Newbies in Need - Day 24

[Kitty]

Dear all,

I can't believe I'm first up, in fact I really don't believe I am as it's 11.20am here and I'm still in my dressing gown! You all must be busy Bees today.

Well we are half way through the weekend and I hope you are all having a good one. As Garden Girl said yesterday the weekends can be a real test to us so I hope you are all doing well with your goals and if you had a little slip, don't be disheartened just jump staight back on.

Welcome to anyone new from yesterday and any who may come today.


See you all later,

Kitty

[Kitty]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Dear all,

Day 7 af for me today and day 6 without a cigarette, found it quite hard last night especially with the dissapointment of not being able to visit my mom, but I got through it with the help of a great DVD and a Chinese take away!

That is one of my tricks right now, allowing myself treats, I've ditched the diet for now (just too much to do all at once) and I'm eating like a......, well a Pig!!! I've got nothing exciting planned today apart from a trip to Pets@home to buy a scratch post, then we'll assemble it then... zzzzzzzzzzzz sorry I'm even sending myself to sleep!

See you all later, have a great day,

Kitty

[Janice]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Hi everyone, just to let you know I'm fine still hanging in there - just. Dad seriously ill, won't be on over the next few days. love to all. Janicexx

[garden girl]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

had a really bad night, drank loads, very drunk,sat locked in car drinking on the driveway. I am frightened I cant seem to not buy wine, I havnt got any supps or cds or read the book I am going to get all those and hope they help.Having lots of problems in my marriage at present which is why I got drunk yesterday which is so wrong because many of the issues are because of my drinking and how my husband feels about it. In the past 5 years he did try to help and encourage me but I was in a dark place and didnt have the fight to quit the drinking. Now as I feel stronger myself I really need him to be understanding but I am expecting too much as he has just had enough of it and wants it to stop. He gets so angry when the girls are upset at me drinking, I just wish he could focus on the other hours in the day and days in the week when I dont drink instead of just seeing the bad days. Rambling abit this morning sorry ,I have got to stop drinking for a while and I have got to stop now, please send me over some confidence that I can .Catch up later sorry im so down.:upset:

[Guest]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Good morning Kitty and Janice.

Janice, so sorry to hear of your dad`s illness -will pray for you both.

Good to see we`re all " hanging in there ", although is sometimes almost impossible when we have serious worries.

Will pop back later.

Starlight Impress

[Guest]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Awwww garden girl, c`mon, you will be O.K..........we`re all here for you. It`s just like I already said...........lots of times we get sloshed to escape some serious worries, be that marriage hiccups, illness or whatever. And although we all seem to know that the booze isn`t an answer to anything, we`ve all sought solace in it so many times............

Hubby is mad at you as he and the girls love to see you sober, and because you have proved that you can be that wonderful sober Mum and wife, it is all the more upsetting when you fall by the wayside. I think all families of recovering alcoholics are afraid when they see us drinking at all, that even a couple of drinks heralds the beginning of our demise. Same families have to understand that even a non-drinker can get sloshed when it all becomes too much.

Look after YOURSELF garden girl, as only by being good to yourself, are you fit to look after anyone else. Talk to hubby and the girls, and tell them you`re sorry. Then do some straight-talking with your hubby about what`s wrong within the marriage. Tell him you have proved to the family that you can live sober, but that you are a partnership, and to continue your recovery, you must have his unflinching support. Will be thinking of you.

Much love,

Starlight Impress

[Change]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Chinese food, yum!

Janice, i hope things are improving with your dad.

Just playing internet poker at the moment, winning lots of play chips. Lol. I wish it was real money.

Worked last night as was really tempted for a drink, but resisted. Just.

Felt like a drink tonight, but resisted. Again, just.

I've worked out it is best to go to the supermarket during the day, when i am not tempted. The nighttimes are the worst.

Well, i'm glad just about everybody is keeping well.

Garden Girl, ouch. But, there is no use crying over spilt milk. Forget about it, move on and start again if abstinance was your goal

Change.

[lilaclover]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Good Morning Everyone,

Made it through my first Saturday !! 5 days AF now !

Janice, I will pray for you and your Dad !!

Kitty, now I have a new obsession..Chinese food...will have to get soome soon. Don't forget to describe your new kitty and let us know his/her name !

Garden Girl, I found that the supps and the book helped me tremendously. I am sure the CDs would too if I didn't keep falling asleep during them. I am going to try them again tonight.

Good work on resisting, twice, Change.

Have a great Sunday. Will pop in later.

Lots of hugs. Lilac Lover.

[nancy]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Hi

I have been successfully moderating for a little over a week. my 3-drink limit seems to be working.

Janice, I am so sorry about your father. I wish both of you well...

Kitty, I can't believe how well you are doing to quit cigs and drinking at the same time. I just posted some stuff in the research section about cigs and alcohol, cross-addiction, and it looks like you are doing the best thing possible, but it's hard to do!!

Garden girl, it must be really hard to face disappointment of immediate family members, especially children. Get all the resources and try them one by one. I don't listen to the CDS that much but the concepts seem to have had an impact on me. They teach you how to let go of things and relax. the alcohol messages must be subliminal because it is not addressed directly in the ones I have. I have had a greater sense of wellbeing lately and think this might be one factor behind the change, plus supplements? Who knows. I ditched the anti-depressants.

Sometimes a setback is a good time to get tougher about the problem and find something that does work. I have had some lately and it just made me realize how I don't want to live that way anymore and to get a bit more serious about my strategies. I get harder on myself, or stricter on myself without beating myself up.It sounds like you have some work to do about understanding this problem and improving it, but if you look at some of the people on this site you do see some that have done that successfully. Just on this thread, for example, Janice and Bluesky went AF successfully for over a month right away and Starlight came in very depressed and then suddenly ditched her 1 bottle a night habit. I find those stories pretty amazing and hope you and I will be there one day too. If you feel depressed about getting really drunk, it could be a catalyst for positive change. You could look into your nutrition, mental health, make sure you get exercise, lots of things you can do. One important thing is to support yourself as you are trying to make changes.


Hope everyone has a good day.

[Kitty]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Hi Janice we'll be thiking of you over the next few days and prayers to your Dad.

GG sorry to hear you are feeling low, I agree with Starlight try and talk to your husband, relationship problems are very difficult. And yes read the book, get the sups, as someone here said recently, do whatever it takes!! I thought I could do it on my own, but now I'm using every tool I can to try and beat this thing. Even ordered Topa, anything just to try and retrain my brain, and get me into some new habits.

Take good care of yourselves,
Kitty

[garden girl]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Thankyou everyone for all your kind words and good advice, I am going to read them all agsan later. Ive spoken to my husband as opposed to arguing which is what we did this morning. He has said he is sorry and wants us to work things out. He never seemed to understand that just by showing he loved me even though I was drunk was all I need. He has made me feel so ashamed of myself so many times without realising he is doing it. I know I have a problem I would admit that to anyone and I know I have to sort it out. But we need encouragement as we do sort it but just lately all he seems able to do is criticise which just makes me loss even more self esteem. Hopefully going forward we will be able to help each other. Ill catch up later have a good day everybody I think you are all doing so well.
Janice so sorry about your dad.
:h

[retteacher]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Dear GG: I too have faltered. I drink because I have problems, but the drinking only creates more. Yesterday, I stayed sober, & it was awesome waking up this AM w/no hangover & shame. I find that I am so much more rational w/my husband when I have some sobriety. I can deal w/issues instead of hiding from them (w/alcohol). Issues get settled instead of just continuing on. Even though I'm keeping track of my drinking through DrinkTracker, I am trying not to count. I'm saying: "just for today, I'm not going to drink." I find the one day at a time approach works best for me. I'm thinking of you. Mary

[uda]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Gardengirl, I too have had lots of arguments with my husband about my drinking and was drinking to excape from both that and pre-existing problems. I had to take my courage into both hands to allow him to see me vulnerable and say, look when you say/do that you make me feel like a bad person. It did get much better after that. Glad you and your husband are talking and hope you're feeling better this evening.

I'm on day 10. Actually enjoyed the party and stayed for 3 hours, which was longer than I thought I'd be able to.

Take care everybody
Uli

[arlen07]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Shame

Good morning,

You guys are amazing. I am new to this, last night was my first night. I've been toying with the idea of quitting on and off for quite some time. My husband is on a long trip and so I thought this might be a good time to give it a try. I too was happy to wake up this morning without the guilt and shame, if only for one day. I took an Antabuse yesterday as an added insurance policy, as my alcoholic brother is coming over to visit today. He doesn't drink during the day, so I don't think me quitting will come up. Not ready to discuss this with him, and I have actually poured non-alcoholic wine into a old wine bottle so I can "appear" to have a drink with him if it does come up. Is anyone else this nuts?

The guilt, the shame and the embarrassment are the hardest parts for me. I am a CEO of a company and a lot of people depend on me, and on my judgement. I so desperately don't want anyone to know. Thanks for listening, and for all the honesty. That's the thing I seem to be really fighting.

[Guest]

Newbies in Need - Day 24

Hi arlen07 and welcome.
Had to laugh at you pouring innocent stuff into a wine btl. to make it appear to be wine............so many of us here have poured it into all sorts of vessels to make it appear like anything but wine, so desperate were we for a `fix`. But good on you for taking that antabuse so as not to drink when your brother starts on the `sauce` and you are already doing so well with your 1 night of abstinence and making the wine decoy so as not to have your hard efforts sabotaged by your brother.

From what I`ve read on here, antabuse is pretty heavy stuff as far as accidentally ingesting alcohol goes, so my advice would be to not leave your glass unattended this evening.

I think the most important honesty is that which we afford ourselves. It is of no consequence if we never tell anyone of our problem, as long as we are totally honest with ourselves and admit to ourselves, that we do indeed have a problem.

I am not taking any meds., but would advise that you check out the various meds. recommended in the programme and read lots of posts by people using them to see if you would find something preferable to antabuse. Also people swear by the supps. and the hypno C.D.s, so there are many things for you to consider.

I wish you much luck,

Starlight Impress