New here and starting Topa and with a question

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All –

Dang … fighting a bad case of the blues yesterday and again this morning. Wondering if it is the Topa (never had this reaction before) and doubt it is lack of AL as I am still drinking a bottle of wine day. I have never taken an AD but am beginning to wonder if maybe I should be ….

Perhaps just age and this guy thing going on. It was just about a month ago that I took a “road trip” with him to help him adopt a very special dog. He spent a week at my house afterwards with her and my dog – we had a blast. Now I can’t visit him (he lives 6 hours away) and he can’t come here – all due his new romance. *sigh* I feel like I have lost my best friend again. More email today and one is of his new dog in a pool I bought for her and he is in the picture – so I can only guess who took the photo. Back into the toilet. Oh well … this too shall pass …

Dizzy: My avatar is of my Golden I lost about a year ago. Those are his “Doggles” that I bought for him when riding in my Brother-In-Laws speed boats. HA! I just thought he looked so darn silly! At 110# he was not quite the “dress up type – ALL boy!

Space: Three weeks ago I would not have been able to open a bottle of wine and make it last until bedtime. Then again I go to bed pretty early since I get up at 430-500 AM. I’m just using TINY glasses. HA! And I leave it behind often in another room rather than having it in my hand all the time. And try to keep moving – doing stuff – keeping busy. I also keep glasses of water and/or cranberry juice full on my desk so I sip other stuff as well. I wish I could say it was all very easy – but I would be lying. I find driving to work I am calculating how many hours until 2 PM now. UGH I guess that’s a bit of an improvement from counting until Noon! HA! I look forward to the day that wine is not on my mind so dang often!

So today will finish Week 4 for me back on Topa and 10 days at 75 mg. Screwy how I started back up and my “weeks” end on Tuesday – but whatever. If I “hold the line” again today. I will have reduced my consumption by 55%! Gives me hope, but still scares the hell out of me to think about setting goals of 3 PM or 3 glasses a day! I would LOVE to never drink at my shop again and just buy a bottle on the way home and enjoy a few glasses and have that be that. But I am often there from 830 AM until 6 PM and almost an hour drive home – so tough to think about just yet.

Not yet sure if I will increase to 100 mg after today or not. Have a long day at the shop and will see how I do and go from there …

Later all.
WTE

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well good morning everyone! Gosh - where to start?

Mimi - I am not sure if you have tried the All-One - it has everything you can need in it vitamin and supplement wise - I have it practically as a meal - have a banana in it and fruit juice and a drop of milk - I can tell when I have it regularly. That is the first time I have ever been able to tell that with any vit supplement and only needs me to remember once a day!! It doesn't work out that expensive (approx $25 a month) when I get a coupon - and there is a code in the back of the book that can be downloaded or else I can find it for you if you want - anyway, it beats taking dozens of tablets all through the day. They have different flavours but I love the green one. I have not heard of the Last Chance Program and will have to check it out. I agree with Diz on where you are - the tingling is normal and to me, it used to remind me that the Topa was there! The tiredness does go with time - I take my Topa now and unless I take it as I go to bed and have to be up the next morning, don't even know I take it. 75mg is a low dose - many others here have been lucky with such a low dose - I had to get up to 300mg before it 'worked' for me. But I went up by the book and it did work - if I had SE's that bothered me, I just stayed at that level for an extra week or so. You can drink over the Topa too - so you do have to listen to it, and your body. Have you tried the L-Glut - that seems to help me. I got in from work and knew I wanted a drink - so took some L-Glut pwder in water (about 2 tsps) and ended up only having half a glass of wine - the L-Glut just turned off the desire for it. Annoying as my head still wanted it but my body didn't. Anyway, we all keep plodding on and coming here helps a lot too - chatting with the others and getting support.

Space - I am so happy to have you join us - I have been so bad at posting, I haven't commented on any of your posts!! When you say you are on low dose bac, what dose are you on - does it help? Bac has always scared the life out of me - LOL Is the amount you are taking enough to take the edge off the cravings? I understand the feelings of being AF but marking time until I drink again - I was so sure this last tiome that THIS WAS THE TIME but as soon as I had an excuse (going home to UK for a visit), I was off and running again - Bah!! As fopr anyone here saying you shouldn't be drinking a can of lager - you won't be hearing that from us on this thread! LOL we are all for support and the positive stuff here - NO judgement. I had to smile - someone here said I was the heart oif the thread then WTE said she was glad to see me still here - apar from 2 stints of AF - 1 was 8 months and one a couple of months, I am still where i was at the beginning! Really sad!! I do understand you not wanting to take Antabuse - enforced abstinence - you want to be able to do it becuae you can - not because you HAVE to - we will get there - ONE day - plus it seems as if you are getting better than you were -

Dizzy - I think I should hand the torch of the heart of the thread over!! LOL So sorry about your migraine - I get the auras but never have the actual headache - odd - I like the auras - they are fun - LOL As for you being too much of a busy body here I personally don't think so - I think that it is the question that is enlightening, not the answer - so keep at it (in my opinion!!). Not sure about the others but I would tell you if you were going over the top - I think it is good that you DO as you make us all think. We all bring different things to this thread and I think we all enjoy each others posts..... just my tuppence worth. Hey - way to go on day 15 - that really is wonderful and I am so pleased for you. And great on the weight loss too - it is a steady loss which is the best way to do it. My daughter is also trying to lose weight and she is doing it properly this time - slow and steady!! Don't worry about being grouchy - just get better. I rarely get headaches so am a wimp when I do get one - I feel for you :l

WTE - SO sorry to hear about your friend - that must make you so sad! One of those guys that you think 'maybe' but it never seems to quite get there but then when they find someone else - you are gutted. After all, he was 'yours' - right?? So sorry. You did well with the wine and how you handled it - proud of you my friend!! I understand the wlow as you go - although for me personally I think it is an excuse. i had more than usual on Sunday and felt a tad fragile yesterday morning - I should have taken some L-Glut somewhere in there - today I am off and plan on working in the garden - my trigger for having a drink (but then when isn't a trigger?), so gave myself a talking to this morning when I was sitting out on the steps with the dogs, my cup of tea and my cig and told myself I MUST take my L-Glut today!! ASlso must think about quitting smoking. i almost feel like an intervention is going on with my family and the smoking. I had an EKG and it came back abnormal - I have a prolonged QT interval - have been taking 60mg of Celexa and apparently it has been shown that Celexa at that dose can cause this - so I have been put on Lexapro instead but of course my family are all up in arms about smoking making it worse or def. not helping! They are all way more worried about the smoking than the AL. Anyway - hang in there - I think you are doing well with the tracking and watching your time - seems to work for you.

Houtx - like me, you looked at all the many wonderful posts and thought "oh my gosh, how on earth am I ever going to catch up?" Just dive in!! How are you doing? I hat getting behind like this and felt bad 'cos of Mimi and space - after all, I am usually around - but time is short for all of us - post when you can - or as WTE said "get your Butt typing". LOL Do not feel inadequate!! I am hoping it is 'cos of not posting and no other reason? Hope to see you soon?

Play - my dear friend, I know you have lots of stuff going on in your life right now and am so sorry - great news on the no eye surgery for the moment and I can understand you not wanting to go back on the Topa yet. IF you do, you must take it so slowly. How is the drinking going now that you are home and settled back in and everything? Please join us and post and let us know - we have a great thread going now and lots of chat..... come and jump in. I need to look up the wendi.com tapes and try them - although I am hopeless at finding the time (or is it maybe the motivation) to listen to tapes. But if they worked...... then I tell myself other stuff works if I do it/take it/ whatever! Maybe with me, it is just always yet another way to procrastinate over it.

WELL, I think I am finally caught up - I have been typing for about 45 mins and it is 9.00 already and I am off and must get my day started!! Plan on being outside in the garden for most of it - YEAH! I need to get some stuff before I start out there though so have to run errands. Have a wonderful day all of you......

Love and hugs, Sun XX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I cant possibly catch up on this thread all at once so Im doing it in bits, reading the newest bits first then trying to read older bits, I cant do the quote thing so I copied and pasted this cos I think its great sun just said it " But if they worked...... then I tell myself other stuff works if I do it/take it/ whatever! Maybe with me, it is just always yet another way to procrastinate over it"So much of the stuff does work doesnt it, I mean it helps, I know something is working for me, I am excited about myself at the moment and hope to keep it that way. I answer to your question sun I have been taking 40mg bac and 300mg gabapentin .over the past few days, it may be a week, I have been taking the bac at 30mg all along except for just before I drank when a few things happened to throw me off course. . I intend to continue with this, the amounts I am taking are quite low I think so I can increase as and when I need to. I also take citalopram and serequel. prescribed by my psychitrist these two are a contant and I dont want to change them Thats the plan anyway.

At 3pm today I thought of a drink, it wasnt a big awful craving it was just a thought and I just batted it out telling myself you can have one later if you want. I am not at all white knuckling it as I have done in the past and when I have had the lager I have had no wanting more and more as I would usually do. This is not at all like my drinking previous, which was just drinking and thinking of pretty much nothing else, total obsession with alcohol, I know I am taking a big risk here and many people, expecially my family who dont know about this yet who would tell me I should go back on AB and not drink at all.

I hope you have a good day in the garden, I have actually done some gardening myself today, which doesnt happen very much but I just got myself stuck in and am so glad I did. My ability to do things is definately getting way better than it has been in years, the test will be next week when my son goes back to school and I am getting up at 7.30 again.

Love to you all xx

ps What is the L Glut for?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Space - the L-Glut stops the cravings! It really does work for me if I take it!!! Oh - I need to ask - what dosage of Citalopram are you on? I was on 60mg a day and the FDA have found out that it is causing heart arrythmia in some folk - I went for an EKG and it was abnormal and they have taken me off it and put me on Lexapro - I have to go back on the 24th for a follow up, but in the meantime it is a worry! I had gone down to 40 mg myself and had been on that dosage for three weeks and the EKG still came back abormal. the FDA thinks that 40mg is an okay dose! I am having a break from the weeding - loving being outside - so much to do at this time of year!! I too take Gabapentin that I acquired - ahem!!! But I just take one dose in the mornings of the 300mg and it does make a difference. My Doc wouldn't prescribe it for me but I got some anyway. Thank goodness for friends !! Are you in UK? You said "at 3 PM today....". and it is only 2.00 where I am...... my trouble is when I am gardening, I love to have a Guinness - the two go together!! Is the Bac helping you do you think? I have not heard of Serequel and will Google it. Peewyoo - the dogs have just stunk up the room - oh my gosh!!!! Not sure which one did it but golly gosh!!! LOL

Anyway - back outside - think it just might be Guinness time - shame on me at 2.00 - Oh dear - maybe I should have some L-Glut? Think I will - it might hold me off for a while.

Hugs, Sun X

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Headache is better, coming and going, I think I had me too many sprouts.

WTE ? You are doing SO well. What was great for me was when I started noticing the Topa working. Normally if I bought a bottle, I would drink a bottle and then maybe buy another and finish that. So I knew whatever was in the house would be polished. So it is such a great feeling when I started ?forgetting? it in rooms or when realized that a glass is lasting longer and longer or that I can actually pour away that last glass without crying.

The bitchy part of me wants to go back to rehab and tell the people that perhaps they don?t have all the answers after all Sometimes I want to tell some of my friends in recovery but I?m keeping quiet for the time being. I think I?ll tell them if they relapse, otherwise what if they relapse to go on the Topa and it doesn?t work for them. Great friend I?ll be?

Oh it sucks about your friend. I had a friend like that for a couple of years and I remember how it felt when he met a girlfriend and became engaged. Perhaps think about your feelings, I?m not saying your situation is the same as mine was a couple of years ago. I was having a pity party and my no nonsense friend came in and said, well when he asked you to be his girlfriend you told me that you don?t want that and now you are saying you don?t want him to be with her ? you selfish cow. Of course I hated her for a while but sometimes her lack of finesse helps me see clearly what other friends only try and disguise. I actually regret being with that guy at all because it was a stop gap measure for me and I overlooked my current boyfriend because of him. I almost missed out on the guy I now plan to marry because I was too busy hanging around with my friend with benefits. Because why would I be looking for love if I was having entertaining conversations etc. etc. etc. ?

I know you need time to mourn him. I also really, really don?t mean to say that your relationship with him is/was the same as mine, I?m just telling you that half measure relationships can sometimes stand in the way of us opening ourselves up to something bigger and better. I knew I was hanging onto mine as I didnt believe I was good enough for a full on committed relationship, pathetic as that may sound. You feel down and miss him and listen to sad songs and then a bit later you get up and go meet someone who ticks all your boxes!

Its the first time in my life I hear of doggles Sorry to hear you are down. Sun has some nice ideas of natural anti depressants. I think it may be something to do the wine reduction - I have cut down from 2 bottles to 1 and it IS a big difference. You may also just have more time and a bit more clear headedness to deal with emotions. I cried everyday I was in rehab, what a fun person I was. Perhaps later you could think of something like an exercise class after work before driving home ? something to look forward to that keeps you from drinking? Anyway, just a suggestion for the distant future. Remember sunshine is great for feeling down and Spring should be in the air where you are. Alcohol is a depressant too so you should feel a bit more upbeat in a month or too but if you?re still down then perhaps an AD is in order?

Sun ? Migraines aren?t supposed to be fun, you weirdo, and you can keep that torch for now It wasn?t a migraine after all, I think its detox. I?ve never had an aura so I can?t really comment on that one, I just get really light sensitive and that?s definitely not fun! Thanks for the weight loss motivation. Oh I love gardening in Spring/Autumn. I potted 20 Italian rocket and 10 tomato plants today to sell at a market on Saturday and I must say they are looking very green and healthy, am very proud of them. Are we back on the Guinness? At least you?re weeding, I?m lazy about that, I?m looking for houses with patios where I can just do container gardening?

Houtx! ? I third WTE and Sun: Get your butt typing! HA!

Space ? Yes if you Wikipedia Topamax and Gabapentin you will see that they were both designed as epilepsy drugs to treat seizures and are both now used to treat mood disorders and cravings. I haven?t done that much research on Gabapentin but I think you should perhaps read up more and see what you can find. I think you?ve made a breakthrough on where you are at with your meds. Did you up the Gabapentin dosage? I?ve taken bac, I?m taking Citalopram, my mom?s taking seroquel (says it makes her very sleepy) and then I know some other people here take Gabapentin.

You just sound like me when the Topa started kicking in. I love gardening but it always goes out the window when I drink. I never neglect my two cats and dog but its easy to throw a blind eye to the garden? And I confessed I once killed my worm farm?but don?t tell anybody. I was so happy today to just potter in the garden in the sun and feel happy without the stupid wine monkey or hangover monkey on my back. The drinking I could take but the hangovers was making my life a living hell. Anyway, so glad you joined us here and don't worry about reading the whole thread, it is one of the longest ones in this community.

Lots of love and hugs.
DB

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Skipping ahead to the end of these last few days posting... I'll come back later. OMG - so many people and wonderful posts of all of our dealings with this monkey on our back. I feel only moderate amounts of guilt I am not on any types or meds...at the moment.

Valium or some kind of anti-anxiety would be nice!! LOL Talk to you all soon -

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx - Firstly what does Houtx stand for?
Secondly - Oooh honey, I'm going to open a can of whipass on ya if you keep doing these driveby 2AM postings!
:goodluck:

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Shit! (am I allowed to say shit? Well I hope so I just said it twice) The lady from the hospital group just emailed that I should come in to pick up the first 25 policies to translate. I'm so nervous about this. I mean I can do it but I'm learning how to work on Trados and its really complicated although after a few months of struggling it ends up doing half the work for you...a bit like photoshop.

But with the Topa making me a bit hyper (I've never been hyper in my life!) me being nervous about going overseas, having a market on Saturday having two other jobs to finish and having always been a bit ADD, blechhhhh.

It was so nice over the Easter weekend to just potter in the garden and make sprouts. I told my bf I'm going by to my hippie roots but this time without the weed. He said as long as I promise to keep showering and not to get dreads I can get a big garden and pretty much do whatever I need to do. He's cool like that

Sun - I downloaded the MWO book but I can't see the All One coupon? All One also said I get a 15% discount for signing up for their newsletter but nada so far. Anyway, I have to wait until I hit the UK.

I was wondering if you ladies would be interested in swopping some snack ideas. I'm going to not buy any new supplements and just stick to:




I see Amazon sells 180 for $37.95, that is 3 months supply.

Anyway, what I'm trying to do is add food, not more supps. So I'm adding the sprouts, Mung Beans are high in Omega 3, Folate, Potassium, and vitamin C. I love this site: Nutrition Facts and Analysis for Lentils, sprouted, raw

So what foods and lifestyle changes can we use to counter these SE? I've added some but add in some more if you know.

Anxiety - Chamomile tea, peaches (yes really!) cutting down on fried foods,
Depression – Salmon works for me (sorry sun)
Hair growth - Selenium, biotin and zinc are in which foods? Green tea is mentioned in the book.
Insomnia - Warm milk, chamomile tea,
Lethargy – Honey instead of sugar in my tea helps me stabilize my blood sugar,
Tinglies - you need grape seed extract or extra potassium which you can get from bananas, dried apricot
Sex drive – Ha! Just checking if you’re all awake there. Celery is said to work…
Topa Dopa – Exercise? Not sure on this one

Have a lovely day you lovely ladies.

XOX

[Last14theroad]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi I am in South Africa and need to know if anyone is able to advise on obtaining Baclofen

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there neighbour and welcome to our thread
I would suggest you talk to your doctor first...but...
I have never had any problems with product or customs or anything with | medical and pharmaceutical articles at goldpharma They are the best pharmacy for SA in my opinion.
:welcome:

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Morning Diz! The code for the All-One is at the very back of the book - I will dig it out if you can't find it. Snack wise, I eat apple and peanut butter - the crunchy type with no sugar added. YUM. Also love dark chocolate organic almonds and also brazil nuts. Raw carrots. That is what is ready to go in my bag for work right now, along with my mucky drink. Umm - yes (hang head in shame) I am back on the Guinness..... had an awesome day in the garden yesterday - spent the whole day out there. got lots accomplished - still weeding!! I love alfalfa sprouts the best and always go back to them no matter which other sprouts I try - radish are yummy for a change.

I found a site on line that actually showed what an aura is like - I will have to see if I can find it again - I had never known that is what I was having seeing as I never got the headache too. it is the oddest thing to happen and seeing as the headache doesn't follow it, I just go along with it!! LOL Hope your head is a lot better.....

SO happy for you that the work is rolling in and try not to worry - I read somewhere that the best person to do something is the person that has no time. You will be fine. Sounds really good for you. Your b'f sounds wonderful too - I hope everything works out - when are you going to UK?

Need to go and carry on getting ready for work......

Hugs, Sun X

[Last14theroad]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thank you dizzybee for the info,our gp is not really up to date and I would rather try get the Baclofen online.The local price via prescription is +/-R28.00/tablet which equates to $3.50:new::new::thanks:

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Topa is about R200 a month for 100mg and it works much better for me than Bac ever did but you follow the route you have to follow as different things work for different people.

I would encourage to stay with us even if you don't use Topa though, we just support each other in drinking less and living more healthily - nothing else required.

:h:h:h

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone

Sun I am on 20mg now, last time I was taking citalopram I ws on 60mg, I have heard about the heart thing and want to ask about it. I have never had my heart checked out so maybe I should. I am wondering why it is still being prescribed at all now this has come to light about it. I have ordered some l glut, the powder stuff so I will let you know what I think when I get it. Is the guiness instead of wine, why did you change drinks, wine is stronger so I would have thought guiness would have been a better choice. My did used to drink guiness so it is one drink I have fond memories of, it reminds me of him, also probably because I never really bothered with it myself.

WTE I also used to have a friend like that, it went on for years and was actually not a good relationship for me to be in, but I didnt want to let go of him. I didnt really have a choice because every time he got with a girlfriend I would be pushed aside anyway but I carried on, then the gf would go and I would be called back in, we had had a fling a couple of times but that didnt work, I stopped bothering with him whent my drinking got really bad and I could be arsed with him lecturing me about it, especially since he was a bad coke head but never saw that as a problem. He has been asking around about me but I am not going to go back there so wont contact him. Im not saying that is the same relationship your in, Im just talking about me, I agree with what dizzy said about half measure relationships, also I noticed that he never had a problem with him getting a gf and pushing me out, but the one time I met a new guy all he did was slag him off and try to split us up.

Dizzy, I am very impressed by your growing things and eating healthy, fancy eating good food instead of taking supps!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could motivate and discipline myself to do that. The eating healthy I mean, it is taking me all my time to just eat right now. I hope to take inspiration from you. The work coming in sounds good. good things do happen to good people after all.

I need to get up and do something with the day, I want to go and visit family if I can. I have been doing well on the dog walking, 2 days so far, Im aiming for a week.

:lx

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I know I'm on this thread like white on rice. Well I work from home and I'm procrastinating and at the moment this is my favourite procrastination tool so there!

Thanks Space! You're so sweet. You mind me asking whereabouts in the UK you're from and to tell us a little bit more about yourself. Obviously just what you're comfortable sharing and if you don't feel like mining through the thread you're free to ask questions as well of course. I think you're the only one in the UK and then 14theroad is from SA but I'm going to the UK soon and Sun is in US but officially from UK.

Sun - thanks for the dietary advice. I did buy a kilo of almonds the other day as I like them and I always keep a jar of peanut butter handy in case for a emergency snack (I just eat it with a teaspoon, I know it contains fat but its better than crisps etc.) Don't really have a sweet tooth but dark chocolate is yum. I want to try and bake banana bread this weekend, my oven is crummy but perhaps I'll do the baking bit at my mum's house.

Nothing wrong with Guinness, I think it may be better for you as you don't have to worry about weight. That is unless you actually like it enough to drink more of it than wine? Whats your auras like? Most people I know find them scary as they cant see properly, especially if they are accompanied by a pounding headache, and particularly especially when they have to drive.

Bf IS lovely - he is letting me 'buy' all our furniture online. :H I pick it and he buys it. I've never really bought furniture before, always just had hand me downs and make-do's so this will be my first 'proper house' and I'm so excited!!! Quick question - is Ikea very evil? I mean in terms of trade and stuff? They do have nice things but I don't want stuff made by 3 year olds. He favours Ikea and I can't expect him to spend millions but I want to do the right thing.

He is in Madrid at the moment and will only be back next Monday by which time he can sign his contract and THEN I can set the ball rolling in terms of visa etc. My D-date is 16 May as my mum and brother's birthday is the 10th and I'd feel crummy to leave before then. I'm not looking forward to the grey skies! But then it is 'so-called' summer now - hey Space?

:Argh: let me go work!!!

XOX

PS: Houtx you have no excuses anymore, I just 'lost' all my text and was asked to sign in and I simply clicked on the back button and found everything still here ready to be copied and pasted. Ha!