I have not contributed much to these boards, since joining a few months ago. I have not needed advice, I got that by the bucketful, reading the posts, so generously and freely given by the wonderful people on this forum. Set against this, I have felt that my own experiences were perhaps not worth relating, as they would not add much to the debate. However I should not be the judge of that. So here goes.
My pondering regards what is the 'switch' and whether I have reached it, or not? Some talk of knowing when you have reached it, it being an almost revelatory experience, drinking one night, not wanting it the day after. Others talk of a gradual diminishing in interest in alcohol, until suddenly it is gone. I think I fit into the latter group. I am currently on 200mg of Bac a day, starting at around 6:00am, finishing at around 10:00pm, in five equal doses of 40mg. I have been taking this amount for three weeks, during which time I have not drunk alcohol. At 120mg a day, my intake, previously an every night affair, was confined to Sundays, this despite having a temporary lodger, who, when he is not at work, is in the pub, or drinking red wine or cider in front of me. This did not bother me at all but I partly attributed this to the fact that I do not really like red wine or cider and not drinking in the week is easier than at weekend.
Last weekend I went to a rare, almost unique, family barbecue. Everyone was drinking except me. I would not have drunk anyway, even pre-Bac, as I was driving. But I am sure, if I was in one of my periods of abstinence that followed a two week wall-to-wall bender, I would, feeling deprived, have dashed off in time to get my fill in a local hostelry, making up for lost time and probably, as usual, starting on another massive bender.
As mentioned I did drink on Sundays, the last time at 180mg of Bac, over Whit Weekend. I had been for a bike ride, I was hot and parched, the allure of a few cold lagers was not overwhelming but seemed like a good idea. I had eight pints over five hours, pre-Bac this amount would have gone in two hours. I would have gone home, slept an hour or so and been back out for more. Up again on the Monday to continue drinking cans, bought with the morning paper. I had four pints the following evening and have not drunk since.
I have thought about alcohol but these thoughts last less than a minute, they do not, as in the past, become nagging, insistent itches that must be scratched. Should I be having these thoughts at all if I have reached the switch? I have not been returned to the way I was before I ever touched alcohol. I do not think that this is feasible, Bac cannot erase your memory. It can however allow you to take a more detached, less emotional view of recollection. It can make you realise the thoughts are illusions, the reality was not so great.
However, what about tomorrow? My girlfriend is away, it is sunny and England are playing our old nemesis Germany in the World Cup. Will I feel like I am missing out by watching the game at home alone, or do I go out and watch it in convivial surroundings, with lager free-flowing and banter aplenty? And me there miserable with lime & soda on the peripheries of the fun. Or do I join in, knowing a few drinks will not be a precursor to a bender? Perhaps I will not feel like going out at all. I don't know yet.
For that matter, how would I deal with the departure lounge? In the past, a place where my holiday began began with a bang. After a quick look around the shops, pausing to linger over the spirits, that I had sufficient self-awareness, and a girlfriend at my shoulder, to realise a purchase would not be a good idea, it would be straight ot the bar. When alcohol has been so central to your social, as well as private life for so long, it still needs to be dealt with, Bac makes this easier but if I have reached the switch it was a muted affair.
On re-reading the relevant part of Dr Amiesen's book, I see that he was apprehensive about going to the bar, where he realised, when he looked at people drinking, it was with total indifference. He did not realise within himself that he had reached the switch, it had to be tested. I have experienced indifference, will it happen in every situation?
I am off for a bike ride now. I have just started taking L-glut to lessen sugar/alcohol cravings. I think it is helping and that is half the battle. I am sure I will not crave a cold lager when I get back. With all the exercise and less carbs, I have lost weight.
Thanks again to everyone who gave do freely the info that enabled me to do this. Have I reached the switch? One thing I do know, the Bac has almost certainly prevented another massive bender. I realised that a few weeks ago, when stresses that normally led to the vodka, didn't do so.
My pondering regards what is the 'switch' and whether I have reached it, or not? Some talk of knowing when you have reached it, it being an almost revelatory experience, drinking one night, not wanting it the day after. Others talk of a gradual diminishing in interest in alcohol, until suddenly it is gone. I think I fit into the latter group. I am currently on 200mg of Bac a day, starting at around 6:00am, finishing at around 10:00pm, in five equal doses of 40mg. I have been taking this amount for three weeks, during which time I have not drunk alcohol. At 120mg a day, my intake, previously an every night affair, was confined to Sundays, this despite having a temporary lodger, who, when he is not at work, is in the pub, or drinking red wine or cider in front of me. This did not bother me at all but I partly attributed this to the fact that I do not really like red wine or cider and not drinking in the week is easier than at weekend.
Last weekend I went to a rare, almost unique, family barbecue. Everyone was drinking except me. I would not have drunk anyway, even pre-Bac, as I was driving. But I am sure, if I was in one of my periods of abstinence that followed a two week wall-to-wall bender, I would, feeling deprived, have dashed off in time to get my fill in a local hostelry, making up for lost time and probably, as usual, starting on another massive bender.
As mentioned I did drink on Sundays, the last time at 180mg of Bac, over Whit Weekend. I had been for a bike ride, I was hot and parched, the allure of a few cold lagers was not overwhelming but seemed like a good idea. I had eight pints over five hours, pre-Bac this amount would have gone in two hours. I would have gone home, slept an hour or so and been back out for more. Up again on the Monday to continue drinking cans, bought with the morning paper. I had four pints the following evening and have not drunk since.
I have thought about alcohol but these thoughts last less than a minute, they do not, as in the past, become nagging, insistent itches that must be scratched. Should I be having these thoughts at all if I have reached the switch? I have not been returned to the way I was before I ever touched alcohol. I do not think that this is feasible, Bac cannot erase your memory. It can however allow you to take a more detached, less emotional view of recollection. It can make you realise the thoughts are illusions, the reality was not so great.
However, what about tomorrow? My girlfriend is away, it is sunny and England are playing our old nemesis Germany in the World Cup. Will I feel like I am missing out by watching the game at home alone, or do I go out and watch it in convivial surroundings, with lager free-flowing and banter aplenty? And me there miserable with lime & soda on the peripheries of the fun. Or do I join in, knowing a few drinks will not be a precursor to a bender? Perhaps I will not feel like going out at all. I don't know yet.
For that matter, how would I deal with the departure lounge? In the past, a place where my holiday began began with a bang. After a quick look around the shops, pausing to linger over the spirits, that I had sufficient self-awareness, and a girlfriend at my shoulder, to realise a purchase would not be a good idea, it would be straight ot the bar. When alcohol has been so central to your social, as well as private life for so long, it still needs to be dealt with, Bac makes this easier but if I have reached the switch it was a muted affair.
On re-reading the relevant part of Dr Amiesen's book, I see that he was apprehensive about going to the bar, where he realised, when he looked at people drinking, it was with total indifference. He did not realise within himself that he had reached the switch, it had to be tested. I have experienced indifference, will it happen in every situation?
I am off for a bike ride now. I have just started taking L-glut to lessen sugar/alcohol cravings. I think it is helping and that is half the battle. I am sure I will not crave a cold lager when I get back. With all the exercise and less carbs, I have lost weight.
Thanks again to everyone who gave do freely the info that enabled me to do this. Have I reached the switch? One thing I do know, the Bac has almost certainly prevented another massive bender. I realised that a few weeks ago, when stresses that normally led to the vodka, didn't do so.
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