My NAL Trip
CM, Brightlite, Hanging and DisEase, thank you so much for your insights. Everyone's patterns are so different.... I hope that those of us who are down and not seeing much progress will keep with it. Between Nal and Bac and our own evolving systems of moderating/abstaining, there is going to be a key for each of us that unlocks this prison. Don't give up! And keep up the self-care -- things like exercise, naps, healthy food tell our bodies that we're not going to let them get sicker and sicker without a fight.
DisEase, my experience so far with Nal has been very like yours. Here's my update for Week 5 of TSM:
I've been thinking that my original calculation of pre-TSM units/week may have been a bit high because I was still figuring out how to calculate units the "right" way (finally gave up and just went with one glass of wine/one beer/one shot (alone or in a drink) = one unit). My usual poison is wine, and I think there are about five glasses (my pours) in a bottle. So I think I should recalculate my pre-TSM units/week at 40-55 rather than 50-70. This isn't the way everyone's calculating, but (other than my original pre-TSM calculation) you should be able to see trends in my numbers regardless as I am keeping my own "unit" pretty consistent. I thought I should make this note about my pre-TSM adjustment as it makes my progress look less dramatic (don't want to mislead anyone or give false hope).
Pre-TSM: 40-55 units/week (NOT standard TSM calculation, see above), 0-4 AF
Week 1: about 20 units, 2 AF (definitely honeymoon)
Week 2: about 30 units, 4 AF
Week 3: 38 units, 2 AF
Week 4: 23 units, 4 AF
Week 5: 28 units, 4 AF
A few notes:
-- My units seem to be staying pretty low (compared to pre-TSM). Week 1 was definitely the honeymoon, and Week 3 was a spike. It's now Week 6. I've yet to go back to pre-TSM levels or above. I'm still drinking quite a bit in each session -- Note that there are sometimes 4 AF days in a week, so the Nal + Al days are contributing lots of units each.
-- I can barely drink red wine anymore. It used to be my drink of choice. It tastes pretty bad now, and I have to choke it down when I choose it. I've found myself drinking white wine and vodka/cran.
-- Craving: Seems more "habit" now (e.g., looking forward to wine with dinner) than overwhelming desire. It will take a while to understand what's what, I'm sure.
-- Definitely still having way more control when I drink. Remembering most or all of my evenings, drinking each drink slower. My husband frequently "laps" me now when we are out for drinks, which was unheard of before. (He is not an alcoholic and usually stops drinking on a given evening long before I do.)
-- Nal continues to have a very flattening effect on my mood. I think that this is because a) without endorphins, the days after drinking I feel way more letdown and b) endorphins in general are lower.
-- Hangovers have become brutal. Many others report this -- just want to say that I hear you.
-- Still needing sleeping pills on AF days. I was doing a good job titrating down but then noticed a spike in need for them last week (not a desire for a "high" -- just unable to sleep without a bit more each time). So I think I may go cold turkey (my dose isn't high enough that this is medically dangerous) and just get off of them. That's not fun as it means two or three nights with no or very little sleep.... But I've done it before, and once they're out of my system, I'm able to get sleep normally again, usually, on AF nights.
I've noticed that some here have long periods of no AF days/nights. Everyone's drinking pattern is different.... In the past, I've had whole weeks that were binges. More recently (pre-TSM), it's been more likely that I'll alternate drinking night/AF/drinking night/AF. This has definitely become a more noticeable pattern on TSM -- possibly because the hangovers are so bad. More on this as I figure it out....
-- Like DisEase, I find that I'm not so worried anymore about getting the next drink/calculating whether there's another bottle at home after the bar/etc. The Nal + Al equation has calmed something in me, both when I'm drinking and when I'm not -- just not as much obsession.
CM, Brightlite, Hanging and DisEase, thank you so much for your insights. Everyone's patterns are so different.... I hope that those of us who are down and not seeing much progress will keep with it. Between Nal and Bac and our own evolving systems of moderating/abstaining, there is going to be a key for each of us that unlocks this prison. Don't give up! And keep up the self-care -- things like exercise, naps, healthy food tell our bodies that we're not going to let them get sicker and sicker without a fight.
DisEase, my experience so far with Nal has been very like yours. Here's my update for Week 5 of TSM:
I've been thinking that my original calculation of pre-TSM units/week may have been a bit high because I was still figuring out how to calculate units the "right" way (finally gave up and just went with one glass of wine/one beer/one shot (alone or in a drink) = one unit). My usual poison is wine, and I think there are about five glasses (my pours) in a bottle. So I think I should recalculate my pre-TSM units/week at 40-55 rather than 50-70. This isn't the way everyone's calculating, but (other than my original pre-TSM calculation) you should be able to see trends in my numbers regardless as I am keeping my own "unit" pretty consistent. I thought I should make this note about my pre-TSM adjustment as it makes my progress look less dramatic (don't want to mislead anyone or give false hope).
Pre-TSM: 40-55 units/week (NOT standard TSM calculation, see above), 0-4 AF
Week 1: about 20 units, 2 AF (definitely honeymoon)
Week 2: about 30 units, 4 AF
Week 3: 38 units, 2 AF
Week 4: 23 units, 4 AF
Week 5: 28 units, 4 AF
A few notes:
-- My units seem to be staying pretty low (compared to pre-TSM). Week 1 was definitely the honeymoon, and Week 3 was a spike. It's now Week 6. I've yet to go back to pre-TSM levels or above. I'm still drinking quite a bit in each session -- Note that there are sometimes 4 AF days in a week, so the Nal + Al days are contributing lots of units each.
-- I can barely drink red wine anymore. It used to be my drink of choice. It tastes pretty bad now, and I have to choke it down when I choose it. I've found myself drinking white wine and vodka/cran.
-- Craving: Seems more "habit" now (e.g., looking forward to wine with dinner) than overwhelming desire. It will take a while to understand what's what, I'm sure.
-- Definitely still having way more control when I drink. Remembering most or all of my evenings, drinking each drink slower. My husband frequently "laps" me now when we are out for drinks, which was unheard of before. (He is not an alcoholic and usually stops drinking on a given evening long before I do.)
-- Nal continues to have a very flattening effect on my mood. I think that this is because a) without endorphins, the days after drinking I feel way more letdown and b) endorphins in general are lower.
-- Hangovers have become brutal. Many others report this -- just want to say that I hear you.
-- Still needing sleeping pills on AF days. I was doing a good job titrating down but then noticed a spike in need for them last week (not a desire for a "high" -- just unable to sleep without a bit more each time). So I think I may go cold turkey (my dose isn't high enough that this is medically dangerous) and just get off of them. That's not fun as it means two or three nights with no or very little sleep.... But I've done it before, and once they're out of my system, I'm able to get sleep normally again, usually, on AF nights.
I've noticed that some here have long periods of no AF days/nights. Everyone's drinking pattern is different.... In the past, I've had whole weeks that were binges. More recently (pre-TSM), it's been more likely that I'll alternate drinking night/AF/drinking night/AF. This has definitely become a more noticeable pattern on TSM -- possibly because the hangovers are so bad. More on this as I figure it out....
-- Like DisEase, I find that I'm not so worried anymore about getting the next drink/calculating whether there's another bottle at home after the bar/etc. The Nal + Al equation has calmed something in me, both when I'm drinking and when I'm not -- just not as much obsession.
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