My Baclofen Experience

[Cinders]

My Baclofen Experience

Moglor,

Most women won't care. I say that as a 50+year old woman.

If you are well below that tz, go for it, if you are at that tz, snuggle, if you are past that tz, snuggle.

It is so cute. My mom and dad, both 87 years old, still holds hands.

Can life get better than that?

I think not.

Love,
Cindi

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Thanks, all, for the kind words. I'd been carrying on a dialogue with a girl for awhile, and finally got the nerve to ask her out. That was 3 days ago, and she has not replied, and although I still see her online all the time, she completely stopped acknowledging me after I asked her to lunch.

Respectfully, Cindi, I disagree. Most women *do* seem to care. In real life I'm friendly, caring, successful. I have no "baby mama drama." I have a car. I have a very well paying job. I'm not an ex-con. Shit, I even play guitar. I love animals, I love kids, and I'm a great cook. Nobody on the outside knows I'm an alcoholic. All they see is the fat balding guy, whose remaining hair is rapidly greying, and they won't touch me with a 10 meter cattle prod.

It's enough to drive a man to drink.

Literally.

-Moglor

[bleep]

My Baclofen Experience

People who only see the fat balding guy aren't the sort of people you'd want close to you anyway Moglor. Shit, with the attributes you list, I'd give you a chance, but I'm already married, and I'm a guy, so it wouldn't really work.

One of my close friends is fat and balding, and he is forever involved in serious relationships. It's not what you present, but how you present it. Just relax, and don't see it as a quest. Put yourself in social situations, and be social. If you can portray the same depth of character that you do here, you will be fine. I see an honest, sincere person who is trying to better himself, and those are qualities that will always be attractive.

[ignominious]

My Baclofen Experience

Hi Mog. Good to see you're still in the driving seat.

I'll second all that bleep said and add that I've heard somewhere that you shouldn't start a new love affair until a year after quitting. You need that amount of time to learn to appreciate yourself after the years of booze self flagellation!

I've maintained a relationship for ages whilst drinking but I think a better term to describe it would be dysfunctional! In many ways I envy you having the opportunity to start whilst in full control of your senses. Give yourself a break , you can't expect to catch up on those wasted drinking years in a couple of months but you'll get there soon.

Really appreciate the honesty and candor that you show in all your posts.

[RudyB]

My Baclofen Experience

hey mog, take heart!

i am a 41 yr old single mom starting to date again. most consider me pretty attractive and i, like you, am smart, and have a car and a good job. the past two guys i've gone out with are balding, and one of them was also a bit overweight. they are great guys and i could definitely see past their scalp! i mention the attractiveness/car/job factor to underscore the fact that you CAN and WILL attract a lovely woman in spite of your hair. we do exist, we who are deep enough to see the soul of a person in their eyes, in their being, not on their head. sounds like you're doing the right thing, working on yourself, working out (and oh how that DOES lift the spirits, huh?!). love yourself and dive into things that make you feel good, and your inner radiance will shine through, promise. hang in there!

i have oft felt a rigorous churning in my guts from drinking, especially from beer!

i love your posts and, like others, find your candor so refreshing! love yourself, man. try not to take the dating game too personally (like the gal who vanished when you asked her to lunch). think of it as a fun and exciting adventure, and work on knowing that there are lots of female fish and the best one for you will swim up to you at just the right moment. trust that. your expectations often manifest, so...

meanwhile, stay strong, stay as sober as you can manage, and keep your chin up.
rudy (day 3 on bac)

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

I'm still around 100-125mg/day. For whatever reason, the sleepiness is really getting to me this time around, but I'm getting also getting some (unpleasant) speed-like effects: jittery, can't sit still. Unlike speed, I'm having a hard time concentrating, and my mind wanders endlessly. This time around, I'm also experiencing some sexual side effects, which are odd. I'm guessing I ramped up too much too soon, but I'm not willing to be patient with it. The SEs are not insurmountable, so I just roll with it.

Cravings are substantially diminished, but triggers still trigger, and once I have one drink, I have to finish the job, and will drink to blackout. This reflects my original experience, where I did not achieve a switch until 250mg/day, in 5 doses of 50mg. I may try a tactic of taking smaller doses every couple hours in order to ramp up faster while minimizing SEs. I am not a patient man.

Have been doing gym 3 days/wk, but am going to also ramp that up to 4 or 5 days. In addition to being impatient about bac, I'm also impatient about losing weight and getting fit!

-Moglor

[Doggygirl]

My Baclofen Experience

Hey moglor. Just wanted to wish you well on your gym adventures! I too incorporated exercise into my toolbox when I sobered up. I look better on the outside and feel better on the inside. I never ever ever stuck with an exercise program before - too busy drinking. I can't believe it, but I've stuck with this one for almost 3 years now. Hope it works that way for you too. I'm still shocked when I walk somewhere and don't get all out of breath!!!

DG

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Thanks DG! I've been overweight my entire adult life, and only recently have I been able to take a flight of stairs without getting out of breath. Not only that, but I can run up them without any serious effort. I'm still quite overweight, at 250lbs (113kg, 17.8 stone) on 5'11" (180cm) but my gym regiment has been paying off for sure. A year ago, I was 290lbs. I love my gym. CrossFit is the best!

[LittleLessBoozin']

My Baclofen Experience

moglor;1107025 wrote: Thanks, all, for the kind words. I'd been carrying on a dialogue with a girl for awhile, and finally got the nerve to ask her out. That was 3 days ago, and she has not replied, and although I still see her online all the time, she completely stopped acknowledging me after I asked her to lunch.

Respectfully, Cindi, I disagree. Most women *do* seem to care. In real life I'm friendly, caring, successful. I have no "baby mama drama." I have a car. I have a very well paying job. I'm not an ex-con. Shit, I even play guitar. I love animals, I love kids, and I'm a great cook. Nobody on the outside knows I'm an alcoholic. All they see is the fat balding guy, whose remaining hair is rapidly greying, and they won't touch me with a 10 meter cattle prod.

It's enough to drive a man to drink.

Literally.

-Moglor

Moglor, a brotha needs to have game. End of. I've been borderline fat since 16, and I'm now full on fat. And Bac is making this no better :-S

Sorry to be abrupt and unsupportive, but the fact is that even as a fat, continuously drunk SOB, I still get to turn the girls down.

You probably could too, but you have to believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, no-one will. It really is as binary as that.

Paul.

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Do you still have to turn the girls down while sober?

[LittleLessBoozin']

My Baclofen Experience

moglor;1109309 wrote: Do you still have to turn the girls down while sober?

Fuck knows- far from sober yet.

P.

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Been reading the boards today, lots of angst and drama. Can you imagine? Angst and drama amongst a bunch of drunks? Shocking, I tell you. ;-)

It got me wondering, why do I care so little about all these slights and malfeasance perpetrated by random posters, when everyone else seems to care so much, to the point of quitting the board over some slight, real or imagined? I've been "on the internet" for a very very long time, starting in the mid 80s with old modem-based bulletin board services. During this span of time I've been an angsty teenager, a drug addict, a know-it-all college student, a drunk, an angry drunk, a depressed and sad drunk, a regretful drunk, and a know-it-all drunk. I've been the giver and the receiver of hate-filled posts, and over many years I've learned how to shrug it off, roll my eyes and wave my hand dismissively.

This is a board about recovering from alcoholism using the "My Way Out" method. There are many people on here who are alcoholics or recovering alcoholics who pursue the MWO method in different ways. Like in the Real World, there are also a subset of people, drunks or otherwise, who exist only to cause others misery. In the gaming world, we call these people "griefers." Some people cause grief because they intend to, because they derive psychological pleasure from sowing misery and discord. Some people do it on accident, because they have poor language skills, or are just thick. Some do it because they're drunk, angry, sad, jealous, and are just lashing out.

On the internet, you need to develop a thick skin. If you are an active poster, people will take aim at you, for no other reason than the fact that you are a target of opportunity. Taking your bat and ball and going home means the griefer achieved their objective, and you have now deprived yourself of a valuable tool in your own recovery because you let these people offend you so deeply.

It's even harder here because lots of people think we're straight up insane for (ab)using baclofen, and feel that they need to try and talk us out of it for our own good.

What's the take home message here? I dunno. Maybe it's worth something to someone.

---
In other news..

I'm at 150mg/day and just burned out really bad from work this week. I could be at 175, but I forgot to take my afternoon dose, and I don't really want to double up. I'm definitely getting back to the near-switch, where I still feel psychologically that I need to drink, but it's not really doing anything for me except making me feel bloated and sleepy. Not long now before I'll hit the switch again.

-Moglor

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen Experience

Great food for thought, Mog.

I like 'griefers.' Would be fun to come up with our own take on that. Someone funnier than I will have to take that one up.

I'm really glad that you're nearing indifference. It's pretty amazing how far you've come, and in what seems to me to be such a short amount of time.

How are you feeling?

[moglor]

My Baclofen Experience

Ne/Neva Eva;1110556 wrote: How are you feeling?

Bone weary. I haven't gotten much sleep this week, been working 12+ hour days in very stressful conditions. I have managed to limit my alcohol intake, fortunately. Last night I pretty much had to force myself to drink beer. Why did I do that? Stupid. I have gained like 7 lbs this week due to stress I guess, and maybe bac. Annoying. I ate really spicy food last night, and this morning my stomach is really unhappy. Not a good start to the day, but I am planning on an alcohol-free weekend to recover.

-Moglor

[Isolde]

My Baclofen Experience

moglor;1110473 wrote: Been reading the boards today, lots of angst and drama. Can you imagine? Angst and drama amongst a bunch of drunks? Shocking, I tell you. ;-)

It got me wondering, why do I care so little about all these slights and malfeasance perpetrated by random posters, when everyone else seems to care so much, to the point of quitting the board over some slight, real or imagined? I've been "on the internet" for a very very long time, starting in the mid 80s with old modem-based bulletin board services. During this span of time I've been an angsty teenager, a drug addict, a know-it-all college student, a drunk, an angry drunk, a depressed and sad drunk, a regretful drunk, and a know-it-all drunk. I've been the giver and the receiver of hate-filled posts, and over many years I've learned how to shrug it off, roll my eyes and wave my hand dismissively. - Yup!

I have been wondering the same thing. Like you, I've been interacting with internet people for a long time. And I was also on modem-based BBSs!! Back in the 90s for me though. I actually still have a lot of real world friends that I met back in those days.
Anyway, yeah. I also don't understand why some people let others get to them so much.

moglor;1110473 wrote:

This is a board about recovering from alcoholism using the "My Way Out" method. There are many people on here who are alcoholics or recovering alcoholics who pursue the MWO method in different ways. Like in the Real World, there are also a subset of people, drunks or otherwise, who exist only to cause others misery. In the gaming world, we call these people "griefers." Some people cause grief because they intend to, because they derive psychological pleasure from sowing misery and discord. Some people do it on accident, because they have poor language skills, or are just thick. Some do it because they're drunk, angry, sad, jealous, and are just lashing out.

On the internet, you need to develop a thick skin. If you are an active poster, people will take aim at you, for no other reason than the fact that you are a target of opportunity. Taking your bat and ball and going home means the griefer achieved their objective, and you have now deprived yourself of a valuable tool in your own recovery because you let these people offend you so deeply.

It's even harder here because lots of people think we're straight up insane for (ab)using baclofen, and feel that they need to try and talk us out of it for our own good.
Couldn't agree more with all of this. Never heard of "griefers" before, but I dig it! Very appropriate term.


moglor;1110473 wrote:

What's the take home message here? I dunno. Maybe it's worth something to someone.

I think it's this:
moglor;1110473 wrote:
On the internet, you need to develop a thick skin.

Great post!! :goodjob: