Scared!!!

[Guest]

I was never scared to drink to excess. Indeed, I was never scared to drink beyond the amount I knew I could handle, knowing full well that such an amount often caused me to forget half of the night before and would make me feel like an Accident and Emergency case the morning after.

Now for the funny part, only I`m not laughing...........am scared of all the M.W.O. tools, save for the website. Know I don`t want to do the meds., but why the Hell am I so s*** scared of possible adverse reactions to the supps?............like kudzu sounds as if it may well be my saving grace, but am scared to take it...........and I`m suffering!!!!

Am in my 4th wk. of mods. now........have done really well.........have 3 successful wks. of drinking 1 btl./wine a night as opposed to the nightly btl. I used to have. Some nights are good, and I cope fine, but have had a couple of really testing nights with me almost climbing the walls for a drink...........like tonight.......has been so helluva hard............weakened today and brought a btl. home........haven`t opened it and I won`t now.........is almost midnight.........but I brought it home with full intention of drinking it!!!!
Reasoned with myself that to open it would be throwing all my good work of past 3 wks. away. Cravings ebb and flow, but I can`t continue as I am, as some nights it just feels almost impossible to resist.

Anyone ever been afraid of the kudzu??? Surely I can`t be alone on this???

I really need some concrete help...........don`t want to go back to the pit I was in before!!!

Starlight Impress

[Guest]

Scared!!!

Error in previous post.........have only had a btl of wine a wk for last 3 wks

[AAthlete]

Scared!!!

Starlight, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time with the cravings coming and going.

Is it even remotely possible that there is part of you that really doesn't want to quit drinking, and that is why you are scared of the supps, etc. - that they might actually help you out?

I'm probably waaay off base, but I know when I was first working on AF I didn't REALLY WANT to quit (but I sure could talk a good game). I realized that all my triggers were still there - that it was just the drinking that I was removing. Without dealing with the triggers, I was still bottled up inside, but now didn't have my normal outlet so I was probably even worse off mentally than I was before.

[Guest]

Scared!!!

I don`t want to quit AA..........just want to be satisfied with 1 btl./wine a week, without cravings so bad they can feel like torture when I`m trying to be AF weeknights. Has been such a bloody hard night for me......just want to overcome my fear of the kudzu......don`t know how though........

[CAPRICORN1]

Scared!!!

hmmmm....i'm trying to help here by my experience. o.k here goes.....

if someone told me that something natural with no side effects that was good for my body would help reduce the craving for something that is essentially toxic to my body...i would hunt it down and take it...and i did and i do take the kudzu and for me with all the other vits & supps it is working on my mod drinking

my only concern is of the topamax...that is for me the scary one, but it was more scary when i was drinking 1-2 bottles a night every night. now i seem to drink 2 glasses if i can stomach them 2-3 nights a week and i am loving the freedom that all this has given me. i think the l-glut, kudzu, and yes the topa, even though it make me tired are working.

have you read enough about kudzu?...is it just the name?

you are doing great and have come a long way from ibott a nite to 1 bott a week....keep it up!!!

[Guest]

Scared!!!

Don`t know anything anymore............my head feels like mush tonight........tormented by wine........maybe I`ve been fooling myself...........maybe I just can`t get out..........I just don`t know.........................

[Guest]

Scared!!!

Saddest feeling of all to be in such a state tonight/feel like I`m in bits...............and there`s noone here..............

[bird]

Scared!!!

I feel like that. I posted on general a couple days ago and got some great replies. I think I called it Scared I cant quit or somthing like tat.Look for it. bird

[Guest]

Scared!!!

I replied to your post bird and I said you would do it and now I`m falling apart.........think I`ve really been kidding myself...........I sooooooooooo want a drink and is now after 1 in morn!!!!

[tawnyfrog]

Scared!!!

Starlight Impress - I see you've now logged off but when you feel like this you should try to hop into "Chat" - I see there's 3 people logged on right now who could probably talk you through tonight.

Take care

[Beaches]

Scared!!!

Starlight,
I am taking the Kudzu with no adverse side effects. Maybe research it a bit more on the internet or ask RJ some more about it. It's natural and works so well that I hope you do end up giving it a go.

I am not sure why you would be so scared to take it. Do you not take supplements as a general rule or is it just the kudzu?

I hope this passes for you soon..take care

[Glamourwitch]

Scared!!!

Hi. I hope you're feeling better today. I hope it went well last night but if it didn't there's nothing wrong with starting over again. Don't beat yourself up about it. The fact that you've cut down tremendously is high achievement in and of itself. It takes time to get it right. After countless defeats myself I can say that I'm at the halfway point to getting control over this. It has taken me years to go from a blackout bourbon guzzler to a bottle of wine (or 2) a night to a weekend wine binger. You can do this.

[lilaclover]

Scared!!!

Hi Starlight, You have done so well and have been an inspiration for so many newbies...I hope Tuesday finds you feeling better ! If you have a general aversion to supplements and medication then your reluctance to use kudzu is understandable. If not, then perhaps a little more research would reassure you. Asian countries have used kudzu for alcohol cravings for centuries, MWO is certainly not the first. But maybe it is just the timing, as both Kitty and I were feeling down and crabby at the 3 week mark !!! So I guess we just have to keep on keeping on. Will be thinking of you.

[louise]

Scared!!!

Oh Starlight, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. Can you tell us more about what scares you about kudzu? Are you taking any of the supplements? The vitamins? Are you using the cds? We are in way different time zones. I hope you made it through the night ok.

[SKendall]

Scared!!!

Starlight Impress, I so understand what you are saying. AA Athlete has a good point though. I have consulted a doctor here in the past who specializes in alcoholism and that has been his specialty. I told him about the MWO program and he told me that nothing will work until our brain/mind has serious intent.

I found that difficult to understand, but in my experience only, it was true. I always wanted to stop drinking, but had that vision of cold white wine in my mind.

We've had several positive postings lately in the Holistic Healing thread, maybe that will help.

I'm with you, I have these cravings myself. I eat chocolate or ice cream to get rid of the cravings. Now, where is the Weight Watcher's Program???