Please help with advice w/ topomax

[TakeHeart]

I tried this program 1 1/2 tears ago (this is a slightly amusing typo that I have decided to leave in...I mean years...sigh) and got the supps, cds, and ordered topomax from an online company.

For whatever reason I went back to my alcoholic ways...and I take full responsibility, if you asked me then if I wanted it bad enough I would have said "yes", but obviously not.

Fast forward to today. I am self-employed and because of my drinking habits, I'm pretty much broke. I can't afford to order the supps and meds. Although I do have the cds!

So here's the question...I have...OMG ...I feel SO stupid and am contemplating even posting this....I think this may be bottom....Deep breath..........

I have 2 topo tablets left that are 100mg. I just did almost 2 weeks AF then...the past 10 days have been a progression to same old, same old.

I WANT to be AF and besides the date I am contemplating ( Big pool party w/ friends who will be TOTALLY be partying it up ) which is in just a couple of days.

I want to know if anyone has any advice as to how I should "ration" my last 2 tabs of topo? I think cutting them in half to make 4 doses of 50 mg. However, do I take them in the beginning to get me off to a good start, or should I save them for my crazy weak moments.

For the record...I am SO embarrassed, for still being in this position and for having to "ration" stuff because I can't afford to be a normal person and just go buy it!!

[Arrow]

Please help with advice w/ topomax

The answer is that it probably doesn't matter either way as it takes a couples of weeks of regular use before Topamax will start to have an affect anyway. It's not like taking an aspirin for a headache.

I am 183cm tall and 86Kg and I take two doses of 25mg per day and that works fine with me with hardly any side-effects and a noted reduction in cravings for booze.

It's important to remember that its not a magic bullet and all it will do is help someone who is already committed to stopping drinking by reducing cravings - it works alongside the fact that I am motivating myself with focusing on goals and spent a lot of time to prepare myself before I went AF.

If you can do two weeks AF then you know you can do more; its a mind set. I'm about six weeks AF and finding it very easy with Topamax, I intend to stop it in about six weeks time. I figure that by then my lifestyle will have significantly changed for me to carry on without it.

You can think your way out of this situation and make it out. You have clearly identified that you want to stop drinking so that a big plus, but there's something still resisting in there isn't there? Why not tie the money situation to the drinking issue? Drinking costs money which you could be spending on yourself in more positive ways (and I don't mean on Topamax! but new cloths or running shoes).

So this weekend instead of cutting up those pills and putting your faith in some placebo effect just sit down and think about what you really want in your life. Think about and write down short, medium and long term goals. Consider the role of alcohol in your life and write that down too. Reflect on how well you did going AF for two weeks, recognize that you can do this thing and make a deal with yourself:

I will not drink for five days and every day I will put cash in a jar for the money I would have spent on booze.

It's basically a bet - do you like losing bets?

Good luck mate, just think how much money you are going to save by not drinking.

After five days make another deal and start to include other factors as well like diet and exercise or whatever works for you and your life.

[TakeHeart]

Please help with advice w/ topomax

Thanks Arrow!

Lots to think about. I read your blog and really enjoyed it!

Keep up the good work!!!