My Baclofen Experience

[Bruunhilde]

My Baclofen Experience

Take as needed. Or something like that.

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

My part of California (Northern) is nice. It's not like plastic fantastic LA or Sandy Eggo. My idea of "hot" doesn't really fall in line with mainstream American standards, but it's true in general: Let's face it - first impressions are everything, and if you look like an unhealthy sweaty overweight guy, you are coming into the game with about negative 10,000,000 points. :-)

I finally managed to break the 200 mark again, and have been at 250 all week, finally seeing some relief from the cravings. I've been AF now for about a week, and I'm back on a healthy paleo diet and back to working out frequently. 5HTP is still working well for me. I'm debating dropping the Wellbutrin to see what, if anything, changes.

Even though I went a bit off the rails and drank a lot of beer over the past month, my weight loss is still going well, and I dropped another pant size. Still got about 50lbs to go, but down 45lbs from my starting weight!

-Moglor

[Bruunhilde]

My Baclofen Experience

Good for you Mog, on the AF and continued weight loss. You're lucky you're a guy, I can't lose an OUNCE if I have one beer. Or one glass of wine. I find I can eat Ben & Jerry's and be more successful with my weight. Any alcohol and I gain, B&J I can maintain or even lose if I don't go nuts.

I'm 23lbs less than I was in January which was my top EVER weight. I'm feeling hopeful but haven't gotten into the gym. My gym was bought and I didn't like the new one. I've got a week off early August and am thinking of trying one of those "free weeks" at one of the big chain gyms.

I used to live in SF, loved it, it was much less looks-oriented (and everyone wore actual clothes) than So Cal but this is where my family is so I had to return... I couldn't seem to make alot of friends up there, everyone is so entrenched or gay, I couldn't find a good bunch of girlfriends. I wanted to be a lesbian, I really did, but couldn't swing it. Oh well.

Staying off the beer will help keep your mood up. I find just one night of drinking one bottle of wine can depress me.

[RudyB]

My Baclofen Experience

hi mog! still on itouch here. laptop broken. happy to see you again! good for you for the pants and the booze break. more later

[Lo0p]

My Baclofen Experience

Northern California is nice!

Pullin' for ya mog! Check out Martin Berkhan's Leangains site! I used to be 50lbs overweight too!

Seems insurmountable but once it's done...it's done!

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Thanks Lo0p!

Someone asked me what my target weight was recently, and I have no idea. I'm putting on so much muscle mass from Crossfit that my scale weight doesn't really change, but I lose inches on the belt.

I've gone from a size 48 (tight) to a size 42(comfortable.) Some brands I can fit into a size 40 relatively comfortably too (Levi's.) I've lost about 50 pounds so far.

I'm at 245 right now, at 5'10". Alas, my measurements (chest/arms/thighs/neck) keep increasing due to gaining muscle faster than I lose fat, so I look/measure fatter than ever, but somehow also more healthy? Either way, I'm leaning out, so that's good.

I took a major step with Bac a few days ago. I had been at 225 for awhile so I ramped it up to 325. I have been bacced out in a major way the last few days. Twitching, hallucinations, memory lapses, but I still haven't switched. I think the longer you spend drinking while on bac, the more your brain adapts and the harder it gets to switch.

On the plus side, once you get into VHDB range, (300+) ramping the dose up significantly doesn't seem to carry the same dramatic side effects.

Today I'm going for 350. I have got to be worth studying for the long term effects of bac. I've been on HDB since May of 2010. I really want to get off of it, but whenever I dip my dose, I crawl into an alcoholic hole.

With the 5HTP, depression hasn't existed for me in several months. I'm tapering off my Wellbutrin now.

Now I can truly see the addiction, without the coloration and excuses of depression.

Thanks, everyone, who has been by my side. This has been and continues to be a long haul. I still believe in bac.

[bleep]

My Baclofen Experience

moglor;1157795 wrote: I think the longer you spend drinking while on bac, the more your brain adapts and the harder it gets to switch.

There's certainly some truth in that. It becomes easier to drink on baclofen the more you do it, so it's something to watch out for.

I think that those going for abstinence will definitely find it easier to identify their dose at which that can happen. With moderation, the line is somewhat blurred.

[RudyB]

My Baclofen Experience

heya mog! so glad to read about your measurements. yes, the scale means nothing! ignore it! i've gone down almost two sizes but haven't lost a pound. sorry to hear about the drinky drink. but you've probably got it right about the drinking on bac and not knowing your switch even if it comes. your hangovers must be horrendous! so glad the 5htp is still doing its magic. i've recommended it to a friend -again- and i'm about ready to order it for him, as he's a typical depressive and sometimes slow to do something for himself. keep on keepin on. and i always rush to read your updates. good to hear from you again!

xo rudy b

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen Experience

Bruunhilde;1151808 wrote:

I'm 23lbs less than I was in January which was my top EVER weight.
...
I wanted to be a lesbian, I really did, but couldn't swing it. Oh well.
...
Staying off the beer will help keep your mood up. I find just one night of drinking one bottle of wine can depress me.

Bruun:
WOW!...
:H...
Me, too.

Hiya, Mog. I just started (yesterday) taking 5HTP. Rather anxious to see some results. What was your experience like? Is it still working for you?

How are you in general???

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Don't fuck with the DTs.

I have been on bac for nearly 2 years. I have had successes and failures, but I have never had a worse failure than last week. I ramped up *again* to 300+ but kept drinking. I could barely function at work, I couldn't remember the most trivial things.. literally, I packed my gym bag and forgot to pack my gym shorts, yet I still drank.

I mentioned this in a previous post about geting used to bac. The brain is malleable, regardless of age, and will adapt to any bizzare circumstance. I made a critical error with continuing both bac and drinking for so long.

Every day I woke up and took a handful of extremely potent mind altering pills: 5HTP, Wellbutrin, Baclofen, in crazy doses. I would go to work and be subjected to unfathomable stress, cortisol, fight-or-flight stuff, plus punishing my body at the gym. I would come home and drink. My psyche was hanging on by a thread.

At some point about 10 days ago, I lost it.

I got home from a friend's place, 16 beers and a fat bong rip to the wind, already strung out on a week of 325mg/day of bac, plus 300mg/day of 5HTP and my prescribed Wellbutrin. I fucking lost it. I put my hand through the wall, and did not get out of bed for about 45 hours except to pee.

I was determined to get all these chemicals out of my brain, but I was not entirely stupid. I continued my bac at about half, so 100-125mg/day.

I proceeded to experience the worst week of my life.

I have never had a problem not drinking for a few days here and there, but the combination of drinking cessation, stopping wellbutrin, and dramatically dropping my bac dose sent me out into never never land. Have you ever seen the movie "Jacob's Ladder" ? This is what the DTs are like from a mental standpoint.

All I can really say now is that I truly have a new respect for the severely psychologically ill, and I have an understanding of their situation. If you want more details, PM me.

Once I realized what was happening to me, I ramped my bac dose back up, and I'm OK now, but I am going to taper down to nothing. I need a break from the chemistry. I am almost 70 pounds lighter than when I started this journey and I am, psychologically, much more "whole." My binge drinking has gone from 20-30 beers/night to 10/15 beers every 4-5 days.

The time has now come for re-assessment.

Best,
Moglor

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen Experience

Wow, Mog. I'm glad you're okay now.

Thank you very much for sharing that experience. I hope you'll continue to keep this thread updated as you go through the reassessment process.

And Moglor, all the best to you. Your input has been a huge benefit for me.

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

I should add that I am going to stick with the Wellbutrin and the 5HTP for now. I need to let my body rest after being on bac for so long. I'll respond to PMs soon :-)

[RudyB]

My Baclofen Experience

hi mog.

so sorry to read about your awful time. sounds unbearable. but i'm glad you're on this side of it now. i wish you all the good luck in the world in finding balance. i'll always be rooting for you!

xo rudy

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

I don't know what to say here. I don't know what to do.

Thanks to the (very few) people who PMd me, that really meant a lot, and it really helped me move forward. I am sorry I haven't responded yet. I'm still bound up. I'm not sure what would have happened if nobody had replied :|

I'm in a really weird/bad place right now. My life and my job doesn't allow me any quarter, any time off. I wish I could find someone to talk to.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen Experience

Heya, Mog.

I'm really, really sorry to hear that you're struggling. I'm glad you brought it here.

I think everyone's in bed, you guys are the last you know?

Hang in, John.
xo