I was never a pot smoker before this time, apart from minor experimental use. I was a very heavy nightly drinker and alcoholic, 20-22 standard drinks per night. I drank initially as a method of temporary escape from emotional problems like depression, loneliness, shyness, and anxiety. Insomnia has always been a problem aswell. I spoke to numerous doctors, counsellors, and psychologists/psychiatrists over the years and was prescribed nearly all the antidepressants, but in all cases without any substantial success. Alcohol remained the only thing that "worked" for me, but the tolerance and huge intake ended up making the drinking an almost entirely negative experience. Apart from all the hangovers, liver damage, and general disruption of life, the alcohol ceased having much of an effect on me apart from making me feel sick. It stopped producing any noticeable buzz or high, and I couldn't even escape into an emotional fantasy any more because I could no longer get drunk from it (unless I drank an enormous amount that left me totally ill and unable to legally drive a car for over 24 hours).
In January this year I underwent a successful outpatient alcohol detox using diazepam (Valium) and proceeded to try baclofen. I quickly gave up on baclofen due to an unfortunate insomniac reaction to it (luckily it helps most people sleep). I had tried naltrexone via TSM last year but had not given it a long enough trial, since I gave up after only a month or less. I began to smoke cannabis at night in place of alcohol, to try and keep my depression under control aswell as to get high. I didn't even like the effects of MJ to begin with, and still don't find it very much like drunkenness, but it was the only buzz available to me. I now realise that I was seriously mistaken to keep on trying to live in an emotional fantasy world and keep on chasing a chemical high. My life has not progressed in any meaningful way, certainly not in the way I was hoping for after quitting alcohol. MJ has also been making me extremely tired as an after-effect. I spend each day in a mental fog and can definitely notice the dulling effect on my mind; everyday activities can be a real effort. MJ also gives me unpleasant effects during the high, such as anxiety, ringing in the ears, a headache, and an inability to get to sleep for about an hour after going to bed. I toss and turn in bed and my mind races.
I realise that my personal experience with marijuana may not be the same as that of other people, but I wanted to post this to give an example of why MJ substitution of alcohol may not work out. It may seem like a great idea to start with, even a logical idea, but for me it just hasn't worked out. I still experience depression during the day and find myself white-knuckling my way through sobriety during the times I'm not actually stoned. Some people would probably try smoking more MJ throughout the day to cope, but smoking just at night is already causing me way too many problems. My only obvious choice now is to try baclofen again and possibly use some other drug at night for insomnia, while taking my last dose of baclofen several hours before bedtime. Addressing my other problems in non-chemical ways is also a vital step I must take.
I will add one more thing, that would probably be fervently denied by most people who are smokers...marijuana can and does cause physical withdrawal symptoms and severe cravings if it is stopped after regular use. I found this out by accident while staying temporarily out of town, about a month into sobriety from alcohol and therefore a month into nightly MJ use. I experienced almost total insomnia as soon as I didn't smoke at night, aswell as serious anxiety and a range of other symptoms that were very similar to moderate alcohol withdrawals. I wouldn't have believed this if someone else had told me, but I know it wasn't a placebo response, since I had never read about MJ withdrawal (I had naively assumed it didn't really exist). Tolerance has also been setting in, which is something else I had assumed was very minimal with MJ. With larger amounts has come more severe tiredness and other unwanted effects. I am also being considered for a new job, and apart from being concerned about MJ inhibiting my ability to work, I am also worried I may have to undergo a drug test. This will prevent me from getting the job since cannabis gives a positive drug test result weeks or even months after being used. I live in a fairly small close-knit community, so failing this drug test is likely to result in me becoming known around town as a 'druggie'. All these problems may not have existed if I had stuck with the baclofen and found ways to work around its few side effects.
All I can say is that anyone who is thinking of using MJ as an alcohol substitute may find that it does not work out as hoped, and may find that it has too many annoying or debilitating negative effects.
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