Newbies in need - Day 29

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I just read everything you said on yesterday's newbies in need thread. Unfortunately, yesterday was a bad one. I know you've heard all this before, but today I'm really determined. Sorry about being such a weakling. I just know it's all going to click some day, because I want it (AF) so badly. Love to you all, Mary

[Cinders]

Newbies in need - Day 29

I did Okay for once

Retteacher,

However, I have had many strings of bad ones, so I totally understand. Seems like I can get a few good days under my belt and then wham, down the tubes I go.

Like Bear has said to me, "Just have to decide no more, so you don't even think about where that next one is coming from," unfortunately, I don't seem to be in that mind set yet.

But, we can do this, and we WILL do this.

So, onwards and upwards!!

Have a better day.

(I have found that planning and finding something else to do does help)

Hugs,
Cindi

[Kitty]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Hi Mary,

Keep slogging away you will get there soon I just know it.

Day 12 for me and I'm off to get my kitten in a couple of hours. Just frantically cleaning and getting tonight's supper ready as I guess we will be pretty preoccupied tonight.

Have a good Friday everyone, see you all later.

Kitty

[nancy]

Newbies in need - Day 29

I had a few beers last night. I wanted the whole week to be AF but came close. I don't mind having a few but it is bad that I had them at home. I want to be done with that bad habit. I have done well with the general habit breaking exercise and plan to continue for the three weeks advised in the book. I am now viewing alcohol like a piece of cake, I can have some once in a while but not as a routine, or else risk poor health.

And when I have a glass, I need to savor it and not go running back for seconds. I don't go running back for cake ONLY because of weight worries. That means, when I do order a drink it is going to be a really nice one. I am thinking quality, not quantity.

I think a big challenge for some of us is learning how not to think in all or nothing terms, throughout life. Is that possible to change I wonder?

Teach: can you write a bit more about what you think is going on? Maybe we could help.

Would you be able to start a no drinking at home rule? and just drink when out at social occasions that are not dangerous (dangerous for me is situation where all the alcohol runs freely, think weddings, BBQs). Safer is a glass of wine with a friend over dinner.

I think the drinking at home is a really ingrained habit. Improving the problem definiitely is aided by ditching the comfort drinking at home.

Maybe in your posts you could provide more detail and the cyber journaling could help you figure out why you are not making as much progress as you would like to. you need to try something different if you what you are doing isn't working. Have you tried getting more physical exercise-- joining a class?

Kitty: I am so happy for you! :goodjob: Wow! 12 days.

[rottrod]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Good Morning to everyone

I have not been AWOL just busy. Hubby has been out of town so I've taken the week off as well. I have a certification that is work related that I must complete by tomorrow and the Topa Dopa thing is making it really difficult to study, and since moving here a year ago I still have about 20 boxes that remain unpacked and I've been concentrating on those. So I've been away from the computer. I've mostly been checking the threads at night late.

Mary, I'm sorry that you are struggling right now. I am happy though that you are picking yourself up everyday and coming back here and posting and talking about it. Have you talked to a professional? Maybe you don't want to do that. Like Nancy says maybe you should tell us a little more information about what is going on in your life. You don't have to reveal too much but there is so much wisdom and experience on these forums that someone may be able to pint you in the right direction. Sometimes just articulating an issue is just what you need to do to get you on your way. What ever.....we are here.

Nancy you are right about comfort drinking at home. Usually with hubby gone it would be my ticket to drink freely but I have not done that and that is confirmation to me that my mindset is changing. Health concerns and just wanting to be free of this burden is such a motivation for me these days.

Kitty You are doing great and your kitty day is finally here, let us know everything about it and if you get any news about the job.

Have a good day everyone.

Melissa

[Sante]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Hope it's okay to jump on this thread.

Mary, I can totally relate to your ups and downs. I'm in the same place, I'm sorry to admit. Keep posting, because it gives me hope.

Nancy, what is the book you're following re., habits? I often think of my drinking as being as much a habit as an addiction...and I'd love to try to employ some of the approaches the book you have suggests.

Sante

[mollyb]

Newbies in need - Day 29

hi reteacher, I am new to this and trying reallly hard for myself and my family. I am now 10 days af free, any tips

[Guest]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Hi all. Hope you`re all well.

Retteacher, you are certainly no weakling, as the fact that you keep trying testifies to that. Keep thinking positively and hold tight to your 1 day at a time approach. It is so very difficult for all of us.........

d2fromala, good luck in your efforts each day to reach your `no more` mindset.

Kitty, congrats. on the 12 days AF, and have a fab., fun-filled evening with the new kitty!!!

Nancy, managing AF all week save for a few beers is a fantastic achievement!!!! Think the drinking at home, rather than socially is a stumbling block for many, myself included........Can relate to the idea of treating alcohol as a piece of cake as a means to successful moderation...........I wouldn`t eat an entire gateau of an evening, so why do I insist on finishing the btl.?? Will stick a post-it note on my Chardonnay label saying C-A-K-E!!! lol

Rottrod, glad to see that you`ve just been very busy, but still here!!

Sante, great that you`ve joined us and are getting back on track.

Mollyb, I bid you a warm welcome. Well done on the 10 days AF.

To each and every one of you and those yet to come.........hope you`re all having a beautiful day!!!

Much love,

Starlight Impress

[sheshe]

Newbies in need - Day 29

:new: I've decided that as part of my program I'm going to post to the newbies in need threads every day. No drinking today - and that's as far as I'm going to commit myself for now . I can't decide if I want to moderate or abstain; I do know that things have got to change. I am so glad I found this site and have the book and Hypno CDs, as well as the Kudzu and all the supps. One way or another I am going to get myself under control!

[Guest]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Welcome to Newbies In Need sheshe.

You seem to have got yourself well equipped with all the tools........good on you!! Now you just have to decide whether abstaining or moderating is for you.......

Personally, I decided that the idea of life without wine was too much for me to bear (lol), so opted to moderate. I`ve successfully reached the end of my 3rd. wk. and feel well and very happy. I could never have gotten my drinking under control without all the wonderful support and encouragement I have received here.

I wish you much luck,

Starlight Impress

[mollyb]

Newbies in need - Day 29

To Sheshe, I am glad you are making the effort too. this last week has been one of the hardest in my life, I am determined to suceed. How do you deceide to moderate or give up, any advice anyone?

[Kitty]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Welcome Sheshe, Molly and Sante,

You'll find this daily thread really helpful, it has helped me enormously. There are loads of members on MWO and I've found that being part of this thread enables you to get to know a few people a bit better. We are very supportive and we are used to supporting each other through our little ups and downs.

Hope everyone has had a great day, as you can see from my mood thingy I'm blissful because the kitten is finally here and we're having fun. He has cried a little bit but he's had some food and a play and is quite content.

See you all tomorrow,

Kitty

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Hi again everyone:
I'm at the end of the day & have stayed AF. Nancy, I've really thought about what you've been saying about breaking habits. I've heard it takes 21 times doing something differently for a habit to break. The habit of drinking alone (in secret) is my downfall. I haven't overindulged in public for a while. My husband has been very busy w/his job which leaves me too much time to do what I want. I have a dog & grandchildren & get loads of exercise, but there are just times when I let myself give in. It's almost like I make the decision to get the wine & bring it home. I have passed up those cravings & driven right by the liquor store. Those are the times that feel so gratifying. I've gotten past the cravings & stayed sober. Then there are the times I've planned to drink & have even driven out of my way to get the wine. I do like your idea of breaking the drinking at home habit. Thank you very much. Mary

[Kitty]

Newbies in need - Day 29

:goodjob: Mary,

See you on tomorrow's thread.


Kitty

[nancy]

Newbies in need - Day 29

Encountering naked reality!

Sante:

The book is called How to Quit Drinking without AA and I wrote a review in the "What we are reading" section. I found it very useful. The book also suggested that a motivation for quitting drinking could be that you want to learn how to deal with problems more maturely. I sure do!!

my newest purchase, not listened to yet but I love the author Pema Chodron, is a CD called Getting Unstuck: Breaking habitual patterns and encountering naked reality. Sounds good, will let you know how it goes.

Mary:
Have you thought about getting a part-time job or regular volunteer activity? I do better when I have to be somewhere. Breaking the at home habit is a huge step toward improvement. I do that successfully for the most part now, but sometimes flop after a night out and bring it back. I hope those days are over. I am still amazed that Starlight gave up her bottle a night habit, so relatively quickly. I don't know how she did it. I was thinking about drinking alone at home last night while on a walk, this need i had to pull up as if into a coccoon with wine. It was self-medication, attempt to soothe the self and retreat from the rest of the world. It's hard to imagine anything more antisocial. A futile attempt at self-medication! It is hard to think of a worse way of dealing with loneliness, but breaking the habit is easier said than done.

Starlight:
I have been looking at it as cake but I realize that this puts a good light on it in a way and maybe this is a little controversial. However, I simply can't look at it as poison! Just a treat that needs to be used sparingly and slowly, with caution.

Welcome to anyone new. Like Kitty, I like this thread a lot too and have learned so much from it.