My Baclofen Experience

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Pre-baclofen, any craving meant I'd be in the car on the way to the liquor store, and I'd drink until blackout.

During baclofen, but pre-switch, I'd sometimes be able to resist a craving. The higher the dosage, the easier to resist. If I didn't resist, sometimes I could stop at a couple drinks, but if I pushed past my resistance (basically force-feeding myself booze) I'd again drink until blackout.

Once I hit the switch, alcohol just stopped being a motivation for me. I only occasionally experience a desire for beer, and I'm able to rationally analyze why and decide not to follow through. Social situations have been hard, so I recommend staying hidden for the first couple weeks once you hit the switch, and let that switch dosage build up and solidify before exposing yourself to temptation.

Depression is still a major issue, and threatens to be my undoing. I was in a very dark place earlier this afternoon, but I was able to think it through and not make any mistakes that would jeopardize my sobriety.

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

Your pre-switch sounds a bit like me. But I'm not prepared to resist the cravings, I know I can do that and I know where it leads me. Now I drink when I feel like it and on the few occasions when I've started to force feed myself alcohol to get to that ultimate release point, I run out of resolve and given up. You are obviously made of sterner material!

The depression was likely your undoing in the first place and threatens to be your undoing now. I urge you to face it now while your basically free from the one thing that will prevent you from dealing with it. I know that boring place, bleak, gray, no animation. Try to figure out what actual difference alcohol made to you in that situation. Not just inside your head but how did the difference manifest itself in your actions.

Maybe fake some of those manifestations and see what the reaction is. You might be pleasantly surprised or I might be full of shit.

[Titania]

My Baclofen Experience

Mog, you are truly an inspiration for many people, one of them me! I have been a member here for ages, but rarely write anything. I should be at work, but have sat here all morning reading your posts from the start. Awesome! I got on this morning coz I have been taking bac on and off for a few weeks, and finally got into it yesterday and took 20 mg last night and had horrible weird feelings of being a total floppy drugged up doll during the night... it is a muscle relaxer so not surprising, but wanted to see if others had had the same experience. Glad to know they have.

I have tried many things during the last few years and nothing worked... but I am determined for this to work for me.

From reading all your posts, the underlying problem to me seems the lonlieness and boredom, and now that you are in control, you need to make some more changes... Sounds like you need to get out and *get a life* meet new people who don't drink, join some clubs or something to give you new interests (says me who hates that type of thing), but you definately sound like you need to go out and meet the right people in a more sane setting (not a bar)..... other than that, you sound like you are totally on the right track to getting over your addiction! And a wonderful inspiration to others... your writing has so changed since your first post... it's very impressive and I agree WRITE A BOOK or at least start with some articles on this and probably other topics that you can clearly help others with.

Personally I wouldn't mention it to the Doctor, don't they have rules and regulations where if you tell them you have an alcohol problem (or did) they have to send you to AA etc. and it's permanently on your records... My doc as much as told me not to say anything.... as long as you can get what you need without his/her prescription, then why bother??

I am going to Nursing school in January, never went to college and it's a total life change for me and I think you need something similar.. we get in a rut and make excuses, I say make a total life change and do that thing you have always wanted to do!!! Don't allow yourself to be bored and you won't be... keep yourself so busy that you don't have time to be bored... and hopefully not depressed either!!!

Thanks thanks thanks for all you (and others) have written... truly inspiring!!

[Sunnyvalenting]

My Baclofen Experience

Moglor,
It took me several months of sobriety to feel totally normal and happy. I was warned that it takes at least 6 months to normalize our neurotransmitters. I had been on antidepressants for the past 14 years and about 2-3 months ago realized I had forgotten the pills for several days and was fine! If it is advice you are after my counsel is to not make any major life changes until things feel secure for you. Since stress can be an entry way into relapse (in rats and people) learn healthy ways to relax such as exercise or other activities.
I think posting on this site also is an opportunity to avoid isolation and get the support you need. Good luck. You have many surprises in store in your newly abstinent freedom.
BTW I am aware of no law which says that a doctor must send you to AA for this problem but it could likely show up on your record as a preexisting condition and if the republicans have their way of undoing the health care reform you will be penalized if you need insurance in the future. But a big plus is that if you can get your doc to prescribe it it is quite inexpensive as compared to the online non prescription pharmacies which are making a BUNDLE on this stuff. Well worth it if that is your only choice. You can also ask your doc to not put it on your record but that might be difficult. You could ask him to code the visit as depression (which is also a preexisting diagnosis, unfortunately).
Anyway glad to hear of your success and hope to hear of your future growth as well
Sunny
Sunny

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Titania, thank you so much! It always amazes me when people refer to me as inspiring, it's just about the last thing I feel like when I get up in the morning.

I've often thought about writing (fiction,) but never seem to get anywhere. Perhaps with my newfound sobriety, I might make more progress. I have thought about setting up a blog somewhere, presuming I can preserve my anonymity to some degree. The thought of writing a book about my experiences with addiction and baclofen seems so strange to me. Maybe it will make more sense after I've been sober for a significant period of time. Do you really think people would read it?

The more I think about it, the more I may go the blog route.

I have decided that I will not discuss the baclofen with my doctor at this time, but I will pursue anti-depressants, after having done a mountain of research on side effects/interactions. I've worked too hard to let another round of depression sideline me!

I'd love to make a total life change, but it's tough from a logistical perspective. I have a lot vested here in my life/career/etc. Getting past the alcoholism and depression will go a long way to helping me socialize more

Thanks for all your encouragement! Words cannot adequately describe how much it warms my heart to hear that people find inspiration in my posts.

-Moglor

[37degrees]

My Baclofen Experience

Interesting to see so many perspectives on this forum.

I would add my warning against having "alcohol dependence or abuse" anywhere in your medical record (at least if you are in the US and not yet on MediCare). It will basically make you uninsurable under current rules. Hell, even seeing a psychiatrist for more than 2 visits probably makes you uninsurable.

Regardless of what the doctor puts on the medical record, insurance companies have full access to your pharmacy records. There are very few indications for BAC or NAL, and prescriptions for them will raise flags.

I would say that if you have a secure job with good health insurance, get a prescription from your doctor. Otherwise, be very, very careful. (The internet pharmacies got it figured out - unlike almost any other drug, NAL actually costs *more* from them than the local Walgreens.)

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

My Baclofen Experience

37degrees;995310 wrote: Interesting to see so many perspectives on this forum.

I would add my warning against having "alcohol dependence or abuse" anywhere in your medical record (at least if you are in the US and not yet on MediCare).

That has not been my experience, but the clock is still ticking. I think a person who smokes or who is overweight is in a much more precarious predicament. If the doc asks if you smoke, what are ya gonna do? Lie? Gonna hide the extra weight from the scale?

I haven't seen prejudice regarding my drinking problem (or smoking problem) yet. I wouldn't be surprised if I do, but it hasn't happened yet - and my first treatment (paid for by insurance) was in 1989.

[37degrees]

My Baclofen Experience

Topsy-Turvy-Tracy;995312 wrote: That has not been my experience, but the clock is still ticking. I think a person who smokes or who is overweight is in a much more precarious predicament. If the doc asks if you smoke, what are ya gonna do? Lie? Gonna hide the extra weight from the scale?

I haven't seen prejudice regarding my drinking problem (or smoking problem) yet. I wouldn't be surprised if I do, but it hasn't happened yet - and my first treatment (paid for by insurance) was in 1989.

Have you applied for medical insurance outside of employer-supplied ones? I am self-employed and I can't even get new insurance because of high blood pressure (controlled), and tests for knee pain/swelling (resolved), bad headaches (treated and gone), depression (never reported because I paid the psychiatrist out-of-pocket, but stupidly used insurance for the meds twice).

Really OT, but the health-care system - esp. for "mental health" - sucks big time.

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

My Baclofen Experience

37degrees;995313 wrote: Have you applied for medical insurance outside of employer-supplied ones? I am self-employed and I can't even get new insurance because of high blood pressure (controlled), and tests for knee pain/swelling (resolved), bad headaches (treated and gone), depression (never reported because I paid the psychiatrist out-of-pocket, but stupidly used insurance for the meds twice).

Really OT, but the health-care system - esp. for "mental health" - sucks big time.

I could not agree more, but we're in a catch 22 here. What are you gonna do, never need medical care?

High-blood pressure is likely worse than AL or cigs. Diabetes is very bad too. But past a certain point, what difference does it make if you have to claim no malady (and pay out of pocket for any malady) in order to pay for insurance that covers no malady?

Might as well jump in a hope for the best.

[Sunnyvalenting]

My Baclofen Experience

for a few more years (under the old system) an insurance company may refuse to cover you for preexisting conditions so it is wise to keep your records "sqeaky clean". It may not even work as if they can prove you are hiding something then they can cancel you even if you were covered and paid your premiums. It is a game to be sure but a risky one.
Sunny

[Titania]

My Baclofen Experience

I agree with everyone about the whole health care issue, but just sometime my doc once said, when I was about to tell him, I drink more than I know I should, he said something like, You don't want to tell me that!!! I seriously didn't hear that!!! And I said, ok and changed the subject..... he is a great doctor, so not sure of any rules or regulations or like you say, there are not laws, maybe it was just the implications regarding insurance that he meant.... He knows I am not a total alcoholic or it would show up in my blood tests I get every three months.... but I definately do drink to much wine, alot of the time!!! :upset:

Anyway Mogler, I think you should seriously think about writing a novel that is based around the whole experience, not meaning it IS you, just another *fictional person*... I started writing a book 15 years ago, and am in the process of my ex son in law trying to get it off an old computer for me (hopefully). It's something that is very rewarding and makes you feel good.... so you could give it a try. Something I didn't know is that you don't have to have the whole book written before sending it to an editor or publisher, just one or two chapters... seems they can tell from that if they would be interested or not!! This comes from a friend of mine who is a Book Editor... Just an FYI.

I get the impression that on this forum, everyone is very supportive of each other and that is wonderful, especially in our fragile states of mind. Glad I am finally participating...

[ignominous]

My Baclofen Experience

Write a book, anything like your postings and I'll read it.

I suggest that you don't mention Bac or alcoholism otherwise it is doomed to an audience of 100 or so participants here!

Maybe a metaphore: 'He picked up the magic stone (Bac, MWO) and slew the beast (alcohol).'

[37degrees]

My Baclofen Experience

Regarding my health insurance, my big concern is that having "alcoholism" on my medical record will move me from "hard-to-insure" to "impossible. For example, if I want to move to another state I will have to find new insurance.

Right now, because of my high deductible, insurance doesn't pay for anything anyways, but I need it in case of any surgery or overnight hospital admission (5-6 figure cost off the top).

[Titania]

My Baclofen Experience

I like that Ignominous... Slew the beast very good!!! I agree there!!!
I was in hospital in July with emergency surgery for appendix, and I have insurance,
paid the deductible and still got a bill for $1900.. plus another $250 from the Imaging place.... so even with insurance you pay alot... so unless you have to, don't mention anything that will screw it up! I bet Charlie Sheen can't get insurance

I didn't take my regular dose yesterday as I fell asleep at work.. i took it last night, but I am fed up of the being sleepy thing.... how long does this last? I am only on 40mg a day.... but then I know my body cannot handle strong drugs.... I did only have 3 glasses of wine last night tho!!!

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

For the sleepiness thing, it gets better if you stay on the same dose for awhile. If you're trying to titrate up rapidly, you're just going to have to live with it. I would recommend titrating up as slowly as possible though. Try and break your dose up during the day. At 40mg you could do something like:

7am - 5mg
10am - 5mg
1pm - 5mg
4pm - 10mg
7pm - 10mg
10pm - 5mg

This would give you a lighter dose during the day to avoid the sleepies, a stronger dose in the evening to combat the after-work cravings, and a lighter dose before bed to avoid sleep-related SEs/dreams. Personally, I tend to take a larger dose at night, because it helps me sleep. Make sure you drink lots of water!

As for me, I went to the doctor yesterday, and came out with a prescription for Bupropion (Wellbutrin.) Took some this morning, no problems. It takes a few days before the anti-depressant effects kick in though. I did not discuss baclofen, although I did discuss my drinking habits, and disclosed that I had quit drinking 3 weeks ago.

All of that, and it turns out I've lost 25 pounds since this time last year, so I'm feeling pretty good right now.

Feel free to PM me, Titania, I'm happy to discuss the SEs and how I managed them in more detail.

-Moglor