My Naltrexone Journey
britelite
Thanks for the nice words. i figure if you cant be honest as an anynonmous forum then damn I have issues..LOL and man the issues I have from booze. The results I had for the last couple weeks for me are simply incredible and if this is as good as it gets I am satisfied. I really feel like I just started drinking physically but mentally I know the hell alcohol can cause.
I could never imagine being abstinent now I can and in the near future I am leaning this way. I am not oquite there yet but WILL be there soon. I didn't destroy myself overnight so I can't fix myself overnight. I figure right before starting TSM I made it 30 somethiong days, so I figure when I am ready to hang up the glass again this time i will be armed with naltrexone and the experience/results I have had so it will be a peice of cake even if I do fall off the wagon.
Another add to the week - On one hand I am happy with my reaction on the other I am fuming with anger but no were near out of control. I am very close with my sister, and became closer after my mother's death. our father passed away in 03. Save for a couple aunts and uncles in their 80's and 70's she is all I have left.
She is going thru a divorce with a WACKO ex husband. Alot of people say they have wacky ex's but her's is the real deal. Violent, death threats that have to be taken seriously, HUGE criminal record of previous spousal abuse and fire arms and drugs...nasty nasty stuff.
She has a restraining order in place however he continues to violate it with phone calls from "other" numbers that the police can do nothing with. On friday my neice told her mother "mommy daddy put his finger in me and wanted me to pee on it". Sorry for being gross it turns my stomach as I write it. She is 4.5. Today my sister is at the police with her daughter.
Without TSM and the frame of mind I was in prior, a few drinks of whiskey and the hunt would have been on for her ex. I would have been like F the law. I could not stand this guy before, gave her holy hell when she married this guy 5 years ago, and now you can only imagine how i feel about him. We had 2 confrontations when they were married over him abusing my sister and destroying her home. It never got physical only because he was a little girl who likes to abuse women behind close doors - you know the type - he backed down with me every time.
Without TSM I would have drank over this hard and been in a blind rage and black-out and lord only knows what could have happened. I have never had ANY criminal charges EVER not even a speeding ticket in my 42 years (knock on wood). This event combined with alcohol could have seriously destroyed my life. I am greatful for TSM that I can sit back take a deep breath - even though that deep breath took almost a day - and be calm as can be expected and remain rational. My anger over this with whiskey involved would have been adding 20 gallons of gas on an open fire. Funny how you can deal with shitty things in life sober.
I know a lot of people would be like kill him and at first that was my intial reaction, and prior to this happeneing that is what I would say about any petaphile. It all changes when happens to your own family. My attitude is let the law handle this, support my sister the best I can - damn and not being a worthless drunk I can GIVE support - and I pray my neice is ok in the long run.
I wasn't going to add this because it makes me sick to think about it - kind of mentally blocking this from my mind - but this was a HUGE event that I know as GOD as my judge I would be WASTED WASTED and in a blind rage for days and possibly have done things to really screw my life up. THANK GOD TSM WORKS FOR ME.
britelite
Thanks for the nice words. i figure if you cant be honest as an anynonmous forum then damn I have issues..LOL and man the issues I have from booze. The results I had for the last couple weeks for me are simply incredible and if this is as good as it gets I am satisfied. I really feel like I just started drinking physically but mentally I know the hell alcohol can cause.
I could never imagine being abstinent now I can and in the near future I am leaning this way. I am not oquite there yet but WILL be there soon. I didn't destroy myself overnight so I can't fix myself overnight. I figure right before starting TSM I made it 30 somethiong days, so I figure when I am ready to hang up the glass again this time i will be armed with naltrexone and the experience/results I have had so it will be a peice of cake even if I do fall off the wagon.
Another add to the week - On one hand I am happy with my reaction on the other I am fuming with anger but no were near out of control. I am very close with my sister, and became closer after my mother's death. our father passed away in 03. Save for a couple aunts and uncles in their 80's and 70's she is all I have left.
She is going thru a divorce with a WACKO ex husband. Alot of people say they have wacky ex's but her's is the real deal. Violent, death threats that have to be taken seriously, HUGE criminal record of previous spousal abuse and fire arms and drugs...nasty nasty stuff.
She has a restraining order in place however he continues to violate it with phone calls from "other" numbers that the police can do nothing with. On friday my neice told her mother "mommy daddy put his finger in me and wanted me to pee on it". Sorry for being gross it turns my stomach as I write it. She is 4.5. Today my sister is at the police with her daughter.
Without TSM and the frame of mind I was in prior, a few drinks of whiskey and the hunt would have been on for her ex. I would have been like F the law. I could not stand this guy before, gave her holy hell when she married this guy 5 years ago, and now you can only imagine how i feel about him. We had 2 confrontations when they were married over him abusing my sister and destroying her home. It never got physical only because he was a little girl who likes to abuse women behind close doors - you know the type - he backed down with me every time.
Without TSM I would have drank over this hard and been in a blind rage and black-out and lord only knows what could have happened. I have never had ANY criminal charges EVER not even a speeding ticket in my 42 years (knock on wood). This event combined with alcohol could have seriously destroyed my life. I am greatful for TSM that I can sit back take a deep breath - even though that deep breath took almost a day - and be calm as can be expected and remain rational. My anger over this with whiskey involved would have been adding 20 gallons of gas on an open fire. Funny how you can deal with shitty things in life sober.
I know a lot of people would be like kill him and at first that was my intial reaction, and prior to this happeneing that is what I would say about any petaphile. It all changes when happens to your own family. My attitude is let the law handle this, support my sister the best I can - damn and not being a worthless drunk I can GIVE support - and I pray my neice is ok in the long run.
I wasn't going to add this because it makes me sick to think about it - kind of mentally blocking this from my mind - but this was a HUGE event that I know as GOD as my judge I would be WASTED WASTED and in a blind rage for days and possibly have done things to really screw my life up. THANK GOD TSM WORKS FOR ME.
yes crown86 thats what i was :H about.
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