New here and starting Topa and with a question

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All,

Blondie, where are you, hope you are doing ok. Houtx, hi nice to see you back, are you having success yet on the topa? and 2run, yes I had been on topa for a few weeks with great success at a low dose before going to spain on an emergency trip and didn't have enough to see me thru. I had lost 10 lbs also and have gained that back since I have been back and my problem has been out of control again.

So, I've been back on the topa for three weeks and am now taking 25am and 50pm and am planning to increase to 50am and 50pm on monday. Before I was only on 25 am &pm with wonderful success. I have been so discuraged this time but OMG today I am sure that I can feel the disinterest coming back. Everytime that I thought about it during the day at first for a fleeting moment I wanted it and then the thought felt awful but I am actually having a glass of wine tonight but one rather than one bottle or more.

It is the strangest feeling, when this disinterest takes over I can't even imagine why it was so difficult to control the cravings and it seems like the easiest thing in the world to not drink. And now I know from experience it does not work when you stop the medication and I am totally willing to stay on it forever, I was always willing, I just ended up without it when I needed it, so I have to be more careful. At this point I seem to be fortunate that I have not had any SE, only a bit of tingling and word loss in the very beginning for a few days, I'm hoping that I never have the hair loss, it is the only thing besides eye problems that would make me rethink the Topa, perhaps, only the eye problems would make me stop. So, I will report tomorrow on how it goes.

Hugs,
Play

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

P.S. Hi Waiting, nice to see you, and nice to meet you meggie.

play

[hope10]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I just wanted to clarify a prior post. In no way is 135lbs at 5'8 fat! This is actually a healthy weight but I have major body issues so to me, I feel fat and I feel I look fat.

I hope I did not offend anyone. I think I am going to go back down to my regular 100mg daily as opposed to the 150 I have been taking the past two days b/c my eyes were really bothering me. I can't use this drug as a weight loss pill!! Good luck to you all and I sure hope that topa works for your AL cravings better than it did for mine. It really did not do anything for me, even at 300mg.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone :new:

Firstly - wow I started reading this read a week ago and it feels like I know some of you (its really long, I'm only up to page 47...) last night I wanted to reply to something and then I saw the person posted in 2010 and then figured this thread is probably long dead by now. I'm so glad its not!!!

Anyway, a quick intro - I started Topa on 07/03/12 after reading MWO. 32, South African, started researching alternatives after spending a stint in rehab last year this time. I couldn't feel anything on the Bac and the Nal made me VERY sick as in I wasn't drinking but I was also not sleeping or working or doing anything else.

I'm on some other drugs for soft scope bipolar so I started slowly and am titrating up with only 12.5mg a week. I could feel it working from the very first day. It immediately lifted my mood, gave me more energy, took away the physical need to drink and reduced my appetite. I was crying I was so happy. The downside is that after a week my mood and energy levels are swinging up and down (affecting my work and relationships) and that I feel like a 'dead corpse' at night time after I take the pill. I still drink but I've cut down from 1-2 bottles of wine to about 1/2-2/3 bottles most nights and allowing me one night of having a bit more.

Anyway, right now - I feel SUPER. Sorry for jumping the queue. Just wanted to say - you guys are amazing, have been my inspiration for the last week and I hope to become one of you. :thanks:

[2Run]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

hi guys-
dizzybee- :welcome: this is a great place to be and full of good help and information. glad it's working well for you and you are feeling good. i would advise you to take some supplements (a good multi with lots of extra biotin) and also drink LOTS of water. topa can be really hard on the body and very dehydrating.
hope 10 - no offense taken. i have body issues too and everyone has their happy weight and we all look in the mirror and see something different than what the rest of the world sees. my body issues were made WAAAYYYY worse by the topa really. i wasn't feeling too badly about myself at me pre-topa weight...was very fit and healthy (minus all the damn wine!) but my post topa weight seriously changed my perspective. everyone was telling me how fantastic i looked all muscular and super skinny. now i can't imagine ever ever ever going back to where i was. a few of the side effect sites i saw that said topa causes "anorexia"... i always thought - well how can it cause anorexia?? weight loss and appetite loss, sure, but a disorder? huh? now i totally get it. boo.
play - SO glad you feel the positive effects!!! that's great! let us know how it continues
so meggie, are you on topa?
WTE - how are you feeling?

I'm not feeling all that great. Topa's bringing me down big time. I feel low and very tired. I keep fighting with my husband. Not blow outs just little tiffs because I think I'm not thinking clearly. We're just disconnecting. I feel a little shift in my will power but I feel so sad, I just want a drink at the end of the day to make me feel better. I have will power in so many areas of my life, why not this?!?! I can run 26 miles in 4 hours or a half marathon in 1 hour 50. I can hold on to a dead sprint until my lungs feel like they're bleeding. why can't I just NOT open that stupid bottle of wine. I can tell the topa is not good for me, why can't i do this without it. and even then, i'm afraid it's not working this time.

anyway...hugs guys. 2R

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All –

And a welcome from me as well Dizzybee! It’s a journey for sure!

Run - Good to see you still around. Sorry to hear you’re not feeling all that well. I feel about like you in that I can control “some much” – WHY not this addiction???? The wine in the frig was screaming at me early today again and I caved with the mental excuse of “it’s only been 2 days on Topa so it is not working yet”. Shezzzz….

As for the weight loss, some seem to get it, some others … nothing. I am hoping for nothing this time around in that aspect! But I AM forcing myself to eat more instead of just reach for that wine when I get home and forget about dinner.

I feel OK – I had forgotten how TIRED I get when I first start! Dang! Had the afternoon off and just woke up from a 3 hour nap and I took 50 mg of Topa last night at almost 7 PM and got over 8 hours sleep. Weird. I hope that part ends soon! I am going to a casino and show with GFs tomorrow and spend the night and the show starts at 1 PM in the afternoon. Besides trying to control the wine – I may not be able to stay awake! HA!

I am backing to “tracking” on my little spreadsheet the units each day, total for the week, my weight week etc. So I started this journey again with a solid 8-10 glasses a day (at least) with extras mixed in when guests would be in town. (I count a bottle of wine as 4) So yesterday was 6 – a slight improvement … but a long shot from my target. Oh those AF days were SO sweet back then!

Tonight I will take 50 mg again (Day 3) and hold on that for the week.

Hope10 – That is about the right weight for me too! I have been that weight 130-135 for the past 30+ years until I did Topa for that period. Gotta find a way around that this time! Perhaps Ensure type products – although I HATE the taste of those!

Playland – WHOO HOO! Sounds like you are back on a roll? Keep us posted! I had a bit of hair thinning but it stopped and never really had “hair loss”. This is the 1st time I am reading about the eye thing …. Then again, I am 57 and REALLY need to get some glasses other than the drugstore ones. LOL

Hugs to all!

WTE

[hope10]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

2Run...thank you for not being offended and for understanding where I'm coming from. It makes me feel better!! I completely understand the stuff you are going through with your husband. My relationship with my husband is like walking on eggshells and we are always fighting about something.

Waitingtoexhale...isn't it so weird how the topa will make you so tired even after the first day or two! I didn't take the extra dose today and did not need a nap!

Do you all think it is better to take it at night instead of in the a.m.? I have always taken my 100mg in the a.m.

[2Run]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hope10 brings up a really good point! What time!?!? I'm at 50 8am and 50 5pm. Hmmmm. Others???
Hugs!!! 2Run

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning everyone! I am posting from UK where I am visiting my mum for two weeks - how awesome to see so many posts!! Welcome Hope10 and Dizzybee - and WTE - welcome back !! Lovely to see you again after so long - although not of course for the right reasons! I don't have time to post to everyone, as I am on my mums computer, but wanted to at least check in. I was going to stay AF while I was over here but the aunt I stayed with for the first few days, likes a drink (doesn't have a problem though) and I have had 2 glasses of wine each night. Hope - you are the first person I have seen who also got up to 300mg. I shall post properly when I get home and can read it all properly. Wonderful to see so many here - hang in there all of you, we CAN do this - really we can!!

Hugs, Sun X

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, this is a first. I drank I gin and as stated earlier I said I never crave during the day and never have a hang over. Spoke way tooo soon, I felt kinda crappy and didn't want to get up, then at noon the stomach set in. Is it the stomach flu, no, I think it is a hangover. I always mark my bottle with a pen. I was afraid to check how much I drank. I did the same last night. I nnneeed to stop, my daughter gets mad, and I don't blame her. She wants to be able to call me at 9 and have a coherant mom. I tried topamax, it is a seizure med. I am on a seizure med so I would be double dipping. I am on Campral, nobody ever talks about it, does it work? It might if i took it the 3 times a day. I forget. Also, as stated, I was a mess on topamax, couldn't remember my name and was only on 75 ml. Anyone out there on Campral.

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

2Run: When I first tried Topa I started at 25 in the AM and was so dang tired I almost couldn’t work. So I changed to taking it in the evenings about 6 or 7 PM and I go to bed pretty early as I get up at 430-500 AM.

The time I was really seeing some real success I was taking 50 in the evening and then added 25 in the AM a few weeks into it. It was the first time in probably 25+ years that I had AF days and actually had a couple of 2.5 unit weeks!

Yesterday was Day 3 and did just OK. Felt the cravings drop off just a touch and forced myself to eat better and more. Took my Topa about 645 PM. But then was having problems getting to sleep (odd for me!) and so ended up getting up and pouring another glass of wine. Dang it! So still on track with my usual pattern of 8 glasses a day. The all day sipper here …. *sigh*

Sun: HELLO! And thank you for the welcome back! I’ve stayed in touch a bit with a few from the old group and we’ve discussed trying Topa or TSM again … I finally decided to jump in again. A year on TSM without barely any results - I just don’t think it works for non-binge drinkers.

I know you wish you were AF, but I wish I was only drinking 2 glasses a night!

Meggie: I’m sorry to say I know nothing about Campral but I know there are many threads here about it. Everyone’s system is different … so whatever it takes. Best to you! I don’t know your back story, but if you are a binge drinker, you may want to also look into TSM. I saw some REAL success stories over there. Sadly it does seem to work for us “Mediterranean drinkers” who just sip all day long. The tough part is that it takes about 9 months to a year to work …

On that note …

I leave this morning about 1100 for the casino for the day and evening. Trying to figure out how to stay in control in THAT environment with 2 GFs that love to party! AND how to keep an accurate count, remember my Topa and not need a nap at 4 PM. HA! We are all three sharing a suite. I have about 2 glasses of wine left in my frig right now that are already screaming at me! UGH. I have 3 hours to get packed and dressed and pack up the dog for his sleepover. “Oh – just to take the edge off and feel normal”. I should have poured it down the drain last night like I used to!

Well – Here is to Day Four and Happy St Paddy’s Day to those that celebrate it!

WTE

[hope10]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

sunshinedaisies, thanks for the "welcome back." I am happy to be back if I could only stay sober...gees!!! I got up to 10 days and messed up. Now I am on day five and VERY happy to be right where I am. I hope I can continue on this sober journey.
Happy st. patricks day to everyone.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

St Patricks Day

Hi everyone

Thanks for the welcomes.

2Run, thanks for the advice. I have no choice to drink lots of water, I drink at least 2 litres from thirst and then I stop counting, I think about 3 and thats without forcing myself. I take many supplements but must still get biotin. I'm sorry that you feel a bit despirited at the moment. At least with this forum you know that you are in contact with lots of people looking for that exact same control - we all have to keep looking and trying every day.

WTE - I'm glad that you're giving me hope that the tiredness may go away after a while. Some nights I'm to tired to even read. Its weird to explain.

Sun - I really hope you enjoy your stay. I live in SA but I lived in the UK for 3 years and my boyfriend is Irish so I'm moving back there soon. Geesh - talk about from the frying pan into the fire I try to tell him about my issues with drinking but his mindset is so different. His one friend actually died from drinking too much and up to that point he told me that Jimmy had a 'wee problem with the Guinness' Anyway, the UK is lovely though, even though it lacks sunny skies.

In terms of time of day, I only take 32.5mg (Topa hits me like a sledge hammer in good and bad side effects) I take it at 5pm as it takes away my physical alcohol wine craving but it makes me really tired for two hours and then makes me really anxious for about four. As I'm in a long distance relationships I'm doing this as I have doubled my productivity during the day and I can take a sedative at night and just watch a movie. Its not great but as I freelance, it will allow me to save up for my trip to Germany.

Last night I only took 12.5mg at 5 and then the rest at bed time. I drank a bit more than usual but I had a lot more energy and my mood was very good (not drunk, normal happy). I did wake up at 7AM with heart palpitations after I only fell asleep at 2AM though and now I'm really tired (its 5PM here now) I dunno, its seems a fine line to tread, and lots of priorities to weight up.

Right now I'm keeping a daily diary of what time I take topa, how much water, what supps, what time I eat, and times I feel really up and down, sleepy, and anxious. Because I work from home I have to figure out how to wangle these pills so that I can get the most productive hours out of the day, while still titrating up slowly but surely.

I know I'm new here but and I'm still catching up on everyone's situations AND my brain is a bit Swiss cheesy from BOTH drinking and Topa (so excuse me if I don't always remember everything) but I'm definitely not new to fighting this demon or being there for others who also do.

Happy St Paddy's Day. :man:

Lots of hugs and love,
Dizzy (hoping soon to by busy) Bee

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wow, was it something I said?

Where'd everyone go?
Well, I hope you're all well. I'm fine, just hitting the end of my Monday work day and although I don't really have a physical urge to drink my brain is screaming that I deserve a treat. Some kind of treat huh. Wish I was like my mother, whose idea of a treat is a bit of chocolate after dinner.

[2Run]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Dizzy I totally think that way after a great day or a stressful day (or a tuesday or a sunday lol!). I deserve a reward!
I felt an improvement last night. Had noticeably fewer drinks than usual. Was able to sip carefully and even poured out half of my last small glass of wine and replaced a couple of glasses with sleepy time tea without too much trouble. I kept track of how many I had and am going to aim for one or two less tonight. (You guys are thinking, gosh, how many IS that!!) So I realized that one of the side effects I'm having is a non-stop and worsening sinus "thing". At 25mg it started with a runny nose and now at 100mg it feels like a full blown head cold without the stuffy nose. Hard to explain but just really irritated and sore. Topamax's own website lists it as a SE and I remember I had it the first time I was on topa for like a month and it was one of the reasons I stopped. I am also feeling really ill after I work out since I went up to 100mg. The food thing is bizarre too. Yesterday I was STARVING literally 5 minutes after a decent breakfast of berries, greek yogurt and a little granola and today I sat down to hummus veggies and a whole grain tortilla for lunch (which I wasn't hungry for at all) and the hummus tasted and smelled totally rancid. I couldn't even get it down and I usually eat it every day. I feel like the appetite SE is so inconstant...
Well, Dizzy, good luck tonight. Cross your fingers for me and my continued moderation...
xo 2R