I've been lurking and asking questions for a while, both here and on the TSM site. I've really appreciated your stories, openness, advice, and heart. I'm starting my own thread to log my progress. Please feel free to jump in. Hope I'm doing this okay -- It seems protocol is just start one's own. If I should be doing this somewhere else, please let me know and I'll move it. Hope I'm not stepping on any toes.
I've just finished Dr. Eskapa's book, just received my NAL by mail, and just begun TSM.
I've been drinking since I was 18. I am 38. I don't remember ever moderately drinking -- If I have one, I'm having all of them. I'm smart and tough, so I've been able to cover some of the wreckage. Drinking has colored my school, work, and relationships. I have never had a "rock bottom." Not sure why -- Likely has to do with my genetics, terrific family, and very patient husband. Have been to AA because of a DUI (had to attend a number of meetings for the offense) and liked the community but felt that if I was going to obsess about drinking, I might as well drink. (Hoping I don't offend any AA folks -- to each his or her own, and my experience there was VERY limited and naive.)
My pattern: Evening drinker. Will create celebratory or other situations to drink. I drink 1 1/2-2 bottles of wine about 4 days a week and complain about insomnia the other 3. Have been on and off -pam sleep meds so that I can sleep when I don't drink. How cosmopolitan of me.
Last night was my first NAL experience. I took 25 mg at 6 pm, waited an hour, then commenced my usual behavior, I thought.
I am SHOCKED. Last night, I was almost indifferent to alcohol compared to my usual behavior, and with no effort on my part. Total for night, out: 3 glasses. Total once home: 1 glass. Total, total: 4 glasses. THERE IS AN ALMOST FULL BOTTLE OF WINE UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW. My husband, who usually watches me "lap" him, was drunker than I as we cabbed it home. He kept remarking that I was more interested in texting my friends than drinking, which is ridiculously amazing if you know me.
Went to bed with my husband instead of staying up to mess around on the computer (i.e., drink more) and slept through the night (used to think insomnia was a cause of drinking). It's 6:50 a.m. where I am, and I am not hung over -- instead, awake, alive, and sitting here thinking I might go for a walk.
Holy cow.
I know that there is a honeymoon period on NAL. I know that there will be work. I am just thrilled to have hope. I feel like I might get to have a life again.
Hi!
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