Underground movement !

[bernard]

Underground movement !

Pete1;683459 wrote: Not good. I shouldn't have titrated up the day before an important meeting at work. ... This HAS to work and soon.

Pete1,
Can you tell us your current bac dose and bac dosing history? How many hours of sleep did you get that night when you got up at noon?

[Pete1]

Underground movement !

I only went from 30 mg to 40. I've only been at it for less than two weeks this time. I had to be AF on vacation a while back and I took it then to help with detox and I didn't have any problems. The problems all seem to be from mixing lots of AL with the Bac. As for how long I slept, I don't know because I was blacked out when I went to bed, but the Bac seems to slow down the rate I drink at but not the volume so I end up staying up very late. Naltrexone had the same effect. Both of them make the hangovers worse if I drink while on them. I have faith that this will work, but I have to take more Bac and less booze.

[bernard]

Underground movement !

Pete1;683508 wrote: I have to take more Bac and less booze.

NMA: That's the key. 30-40 is not much and you're increasing way slower than necessary. When you get shakes or craving, pop an extra bac or more depending on your experience, and white knuckle for an hour to see if it goes away. Please let us know if you try this and whether it helped.

[Pete1]

Underground movement !

I will stay in touch. I just fear detoxing. I want this to be over.

[Pete1]

Underground movement !

Thanks Zen. Yeah, I know, I just don't like it. No, I won't be taking any time off. I'm busy not getting fired for being a drunk.

I think I'm feeling the Bac start to work. It's hard to explain. I don't exactly want to drink, I just do. I just always drink so I drink. I'm only at 40mg/day. This just might work!

[Pete1]

Underground movement !

Yeah, I have access to a gym for free so that would be a good thing to do. I do most of my heavy drinking at night after my wife goes to bed. There isn't much to do at that time. I should really just get in the habbit of sleeping earlier and getting up earlier.

[Andy R]

Underground movement !

I am on day 5 of rapid Titration - I feel good, - like really strangely very good in a healthy sort of way that hasnt been there for decades...am alcohol free with no effort and am just going to do it whatever it bloody well takes!

[brightlite]

Underground movement !

Andy, that's great! What is your dosage now?

[Pete1]

Underground movement !

Wow Andy, that's awsome.

Thanks for asking Zen, but I'm afraid I'm not doing very well at all. Two nights in a row I got up in a blackout and washed my underwear in the bathroom sink and went back to bed with no pants on. I can't imagine what that's about. There was a concerning mixture of blood and mucus on my pillow. My wife hugged me and cried and said she didn't want me to die. I'm not in a good way. I don't exactly want to die either, but my life is reduced to nothing but suffering. I think the mixture of Bac and AL is terrible. I need to quit drinking for the Bac to work and I need the Bac to work to quit drinking.

[louise]

Underground movement !

Pete, I'm so sorry things aren't going any better. What amount of bac are you up to? Is there any way for you to do a medical detox? What are you drinking? Are you physically dependent where abrupt withdrawal might cause seizures, etc.? I'm sure you have posted all of this somewhere but I don't remember the details, only that so far bac is not helping at all and you are drinking even more. Maybe if you post it again some of us can help you more to get through the detox. It all sounds very scary. Please try to remember you are worth it and life can get better.
P.S.I read back over some of your posts and see you successfully detoxed and were Af for a bit a few weeks ago. What is different this time? How can we help?

[Pete1]

Underground movement !

Thanks Louise. I'm drinking about a fifth every night. That's normal for me, it's just hitting me harder than it used to. I slept until 1:00 yesterday afternoon. Yeah, I'd have a hell of a detox if I stopped abrubtly. Do I have the option of a medical detox? Yes, and my wife and I talked about it on Saturday. It feels cowardly, but i just don't want to- the thought is terrifying.

I'm not taking Bac as much as I should because I'm asleep more than half the time and I forget to take it when I'm drunk. I'm mostly drunk or asleep (passed out). It's hard to belive I still have my job.

[louise]

Underground movement !

Cross posted - so I asked more questions after you posted. Sorry! Can you share what is so terrifying about a medical detox? Have you read Cat 42's posts about a beer tapering? Somehow we have to get you into bed at the same time as your wife so you don't stay up drinking. What time zone are you in?

[Pete1]

Underground movement !

I don't exactly know why I don't want to turn up at a detox facility. I guess it's shame. I realize you shouldn't be ashamed for being sick, but there it is. Plus, whatever this damn disease is, I really, really want to drink even though I know it's ruining my life. They don't let you do that at detox.

I'm on Pacific time and yes it would be great if i just went to bed with my wife at 10:00 except for the fact that I wouldn't sleep and I'd be in detox hell. (this is probably the wrong thread for this discussion)

[louise]

Underground movement !

Brave Hearted;682088 wrote: why is trying to find a sloution to an alchol problem like being a memeber of some under ground movement ??? oh ya !!!! I remember !!!! we are just a bunch oh weak willed fools who have made this a life choice !!!!! so why help us ???? god that attitude makes me mad, who would choose our varying forms of hell that we go through ???, shame some of the researcheres cant come on here and read what we really go through might change a few attitudes. But I digress , waiting for my meds with a hopefull heart and a smile on my face, as i have done for some time truely believed that there must be a chemical solution to our disease. Good luck to all you good people as that is the only positive I can find in having an alcohol problem, over the years I have been privilaged to share great support, empathy and much laughter and tears with the wonderful people in this amazing community .

It seems appropriate to me, considering this quote from BH's thread starter! There are not a lot of people on at night in that time zone, unless you catch the Australian's and the European am posters. I'd offer to chat but I have to be in bed by 9:30 your time. It might be worth putting out a call for help in General, seeing who can be on at the hours you need them and get into chat. I know you can do this - get a 6 (or 12) pack of beer instead of the 1/5th if you absolutely must, get out your vitamins and baclofen (and camphral if forgoing the beer) and start dreaming of all the things you can do sober.

[Pete1]

Underground movement !

Thanks, but I don't see chat doing any good. I'm going to have to drink to prevent detox, but I'll try and go to bed early. And yes, I do dream of everything I could do if I was sober. I HAVE to get there.