My Baclofen Experience

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

I found it very interesting what you said about your deprssion honing itself to a "razor sharpness". Maybe because it can't be all prevailing due to bac it can now only hit you when its near the core of the problem.

I also am having moments of intense despair which look like the end of the world to me. Luckily they don't stick with me so no damage done yet. My immediate aim is still on track, to reach the switch.

I'm at 180mg for about 5 days now and being in a haze is always a moment away. I often start reading a post and find something to think about and I space out for a few minutes, coming back to reality not knowing what I was doing.

I think SEs will level out in a few more days and I'll be ready to move on up.

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

My Baclofen Experience

Ig, is there a difference in alcohol intake yet, or interest in alcohol?

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

Trace, I haven't been out of my head drunk for more than a month. I class myself as a binge drinker but the binges seemed to merge together. I was spending 1 or 2 nights a week not being fuck faced before bac.

For me that's an incredible difference in alcohol intake.

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Ig: One of my core problems with alcohol is that I use it to self-medicate for chronic clinical depression. Taking away the alcohol intensifies the depression severely, but I can't drink on the anti-depressants, so I have to be off booze prior to going on the ADs. It's a remarkably painful catch-22.

I thought I wasn't going to be able to stop myself tonight. I went to the store to get food, and all I could think about was how I was going to load up the cart with beer and go home and drink myself into oblivion. This wasn't an "alcoholic craving" so to speak, but more like a last ditch effort/desire to do anything to dispel the terrible sadness, loneliness and emptiness. Somehow, when I got home, I was very surprised that there was no beer in my grocery bags, and I was too depressed to do anything about it at that point, so I stayed sober.

Also, great progress, Ig! My intake was similar, I'd only be sober one, two nights out of a 10 day period, just enough to let my body recover a little before starting again. I'm glad to hear you've been able to cut back!

-Moglor

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

There's a lot of crossed wires in our brains to fix. Stopping the numbing effect of alcohol is a necessary first step IMO.

Just give yourself time to catch up with what the bac is already allowing you to think. ie you don't want to drink, you want a way out of the pain.

My amateur psychology worries me at times but as Guitarist said, "Just let it all hang out". Feel free to reign me in on it if you think I need it!

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

Another post from the egomaniac with an inferiority complex.

I still at 180 mg/day. The SEs haven't abated on this measly 20mg rise, I seem to be moving around in a bubble, I only hope others don't notice. Just about to head of to see an important customer.

Thanks for the encouragement on my progress but I'm sceptical about seeing anything as a success. The main thing is that the hope is still with me after a month.

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

I wasn't routinely alcohol free until I hit 200mg/day. Lots of people on the boards here haven't reached "the switch" until much higher doses, although some seem to have reached it lower. It seems to be closely connected to body type, activity level, alcoholism type, and other underlying conditions/precursors for drinking. In my case, it's binge drinking (daily,) with fundamental reasons of boredom, depression, and anxiety.

For me, the haze has mostly abated, and I seem to get the haziest just before my next dose. I've hypothesized about the SEs being more strongly related to baclofen withdrawl, as once I take my next dose, I'm feeling fine again in about 30 minutes. I have also noted a VERY strong correlation with intensity of SEs and alcohol consumption. My heavy duty SEs completely vanished when I went AF, but at 250+, somnolence is a constant issue.

What is your dosing schedule at 180?

At 250 I'm doing:

50 - 7am
50 - 10am
50 - 1pm
50 - 6pm
50 - 10pm

I feel the haziest right around 5pm, which you can see is the longest "window" of not taking bac (5 hours.) This has been the trend for the last 6 days, so I will try taking my afternoon dose at 4pm or 5pm instead of 6pm.

I have also noticed that I feel very hazy around 10pm just before going to bed, and I usually feel quite ill in the morning, although I feel fine after taking my morning 50mg. I may try to bump everything back to a 3 hour dosing schedule, or move everything to a 4 hour, although it is my general intent to increase dosage.

Back up to 4 days AF, today is going to be day 5! My longest AF period to date (since I started drinking heavily in 1992) has been 24 days, between July 10th and August 3rd of this year.

-Moglor

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

Today
60- 6
20 -11
40 -4.20
60 -8
and now its just hitting in. About one hour after, so if I'm not here, I'm here.

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

60 is a pretty hefty dose. Try breaking it down into smaller doses, maybe 6 doses of 30mg throughout the day at even intervals?

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

Hey Mog

Tried that, seemed like once I had located my stash, opened the zip lock, counted my dose, found some water, closed the bag: it was time to do it again!

Also I can only get 10mg here which is a bit of a pain.

Whatever I do I don't think I can get around the SEs and as evidenced by last night's spree, I think I'd better keep titrating up.

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Hope it works for you Ig! All the posts on this board were what gave me the strength to push through what seemed like constant defeat. I can tell you that drinking while on Baclofen definitely degrades its effectiveness, and like I said, I had to push up to 200mg and make some major life changes (diet, exercise) before I could finally put the bottle down and let the bac work.

I'm on day 5 of 250mg, day 6 AF, and I'm finally starting to feel some hope again. This, of course, is the Danger Zone (cue Kenny Loggins) as it's when I'm feeling good and positive that the depression creeps in and ruins everything. It's my goal next week to make an appointment to see the doctor about going back on ADs. Still unsure whether or not to talk to him about the baclofen.

Somnolence is still a constant issue for me, and I think that at this high a dose, it's never going to really go away. I'm AF now, but I still think about beer, mostly out of habit I suspect, so I'll keep going at 250 for another week or so (although I may go to 262.5 by adding half a pill to my before-bed dose.)

-Moglor

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

See him. Don't get back on the ADs. Tell him about the Bac.

I drank a 1/3rd this evening and Bac sure as hell degrades it's effectiveness.

Hang in there and use your nog Mog.

[Sunnyvalenting]

My Baclofen Experience

Mo,
I agree w ig, You need to tell your doc about the bac so that if there might be reason to be concerned about interactions. They both affect neurotransmitters.
Hang in there. Set your site on total abstinence for now. One thing which helped me a lot was to make a schedule of things to get done every day. It kept me on track and when I'd hit the "doldrums" I could check the list and find an alt to drink.
Best of all to you
Sunny

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

I've been adapting to the SEs quite well over the last week, and I've now gotten to the phase where I need very little sleep, and I get tons of stuff done. I like this step, I hope the feeling stays. I am now up to 262.5/day or 2.2mg/kg.

My sites are set on total abstinence. I made the mistake in August of experimenting and seeing if I could drink "responsibly." I suppose the experiment had a valid outcome; the answer is no, no I cannot drink responsibly.

I think this incident really cemented in my head that I am, in fact, a legitimate alcoholic. I do not play one on TV, I did not stay at a Holiday Inn Express. I'm not a "fake" alcoholic, my problem is neither worse nor better than anyone else's. I do not have the option to drink a little, only NONE or A LOT. I choose none.

Now the question is, do I admit to my friends and family that I have this condition? I've kept it under wraps, although my closest friends already know about it and about my baclofen trial. I think maybe I'll just leave it at that.

-Moglor

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen Experience

I've been debating whether or not to come clean to all and sundry, too.
My impulse is to come clean to those who are going to be most affected by the process. (My loved ones and close friends know.) But I can't deny that there is a serious life-altering stigma associated. I'll be curious to hear about what you decide.
Good luck!