Back to try again! Desperate to stop

[rednose]

I am back after a long time away!
I am desperate to quit drinking and stay quit!
I feel like I have been trying to quit my whole life with very little success. I am 67 years old with high blood pressure and a fat gut! I really feel like drinking is going to kill me soon if I don't stop!
I need the secret or the special decoder ring to quit and stay quit!
Any any all suggestions will be greatly appreciated!

Thanks

[Slo]

Re: Back to try again! Desperate to stop

Well, don’t discount “one day at a time”. Narrow your focus to giving it all you’ve got to stay AF for this one day. Then string the days together, one by one.

[Peanut]

Re: Back to try again! Desperate to stop

Dearest Rednose,
I know exactly how you feel. I have been in the same place for several months (years) and I finally took the plunge and talked to my doctor about getting through a detox. I could never get through day three AF. The withdrawl was just too much and I ALWAYS gave in. And 2L of wine and a pack of smokes every day was for sure going to kill me, probably sooner than later! My gown kids didn't want me to die (approaching 61yo here), and one of them in particular, a nurse, really wanted me to do it with medical help. Maybe try it? It worked! It worked for me so far - 22 days today.
I guess after the physcial part of detox is over, it is the mental part, which is really up to us and probably the hardest part. The thoughts come, but they are only thoughts. This group really helps. I am on Topamax. It worked 14 years ago for me (while I stayed on it !!), so I am giving it a go again, and it is great. Ever think about trying it, again?

Keep coming back and consider medical assistance. We all understand completely!
xoxo Peanut

[Pavati]

Re: Back to try again! Desperate to stop

Hi, Rednose:

I concur with Peanut - some sort of in-person help for at least the initial part is helpful. I guess my advice is to suspend disbelief and follow a plan/program. It is too hard to do alone. Whichever plan or program you select, just do it. I remember reading things here and thinking "bullshit, that won't work," but then doing them anyway because there were all these successful sober people here. Slide your ego aside and just do it. Gratitude. HALT. Plan, etc. There are all sorts of tips and tricks in the toolbox on this site as well.

I hope you find freedom. It is so worth it.

Pav

[Hypernova]

Re: Back to try again! Desperate to stop

Hey rednose! Any day is a good day to quit or keep drinking. We have to decide which we want more. Add a couple years and we are in the same place. I've been lucky enough to keep my weight and BP both down through exercise and periodic bouts of AF. Like you said "I am desperate to quit drinking and stay quit!". I feel exactly the same way... I figured if I posted today as day four officially AF that it might hold me a bit more responsible. It is a long tough road to keep this up and I like you am desperate. I have quit many times but the one thing I cannot get right is to remain free. I plan to visit here and read a lot and post a bit. Not my first time down this road. Hopefully I will see you around here also!! Let our desperation turn into hope. All the best to you!! ....... hyper

[lifechange]

Re: Back to try again! Desperate to stop

How are you doing, [MENTION=11645]Hypernova[/MENTION]?
i've also been struggling for a long while on keeping quit..
i see you just posted a couple of days ago.. do you want to join me in posting more often in the Nest?:hug:

[lifechange]

Re: Back to try again! Desperate to stop

How are you doing, [MENTION=18541]rednose[/MENTION]?

[available]

Re: Back to try again! Desperate to stop

Rednose you can do this. Never ever ever did i think i could quite and stay that way. I always thought that the long termers had it easy when they stopped and that i was the only one struggling and what did they know. Now i think back, i know how stupid i was in thinking that but being deprived of my best friend in the whole world was hard, one of the hardest things i have ever done in my life. I was very lucky that i had a quit buddy (Pav) and i didnt want to let her down, i had let enough people down in my life, especially myself. I just took each day as it came, stayed home for three months, went to the shops early so i didnt feel tempted to buy al (that came later about 3pm). The witching hour, i showered, got into my pj's and posted like a maniac on here. watched alcoholic docos on you tube and read every damn thread on here. I figured i would brainwash myself but it did get easier. I still remember the first day i came home from work and made a cup of tea and didnt think about a drink, a proud moment for sure. i remember marking the days off on the calendar and dragging the kids to show them when i had done a week, then two and so on. I had MWO open at work and at home 24/7. I didnt understand Lav saying to be grateful each and every day but i learnt and it is a wonderful tool to have. when i see people drinking, i am grateful that i dont. I am grateful, i wake up sober every day. I told my family and friends and some coworkers i was not drinking, i needed to be accountable, i needed to not let others down but i also needed to not let myself down. It was a total mind f*ck somedays and some days were okay. I learnt to like myself again, to ask for help when i needed it and to not be ashamed of who i am. I am proud to be an ex alcoholic, ex drinker, non drinker even. I have the tools now to deal with every situation that i didnt have when i first started this journey. I tell myself i started with a hammer and now i have a whole toolbelt that i carry around. I tell myself "if i drink, will it make the situation better or will i feel better". i know the answer to that one, we all do. I try and remember as i am typing this how hard it was to initially stop and i know it was excruciating some days and the memories have faded but i will never forget the friends and support i have gained over the years to become who i am now.

We hope in saying one word that it can change someones journey and maybe i have said that and maybe not. Never give up giving up, always be accountable each and every day and love who you are and believe you can do this.

take care xx

Hi JC and Hyper xx