I have to admit that at the beginning of your post I was really, really worried and felt terrible but by the end I was literally laughing out loud. Thanks for starting my day off like that. (Laughing with you, not at you.)
So, first things first. It ain't my first rodeo and it's certainly not the first time someone has reached out from afar. There were people here who did it for me (Terryk and others) way, way back in the day. There aren't many of us who have been around as long and still check in regularly. _serenity_ and I hit the switch around the same time, and I'm pretty sure we posted to each other (and others) every single day. I was the nutjob who kept taking too much or too little...She was much more reasonable. Anyway...
Taking too much baclofen fucks up my eyes, too. And I don't know if it will make you feel better, but wetting the bed is not that unusual when you overdose. Seems to happen to guys more than women, but maybe the women just don't post about it? I know I wouldn't, even if it had happened to me. It's a chick thing.
I doubt you're bipolar if you haven't had a diagnosis yet. I'm not but I still had some hypomania. (And I agree with you. It's a terrible disease/diagnosis and I was VERY fucking relieved that I'm not actually...My sister-in-law is and she is a messed up woman. Won't take her meds...Then again, now that I've experienced a bit of it, I don't know if I would either.)
I'm also one of the ones who was alcoholic from day one. Unlike you, though, alcohol (and cigarettes) are my one and only true loves. My husband, on the other hand, never met a drug he didn't like and couldn't abuse. He once took the dog's meds. All of them. Seriously. Scared the shit out of me and I spent the day monitoring him to make sure he kept breathing. God those were awful times.
He's sober now. Baclofen works, even for those of us who are fucked up from the beginning and love any kind of high.
And now I guess you know why we say to go slow and that it isn't addictive. It'll fuck you up, but it isn't any fun.
Look, don't feel bad about trying it, though. Been there. And I'll tell you a cautiounary tale about not taking enough, before you go and decide to do that too. ()
My husband decided, despite the fact that I was walking him through this whole process every day, to go from ~140 to ~60mg. His work, at the time, was incredibly stressful because the company he worked for went through a hostile takeover, they fired everyone except him and one other executive. He wanted a clear mind, and felt like baclofen was making him fuzzy.
He went to work. And he lost his shit. Called me around lunchtime and told me that he walked out. He couldn't take it. He was in his car sobbing. (I'd never heard him cry before. God those were awful days.) So I picked him up, got him to the doctor, got him some benzos, got him back on the right amount of bac, and spent the next two days convincing him that he could, indeed, go back to work.
Which he did. And kicked some ass. Got sober a couple of weeks later, got another job with a 50% salary increase. That meant I could stop working and go back to school. So I did. The rest, my friend, is history.
Of course, I was a bit (ahem) retarded in that I decided to go WAY down to 80mg and started drinking again. But it is NOTHING like it used to be, even though it still sucks. I have no doubt that I'll stop soon. If for no other reason than that booze is expensive and I have a penchant for expensive shoes I can't afford at the moment.
Hang in there my friend.
:hug: Karen/Ne
Comment