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    #1

    The end of my addiction

    Hi just thought I would add my experience with bac....firstly it works ...I m a bit perplexed at Dr A' title of his book " The end of my addiction" maybe his? .....he is right Bac can stop craving but it doesnt finalise the addiction certaintly does not end it!!!!!! Im not saying the title of his book was designed to say that .... I am not trying to rain on the parade but for those serious about giving up the drink....baclofen will assist immensley but it wont 'end your addiction" to alcohol....coping measures such as yoga meditation hypnosis CBT ( I know Dr A says this in his book) even smelling the roses need to be in place. I thought I was serious about ending my addiction and for a month or 2 I was...then COMPLACENCY returned and i started drinking with the same old thoughts ..OH just today its ok youll be right tommorrow same ole same ole drinking thoughts... this is one (excuse my langauge) fucking serious claw hammer addiction....what makes it worse is I believed myself to be a smart savvy individual beyond addiction that was something beyond me ....sadly my life has been defined by it... bac works but it wont end the addiction
    Reg
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    #2
    The end of my addiction

    :l

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      #3
      The end of my addiction

      Thanks TF I know you dont do hugs you are wonderful

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        #4
        The end of my addiction

        ...and so are you Reggie
        Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
        Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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          #5
          The end of my addiction

          Reggie, thank you so much for this post - I share your sentiments wholeheartedly!

          Two things stand out for me.

          The issue of complacency, which I must guard against each and every bloody day. Hence my belief in things like the trust Toolbox Thread, fully engaging with my family and not isolating myself - that leads to drinking thinking etc.

          The second (and more important) is my addiction, and everything that goes with it. Bac helped me stop drinking with fairly little effort. But that was just a start. I have found, as I started titrating down, that my addiction is still there, and I need to address that. I don't reckon its sustainable to stay on such a high dose indefinitely. That is why I've started seeing a psychiatrist to address other parts of my life which contribute to my addiction. I'm lucky to have found one that is understanding and is prepared to work with me, despite the fact that I chose an "unproven" option (i.e. bac).

          When I started drinking, my emotional development stopped. I have such a shitload of learning to do, and working through past events in my life. Only once I've gone through that whole process, can I be free.
          I'll do whatever it takes
          AF 21/08/2009

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            #6
            The end of my addiction

            Hear hear tips:l as TF gave me permission to give you one
            Your the best Tips your thoughts and views on addiction are spot on as usuall
            Reg

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              #7
              The end of my addiction

              Right on, brother's and sister's. There is no magic pill. We have to put in the work, and it takes time. But boy is it worth it!

              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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                #8
                The end of my addiction

                Thanks Mr G you are such an inspiration I want to be you!!!!!! you are so right about how to deal with this addiction ...I dont know about it taking time as a point where its ends..... I think I have crossed the line and it would be folly to think i can go back to pre addiction me.... I have to accept Im am a individual thats addicted to what doesnt matter ... I have to live my life as a individual that is a addict and... NOT ...be ashamed to accept that..... and above all deal with it!!! thats the way things turned out for me
                Reg

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                  #9
                  The end of my addiction

                  Reggie,

                  Your post really resonated with me!! I had gone 90 days sober and was so proud. Then I hit a huge pothole with my hubby. (Really huge, something that made me step back and heart pound and head swirl.)

                  That was enough to set me off drinking again, despite the Baclofen.

                  I ended up in a hospital out of town on a trip on a 72 hour suicide watch. (Dragged off by the police through the hotel lobby, cuffed down into the ambulance. Nurse sitting by my side the entire time I was in the hospital.) It was horrible. The worst living nightmare of my life. That experience was so bad, it set me off for a good long binge. I got out of the hospital and downed a 1.7 L bottle of Vodka in my hotel room.

                  I finally made it home and husband flew out of town for a two week trip. I believe the only waking moments I had were to sober up enough to go back down to the store and get more vodka. I lost two weeks of my life and a lot of dignity.

                  Now. I would absolutely love to blame my husband for my relapse. That would be the easy way out. But the truth is, this alcoholic brain simply did not know how to deal with a serious issue and stress and I reverted back to my old medicine. It did bring about the oblivion I craved. It most certainly did not in anyway enhance, correct, deal with what I was facing.

                  I still had to face the issue when hubby got home.

                  I finally ended my binge by calling my 85 year old parents to come stay with me. I knew I would stop if they came. I did this completely blacked out, of course. They showed up at my house to my complete surprise. OMG. What a drunk I am!!

                  I am sober 11 days now. I am going to AA. (I am not saying people need to use AA to get and stay sober and my AA friends agree, there are many ways to crack this nut.) However, I need that face-to-face, work on it every day, confront my addiction and face it down activities that AA gives me. I am also blessed to have found an AA sponsor who is very matter-of-fact, willing to work with me in whatever venue I need to, and talk with me every day. She doesn't bat an eye when I question the whole Higher Power thing and tell her I think it is useless drivel. That is asking an awful lot of any individual and yet she is there and touches base with me every day. She also has 6 1/2 years of sobriety, so I believe she knows a bit about facing this addiction.

                  Anyway, a long post, I had to share, Reggie and Tip, because I do not want anyone to go through what I just did if it can be avoided. Work on your addiction.

                  I remember in rehab there was a sign over the common room's door that said, "If you are not working on your disease, it is working on you."

                  I finally get it.

                  Love to all my antipodean friends,
                  Cindi
                  AF April 9, 2016

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                    #10
                    The end of my addiction

                    ps I am back on the Baclofen and still believe it is a wonderful aid in staying sober. But, it is no magic bullet. Just a wonderful aid.

                    Love,
                    Cindi
                    AF April 9, 2016

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                      #11
                      The end of my addiction

                      cant sleep.. cindy thanks for youre posts..... people like you that are ready to share such honest personal experiences :lhelp us all.... you are wonderful I tip my hat to you...youre a classy gal
                      Reg

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                        #12
                        The end of my addiction

                        Good for you Cinders...well done hon!

                        great post reg!
                        "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                        AF 10th May 2010
                        NF 12th May 2010

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                          #13
                          The end of my addiction

                          Reg,
                          My thinking has changed. I no longer have the overwhelming desire to get smashed. The thought still appear's now and then, but through time, and a focus on the joy's of life, and living it, this desire has greatly diminished. I'm alway's vigilant, but this vigilance too, for me, is not overwhelming, or a huge focus. Living my life is.

                          Great to see you Cindi! x

                          'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                          Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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                            #14
                            The end of my addiction

                            Just wanted to say I enjoyed reading the posts in this thread. Very positive.

                            Love and Light
                            Phil
                            xx
                            "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                            Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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                              #15
                              The end of my addiction

                              sending you well wishes reggie,
                              The golden opporunity you are seeking is in yourself,it is not in your enviroment,it is not in luck or in change,it is in yourself alone. :-)


                              :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                              Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                              I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                              This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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