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The switch -- or not the switch

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    #1

    The switch -- or not the switch

    Last night I was at a party, drinking quite a lot, but not quite as much as I normally would have, and I suddenly felt like I had reached the elusive "switch".

    I felt completely indifferent to alcohol -- not disgusted by it... just, well, indifferent.

    I felt ecstatic, realizing I just didn't care about the next drink. I was able to participate in conversation like a "normal" person, and didn't feel patronized, nor patronizing (I always feel one way or the other when drinking).

    It was so amazing, REALLY amazing, that I was already anticipating getting home and announcing it here. It's true!, I wanted to yell. It's really true!

    After about 30 minutes of this elation (the first time ever for me), my partner launched into one of his know-it-all phases, and I lost it (both my elation and the switch). Then I couldn't resist refill after refill.

    Has anybody else experienced something similar?
    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005
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    #2
    The switch -- or not the switch

    I should mention that I am at about 3mg per kg.
    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

    Comment

      #3
      The switch -- or not the switch

      Morning, Beatle :l

      I'm sorry the evening turned out that way.
      I'll do whatever it takes
      AF 21/08/2009

      Comment

        #4
        The switch -- or not the switch

        Beatle - stand up and be strong for yourself!! Don't let your partner define/control you!! Puh-LeeZ!!!

        Sounds likes you are "there"!! Enough already - good grief!! Quit being silly about what you know is right for you!!

        XO

        Comment

          #5
          The switch -- or not the switch

          Thank you, I appreciate that air fairy (?) analogy.

          I am taking about 3mg/kg, and it is proving almost impossible to increase this dose. I hardly sleep at night, and the SE of jittery nervousness is already extreme. But I have managed to reduce my alcohol intake significantly at this dose, especially in the past 2 weeks, when I have applied a great deal of effort outside of bac.

          Despite the anguished tone of the post, however, I was not looking for sympathy. I truly wondered (and still do) if other people have experienced something similar, and I was obviously fishing for replies from those who have achieved sobriety through baclofen. I hoped to get reassurance and confirmation that this is a sign, that this means I am close -- or some such.

          But, of course, each individual experiences this process in their own way.

          Meanwhile, I will hang on to the memory, that brief glimpse, of that feeling of the "switch", the taste of that breeze.

          Who knows, maybe that was it.
          Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

          Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

          Comment

            #6
            The switch -- or not the switch

            How long have you been at this dose, B? Can you carry on?

            I can totally relate to the SO being an asshole being a HUGE trigger. I had it almost derail me last week.

            Sounds like you had a "fleeting glimpse". Too bad you can't go up higher. I hit the switch at 3.6
            Go before that fire there, at the altar of your heart
            That fire of who you really are and be consumed by it fully
            Surrender everything into the fire of that love until you are one with that love. You ARE that love.
            Tilak Pyle Altar of the Heart

            Comment

              #7
              The switch -- or not the switch

              Hi Beatle,

              I think you should try AF right away. For me the SE's went from unbearable to barely noticable as soon as I did. It might be a little cravy at first or maybe not - you won't know until you try.

              I ran across some of tiptronic-ct's posts when he first went AF, but can't find them again right now. He had a bit of trouble - sweats, etc, but after only a bit of that hit the switch and has been home free ever since.

              I am pretty sure that baclofen and alcohol don't mix well. Most of what I was calling SE's earlier were actually hangovers amplifed by baclofen.

              Hang in there, and good luck.
              -wort
              TSM started 1/22/2010; Wks 1-6: 78u/wk
              Baclofen + TSM started 3/5/10; Wks 7-25: 52u/wk
              Alcohol free and indifferent since 7/15/2010

              Comment

                #8
                The switch -- or not the switch

                Hey Beatle I haven't been around here for ages but glad to see you and others still strongly pushing towards sobriety.

                I never preach or lecture people but I have to agree with earlier suggestions made here. I wonder if you could try being 100-percent sober, even if just for a short time, to see if you can handle the baclofen better that way. You may find that it works a lot better for you that way. It's possible that baclofen's full effects against alcoholism only happen once a person has alcohol out of their system, so it is no longer directly affecting their brain chemistry and general thinking and emotions. Your experience strongly suggests that you are already close to being indifferent to alcohol.

                I wish you all the best.

                Comment

                  #9
                  The switch -- or not the switch

                  I want to add my voice to Wort and Greg's, Beatle.

                  We have a little bet on the side, remember The time is getting closer and closer...
                  I'll do whatever it takes
                  AF 21/08/2009

                  Comment

                    #10
                    The switch -- or not the switch

                    Beatle,

                    I hope you try to go AF and post your results. That will be helpful to many.

                    Everything I need is within me!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      The switch -- or not the switch

                      yes, I agree with you all.

                      Obviously AF is the only way for me -- this has always been my goal. I also understand that baclofen might work better in the absence of alcohol, and that it might also mitigate the withdrawal process.

                      I will keep you posted.

                      I have not forgotten our "bet", Tip. I've got one week on me... the calendar is marked.
                      Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

                      Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

                      Comment

                        #12
                        The switch -- or not the switch

                        I'm currently looking at high-dose baclofen again even though I haven't had a drink for months. I am hoping it may help me with my anxiety and depression, aswell as strong urges to drink again that have been hitting me lately (including in dreams). Like you I was unable to sleep very well on it after taking any sizeable amount right before bed, which is ironic considering that many people can't tolerate baclofen very well due to tiredness. My marijuana experiment didn't go well in the end either. Maybe some sort of natural sleeping aid could be useful, e.g. L-tryptophan (available online here in Australia), melatonin, 5-HTP, or something herbal but strong, like valerian in high dose.

                        Best wishes.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          The switch -- or not the switch

                          Greg, how about Benadryl?
                          Go before that fire there, at the altar of your heart
                          That fire of who you really are and be consumed by it fully
                          Surrender everything into the fire of that love until you are one with that love. You ARE that love.
                          Tilak Pyle Altar of the Heart

                          Comment

                            #14
                            The switch -- or not the switch

                            Beatle, I drank all the way up till hitting the switch. (FWIW)

                            beatle;935979 wrote: yes, I agree with you all.

                            Obviously AF is the only way for me -- this has always been my goal. I also understand that baclofen might work better in the absence of alcohol, and that it might also mitigate the withdrawal process.

                            I will keep you posted.

                            I have not forgotten our "bet", Tip. I've got one week on me... the calendar is marked.
                            Go before that fire there, at the altar of your heart
                            That fire of who you really are and be consumed by it fully
                            Surrender everything into the fire of that love until you are one with that love. You ARE that love.
                            Tilak Pyle Altar of the Heart

                            Comment

                              #15
                              The switch -- or not the switch

                              PhoenixRising;936128 wrote: Greg, how about Benadryl?
                              Thanks..yes antihistamines like Benadryl do help a lot, as long as I don't take them for more than 3 days in a row. I seem to build a very rapid tolerance to their sedative effect. I have noticed exactly the same thing with sedating antidepressants so presumably they also sedate via an antihistamine effect (and once taking something like that regularly, Benadryl and others no longer work). I sometimes take doxylamine, which is closely related to Benadryl/diphenhydramine. The sleep dose of doxylamine is 25-50 mg but I find that only 12.5 mg (half a tablet) works well for me if I'm not regularly taking it or any related drugs.

                              Comment

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