Hi everyone! :new:
Who (or what) am I?
I'm a 6' 170 lb. male who drinks. A lot. (IMO)
I've been drinking much more than I should for quite some time now, more than 15 years. For the last ten or so I've probably averaged between 7 and 14 drinks per evening, closer to the latter lately. I started out only in the evening, but for the past year or so have slipped into benders where daily intake is 20 or more per day. In the last month, I had one stretch of 10 days, with a 4 day break (where a break is defined as only drinking in the evening), followed by another 9 day bender. At this point, no matter how I try not to, any non work stretch becomes a bender, including weekends.
I've been intending to moderate for some time now, but no matter how determined I was, it just didn't work. I've never tried AA, there are things about their philosophy that just don't fit me. Never tried CBT (in fact, never been to a shrink). I've never discussed my drinking with anyone.
Stress, anxiety, insomnia, and the fear of dire withdrawal symptoms are all factors. I drink to sleep, which doesn't work all too well, since I wake up a few hours later, then drink again to get back to sleep. If I didn't, I'd obsess over whatever, and not sleep. I never thought I suffered from anxiety, but watching my mind lately, I've come to realize that indeed I do. The fear of withdrawal symptoms leads me to try to titrate down slowly, but I can never seem to keep to the scheduled amounts. And of course all of these play against each other.
The only times I've been af were visits to family, when I was staying with family. Titrating down before visits was quite a struggle.
The toll this is taking on my body and mind is becoming more evident every day, and I had to find some way to deal with this.
I've poked about MM (lurked on the boards there) for some time. Every time I found a drug mentioned I researched it, and for most, the results didn't sound very promising. Then I came across Naltrexone and TSM. This looked promising. I found a board with discussions about people's experiences with it (TSM that is), and thought I had found something really good. Granted it seemed to be taking some time for results, and the results were mixed, but it seemed better than anything else I had found. I tried to order from alldaychemist, but their site wouldn't accept my cc, and the only way it seemed I could order was to send them a check.
Before I could do that, though, I found another drug I had never heard of: baclofen. This looked even more promising. I devoured all threads I could find on this board about it (many, many, many thanks to all of you), and this seemed even more attractive.
I started ordering bac (you may have seen a thread I started about my research on that) a little less than two weeks ago. I received my first order three days ago. I'll be posting about my progress as I go along.
Again, I want to express my gratitude to everyone posting about their progress and experiences here. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have pursued baclofen. I most likely wouldn't have found out about Dr. Ameisen.
At this point, after three days, I'm already experiencing some very good things with bac. I hope it lasts. Even if it doesn't, I'll be titrating up until craving is supressed (or I reach a point where it doesn't and I can't go any further).
So there you have it.
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