Brand new noob

[Sparky12]

Just starting out.
Never drank (regularly) super high amounts but drank very consistently for decades. My wife got very ill 7 years ago at age 49 and I was thrown into the role of primary caregiver. Seemed to be easier when drunk. Never got in trouble, never really affected anything but me. she passed 4 years ago but the drinking didn't. Im on week three of a slow taper. Down to about 75 ml of 90 proof bourbon daily from 500ml. Cant seem to kick the last 75 ml. Im a little weird as in I only drink very small amounts (on the taper) but all day starting first thing in the morning, ive found, for me drinking the same volume but watering it down with the help of hydrometer to now 30 proof or 15% has worked up to now. she had severe seizures as part of her illness and Im very afraid of cutting out the last bit. Any advice appreciated.
TIA

[mollyka]

Re: Brand new noob

Hi Sparky -- just saying welcome to you - I've never tried tapering as I'm an all or nothing person -- even a hint of alcohol would have maintained the longing for me - so it was cold turkey -- so I'm not much use to you.. but 75ml -- that's like two small measures over here in Ireland I think... but not sure about the % proof -- I would just drink alcohol in anyway shape or form back in the day so never studied strengths or anything --
the point I'm making is it doesn't sound like a lot of alcohol to me - I can't imagine that it would cause anything like seizures to eliminate fairly promptly... but perhaps speak to a professional medic about it - you may have other conditions you haven't mentioned.. okay -- just googled spirit strength here -- it's about 40% - so I'm thinking what you are having is about 4 measures -- would it be possible to wean off on a weaker type of drink -- beer or wine?

Anyway -- just saying welcome to you -- my drinking escalated in a major way around the time my mother was dying and family problems that surrounded that time - so really understand where you are coming from

Stick around --- many more much wiser people will answer soon I'm sure

[available]

Re: Brand new noob

Sparky

Welcome to MWO and your success in tapering down. Maybe you are scared just to give up al, i know i was petrified to think i could never drink again.
As Molly said, if you feel comfortable seeing you doctor then that may be the best way to go.
I was an all or nothing person. I gave up cold turkey 8 years ago and took Valium for a few days, now its just a distant memory and i have no regrets giving up drinking at all.
Life is much better and happier.
Head over to the newbies nest and say hello, a great place to get to know others. Also have a look around at different threads and posts. We are all at some stage of sobriety and understand about alcohol.

[Mulburry]

Re: Brand new noob

Just starting out.
Never drank (regularly) super high amounts but drank very consistently for decades. My wife got very ill 7 years ago at age 49 and I was thrown into the role of primary caregiver. Seemed to be easier when drunk. Never got in trouble, never really affected anything but me. she passed 4 years ago but the drinking didn't. Im on week three of a slow taper. Down to about 75 ml of 90 proof bourbon daily from 500ml. Cant seem to kick the last 75 ml. Im a little weird as in I only drink very small amounts (on the taper) but all day starting first thing in the morning, ive found, for me drinking the same volume but watering it down with the help of hydrometer to now 30 proof or 15% has worked up to now. she had severe seizures as part of her illness and Im very afraid of cutting out the last bit. Any advice appreciated.TIA

Congrats! Going down from 500ml to 75ml is a monumental task, you've basically done it! I tried to taper down and had an incredibly hard time getting over the first third, even over months, so at least from my experience, you've done the hardest part. As mentioned, if you're still worried about withdrawal symptoms, having some medication on hand for piece of mind is a good idea, but you might not even need it.

[Sparky12]

Re: Brand new noob

I’m going to take the last step Monday and see if I can do 24 hours completely alcohol free. We shall see how it goes.

[available]

Re: Brand new noob

You can do more than 24 hours Sparky, have some faith.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Brand new noob

Welcome to you [MENTION=24704]Sparky12[/MENTION]
So sorry for your loss.
If you haven't done so already go say hello in the Newbies Nest..................I think the majority of us started out there.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/just-starting-out-/26685-newbies-nest-2779.html#post1803935

I was lucky and had a doctor who understood alcoholism and once I was sober he organized a great counselor.

And a welcome to you [MENTION=24679]Mulburry[/MENTION]

Ooops forgot the Tool Box ..................https://www.mywayout.org/community/j...............if nothing else it gives your something to do when a craving hits.

[Pavati]

Re: Brand new noob

Checking in, Sparky.

Welcome and have a wonderful SOBER day today. I know you can do it.

This is from another all or nothing person - I had to accept that I had to quit for good in order for it to work.

You have all these people behind you. Check into the "Newbies Nest" or the Army or another active thread and you'll get more timely support.

Have a great day!

Pavati

[Slo]

Re: Brand new noob

Welcome, Sparky.
I can sure see why that situation escalated your drinking, and you drank to cope.
I hope your first AF day is going pretty well, and will be followed by many more.
We’re rooting for you!

[Sparky12]

Re: Brand new noob

Status update: I seem to be happy at my current level of intake, gonna sit here for awhile. After reviewing a few facts from the CDC 14 drinks per week is not and issue. at my current intake of 90 ml / 33 ml per oz = roughly 3 oz per day or 2 full 1.5 oz drinks of full 80 proof drinks a day. I still do not like the feeling of having to have even my watered down shot glass full of 30 proof crappy whiskey 6 times a day, but that seems more like mental issue vs. a physical one. My goal is when i drop the last bit to go 30 days. My background is in Mathematics so rationalizing this to myself seems to help. Thanx for listening.

[Mulburry]

Re: Brand new noob

Status update: I seem to be happy at my current level of intake, gonna sit here for awhile. After reviewing a few facts from the CDC 14 drinks per week is not and issue. at my current intake of 90 ml / 33 ml per oz = roughly 3 oz per day or 2 full 1.5 oz drinks of full 80 proof drinks a day. I still do not like the feeling of having to have even my watered down shot glass full of 30 proof crappy whiskey 6 times a day, but that seems more like mental issue vs. a physical one. My goal is when i drop the last bit to go 30 days. My background is in Mathematics so rationalizing this to myself seems to help. Thanx for listening.

That reminds me of when I was trying to taper down super slowly (or even staying at the same amount with different drink types) and having to always do the math converting different percentages and volumes etc. I remember thinking, "at least being good in math is coming in handy for something", haha.

Also, I'm curious, you're basically spreading 2 oz, throughout the day, correct? Do you actually feel anything from that? Cause that would have absolutely no effect on me.

[Sparky12]

Re: Brand new noob

This is what is working for me. Probably not others.

So it took about 2 months to get this level. Still hovering at about 3 oz or 99 ml per day (full strength). The trick for me was using a 750 ml bourbon bottle, a graduated cylinder and watering down 90 proof bourbon in the 750 ml bottle as precisely as possible (i dont drink anything else) slowly sometimes staying at certain levels for a day sometimes for a week and currently been about a month. I drink the exact same volume but with progressively less alcohol in it. also i use an actual shot glass a notepad with dates on it, and make hash marks every time i take a "diluted shot" I still wake up early at 5 am and have a drink and have my last one at 8-9 pm before bed. My poison is Manhattans (bourbon and sweet vermouth) I premix a 750 ml bottle with 200 ml 90 proof, 50 ml of 35 proof vermouth and 500 ml water, take a sharpy and mark the bottle at 1/2 way (former intake was 375 to 500 ml daily and binges in between up to 750 ml) Its funny the vermouth has a strong flavor so it kind of tricks me into thinking its a real drink.

To answer your question, no it does nothing to impair me, tricks me tho. I also went to best buy and purchased a $30 breathalyzer and monitored my blood alcohol level. Keep in mind I am retired have time and kinda made a game of it at first. Currently I never have more than one "diluted 30 proof %15 alcohol shot" per hour, previously ive started over several times.. The other thing that helps me is coffee. My coffee intake has increased 400% the stronger the better gives me the bite i miss in my throat. In conclusion Im still a complete addict, still have not gone 24 hours alcohol free in 10 years, just managing my addiction at this point the best I can. Good luck Happy Holidays!

[Mulburry]

Re: Brand new noob

The slow dilution approach seems like a really smart idea, almost sort of a placebo effect to trick your mind a little bit. I'm glad you managed to get down from were you were at, because that level can be really damaging to your body and have much more dependence potential (that's basically where I was at, except I'd drink it all in a few hours in the evening).

[Guitarista]

Re: Brand new noob

Happy new year to you Sparky and all here.

How are you doing?

Wishing you peace of mind and contentment, good health physical and mental.