Day 6 now. Yesterday took 2 Campies in am, one in afternoon, one in evening. Went to a dinner where everyone drank a hearty amount of everything. I asked for bottles of sparkling water and a pitcher of lemon juice. No one notices. My mom did ask my why I am drinking all this lemon juice, though ha ha. Took 1.5 mg benzo at night around 11 as my heart was still racing. Our son got sick at night and I was up with him from 2:30 to around 4 and I feel tired but not a wreck as I would have if I had had AL.
More stuff with DH. He says he has tons of anger that he has to work through. He said he was sorry for being too hard on me. He says he loves me. Then a few hours later he starts in again. I guess he's feeling confused. Question is, where does he cross the line between working through anger and being abusive? If he lashes out at me and I withdraw, he says I'm being a cold bitch. Then he takes my coldness as a hunting license to lay into me even more and say my bitchiness is the justification for his anger. Where is the line? I can't fight it now, I have to beat AL first. He said, name one loving thing you have done for me this week? I thought, WTF, you are so clueless about what I am going through, but to try to explain seems humiliating. Haven't we all seen the movies, read the books, seen the articles, or is it like pregnancy, where one only notices other preggies if one is or wants to be preggers?
Feeling like a lab technician,
Tulipe
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