Thanks for all your kind words.
I made it through the night without a drink, but know it was a close call..........finally got to sleep at 4 am. Think the time differences can be a bit rough on us if there seems to be noone around when going through a desperate hr. or 2, but like you say tawny, there were a couple of people in chat who would have been a great help to me, but I must just have missed them and logged off.
I feel really `small` this morning and think it`s just hit me full-force in the face, exactly what I`m up against............really thought a steely determination alone would see me stay the course............now I know for sure that having a will of iron is of little help and I need something tangible to beat down the cravings.
Have to wonder why I`ve been doing O.K. `til now with the cravings...........have experienced some, but nothing anywhere near as intense as last night. I see some of you have felt this way too around 4th wk., so maybe it`s quite common to be tested almost beyond endurance at this point.
Am really having to look at the bigger picture this morning. Am very wary of kudzu and the likes, and I don`t really understand why, considering I must have been on the verge of alcohol poisoning so many times in the past. I can even reason with myself that alcohol is poisonous and kudzu is natural and reportedly harmless, so am left wondering if AAthlete is possibly close to the mark and my real fear of the kudzu lies in the fact that it is likely to help with the cravings, thus taking away my need of a drink, but also taking away my EXCUSE to drink...........maybe subconsciously I`ve been hankering after an EXCUSE to allow me to fail.........
Sorry for rambling on..........rambling in this post really reflects how confused I am at mo.
Really need to give this a lot of thought today as I just can`t go through another night like last.
Starlight Impress
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