Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

[ThirdMan]

I'm thinking this has much more to do with not drinking than taking Bac. And the bac actually seems to help by lowering the anxiety levels somewhat. But what has me going back to drinking is normally feeling a true lack of interest in hanging out with people. Can anyone relate to this.

A) I get sober B)I go on the self-improvement mission, which is normally very fun and even successful C) working out like crazy, taking classes online D) realize I have been ignoring everyone in my life and have no interest in talking to anyone or seeing them, mostly because it would interfere with my rigorous schedule E) To compromise I would normally decide to "drink on the weekends," which even when it works is not ideally what I want.

Does anyone have any experience, using bac or otherwise, where they get sober and get so mission-centric that socializing is not scary per se, just not interesting??? It seems odd to me, since my drinking self would usually take all Sunday off to drink and catch up on the phone with people if not in person. Is there a timeframe you've experienced, i.e. several months, before you actually FELT the same socially, but sober? For me this is not a subtle thing at all, and not something I can "fake it till I make it."

[Guest]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

I have this question for you - when you interact socially when drinking AL, is that true socialising or simply drunk dialling?I would use the excuse I would catch up online, on the telephone, go around and see people when I drank. That the drink helped me in that way.

Guess what?It didn't because all I was doing was talking a load of cr@p, boring folk to death and not having meaningful interaction at all, but since I was oiled I didn't see that.

It does sound as if you are doing too much though - keeping things simple, taking it easy is the route to success for most with alcohol problems. Too much activity and it can drive you right back there.

[PhoenixRising]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

I'm really shy, so anti-social is my norm. However, if I mainly drank in social situations and was now trying to go AF, I would most certainly feel anti-social, in a self-protective sort of way...

[beatle]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

I definitely feel anti-social without alcohol. But I agree with UKblonde. My drunk socializing was not meaningful. I think baclofen helps with the social clumsiness in the absence of alcohol.

[ThirdMan]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

Yeah, the anti-social thing is my last major hurdle. Of course, like so much about alcoholism, it is 100% in the approach and placebos, landmines, and talking yourself into crap is rampant. For example, right when I started Bac I remember telling myself, "With these magic pills I can socialize no problem." I had forgotten coming to this conclusion, so now that I'm upping my dose again I am going to convince myself that the Bac relaxes me enough that I don't need to drink, and hopefully that will ease my nerves again. It's just so difficult after years of associating socializing-and-drinking. It's difficult to do, and it even seems pointless because the whole fun was getting drunk and letting words fly loosely. I feel I've lost my sense of humor, like I over-analyze everything before I say it to the point its no longer funny. Also I lack the irreverence that alcohol eyes gave me. Ugh.

[moglor]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

My biggest problem with being in social groups is that I find myself extremely bored. I'm not very talkative in general, and I don't really see eye to eye with most people on various issues, so without having a beer to entertain myself, the events can get pretty dull.

[Cinders]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

ThirdMan and Moglor,

It sounds to me like you are trying to figure out who and what you are without the drink.

You know, it is okay to be non-social. My hubby is. He is a nice guy, he enjoys his co-workers but doesn't socialize with them. He comes home, works on his yard, putters on computers, and does all kinds of handy man things around the house. I am the one person besides his children and grandchildren, that he seeks out and wants to spend time with.

I am gone 5 days a week, so he is alone most of that time. (So am I, btw, and it doesn't bother me, either.)

He is not an alcoholic. He can't stand how alcohol makes him feel.

He is as happy as a clam by himself as long as he can call me up and chat occasionally at his whim and I am home on the weekends. (I hesitate to say so I can get the laundry done and the floors swept. :H:H)

Is there something wrong with him? He has always been this way.

I don't think so. He is pretty special, actually.

Cindi

[Sunnyvalenting]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

Some people have traditionally used alcohol as a self medication for social anxiety disorder. If that is what you have of course it would be likely to resurface in the absence of the high of alcohol. You may wish to speak to a counselor if you miss the social interaction. At the risk of overstepping and "diagnosing" on line you may have an OCD tendency which was also self medicated on the booze. You tend to take your self improvement projects very seriously and consider anything but what is on your schedule to be annoying or threatening. Just something to consider. If you know in your head that community is helpful you may wish to "schedule" it in and attempt to be just a bit more flexible on that front.
Congratulations on your abstinence

[ThirdMan]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

All wonderful advice! I have definitely considered the weirdness and possibility of OCD with this fixatedness. And I'm considering the social anxiety aspect, which you raised Sunny. I wanted to get on Paxil back in the day because at that time I was so torn trying to be the life of the party when I was sober (which was rare). It never worked and it frustrated me and definitely made me anxious.

But I'd say post-Bac it definitely is manifesting more like what Moglor and Cindi are describing. More a lack of interest. I'm trying to decide if its a defensiveness on my part, or anxiety-based or not. I was actually expecting more people to chime in with "Oh yeah, I TOTALLY got that when I quit." So it makes me think maybe something else IS going on here. But with only a month and a half of sobriety this time around it might also just be a phase as I adjust to the world with a sober outlook. If anyone else has experienced this and has any advice as to how they moved through it, or learned to live with it if it stayed, that'd be great. Thanks everyone!

[moglor]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

Part of it, for me at least, is that I started drinking at an early age (17, 18), so most of the relationships that I've built over the years have been alcohol-centric. Without drinking, I find I have very little in common with many of these people, and while they are still my friends, I just don't have all that much to say to them. The social anxiety and crippling shyness comes in to play when I try and meet new people. :-)

Cinders definitely has a point, too. Without a doubt, I am trying to "find myself" and meet the sober person I never really knew, and that throws a monkey wrench in a lot of social behavior.

[ThirdMan]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

That is exactly the same thing with me! I started drinking recklessly at 17 and many of my closest friends started out as drinking buddies. Many continued to be just drinking buddies but a few also much more. I've moved around quite a bit, but it seems like I have always gravitated towards the partiers of the bunch. My association with getting tanked and spending time with others is so strong I'd say, that it feels like my brain has soldered the two things together. It's like the concept of socializing and sober time are just two things that don't go together, not only because they aren't fun but because they wouldn't make sense. Like inviting a few friends over to take a nap. What's the point?

[Sunnyvalenting]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

There is a neurological concept that "what fires together wires together". It means that 2 activities done regularly together have actual nerve connections which develop over time. This is the source of many habits and cues. Things just "feel right" together. As you change this very damaging habit (drinking to excess) you will feel uncomfortable and awkward untill new connections are made. Realize that this awkwardness is entirely normal and means you are actually rewiring your brain! The pleasant part of the high of alcohol + friendship or love can be replaced with honest authentic interactions and feelings. Be patient with yourselves. Take risks. Learn more about yourselves and others as you remain abstinent.
Good Luck
Sunny

[DrunkenMaster]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

Hi, new here, this is my second post. I'm 56. I started out much like what's reported here. All my party friends have either drifted away or cut way back due to either lifestyle choice or severe medical reasons. I myself was sober for about two years due to acute pancreatitis.

Since I started drinking again, it's no longer to socialize. I think I may really be an introvert, I don't know. Used to be that when I was buzzed I could be extroverted. Now I'm too concerned with making a fool of myself due to being out of control to make that an attractive option.

I'm no longer all that concerned with socializing. I have plenty of outlets for my social energies online and just dealing with day to day eventualities. It's just this horrible problem with my drinking that scares me.

I'm on Baclofen, though I'm having a problem getting my doctor to go over 80mg per day. Even at that, it helps. I find that it does make me more comfortable around others, not loose, more like lucid.

- DM

[goingsobermum]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

I actually find that I am more sociable. I look forward to seeing friends and spending time with them. In the past I spent most of my time worrying that there wouldn't be enough alcohol and then talking crap. I do get bored if everyone is drinking and they start repeating themselves and talking rubbish but I wouldn't call that being anti-social just bored.
I think we need to get it out of our heads that being pissed as as fart is the same as being interesting and sociable and make friends through sports or hobbies. Find activities that are more fun than drinking

[Light Of Daz]

Baclofen works, but do you feel anti-social?

I find myself straying away from the people I was drinking with, and getting interested in doing other things... things I let slide or didn't care to do when I was in full-blown alcohol mode. My flatmate probably thinks I'm anti-social now, but he was really my drinking buddy, and I don't spend as much time with him anymore. I feel like I'm re-engaging in life, and to some that may seem like I'm anti-social.