eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

[eight days a week]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

craving;818354 wrote: 8 - how did your last days go? You are doing well?

Thank you for asking my friend

Since I last posted, my AL consumption has been up a bit, between 11-14 UK units per day.

I'm not sure exactly why this is, but a lot of it has to do with anxiety, which has been much worse this last week. Of course, AL itself can raise anxiety, but this is to do with my clinical diagnosis of Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), which is a completely different and separate issue. I was abstinent last year for five months and my GAD still continued at horrific levels.

That's the reason I take diazepam, and also the reason why I drink / will drink a bit more.

I've been cutting down my diazepam use, 1) because it's a horrible, addictive drug and I hate the side effects, and 2) because it's been proposed that benzos may hamper extinction of alcohol addiction through Naltrexone under TSM (which I still follow).

So, even as my alcohol use and anxiety (due to GAD) have been higher, I've managed to cut down my diazepam to mostly 6mg or 7mg a day.

It's a bit of a see-saw between the diazepam and the AL. I drink a bit more, I can take a bit less diazepam. But, reducing the diazepam is at least eliminating one of the problems.

I'm up to 70mg of Bac a day. I need to go higher, maybe much higher, so from tomorrow I will increase to 75 or 80mg and take it from there. Hopefully at some point an anti-anxiety effect will kick in.

Regarding video games, yes they certainly are addictive! I have a generally addictive nature and a touch, I believe, of OCD. In the past I've been addicted to video games, the internet, and online shopping, all of which appeal to both those sides of my character.

The funny thing is, TSM seems to have cured my addiction to video games, even if it hasn't worked on the alcohol (yet?)! :H

I don't play them instead of going out (although I may have done in the past). I'm often house-bound due to GAD, and only ever play them in the evenings when I wouldn't be going anywhere anyway (I think I explained this earlier). The alternative would be watching TV, or most probably using the internet.

hanging, I do sympathise about your son. Video games are all the rage now with youngsters (how old do I sound?! :H) especially with online play. I think there's peer pressure among young lads to play and have the latest games, and to be online, and competition to be the 'coolest one' with the latest games or the best scores. I think a lot of kids today are missing out on outside life, physical activities, and learning about the real world and real people through spending time on the internet and video games, which is very sad. In fact, even though I love both myself, I think there's a social and health 'ticking bomb' right there.

I'm just glad they weren't there when I was growing up, at least not to the same extent.

That reminds me a little of Monty Python's Four Yorkshiremen sketch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FatHLHG2uGY[/video]]YouTube - Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen (40 years ago)

Quote:

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Ch?teau de Chasselas, eh?

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
A cup o' cold tea.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Without milk or sugar.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Or tea.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In a cracked cup, an' all.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.#

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

Best wishes to all

eight

[Lo0p]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

eight days a week;819007 wrote: FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.#

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

That's how I take my coffee these days, since I only get a morning paper about once a week now... :upset:

[Mettaphorica]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

Hi 8
Hope you are doing well. Recently I had 10 months a/c free. The anxiety didn't start to dissipate until after about 6 months, then it started to shift a little. By 10 months, it improved a bit more (but not gone).I'm told it can take quite some months for the system and brain to reset itself, esp after very heavy drinking for a long time (which I was doing, and which you were doing). Just thought to let you know, if it helps.
cheers
Metta

[eight days a week]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

Thank you for your thoughts and a very good point Mettaphorica, which may well apply to many. It takes the brain a long long time to properly re-balance after periods of heavy drinking. I was abstinent for five months last year, and felt my brain re-balancing suddenly and dramatically after about four. But, the anxiety and the panic attacks never left me, and my diagnosis (GAD, which is very different from anxiety brought on by drinking) was re-confirmed. I've had this since before my heavy drinking, it was only formally diagnosed when I got my other problems looked at (typical guy, I guess...I let something bother me for years, and never saw the doc about it until it got critical!)

I've also suffered from this all my life, ever since I was a boy. I really relate to Dr Ameisen's comments about a lifelong nagging anxiety, panic, and what he terms 'dysphoria'. You're quite right that if I had a substantial period of sobriety behind me things would improve, but there's definitely an underlying problem there (exacerbated by PTSD, which also needs dealing with, and which I won't be going into on the board here).

Lo0p;819032 wrote: That's how I take my coffee these days, since I only get a morning paper about once a week now... :upset:

A morning paper...once a week?!! When I were a boy we were so poor the only way to get the news were to wander about in the streets looking for a parked car with the radio on and listen outside. And if Dad wanted to read the news at home, I used to have to go up the shop and copy out the headlines for him. On leaves I found in the road. With a stick! Written with mud from the soles of my feet (we couldn't afford shoes in them days)!

Bah, the young of today!!

[eight days a week]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

well, last week wasn't good at all.

My GAD was horrendous, and I also got quite depressed about various things that happened, which resulted in me drinking from lunchtime onwards most days, and between 14 and 16 UK units. My diazepam also went up to 8mg a day again, and I felt like I needed more

I managed to get back on track at the weekend. First 12 UK units, the next day 10, and yesterday I managed just over 9. This is a record for me, but I'm still quite depressed.

I can't seem to go higher on the Bac than 70mg per day, it just leaves me so sleepy and woozy at that level, still. And a huge part of reducing my anxiety and depression I think is not to be stuck at home, and to get out and about as much as I can, when I can.

I've been at 70mg for ages now, I'm a bit worried (well, more concerned I guess) it still affects me so...

So, drinking-wise a better last few days, but overall a mixed report from this little part of England. I suppose though Yazz was right, 'the only way is up'.

Best wishes to all

eight

[hangingon]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

Hey Eight,
So glad to see you posting again, this is where you need to come when you have bad days so we can support you. Hang in there!
hanging

[Virgil]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

eight days a week;823199 wrote: well, last week wasn't good at all.

My GAD was horrendous, and I also got quite depressed about various things that happened, which resulted in me drinking from lunchtime onwards most days, and between 14 and 16 UK units. My diazepam also went up to 8mg a day again, and I felt like I needed more

Hi 8,

You and I seem to be in the same boat.

On top of the GAD, I also have OCD, as you know. And bouts of depression just recently.

I have no words of wisdom but just wanted to let you know that I have a pretty good idea what you're going through.

All the very best.

V.

[eight days a week]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

Thank you so much for the support guys

hanging - you're absolutely right, it would help to post, but I've been a bit 'down' on the internet for some reason and having been using it much. I have no idea why...

V - thank you for your empathy. Is there any combination worse than GAD and depression? (I'm sure there must be, but I desperately hope never to come across it).

Yesterday was fairly typical; 8mg diazepam, 70mg Bac, 12 UK units alcohol. It'd be nice to hit 10 units again today/tonight.

I'm still keeping up with the Nal on TSM, and will do until I've had a period on it when I'm not taking diazepam daily (it's been speculated that benzo use may hamper the process). I still don't like drink anymore, and I think Nal is probably responsible for that. Unfortunately, gin and tonics (with a lot of tonic) taste like soft drinks, and the alcohol still 'works' for my anxiety. If I were to have a shot of spirits I'm sure the taste would make me sick, so something has definitely worked, just not enough (yet?)

Hope everyone has a good day

eight

[hoping4better]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

Hi 8, hang in there. You are definitely making progress, despite some hills and valleys along the way. Just wondering, has your dr. ever explored any anti-depressants for your anxiety? I know some are supposed to help with both depression and anxiety -- Pristiqe comes to mind but I'm not sure. In any case, keep writing -- I like your posts and I just love your English accent. I can hear it even in your written words!

[eight days a week]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

hoping4better;823959 wrote: Hi 8, hang in there. You are definitely making progress, despite some hills and valleys along the way. Just wondering, has your dr. ever explored any anti-depressants for your anxiety? I know some are supposed to help with both depression and anxiety -- Pristiqe comes to mind but I'm not sure. In any case, keep writing -- I like your posts and I just love your English accent. I can hear it even in your written words!

Thanks so much for the encouragement, hoping

I've tried anti-depressants twice, and both times had the most horrendous side effects. They did work for my anxiety and depression - but at the time my anxiety hadn't developed into full-blown GAD, and I was clinically depressed. I'm not now. Sometimes I feel very low, but I think that's natural, given my situation. I know what real depression is, and I haven't (thank goodness) been there for quite some time.

Because of the side effects (and also because I want to get my brain 'straight' - at least as far as it possibly can be! - I won't try SSRIs again). I'll just stick with the propanalol (which I also need for my heart), the Bac, and the Nal, and try to cut down more on the diazepam (horrible stuff it is).

Thank you also for the kind words about my accent, you are a diamond, really cheered me up (and I needed that tonight)

eight

[hoping4better]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

Anytime, 8! For the record, I don't really like SSRIs, either....but Effexor did come to my rescue after the birth of my triplets 12 yrs ago. I had really bad post-partum depression, and literally felt I would be in "jail" for 18 yrs after my kids were born. Well, I'm still in jail but not upset about it anymore. Except for the fact they are about to turn 13 and starting to act like it, so I may need to turn to an SSRI again! (j/k, I can take away computer and cell phones now, which is kinda like Effexor, lol). Keep posting, we are all interested in your story and how you come along (is that a British phrase?)

[eight days a week]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

Thank you again, hoping

I'm not sure if 'come along' is originally British but we sure know what it means here, and I can't wait to do just that! There's a wonderful person inside this (presently) encumbered gentleman, who is just waiting to break out and give so much to this beautiful World that we live in (but just can't see right now).

:thanks:

[craving]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

eight days a week;824362 wrote: There's a wonderful person inside this (presently) encumbered gentleman, who is just waiting to break out and give so much to this beautiful World that we live in (but just can't see right now).

this is a wonderful thinking 8 - stick with it !!!

[eight days a week]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

craving;824648 wrote: this is a wonderful thinking 8 - stick with it !!!

Thank you very much indeed my friend

A dear person from here chose to share a rather wonderful song with me because of that line you quoted. I know the hits from this band, they're still played on our local radio station a lot, and I quite like most of them, but I never realised they made something so nice as this. A disclaimer, there is a very slight bit of naughtiness (imho!) in the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeCAkrg4fNE[/video]]YouTube - The Lighthouse Family - (I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be) Free / One

Report to follow...

[eight days a week]

eight days' intro and Bac and Nal (Sinclair Method) progress

I haven't written here because I was pretty down for a while, under a very deep and thick blanket, and also for one other reason which I'll write a little bit about under 'Nal' in a second post. But my pattern since I last posted's been (per day):

Alcohol: around 12~13 UK units
Diazepam: 6~8mg (with a low of 5 )
Baclofen: 70~80mg
Naltrexone: 50mg, usually at least one hour or more before drinking anything alcoholic, always

Alcohol

I've completely gone off the stuff. Before Christmas, I had already long lost the rush and pleasure that I used to feel from it due to Naltrexone under TSM. But, that was not enough to stop me drinking, as it still served a purpose in calming my huge anxiety (due to GAD). Since going up past 70mg Baclofen a day I've seen a further disinterest in alcohol extra to this. I now feel no more attracted to alcohol than any other drink - in fact, anxiety aside, I'd much much rather have a cup of tea or a lovely glass of water. This is remarkable for me.

I cannot stomach my favourite tipple of yore anymore - lager. Given the choice between lager and nothing I'd probably struggle through two lagers (4 UK units) and then hit the water. Unfortunately I've found mixed spirits, which taste like soft drinks. If anyone knows a tropical island paradise (I'm well overdue a holiday) where they have only lager I'd love to know of it!

I still drink, therefore, and much more than I'd like. I put this down to: 1) anxiety, 2) habit, and 3) boredom (in that order).

Diazepam

After over six months at up to 14mg a day (for anxiety - see the common theme here?!) I'm now down to a maximum of 8mg a day. In the last few weeks I've managed quite a few days on 7mg, a couple on 6mg, and the day before yesterday saw a record since August last year of 5mg. I don't know why this is. It may just be that coming down slowly enables me to push even further down, but I've got a strong feeling that going from 70mg of Bac a day to 80 has changed me somehow, as it's been effortless...more on that in a minute.

Baclofen

First, the bad news. I've had a very difficult time trying to increase past 70mg a day. I'd been on that dose for a while, but the side effects (feeling trancey and a bit disconnected from reality - not in an unpleasant way, but in a makes-normal-life-a-bit-of-a-struggle-and-sometimes-not-very-practical way) still persist. My memory's been unusually poor for me, which I associate with 'the trance'. I've had to go up on dose very very slowly indeed. The positive way to look at this is that Bac must be a very powerful medicine indeed for me, and I feel I may hit my switch at a lower dose than others.

The other bad news is that, while it helped me at lower doses to sleep longer, more deeply, and more soundly than I ever have done (I've always been a troubled sleeper, which I associate with my anxiety), at 70mg+ I've started having very strange and disturbing dreams night after night. After waking from these 'nightmares' (I still feel rather relaxed and they don't scare me as much as they probably should!) I usually drift back off to sleep without any problem - this is not something I ever remember doing in any of my adult life. An example of these strange dreams? Oh so many! Last night just one part of one of them was blowing my nose and my brain fell out! I popped it in a handy petri dish (just like one you'd have lying around, right?!) and went off to see the doc, who kindly informed me that the brain was a fake rubber one and someone had played a trick on me. Not much consolation when I'd thought for a good ten minutes (of dreamtime) that I'd lost my brain!!!

So, now I need to keep at 80mg a day for a little while, but definitely not/u> take so much so close to sleeping (I'd been taking my last 5 or 10mg just before dozing off so I could fit it in).

The good news! I've seen a huge additional loss of interest in alcohol further to that previously experienced on just Nal following TSM (the complication being - is this just TSM kicking in much later than Dr Eskapa's book suggests it should?). I feel more relaxed. In a more subtle, less intrusive, unpleasant, and 'chemical' way than on diazepam. I feel suddenly like I'm getting a similar benefit to anti-depressants, but without all the horrendous side effects I had, and which mean the docs will never put me on them again. Something seems to have 'come alive' within my brain, and I'm liking it a lot I hope (and dearly pray) that this continues, and that it's not placebo, or just the Spring breaking and cheering me up as it always does. Much as that is welcome (so welcome) I really think something is going on with this medicine for me. If this continues...oh I don't dare to dream that much, or do I?

Drinking-wise I often have much less than I thought I would when I started, even the nights when I felt like drowning my sorrows. After five or six drinks (2 UK units each)...I just lose interest. This was similar under Nal alone, and again I wonder if I just needed to give TSM more time for it to work as Dr Eskapa promised it would for almost 80% (and again I've seen nothing like that success rate in the real world).

Since starting the Bac though there've been a number of times I measured out my spirits, filled my glass with mixer, and then forgot to put the spirits in, and barely noticed the difference :H Now, if only I could find a beautiful, loving, and understanding lady to distract me, mix my drinks, and also at times forget to put the AL in I'd both be in heaven and probably drinking far less already :h

Football's about to start, and I have a gorgeous Thai prawn stir-fry to prepare, and a gin and tonic to mix, so the Nal report will come later.

Thank you for letting me ramble my friends, and thanks so much to this site. As I often write, I do so hope my story will one day help others. In the meantime, if nothing else, being able to post here helps me a great deal.

Very best wishes to all,

eight