New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

..........HAPPY BIRTHDAY PLAYLAND.........

You are sounding so good - and yes, the son/mum thing is wonderful - like my daughter and I talking about it!! I am glad that you have switched your tabs around a bit - that is what I used to do when I could feel it wasn't working just right - you sound so much like me - my birthday is 1st Feb - as you said a few posts ago - we have a lot of similarities!

And yes, it was wonderful to be able to cope with a family kerfuffle without AL. Oh and No - I can take or leave sweets. I can have one square of chocolate - my mum can't stop at one piece - neither can my sister - they cannot see that it is the same thing as AL though. My dad was an alcoholic and when ever he gave up, he would go through lbs of chocolate!! I know that AL turns to sugar and that when one gives up AL one often craves sugar! I am taking the L-Glut and also Chromium Picolinate which I think it helping with that - also trying to eat a fair bit of protein as that also helps with sugar cravings - a little harder for me than for most as I am a veggie.

enjoy going to see "we Bought A Zoo" - it sounds really good - and have a great SOBER fun filled Birthday Play! You certainly do have lots of celebrate!! Talk later,

Hugs to you,

Sun XX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Sun, no time to post right now but wow, I'm a veggie too!

love, play

[MWOLady]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Happy Birthday Planland from sunny So Ontario!! Just tit=ed up my Topa today: .50 in the am, and will take .50 in mid-afternoon as well. Time to play with the big boys!!! I'm home all day and DH does the BBQ thing on Sundays so I can just sit slack-jawed on the sofa and drool if I need to!!!

Yesterday I had to drive on the highway for the first time in weeks and it was quite a trip. I felt quite stoned from the amino acids!! Man, I had to be very careful, and drive like a real senior citizen, in the slow lane all the way - shades of what's to come in my real old age....but made it ok...what a hoot! So this week with the tit-up in topa I'm going to stay here in my village!!! Life can be such fun, eh?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

playland;1240946 wrote: Hey Sun, no time to post right now but wow, I'm a veggie too!

love, play

Gets stranger and stranger........:H

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hope everyone is doing well, i'm busy with work, not much else going on now that the holidays are over. Spending lots of time alone now in the evenings, I'm enjoying it for now, probably get tired of it pretty soon. Anyway, hang in there everyone and have a good evening and talk soon.

love and hugs, play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Play - I never get tired of spending time alone! I never seem to have enough of it - although I should be careful of what I wish for......how are you feeling? Doing well still? I am! Hubs is also not drinking - he is on his 3rd day - I am amazed but although it sounds mean, I am not holding my breath! He can stop when he wants to, and I know it is harder for those who CAN stop when they want to, to stay stopped. I think, from what he said yesterday, that he is doing it to show me that he can, but once he has done it for a little while, he will start again - because I asked him in 6 months time, to say it is easy - and he looked at me as if to say "6 months time?" I don't think he sees it as long term. For me, this is it. I am now FREE and a non-drinker. I will not start again. And I need to remember this!!

BOB is also doing well - we skyped yesterday morning before I went to work - and he is doing well too, although he is having trouble eating a lot. I did that too - but then started to look at why I was eating - I am usually a grazer - and went to bed quite uncomfortable the other night. Not used to eating so much. I have got back into my usual routine with food now which feels much better. I am not cravings sweets which a lot of people do when they quit AL - I seem to be so lucky with my quitting - I think all the planets must have lined up right! ROTFLMBO!!

Anyway - hope you are doing well - I wonder where anyone else is - this will be the Sun and Play thread before long!!

Hugs, sun XX

[MWOLady]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All. Just got some bad news in the "bank account" department so can't order any Topa as I had planned. I have about 45 100m tablets left so will have to make them do for my whole program.

Right now I'm taking .50 morning and .50 aft and I'm still having mild cravings - but with GABA twice a day also this is manageable. Next week I will go up to .50 am and 100 aft and do that for a week to see what happens. Then see where I go from there. I guess I'll have to keep some back for tapering too.

Oh well, I know this is going to be fine. When DH checked the checking account this morning he had a fit!!! We're planning a very expensive trip to Jerusalem in the spring and have to make sure we don't dip too low now!!!!! Bummer!!! I want to be RICH!!!!! Don't we all!! Have a great sober day everyone.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there lady! Good for you being AF still. Re your dilemma with the Topa - my doc said that you don't have to titrate down with it - unless you are prone to seizures you can just stop taking it. Seeing as you are saving for a trip - couldn't you just take a TEENY bit out for the Topa - after all, if you buy the Topa, you won't be buying AL - so therefore will have more money in the long run - good logic - Yes???? :H

Hugs to you, Sun XX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sun and Lady,
Haven't posted for a couple of days, I've been super sick with a terrible cold and have just not felt like even typing when I've gotten home from work. Starting to feel better this morning and will post tonight when I get home. Sun, you sound good and Lady, rob the piggy bank to get the Topa, more later.

love and hugs, play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Play - I am sorry you have been sick - glad you are feeling better today though. yes, I am feeling good and doing so well too. Lady - you heard BOTH of us - rob the piggy bank!!! Get the Topa!!

Hugs, sun XX

[MWOLady]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all. Well, I also have to rob the piggy bank to get some new bras!!!! So what's my choice? Floppy boobs or Topa!!!!!! I saw those Ahhhh! Bras advertised and I may order some of them. They looked so comfy.

As for the Topa, I'm doing so well, and any cravings I have are so mild - and the GABA and 5HTp are doing such good things for me that I think I'll be ok with what I have now.

As for saving money - I have never bought "the good stuff" DH always makes his own at the cheapie wine maker place. He pays about $3 per bottle - it's pretty lousy stuff but he doesn't care. I just got used to it over time. It was lovely over Christmas and New Year to drink some lovely French wines...but who cares now eh? All that is in the past.

Now I can put it all into perspective. The way those first few gulps made me feel was just plain AWFULL - and it didn't matter what the quality of the wine was. And I thought I was enjoying myself - HA!!!!!!!

Playland glad to hear you're feeling a bit better - lots of colds around - all the stress over the holidays brings them on I think. I have not been sick - knock on wood (hits self on head..) for years!! But I think that's being isolated from people and kids - depression will do that to ya... Bye for now. Hey - let's all stay sober - what do you say?

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sun and Lady,

Well, my cold has gotten worse but I need to write, this thread might come down to the three of us or two or one but I find that I need to keep writing perhaps to keep myself focused on what I am doing here. I think I might be in danger of losing the object of my desire which is to stop drinking every day if I stop writing here and reminding myself of what I am doing, does that make sense.

First of all Lady, I love your Tag Line about alcohol being a drug that you use to kill feelings and that we must learn to live with feelings. That is exactly what I have come to realize and Sun you and I talked about that awhile back.

Next I had a very disturbing thing happen a couple of nights ago when everything was quiet here on the thread. Of course it didn't cause it but it is just an observation. So, now I have no company, I'm home alone, I came home from work, I now normally pour a small glass of wine and have a couple of sips and then it just sits there and just having it there kind of feels nice and I never finish it, or I don't even pour one, no craving, nothing. So, I came home, just poured a glass of wine and drank it down straight away, poured another one and drank it also, never gave it a thought, I drank half a bottle of wine before I stopped. I did not have a craving and didn't even have any enjoyment from drinking it, I just drank it while watching a movie, it was unbelievable. The next morning I went to work and felt dreadful, like I used to feel when I drank every night, hung-over, and then I remembered how wonderful I have been feeling every morning and I couldn't believe I had drank that wine when I didn't even want it, like what the hell came over me, I still don't know. I felt so awful that day, it was horrid and I haven't done it since. It really brought it to my attention that for that night I just totally forgot that I have quit drinking, have prayed to quit, have loved my new life, this just blew me away. And I Didn't Even Have A CRAVING Or ENJOY IT!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Well, that night sure brought my attention back very abruptly, thank god I don't have any craving, it was just the most bizarre thing, I can't describe it to you, have you ever had that happen? So, I am back to doing ok again, and it is again because of the TOPA, TOPA, TOPA, I have no craving because of the TOPA, and if I blow this it is because of plain stupidity.

So, ok Sun and Lady we need to keep this thread going, Sun you might also have a mental lapse at some point without us and I need you ladies to help keep me focused and Lady I still want you to buy the Topa and take it to Jerusalem, you won't have any money to go if you buy good bras.

love and hugs,
play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning Play! Sometimes the thread DOES get down to one or two of us - but hopefully we keep it going!! I hope some of the others come back and sometimes they do - it seems that someone comes along (just like you and Lady did ) and we gain momentum again. Bruun often pops in and posts but hasn't for some time. Airam (who started the thread) pops in very occasionally, but I haven't seen her for a while.

Yes, it does help - to come here and remind oneself of what we are doing. I have had the evening that you described - when I was drinking - pour drinks without even realising that you are drinking them - all of a sudden, you notice that you have had 3 - or four and think "when did I have that one?". It must have been most disconcerting for you to have done it the other evening - it was 'the old routine' taking over. BUT, wasn't it lovely to have that feeling the next day and KNOW that you haven't been having that feeling - it was a reminder for you of how you have been feeling when you don't drink that much. You need to bookmark your post - or print it out or something to remind you of how you felt that next day - not hungover - but not great! that is how I would feel. So wonderful that you recognize all of what you did - and can act on it. That is so much a part of the problem I think - KNOWING what our triggers and downfalls are - I cannot allow myself to get complacent - MUST be on my guard against AL constantly - especially for the next month or two. I am so lucky though - I have had no cravings at all - I am not sure why not - I did go into this so well prepared - mentally and physically - and with a changed mindset - i.e. I am FREE from AL and am a non-drinker now. That is all the Allen Carr books doing. I do obviously think about AL but would not drink it. Play - I am here as long as you want me to be here.

Lady - buy the Topa!!!!! Have floppy boobs but buy the Topa!! LOL Although you say that you think you will be fine with what you have and that your cravings are mild now - that is wonderful! I am so happy to hear it. how are you feeling? How are you sleeping? you stopped before me I think - so am curious as to the answers to those questions. i have a very dear friend who stopped a week before me and she is struggling so much! Lovely to see you here - I know you post a lot so it is good that you came back here too! As Play said, this thread does get down to just one or two at times!

I need to get ready for work - hugs to you both,

Love, Sun XX

[MWOLady]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey you two, yes I'm going to keep posting because I need to also. And I have to sort of keep track of what I'm doing with the Topa. Today I've increased the dose to .75 morning and .75 afternoon.

And by the way, I talked to my GF and asked her if I could order the Topa from River and have it shipped to her in Tenn, and she said OF COURSE!! She will mail it to me as soon as she gets it. So I ordered it on line. I'll have enough for almost the whole 12 weeks which should do the trick. And, of course I ordered the bras too!!!!! I took something back to the store which will cover both of them!!! O, who's a clever girl then????

Ladies, where there's a will there's a way eh?

Hey, Playland, don't beat yourself up about drinking all that wine the other night - geezzz!!! It happens. I don't know how many times I've poured wine that I didn't want, and drank it, then poured another glass that I didn't want and drank that too. And felt like heck during the night, and felt awful, and hated myself the next day. Why? Who the heck knows. I'm an alcoholic!!! That's why. It's not rocket science folks!!!!

It's all part of the journey. This is day 12 AF for me. Will I drink again? I hope not. I'm doing all I can to have more and more AF days. But I still think about having a drink. As a matter of fact right now, I'd like to drink. So time for a cup of tea!!

I finally went to the doctor to see if I have low thyroid. Got blood taken so will know next week.

Don't know if I mentioned here that I take HRT for menopause. Struggled with "to take or not to take" for years because of all the cancer scares, but had to go back on because of sever not sleeping because of hot flashes and wakefulness. Anyway went to a compounding pharmacy and use bio-identical compounded creams (estiol and progesterone). What a difference it makes. Within 2 weeks I was sleeping so much better. And with GABA and 5HTP I sleep like a baby. My life has literally turned around 180!!! And with NO booze in my system I'm getting healthier and healthier. Life is good.

Re cravings. I think my cravings are not as mild as I think - of course I don't have any frame of reference. I do think about having a drink sometimes in the morning, sometimes at noon, sometimes in the afternoon - so that's not normal right! So I think the full 12 week program on Topa is going to be very good for me. I'll also take another GABA with my tea!!! Better get off here and go take it.

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sun and Lady,

As always, thanks so much for being here, Sun, so glad you are doing so well, yes, just have to keep focused every single day, sometimes seems like life gets in the way so much that I forget to focus so having you guys here really helps. Sun, it is really amazing that you have just quit so easily, the Topa really isn't the factor here it seems, the Carr book yes, I haven't gotten mine yet, keep putting off ordering it, putting off making time but yes I intend to do it, I'm really curious about it now, it sounds a little like my hypnosis tapes that I haven't been listening to.

The hospital has been just crazy, I've had this awful cold and finally called in sick today, plus I've started looking for a new apartment. Now it doesn't make sense that they require you to be working to qualify for an apartment but also want you to come at 2pm on a weekday in order to view it, gee, and also have open house only on saturday from 12 to 12:30 when you don't have a car, just public transportation, and when you do get there, you are one of fifty other people who are already filling out applications. I absolutely have to have a new apartment, I need a one bedroom rather than a studio, an elevator rather than a third floor walk up, and a laundry in the building rather than a walk down the block, all this in one of the most expensive cities in the united states, oh my, oh my, it's enough to make you drink.

Yes Sun, I am back on track and do remember how thankful I am and how far I have come and that I can't let all this wonderful Topa go to waste. As you have told me quite a few times, "you can drink over it", and if I do that alot then I am letting it's effect go to waste. But every day I do realize that it really is having a wonderful effect on me, I have really no craving at all, I lost 7 pounds but have been eating more again at night just because I can also "eat over it" and I think I will stop doing that at night because it actually felt good to not eat so much at night, kind of like you felt that night, Sun, when you overate. BTY, Sun, I glad your hubby is doing well, even if it is not long term, it is a break, and even that does the body and the mind alot of good, and your brother is doing very well, congratulations to him.

Lady, thank you so much for sticking with the Topa, your boobs will get saggy "no matter what" but the TOPA will do you a good that will last you "forever", so it is a decision well made, I believe. I'm actually wondering if the 3 month plan is long enough. I have wondered if the Topa actually makes the craving go away after you stop or if it always comes back again and I have never heard anyone with an experience of being able to answer that question. I've always if Roberta Jewell ever had any follow-up advice to report after her initial book and program. At this point I'm kind of afraid to stop taking Topa for a long long time, I don't want to ever go back to the absolutely awful torture of the never-ending thoughts having my life being controlled by the craving for alcohol. Even now if I have a glass, it is nothing to what it was before when my whole life was taken over by thoughts of alcohol and how to drink and when could I drink and OMG it was awful, so I might take TOPA forever, who knows.

Well, girls, much love and hugs to both of you,
Play