Just starting Topamax

[gabby]

Just starting Topamax

I encourage you all to keep goin. I dont think I would have ever been able to stop drinking without it. I went completely af for 18 months. Then when I drank a few beers it just wasnt that good. I went up to 200mg at the highest for the 18 months and have slowly been tirating down since. Humm....thats been since Jan or so. I have lost track now. Anyway I have gone completely off topa now and have not gone back to old habits. Yet! But the lousy taste of beer that I had with topa has diminished now and it is a different level of will power that I have to exersise now without the aid of topa. Geeze.....did that just now make sense? What I mean is while I was takin topa my desire to drink just wasnt there. And it tasted crappy too. All very un-enjoyable. Now while not takin topa I could enjoy a beer, and could desire one too. Still not nearly as strong but I know its up to me not to allow myself to fall back in to old habits on my own. Sometimes its harder then others but for now I still have a grip.
Or....ugh back on topa I go.

[livingfree]

Just starting Topamax

Good points. I move up to 75 mg tomorrow. I am actually 50 days AF - and pray I never even want to play around with Mods. It's just been to painful of a 50 days to get to this point. I don't ever want to go through this again. I am hoping that this is my motivation for staying AF. This board is a good place to sort this all out. I love it and I love all of you. Cindi - good point on the max amount. I need to keep reminding myself ODAT. I'm ALWAYS 4 weeks out in front of myself and then end up doing nothing today or worse yet -- make a disaster out of today. So - today is the day I'm going to live to my BEST! Gabby - it gives me great hope to hear your long term success. It reminds me of quitting smoking. The further away from it you get the greater the odds you won't go back (even without the topa) but you have to be on guard - as your brain is always going to see it and call "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN AL? I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK AT MAKING ALL THESE NUROTRANSMITTERS FROM FOOD WHEN YOU WERE AROUND... I LIKED LIFE WHEN I WAS LAZY AND COULD COUNT ON YOU TO FILL THESE GAPS FOR ME" :ey:
Great day to all of you!
Liv (Olivia)

Is this the winter that just won't end?

[gabby]

Just starting Topamax

livingfree,your absoultly right!!! made me giggle.

[Cinders]

Just starting Topamax

Gabby,

Always so glad to see you posting and so happy to hear you are still doing well.

Thank you for the info.

Love you,
Cindi

[gabby]

Just starting Topamax

Hi cute Cindi....love you too! And likewise...happy to see you doin well.

hugs....

[Cinders]

Just starting Topamax

Well, everyone, the skin thing finally got so bad, I was itching all over and my face looks like a red, rosy, scaly mess that I am titrating back off the topa. Grrr.

I guess I have no choice but to beat this darn thing on my own.

Campral did nothing for me.

However, the guy in the gift shop told me he loves Chantix for quitting smoking!! (Just like Memarcie has said.) So, what the heck. I can at least try that!! Get rid of one bad habit the "easier softer way..." LOL

Love,
Cindi

[Koochee]

Just starting Topamax

I tried to order Adrafinil from River, they do not seem to have it...other sources?...I am at
50 of Topa now and starting to feel sluggish during the afternoon at work...they have Modafinil...spendy little devils if you are on a budget! I am feeling less desire to drink and certainly drinking less...2 AF days in the last 7 shooting for more but not there yet....love reading the posts...thanks everyone. Taking all the supplements including SAMe.:new:

[Cinders]

Just starting Topamax

Koochee,

Awesome on how well topa is already starting to work for you. Wish I could take it. :-(

I don't know about the Adrafinil or Modafinil, just wanted to send a note and say, Good JOB!!

Hope it ends up in you getting where you want to be.

Love,
Cindi

[Koochee]

Just starting Topamax

Thanks Cindi...I have been drinking every night for many years as a way of life and am sick and tired of sick and tired...I am like the book....tried a lot of things that haven't worked but never medications.... so I am excited to find this site and Topamax and I am definitely motivated....I just pray this is IT!!! Even with some side effects I will stick with it no matter what! No bumps yet...will let you know....Has anyone tried Baclofen yet? I read the article in the blog...I should confess the AF days were because I was not left to my own devices..had to go to a wake/rosary and a meeting with my sister....but still, before I would have had a couple, brushed my teeth and no one would have been the wiser. I want my life and energy back!!! S.

[Cinders]

Just starting Topamax

Koochee,

As far as I know, I am the only one with the skin and bumps. Go figure....

I tried Baclofen and it did NOTHING, nada, zilch, for me.

Campral, too.

Naltrexone, too.

The Campral and Naltrexone, however, have worked great for others.

I think I am a super-resistant strain of alcoholic. (I would add a laughing face here but IT IS NOT FUNNY!!)

So, good luck with the topa. Many have done fabulously with it and I actually was able to stay AF for 15+ days on it, am actually still AF but topa made it MUCH easier.

Keep it up. It is so worth it.

Love,
Cindi

[Koochee]

Just starting Topamax

THANKS Cindi....Maybe as you titrate down, there is a level that you can tolerate? You are so worth it :-)

[Hope Emily]

Just starting Topamax

Behavior change and topa

Am on 3rd week of vitamins, topa, CD's, exercise program(s) and have noticed some behavioral changes along with the other reported symptoms of tingling extremities and cold after taking topa. The behavior is not with actions so much as with uninhibited / irrational thinking and speaking out . . . things better left unsaid perhaps, not necessarily untrue, but hurtful. Perhaps some anger I'm feeling, but am wondering if it's a result of the brain chemistry interaction of the topa. Currently taking 75 mg. 25 mid AM and 50 late PM.

Thanks to anyone with advice or experience.

Hopeful for recovery.

PS. Working on moderation at the moment.

[Koochee]

Just starting Topamax

Funny that you say that....I kind of spoke out myself at work on Thursday...have a rather incompetent boss and usually just grumble to myself and feel pissed but actually was very articulate in correcting him and I feel it made a positive difference. When drinking we stuff our feelings and that makes us want to drink even more so we get to feel resentful...for me, victim has been a pattern sometimes. Exercising power is a way out of this...power over alcohol gives us power over our lives. I am at 50 and a half of a .25. I have no tingling, but a little lack of focus at work and time seems to slow down. I also am using the supplements as recommended and hypno-therapy. I find I am sleeping very well.
Last night I had 1 drink, just didn't want any more...VERY unusual for me....so it is definitely working...I am trying not to put absolute standards of perfection on myself as that is what I tend to do but to rather celebrate each success...I have already made huge progress and I love and accept myself for that...in week 2. Oh, I find I cried twice last week so it has also made me a bit labile...not sure if that is the Topa or what....So reassuring to hear from everyone...thanks Emily! S.