My Baclofen Experience

[Isolde]

My Baclofen Experience

Sunny, that sounds very much like the kind of thing I need to implement. I've been a daily drinker for a few years now, only recently realizing that it's mostly due to constant low level anxiety. I'm quite introverted and tend to only really open up at all when socializing (unless it's someone I'm really close to), when drinking. And over the years I've begun to associate a LOT of habits with drinking, and so basically with having fun and doing things I find enjoyable. Though I know I can have fun without drinking, it's still a somewhat foreign concept, and part of me still harbors the notion that there are just some things which I will only be able to enjoy to their fullest while drinking.
I've been dealing with more intense anxiety and some depression recently (well, now that I think about it, coming close to a year now) due to really not liking my job and some relationship issues. After having just a 5 day AF stint last month, I know that I have more motivation to work on myself and get things sorted out when not drinking. I'm very much looking forward to feeling that again. I just started bac last Wednesday, and had 2 AF days last week which actually weren't very difficult. Had some planned drinking this weekend, and now finding it a bit harder to get back to AF days. Although, I did manage to have just ONE beer last night, without even feeling like I wanted anything more. That hasn't happened in ages! So I think I'm on the right track!!

In regards to instituting healthy habits again (such as going to the gym and such), do you think it's easier to do it while trying to become AF (does it reinforce the desire to become AF?), or to just work on one problem at a time, get the alcohol under control, and then work on the next goal?

Thanks for your insight, I find it very helpful.

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

RedThread12;959024 wrote: In all honesty, your story sounds a little scary to me at this point. It's not just about bad SE's or not being able to get AF.

Thanks for the info Red and Sunny. If I can't get any support from my own doctor, I will give Dr. Levin a call.

A big portion of this is the "co-morbidity" of ongoing depression for me. I don't want to scare anyone away from trying baclofen because of my failure, but I want to be as transparent with my experience as possible here. It is a miracle drug for me, and it absolutely works. I only got myself into a mess because I did not stay at a maintenance dose for long enough, and a couple experimental drinks kicked the depression back into high gear, which starts a wicked downward spiral.

I'm back up to 125mg/day now, and feeling good. Hopefully I'll be able to get into the Dr. next week to talk about depression and baclofen.

-John

[RedThread12]

My Baclofen Experience

Glad to hear you're feeling better. And thanks for sharing your story as you've gone along. It means a lot to all of us "lab-rats" to hear as much experience and information as we can.

If you're not already, you might try taking l-glutamine at 10-12 grams/day. I did that and pretty soon I was off my anti-depressant. I'm not suggesting that for anyone, but that's what happened for me. Can't hurt. Might help.

Onward, John. You've come a long way. All the best.

[Sunnyvalenting]

My Baclofen Experience

Mo,
There is a strong correlation of alcohol with depression. Recent research indicates that both problems need to be addressed for the best chance of recovery. I cannot recall if you are in treatment for your depression as well as the alcohol dependency. If not it is definitely something you can address which will improve your chance of good response. Remember too that there is always an element of self motivation here and that is often in short supply when depressed. It can be quite circular as well as there is the reactive depression brought on by the alcohol use too.
Isolde,
I think modest implementation of exercise and healthy diet can commence as soon as you feel well enough to participate but did not go "full tilt" until I was Af for 5 months and felt confident. I believe in the past I often got myself into shape between binges so that I would be able to tolerate the next one! It was a bizarre and troubling vicious cycle. My first priority remains abstinence and I would not let anything interfere with that.
I read in your note that you did some "planned" drinking this past weekend. Why would you plan to do ANYTHING that would undermine your goal right now? This treatment can best succeed if you use your own motivation and best judgment along with the craving suppression of baclofen. Would you consider a planned period of abstinence. Perhaps you don't yet realize just how bad this addiction can get. When we seem to be "functioning" the disease progresses indolently until we have fewer options and motivation to do anything but continue down the path. Use your motivation wisely. Don't fritter it away by testing out alcohol + baclofen. IMO the ones who reach their goals at lowest doses are those who have chosen abstinence rather than waiting for "the switch".
Good Luck at any rate to both of you. Please don't take anything I say as criticism of either of you but rather as a little insight I have gathered over the years and a lot of reading I have been doing to understand this problem.
Sunny

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Hi All,

For whatever it's worth, I'm still around. I'm having a lot of problems with depression, it's derailing my attempts to get back on the wagon.

I'm back up to 150mg/day, but having trouble getting up to 200 due to SEs and depression. I hope to have the strength to make an appointment with the doctor next week to get back on anti-depressants.

-Moglor

[Sunnyvalenting]

My Baclofen Experience

Good to hear from you. I hope you have a good response. Keep on trying! It is all we can do sometimes.
Sunny

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

Hi Mog

Good to see your still around. Yours was one of the first posts I read on MYO.

Keep me informed of what's happening with your progress. I think its important to hear the cons as well as the pros.

[Mish]

My Baclofen Experience

Hi Mo
Thanks so much for your honest appraisal of Baclofen and your own journey on it. I am talking to my psych next week and am researching which med will be best for me. Your posts, along with others and the different threads have been very helpful.
I wish you every success and see, from your expressions that you're a fighter. Well done.
:h Mish :h

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Thanks for the kind words and support, everyone. It's always great to hear that people appreciate my posts. So many others have helped me through some tough times with their own postings, so it's nice to feel like I am "giving something back."

I'm back up to 225mg/day with minimal SEs (just vivid dreams and somnolence,) and the cravings are finally diminishing again. It's doubly difficult with the depression, as depression increases the cravings dramatically, and makes me not care at all about the consequences of drinking.

I am starting to feel like I did back in July when I was able to go AF for the first time in my life, and I am now hopeful that I can once again return to being alcohol free. Some of my motivation is starting to return, and I'm also hopeful that I will be able to make an appointment to see the doctor for the depression.

For any of you who don't suffer from depression, it's a little like having a hangover so bad that you are incapable of getting out of bed, but without the nausea. Everything takes a second seat; work, cooking, cleaning, exercise, health, the future; it's all on hold until the depression abates.

[Choochie]

My Baclofen Experience

Everyone,

I just finished reading all twelve of these pages in one sitting and want to thank all of you for "putting it out there." I really appreciate the honesty about your struggles. It's helped me feel stronger about trying to be AF. I'm brand new to this site and still trying to learn the best route to take.

John, your writing reminds me of Augusten Burroughs (huge compliment). You're so intelligent - if you could find some fulfilling way to channel your energies and talent, you might have half the battle won. It does seem, though, that you definitely need someone overseeing your entire "program" so you can get the medication right.

I am only 3 days AF, but think this website might help me do the trick. I know there's a honeymoon period with this journey, though, so I don't want to get complacent or smug. I've tried to moderate many times (with the help of books) and I've tried to quit many times. So, I'm here to try a different way.

Anyway, thanks to all of you and I'll be following you in the future!

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Thanks, Choochie, for the compliments on my writing. I'm not familiar with Augusten Burroughs, so I'll have to check out some of his works.

I think you hit on a very important point here. There IS a honeymoon period, and it was very easy for me to get complacent and smug, and it really and truly derailed me for over 6 weeks. Don't make that mistake!!

I ramped back up to 225mg/day pretty quick, and I've been feeling the side effects quite strongly. The first couple days at 200-225 were ok, but after my body has become saturated with bac, I'm getting into the land of permanent haze where I'm always sort of half-asleep. I am thankful that I (still) have a job where I can manage to perform excellently even stoned out of my gourd on baclofen.

At 225, I've finally (again) reached the point where I no longer crave alcohol, but I must be ever vigilant to not place myself in situations that would tempt me, and I will continue raising my dose. My best experience to date has been at 200, so I am now pushing my previous boundaries.

[Choochie]

My Baclofen Experience

Well, you've brought up the single toughest issue I have -- staying out of trigger situations. Luckily I work from home and can avoid stressful settings if I choose to (most of the time). However, I went to a little party the other night, pulled up, sat there a minute, and drove away. Couldn't do it. I've decided that even if it's selfish I'm not putting myself in settings that might make me crater!

I don't know anything about the craving meds -- have gone cold turkey. I hope it works for you. I've read posts by several people who sound like they're doing pretty well with the meds. Sounds really complicated, though, trying to figure all that out -- need to be a rocket scientist!

Best of luck! I'm following your posts and will send you good vibes!!

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

I've posted before about the SEs with high-dose baclofen, but my clumsiness has reached new heights, and I've developed a tendency to "zone out" for a few seconds. This tends to occur about 3 hours after a 50mg dose, and lasts for around 30 minutes. I have to be careful to not schedule anything boring during that window. I tried more frequent 25mg doses, but oddly, this left me in a much more pronounced state of somnolence.

The clumsiness is annoying because when I'm not drinking, I'm motivated to do things like play guitar, but my fingers aren't really capable of that level of dexterity while I'm this "high."

This is definitely a new SE for me, since I did not have this at 200mg. I thought about maintaining at 200mg for longer, but I was still fighting the depression and incredibly strong urge to drink. At 250mg the ability to resist the urge to drink is stronger, but the depression is honing itself to razor sharpness, and it's difficult to maintain the motivation to do much of anything.

I need to maintain sobriety for at least a week before I discuss ADs with my doctor. Today is day 3, and my work day has been supremely stressful. Anything less than 250mg and I would have been drinking today.

-Moglor

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

My Baclofen Experience

Moglor, I hope I'm not being invasive, but how long have you been at 250?

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Topsy: This is day 2. I'd been at 200 for for about 5 days, then 225 for about 3 days. Today's SEs are already proving markedly less severe than yesterday's, although the clumsiness has been fairly bad.

I adapt to the bac very quickly, which allows me to ramp up the dosage rapidly without major issues. If I stay at 250, I'll probably be normal in about a week's time.