Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

[christyacc]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

I admire your name, veritas--godess of truth......very cool!

[veritas]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

Thank you everyone for your response.

Just to let you know, I left work rather late, so all I wanted to do was fall into bed.

My problem at the moment is that I work at a very social place. It is lovely in every respect, but disasterous in that most evenings end with people chilling with a glass of wine. For me, it meant white knuckling. One glass would end in two, or three, or four or.... or .. or.

All I want, is to be able to say, "no thanks, I'll make myself a cup of tea" and feel happy with that.

I really have reached a point when I can say, I do not want to mod.. I really enjoy being sober. Then the madness starts, the craving sets in and all I can do is think about and focus on that glass of wine. I know it will end in disaster, vomiting, maybe social embarrasment... but the day will come when I will go ahead and the cycle starts all over again.

I am not feeling as "light" today as I did yesterday on the baclofen. I am feeling relaxed and focused though. My energy has not been affected. I was afraid that I would feel tired and drowsy. This is not the case. I am looking forward to seeing how I will cope with this evening when I see everyone relax with their chill out glass of wine.

[Evie.Lou]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

Veritas, Sounds like you are giving Baclofen a really good test buy being in an environment with "social drinking" going on so early in your recovery process. I'm not sure how well I could have handled that ??? I have been on Baclofen off and on for over a year now and have remained sober thru out that whole time. As far as I am aware I am the person on this site that has stayed sober the longest time using Baclofen ??? I didn't need huge doses. Small amounts of 30mg ~ 40mg a day are the most I have ever used. I have also continued on the recommended MWO sups along with the Bac. In fact I have relied on the MWO sups alone for a good amount of that time and used Baclofen only during times of stress. For me it seems once the OFF switch has been flipped I am OK until something flips it back on again. Then I quickly grab Baclofen and I have been able to maintain my sobriety.
I am following your progress with great interest !!

[veritas]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

Evie.Lou, I don't seek out the social enviroment, it is just there, that has been a major problem. My office is close to the area where people socialise. I lot of my work is very stressful, so the period of relaxation after work is something that I really look forward to.

I manage to deal with it for a while and then something triggers a relapse. Its often something really pleasant. Last week it was an unexpected "thank you" dinner from a collegue.

I am still trying to get the embarrasment of the evening out of my memory. I had to be driven home and spent a lot of the night depositing my supper on the floor.

My work is very social and demands constant people interaction. The new project that I am initiating includes a lot of enviromental stuff. Anyone who works with people who work in the bush can attest to the fact that beer and bush are often synonomous. It is imperitive that I manage my alcohol situation.

I have worked well with ante buse, but I am back into my same pattern of planning relapses. It is often work related when there is a celebration of sorts. I deal better with bad situations than party situations.

[Evie.Lou]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

veritas;658241 wrote: Evie.Lou, I don't seek out the social enviroment, it is just there, that has been a major problem. My office is close to the area where people socialise. I lot of my work is very stressful, so the period of relaxation after work is something that I really look forward to.

I manage to deal with it for a while and then something triggers a relapse. Its often something really pleasant. Last week it was an unexpected "thank you" dinner from a collegue.

I am still trying to get the embarrasment of the evening out of my memory. I had to be driven home and spent a lot of the night depositing my supper on the floor.

My work is very social and demands constant people interaction. The new project that I am initiating includes a lot of enviromental stuff. Anyone who works with people who work in the bush can attest to the fact that beer and bush are often synonomous. It is imperitive that I manage my alcohol situation.

I have worked well with ante buse, but I am back into my same pattern of planning relapses. It is often work related when there is a celebration of sorts. I deal better with bad situations than party situations.

My heart REALLY goes out to you !!! Stress is a HUGE trigger and the social drinking issue is a big problem that we all have to deal with.
The best I can tell you is that Baclofen has been like a comforting close friend that is always there by my side (I can count on that) and offers me unconditional support towards my goal of staying sober. If I would choose to drink then I guess Baclofen won't give me a big huge fight over it. I kinda visualize Bac as saying to me " I am here if you need me, if not NOW.., I am not far away".
To me if I did decide to drink I would feel comforted in knowing I had an Ali to give me a "hand back up on to the wagon" .......so to speak. That's how I see Baclofen, as a friend I can TRUST !!!........Make sense ???

[veritas]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

I am very comforted to hear that testimony. I cannot think of how many times I have prayed, "please help me, dear God, please help me".

I listen to the first of the 12 steps and I think, "what am I doing wrong?" I am not in denial. I am not trying to make excuses, I have been on ante buse...yet the day comes when I think, "oh bugger this" and I slide back into my self destructive mode.

I have seen exerpts from our good doctor's book. I really could relate to his problems with cravings. The day comes when you get tired of trying and it all starts again.

I gave up smoking. I experienced all the withdrawals and just dealt with the cravings. I don't know what it is about alcohol that I just start all over again.. and again... and again.

Tonight I finish earlier that usual. That is always a danger time. At least if I work very late most people have left. I'll see how I cope.

[Evie.Lou]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

Be comforted cause I KNOW that (all that CRAP can be behind you now) and I KNOW that Baclofen will be your new best friend....just wait and see !!!

It won't be long now and I am sure you'll feel the effects.
And just think....A year from now (you can be like me)and you can carry Baclofen torch forward for others to SEE their way out of the darkness of the PIT of alcoholism !!!

[shelbysmiles]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

veritas;658302 wrote:
I gave up smoking. I experienced all the withdrawals and just dealt with the cravings. I don't know what it is about alcohol that I just start all over again.. and again... and again.

I just wanted to comment on this. I have finished reading Alan Carrs book on quitting drinking (a great book if you have not read it). He says that it can be easier to quit smoking because smokers are now considered "social outcasts" . You can't smoke in restuarants, clubs, bars (at least in California) and the majority of homes. Even when I was a smoker I never smoked in my home! I would go outside no matter if there was a blizzard (I lived in Denver for a while) or a 100 degree heatwave. But with alcohol, in many cases, you are considered the "outcast" if you do not drink. Alcohol is still a very much accepted poisen. It is included in everything we do. Funerals, weddings, BBQ's, Breakfast (always loved a mimosa on the weekends), lunch, dinner, after dinner drinks....it is so embedded in our society. We have to be work harder because we are going against the grain; unless you live in the Amish community of course!

[louise]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

Good point Shelby. I too have wondered why I could give up smoking but not the alcohol. Even tried smoking again to reduce the alcohol relapses! Worked for a while then I just ended up addicted to both again.

[veritas]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

Point taken Zenstyle.. I was just a bit taken in with the complete lack of tension I feel on Bac. Maybe it is about my body adjusting.

In terms of addiction and baclofen, I do hope that it will help to open up a new way of understanding about why some people get addicted and others not. I often hear people try to explain addiction away in terms of a crisis or a emotional problem, but I do not believe that is the case. Everyone will have to deal with a crisis at some stage of their lives and most of us have some kind of emotional vulnerability.. its not the trigger, or "the start button" causing the problem, its the lack of a "stop button".

I am more likely to relapse in good times than bad. I love the euphoria that comes with an evening out with friends.. we can all get very jolly, but they don't end up vomiting like experimental teenagers.

For me the cravings have always been a mystery. They can pop up at the most inopportune moments and once that thought is there, it just won't go. So often I know that all I need do is have a good meal and it will subside, but I will knowingly go out, buy my wine and end up being as sick as a dog again. I can be overly responsible in most areas of my life, but when a craving takes control, its like being a passenger in an out of control car.... I just seem to have no power over it.

[veritas]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

Starting a new day. I seem to struggle a bit more to fall asleep, but it is not too much of a problem. I have also realised that I cannot take it on an empty stomach, it leaves me feeling too nauseas. I should be upping my dose today, but I think that I might keep it down for one more day. I am still very "light headed" and mildy euphoric.

I have stated before that I am a small person. When I am not drinking my weight is 48kg, when I drink it can reach 53kg max. I am wondering if this is playing a role in my reactions at such a low dose. I am 158cm, which is not minute, but it is fairly below average.

[beatle]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

Veritas, I agree so much with about everything you have written -- and you express my thoughts so well.

I am also a small person (actually not so tiny, just very light -- my friends jokingly call me a "lightweight"), so I am especially interested in hearing how your body reacts to the Bac, and at what levels you get the effect. I will hopefully be starting tomorrow-- so just a few days behind you.

I also cannot think of how many times I have prayed, "please help me, dear God, please help me". I will still be saying it as I take my first dose of Bac, but this time it will be with a good deal more hope in my (inner) voice.

[louise]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

I agree. I did not start drinking in reaction to bad times. And my absolutely worst out of control times were celebrations, like my own wedding! Veritas, if you are having good effect at the dose you are at, I'm not sure you need to go up. I do think there is something to this slow titration and that waiting until adjusted to side effects at one dose is a good idea before increasing. I think Bill P. said a rough estimate of 'switch' dose would be .5 mg/k weight, so yours would be 25mg. Many have had to go higher, but some less.

[Evie.Lou]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

I am quite small myself...as the song say 5 ft. 2 eyes of blue......
maybe 128lbs. or around there and I find 30 mg a day to work fine for me. The most I have done is take and extra 10mg during times of stress.
Many others speak of amounts of 90 mg being needed to control their cravings ???
In my opinion I would take what ever amount was needed to get relief from the insidious constant cravings that used to plague me !!!
Baclofen seems to be so easy on my body compared to the effects of alcohol !!!
I have searched to find any negatives to report about Baclofen and after over a year of using it I can find none ??? I have a MILE LONG list of the HORRIBLE things that alcohol did to my body that I could share with you but I am sure you are all aware of these from your own experiences !!!

[veritas]

Veritas takes the Baclofen plunge

Oh dear, "eish".........

I drank. I walked though a dangerous space, and..

I needed to change my mood... or did I?

eish, as any South African knows, "eish" says everything.... joy, sadness, madness...

"eish" is what escapes from a black, white... specifically South African mouth.

I am not drunk and I will go to sleep soon.. but I did walk though my very tempting social section of my work and ended up talking and drinking 3/4 glasses of wine ..

I then phoned into a talk show dealing with a subject that connected with my passion... education and creating another space where all folks black or white, can be acknowledged... have rascist assumptions challenged........

thing is, and this is my problem.. right now, I am not drunk, but tipsy.. I also stepped into an extraverted mad space that my intraverted self would have ignored..... I made myself visable, talked, risked censure, being unpopular.. in what is still a very rascist society.

I connected with a passion and felt very alive.