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**hopefulspirit** · January 21, 2010, 05:25 PM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

Hey...
Congrats on getting the Naltrexone. From another mom, trust me.. it does get worse. My kids sound older and they do not go to bed early enough for me to wait. I'm ashamed of what they've seen! This whole thing is much harder to manage when you have older kids. Not to mention the bad example it sets.
Good luck and keep us posted.
H.S.

**DisEase** · January 21, 2010, 07:01 PM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

H.S. Thanks for your comments. Hearing those things are a stong reminder of the hell I may be avoiding by dealing with this now. I really wonder what my life would be like if I did not have these wonderful children. They are the main reason I am crawling out of the bottle (that and fact that I still have a little common sense going for me - I can see the abusive drinking train ride is not going to any other way than a train wreck!). They are the reason I have not already drowned in Al, to be sure. They inspire me to do more than I think I am capable of (or would try to do) without them. Being AF or a responsible drinker was never on the radar before I had them. And if I did not need to get up at 7am every morning to get them ready and delivered to school, I know I would be drinking every night with hubby (we are such good drinkers together - always have been), until I pass out. Before I had them I had a sweet deal going at work in that I did not get there until 10:00. The reason is cuz hubby and I would drink late into the night and there was no way I could have made it to the office sober by 8am. So I told my boss I would be in every day after "commuter lane" open. It did cut my drive time down by a half, but I did it cuz I would never put the drink down at a reasonable time at night. Would still be drinking that way if I did not have walk the kids to class and talk to the principle/fellow parents every AM. I will say it again though, I know if I keep toying with this disease called alcoholism without help/fighting to find an alternative way to drink, that my path is doomed. And it will get worse and worse and worse. How old are your kids? Mine are 4 and almost 7.

**scot98** · January 22, 2010, 03:08 PM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

Hi DisEase, this is my first post on here and good to hear of somebody else starting Nal today. I just took half a tab 25mg and feeling slightly nauseous and a bit spaced out but neither that bad, at least not yet! Even managed to eat dinner though I kind of shoved it down :H
Drinking red wine, 14 % as I type and I would say 2 bottles a night is my quota though I do try and limit to a bottle and a half on work nights, doesn't always work like that though!

Well done on being aware of your problem at an earlier stage than many, you are right it does get worse. It's such an insidious disease, I only worked out two years ago that I was completely hooked, I used to convince myself it was just a bad habit, oh how wrong was I !
What started as a bottle years ago is now 2 a night and it's screwing my life up slowly and surely.
I have tried stopping on many occasions but relapses were always the end result, even after months of sobriety, and when I least expected it.

It's great that you have the motivation to try and deal with your problem now and have the insight of where you are, I wish I had that insight many years ago.

Best of luck with the Nal, do you have Dr Eskapa's book? It's definetely worth reading.

Best wishes to you

**DisEase** · January 23, 2010, 01:56 AM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

Scot98 - so excited we are starting together! I took 25 mg 4 hours ago. No side effects so far though I feel like I am drinking like usual. I know, I know, I should not expect change over night but lets be honest, I WAS HOPING! I met a gf 3 hours ago at our hairdressers. Had 2 glasses of wine (gotta love a salon that serves wine - oh wait, maybe I need to change hairdressers?????). That's about what I usually have there as she always drives. Then we meet a friend across the street for dinner and drinks. I had 2 glasses of wine there, which is what I would normally have. But looking back, I now realize I was not focused on my drinking hardly at all. I drank the same, but normally I am counting how much they are drinking, compared to what I am drinking, so I am not drinking more. I'm trying not to drink mine too fast, going back and forth in my head as to when, and if, I should order the next one. It can be all consuming when I am out with friends. Hmmmm, I guess something WAS different tonight. And I did pour a drink when I got home and it is just sitting there right now. Honestly, I can take it or leave it. Weird, the compulsion I normally have to drink drink drink once I have started, seems...oddly absent tonight. I did drink it once I realized I wasn't drinking it (ha ha, such an alcoholic!) but it is not calling to me like it normally does. Well, call is not the right word, "forcing it's way down my throat long after I have a good buzz and no longer need any more drinks" is more like it.

Every Saturday for a year the kids and I have gone out for donuts in the am to reward them for all their hard work each week. It is our tradition. But what they don't know (yet unless I knock this off) is that we go to donuts on Sat because every Friday night I reward myself with (too many) drinks because I can't do that some nights during the week because of the kids school schedule. But Sat, when I am still buzzed from drinking the night before and am unable to probably legally drive or make my kids breakfast, well we just head over to the donut shop near our house. I even purposely wear nice sweats to bed on Friday night just in case the thought of showering and dressing sat am with a hurting my head (which is typical) is impossible.
I am tired now and not very interested in my wine. Well, maybe one more and then to bed. Weird, normally I tell myself JUST one more and then to bed - which never happens, it is always 3 more. Tonight I am kinda talking myself into it cuz I have been looking forward to drinks since Tues! It definitely feels different drinking tonight.

**scot98** · January 23, 2010, 07:03 AM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

Hey that is a great start, kind of similar to what I experienced last night! It took me over 3 hours to finish the first bottle which is unheard off, it's normally gone within the hour.
I did open a second bottle and had one more glass but struggled with it to be honest. Like yourself opening another bottle intending to have one glass NEVER happened not matter what my intentions were.I was still a little drunk but my mind felt clearer rather than that drunken forgetfulness etc

Sleeping last night was a bit strange, took me a little while to nod off and all night it felt like part of my brain was active even though I was asleep, it's difficult to describe in words.
Woke up feeling relaxed rather than despairing, tense and anxious which is normal after a heavy evening.

This is a long process and I am aware it's not always a gradual decline but I am sticking with it. I for one are feeling way more positive than I did a couple of days ago, let's hope and pray we get the result we so want.

You never know you may soon be driving the kids to a donut place on a friday evening without having the thought of drinking wine instead, your kids will love it!

best wishes

**Chocolate Mousse** · January 23, 2010, 08:40 AM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

New to Nal also

Hi newbies, I have been posting on a different thread but wanted to join in here... I am on my third day with the Nal. I have on Bac for two weeks and I really am unsure about continuing the Bac as I would like to give the Nal a real go! today i have felt great as in the last two nights with taking Nal I have only drank what a normal person would drink and boy it felt good. I would like to continue with the Nal and am thinking about giving up on the Bac for now because if this Nal is going to work it will make no difference if I am taking another drug. as it says 80% success heres hoping to us all

**eight days a week** · January 23, 2010, 09:40 AM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

Welcome Ease (I'm going to call you that because that's the aim, eh?!) and also a big hi and welcome to hopefulspirit and scot, really nice to meet you guys here :welcome:

I've been on Nal under TSM for five and a half months, and while I haven't been 'cured' it's definitely had a huge effect on the attraction of alcohol for me.

DisEase;793918 wrote: I like the feeling a drink gives me in a way a non al can never understand. And I never ever have just one drink. I only drink on nights when I know I can have 5! Cuz I can't stop once I start. I should of recognized the problem years ago because I never understood how (or WHY!) anyone would have just 1 drink. What fun is there in that? I drink to get drunk!!!! Or should I say I get drunk every time I drink? That is the problem right there. One drink is a waste of calories, but 10 and I am in my happy place - for awhile.

Oh how I relate to this! Everything summed up in one clear paragraph!!

Mousse mentions 80%, but that's around the figure quoted in the book I think. Those clinical trials would have excluded quite a few kinds of people that some of us may be in real life. For example, I have a racing heart and irregular heartbeat, and also a clinical diagnosis of Panic Disorder (I get panic attacks) and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, so I would have been excluded from the trials. Even though Nal's worked on my endorphin enjoyment of alcohol, if I feel my heart go crazy, or I have a panic attack, or high anxiety, I know that booze helps like nothing else, so I will still drink too much, even though I don't get that enjoyable endorphin rush anymore.

The book's well worth reading but from the many real life examples I've heard, the cure takes longer and the real-life percentages don't quite match the 80%.

Having said that, I know of a LOT of people that Nal has either helped or 'cured' - this is definitely a powerful medicine that has a great effect for a lot of people!

And, even better news, I've never heard of anyone who experienced initial reactions or side effects to taking Nal that didn't have success with it, so be positive, be very patient, and fingers crossed Nal will work for you like it has for so many others

**scot98** · January 23, 2010, 01:00 PM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

Hi Eight days and chocolate Mousse, great to hear from you both and thanks for the welcome.:thanks:
I have just taken my second 25mg an hour ago and started the wine right now, hope it has the same effect as last night. I was going to take 50mg but realised that it makes more sense taking the other half from last night and move onto 50 mg tomorrow.

I will just see where Naltrexone takes me, I have a substance abuse Psychiatric nurse involved as my GP thought it would help with some support. She is great and her support will maybe be helpful though she is asking me to sign a form saying I am taking a prescribed medicine at my own risk which is understandable.

8 days, have you noticed a great reduction in your consumption since starting TSM?

**eight days a week** · January 23, 2010, 01:38 PM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

There's certainly no rush in upping your dose scot, I'd say give it a couple of days at the lower dose just to get used to it - after all you're following a protocol that will probably take six months plus, so a day or two here and there will make no difference!

My 'honeymoon' on Nal lasted only a couple of days. After that I started to drink just as before. Don't be disheartened if this happens, you've already had a good sign that Nal works on you, now all you need is patience

Out of interest, are you being prescribed Nal on the NHS? If so, you're only the second person ever I've heard of who is!

Unfortunately my drinking hasn't reduced on TSM. In fact, you may well see your drinking increase at certain points, as your brain tries harder and harder to reach the 'buzz' that it used to get. It's like when your TV remote control batteries have been dying for a while. For weeks maybe, you've had to press a button quite a few times for it to work. Eventually the batteries are completely dead, but you'll no doubt try pressing the button many, many times before you finally accept that they've gone completely. It takes time for your neural pathways to learn that however much you drink, you will never get that buzz back. In TV controller terms, you're never going to change the batteries (you're always going to take Nal when you drink) so what's the point in pushing the buttons anymore - they're never going to work?!!

I've posted my full story elsewhere, but basically while TSM seems to have ended the endorphin rush of drink for me (and so on the promised level it has worked) I have an anxiety problem, and an over-fast heartbeat, and drink still helps with that. So, I no longer get the thrill from drinking, but it still works to calm me down, so I continue to drink. That's why I've recently added Baclofen into the mix.

Still full of great hope though

8

**DisEase** · January 23, 2010, 02:00 PM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

Oh my new Nal Friends! So glad to literally be walking this path with you. I can't believe I woke up with a clear head! It is almost as if I did not drink at all last night, that kind of clear head. And that is something I am not use to after a drinking night as I never stop when enough is enough (enough is when there is no more wine in the house!). WOW is all I can say. So regardless of how Nal works for me tonight or in the future, I was given the gift of this morning. And around here, a sober morning is truly a gift. Not only to me, but the kids.

Got up at 6:30 to let the puppy out to potty without feeling like crap and resenting her! And then instead of crawling back into bed hoping my hangover will be gone by the time the kids wake up, I made a pot of coffee and decided to take the pup for a walk. It was 7am and I was amazed that I could have held a sober conversation with any of the neighbors if I had run into them. And even though I wore my sunglasses, I DID NOT HAVE TO, if you know what I mean!!!!. I had almost 2 hours to myself, alert and feeling good and really hopeful about my drinking. That is priceless my friends. Al can't take this AM away from me. Ever. And it was wonderful.

So nice to be up and clear eyed before my babies. To be clear eyed FOR my babies. This is how I feel when I have AF days, so to feel this way when I drank last night, it is kind of mind boggling. I realize I did drink significantly less (and I was trying to drink) last night. At the salon and at the bar I had 4 glasses of wine but they were,"sissy drinks", meaning they don't feel the glass to the rim like I do at home: )

I will do 25mg again tonight. Kinda bummed I did not feel any side effects as it appears to be a good indicator of seeing positive results on this med. Oh well, as I said earlier, Nal bought me today and for that I am thankful. Gonna go play with my pumpkins now!!!! Thanks for having these conversations with me. I think it will help keep us engaged, and hopeful, keep us informed and well?accountable. Accountable is good because I lost the ability to be accountable to myself along time ago. Man I can write a lot, huh!

**eight days a week** · January 23, 2010, 02:05 PM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

What a wonderful start Ease!

DisEase;794957 wrote: ...Kinda bummed I did not feel any side effects as it appears to be a good indicator of seeing positive results on this med...

You felt an effect on you and your drinking, that's at least as good a sign as any 'side' effect in my book - it's the main one!!

**scot98** · January 24, 2010, 12:42 PM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

Hi all, Well my second night was again quite strange, the first glass I poured lasted me 2 hours! To be honest I really struggled with drinking the bottle, it was also not very enjoyable.
Side effects weren't bad, same as night before, I took 25 mg again and felt a bit nauseous, woke up feeling pretty good until I noticed the dog had pooed all over my sitting room carpet! Not a great start to the day.

I have taken 50 mg tonight and just about to have a glass.

Eight days, No I bought the Nal online, I did go and see my GP but he hadn't even heard of Naltrexone. There is a Psychiatrist in Edinburgh using it with some of his patients with apparantly mixed results, I think compliance was the biggest problem.

DisEase, Hope things are still going well for you

**DisEase** · January 24, 2010, 07:01 PM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

My 2nd night on Nal was pretty similar to yours scot98. I was struggling to drink my wine and really could have taken it or have left it because the buzz is different/almost non-existent, so it seems, what's the point? That is what I kept thinking as my hubby and our friends kept emptying their glasses and pouring more. Mine sat in front of me for 2x as long as theirs, and I actually poured part of 2 of my glasses of wine out because they sat there so long, the wine got warm!!! This is funny for 2 reasons, never ever does my wine last so long it gets warm. And 2, even if it had, in the past I know I would have just slammed it on the way to fridge to get the cold bottle to refill my glass.

I woke up again with a clear head. My friend and I opened to bottles (the little ones that my hubby calls "airline size" but there not, they are normal old winery size) and there was 1/2 bottle left this morning. Last Sat I would have polished that off on my way to the bedroom to brush my teeth, whether or not I needed it, so pretty amazing the wine survived the night. I really had no desire last night. I could have been drinking water.

Met some friends for brunch today. I took 25mg an hour before getting there and could not even finish the ONE mimosa I ordered. It was that weird time warp thing again where all of the sudden they were all ordering drinks and mine was sitting in front of me 3/4s full. And not cause I was trying to pace myself or anything, my drink was just not on my mind.

Worried about going to 50mg. It seems to be working at 25mg. Since I have not read the book, does everyone go up the 50 mg because we all have the same number of neural pathways? It seems odd to me that my hubby, who is roughly twice my weight, would take the same dosage as I do. It just seems counter intuitive - but again, I have not read the book so maybe the 50mg is the sweet spot? Maybe everyone starts at the 25mg level to help the people who have really bad side effects to Nal ease into the medication, or something? If you know, or have any thoughts on this, I would love to hear from you!

**Chocolate Mousse** · January 25, 2010, 09:32 AM

Nal is here! Newbies Unite ( U SAHMs)

The Joy of Nal!!

New here to the Nal also. I had started on Bac was on it for about two weeks but I have stopped and am concentrating my efforts solely on the Nal now. I wanted to just to one at a time. I started on 25mg for the first two sessions no problem with side effects at all. then went up to 50mg again no problem. I am now on about my fifth sesssion of Nal and have just had a great weekend in that I drank just over two bottles of wine between friday, saturday and sunday. before I could easily have done this in one day! Will keep posting here also as I have had a thread with my baclofen journey but as I am not going ahead for the time being anyway with that I shall join all you lovely folk here.

love and good wishes to us all on this journey xxx

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