Beatle,
Thank you for your post. I do agree with you about being AF before you address your issues. That was my mistake - I got sober and didn't deal with the underlying issues.
Perhaps this is why I chose to pick up a beer (the instant stress reliever) instead of my baclofen when I was nearing the start of one of my exhibitions. I put myself under way too much pressure (newly sober), without any backup, tool box or close support.
I lost nearly a stone in weight over those few months because I was so stressed. The reasons of which I am still unsure. I suspect was rooted in my need for approval as an artist and my basic low self esteem. The exhibitions were a resounding success (thank goodness), but I did drink a far amount during that period.
I also now need to deal with why, when I am about to start work on a piece of art, the urge to drink becomes so strong (this is the stuff I need to work through).
So, I know where to find the trusty horse, I just have to work out how to get the cart attached...and then get into it!!
By the way, I totally agree with going private if you can afford it. I get my Bac privately and will continue to deal with any 'alcohol related' issues that way.
You sound good. The work you are doing with your therapist is must be benefiting you and your self esteem if you are leaving her office feeling elated.
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