I feel your pain
I have to have faith though and will just keep taking nal whenever I drink, which for the last umpteen years has been every day, except for a few white knuckle days, weeks or months in AA/NA.. My hope is that this 'cure' works for me, rewires my f'd up head and takes away the desire and cravings for alcohol.
My GF can take or leave it, anytime.. One night she may have half a glass of wine, other nights nothing. I want to be like that!!
Maybe abstinent will be my end result but for now I just want the compulsion/cravings/insanity to be gone. One thing became quite apparent last night though. I will need to change/lose some friends... But that would probably be for the best whether I was trying to stop or control my drinking or not..
Lord help me, I can't do this alone...
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