Hi Red,
Glad to have your thoughts and experiences included here. On the one hand, congratulations on making the move to get AL to stop controlling your life. On the other hand, I'm sorry the experience has been a bit of a downer. Here are a couple of reactions to your post.
I feel a bit depressed too, but I think it's not due to Campral, but because of going AF and my body adjusting to it. Also my mind adjusting to it. I'm also dealing now with some other issues now that I am sober. I don't think I can have a glass of wine alone and not drink a whole lot more. I think if I am with other people, and can't get more, I can have a few glasses of wine and be ok. However, I am sort of following Moo's plan - lots of AF days in between any AL to keep my body clean and unaddicted to AL. I fear that as soon as I have AL for more than 2 days in a row I will need it again the next day.
I get drunk faster while on Campral, and we both have worse hangovers. It doesn't diminish the pleasure, exactly, but changes it. The hangovers a certainly worse. However, Campral re-wires the brain to stop us from needing that high pleasure level - I find I enjoy food, a lot, more than before, but even with a plate of great pasta, when I'm full I just can't overeat. That's not bad - my body is telling me to stop before I overeat. I've lost weight too, and that's a good thing.
Crying is part of PAWS - have you looked up PAWS? These are normal feelings. We just have to tell ourselves this is temporary and get through it.
Have you tried a bit of exercise? I find that helps to get me out of the hole. Cooking? Potter's Puppet Pals on YouTube?
So here's a really bad joke to make you laugh:
Ask me if I'm a tree.
(you have to ask me before I tell the rest.)
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