New here and starting Topa and with a question

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just a quickey, I got my l glut this morning and mix 1 scoop with water and drank it, thats what it says on the packet but how do you all have it?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Space - I don't know how big a scoop is. I just took 2 tsps in water as I have already had one Guinness and don't want to have any more tonight. I was SO SO bummed last night - and just poured it all out. I am supposed to be the cheerful sunny one. I even had a customer tell me that at work today - that I am always so happy and upbeat. Last night after talking to BOB (Big Old Brother) on Skype, it all just got to me - I think I mentioned already that it felt like an intervention with the cigs for me. they are all worried about the EKG results and the smoking doesn't help that. He said that he didn't want to lose me. I know the drinking doesn't help either and am cross with myself for starting again. I LIKE drinking. But hate the night sweats it causes. I just talked with hubs, and said that there is too much going on for the next week or so but after that I need to stop again and he said he was going to as well. He doesn't smoke. But does drink. It doesn't bother me when he drinks as he doesn't drink anything I like. But yes, he does need to cut down or stop. He drinks more than me. He can stop, for a while but then picks up again. Anyway, that is my story. I will be back to my sunny self. I promise. Bear with me.

Much love and many hugs to everyone.

Sun XX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Beware of black cats and ladders today

Hi Toparinos

Spooky Friday the 13th it is.

Yeah Space, you are doing so well. My mom's on Seroquel and she's a zombie until like noon most of the time but she goes to bed quite late as my dad's a bit of a night owl and they're both retired. Shame, I would tell her to titrate down but the poor woman has such bad bipolar that I don't go near her pills. She tried committing suicide twice in the last 3 years, after being the perfect upbeat mommy all the years before that. Just snapped after their move 5 years ago and bipolar was triggered. When she get so morose she cant get out of bed she sometimes gets hospitalised as we cant protect her 24/7 and then I have to nurse my dad... anyway lets just say I have shit loads of boundary issues going on there.

And Applecat, I know you said you are looking after your daughter and I realise thats tough but I'd like to chirp in about the escape from your life thing. I asked you what else you are doing but obviously just share what you're comfortable and tell me to butt out at any time. I think you could either manage some stuff better and that drinking less will make you less depressed which means that you won't need to escape your life. If you're still depressed you may need to take an AD.

If you're still in need of escape you need to think of asking for help - are you perhaps one of those women who does everything? Could you get help with your daughter? Do you ever treat yourself by going to the movies with a friend or something simple like that to 'get out.' And let me tell you once I got help for depression and I stopped drinking which was making the depression much worse, I realised my life was great, there was no need to escape from it. Alcohol makes us think we are escaping but in fact we are just trapping ourselves deeper and deeper and deeper until we are so trapped we cant escape and then we start feeling like little scared trapped hamsters who need to drink to just cope. Sorry, did I say we? I just meant me.

Back to you Space, have a look at Ask a Patient: Medicine Ratings and Health Care Opinions - its a great site to see what SE other people experience. I read through it before I start a new med. Don't mind other people too much. I've derailed my sobriety twice because of other people and what they think. If two lagers a night keeps you from flipping out on binges, then I say hell yeah.

Dang - you mean I missed Summer! And perhaps Sun thinks as she's quitting smoking and drinking fibbing is in order about the grey skies myth as I have lived there for 3 years before... Yeah I'm going to live in dreary old Slough and I've been to Liverpool once. But I've seen a super cool house my bf is going to view on Tues so keep your fingers crossed.

Sorry Road, but Sun already named you and BABF is difficult to type I always found one for the road a bit erm non PC if you're at a pub especially if you're the one driving. I don't miss drinking and driving and its really scary how many people do. I cant judge as I've done it a lot (the rest of you cant really comment as much here as we dont have any public transport system to speak of here so sometimes driving yourself is the only option) but I know the responsible thing is getting a taxi. Try the MWO book, I think you'll like it.

WTE - sorry about the blues. Ah, nothing wrong with the TV if you just don't want to think about stuff. And I'm sure that doggie of yours is perfect for cuddling up with. My brothers dog isnt cuddly at all, he's stinky and skittish as hell, but I still love him (just don't tell him) No, he knows, I didnt like him when I moved in but the bastard grew on me. Ha! he was so annoyed with me this morning as I put some sprouts in his food! The vegan nazis convinced me it would be good for him as he's 15 years old but I had to add gravy before he would touch his food again.

Oh Sunny pooh. Sorry you're feeling down. :l All I can say is please wait until you feel ready. Wait until your mood is a bit up and your meds have leveled and you feel strong, perhaps reread that Carr book again and then when you feel strong you give this AF thing another bash. I don't know why but Topa and AF has also cut my cig cravings but I'm a light smoker anyway. You can do it hon just don't let them pressure you into anything while you're still a bit wobbly. Perhaps you can do what I did and start the ciggies an hour later every week until you're ready to cut the AL? That way you know you're doing something but you're not shaking your whole foundation. Or are you an all or nothing type of gal?

Lots of love

:groupluv:

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Diz - I do enjoy your posts! they are always interesting and upbeat too! I am feeling better and have been having my mucky drink now for four days - it really does make a difference to me. Just made it to take to work with me - early shift today.

LOL re missing summer and the grey dreary skies in Uk - I keep forgetting you have lived there before!! And heaven forbid - me fib?? Never! LOL Your whole move over there sounds fun - and anyway, you aren't going for the weather!! I am beginning to plan my stops - it will be in a week or two after everything calms down. Eldest daughter leaves on Sunday and I need to get over that first!! But I will do this sgain and yes, I am an all or nothing gal!! Laughed at you putting sprouts in the dogs food - I have two dogs and tried putting green beans in their food one LOVES them and inhales them and the other painstakingly picks each and every one out.

WTE - you sound as if you are doing oh so well! And yes, mindless TV is better than drinking - we have to work our way through this - so do whatever it takes. Well done on accomplishing your first months goal - just wonderful - you must be feeling good about it yourself!!

Road - it doesn't matter how long it takes - I often think how long it took to get to where I am now, so it doesn't matter how long it will take to get down off AL - as long as we take baby steps and move forward an inch at a time - I of course, am not one to speak - I am a perfect example of a work in progress!!

Houtx - are we all going to have to come and find you? Missing hearing from you......

Hey Apple - how are you doing?

And Play - whwre are you - please post and let us know how you are - you keep popping into my mind and I am getting worried about you with all you have going on in your life right now. Just a line or two would be nice.....:l

I need to get ready for work - we are going to a BBQ tonight after I finish work, for my daughter, then tomorrow I need to be up at 4.00 as I work at 6.00 so won't have much time. then daughter and family are coming over. Then I have Sunday off !! Nice.

See you all later - hugs to everyone,

Love, Sun XX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all, what is your mucky drink sun? have a good day in work and enjoy the bbq yum yum

The sun is shining here and has been for a few days,

I checked out that site dizzy, the write ups on there for serequel are are not good but Im feeling ok on it at the moment so Im carrying on. It was my psychiarist that gave it to me as the antidepressants wernt really doing anything much for me. Sorry to hear about your mum it must have been very difficult for her and your family

Last night I had 1 lager and didnt finish it and I really didnt want another one. I think it must be the combination of things Im taking right now because this has never happened to me before, but I keep waiting for my bubble to burst because I have massed up so many times, I have to get to thinking positive and believe this will carry on working

see you later xxx

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning all from Sunny California (Not!) Sun is just up a bit ago and while we are seeing a bit of blue skies, the storms are supposed to roll in very soon. Oh well, free water for the garden!

Applekat: Hiya! I jumped in at 50mg as well. And stayed there atouch over 2.5 weeks then moved up to 25/50. Yes, the tiredness DOES go away, but for me, each I increase, especially in the beginning I get it again but it seems to lessen each increase in dodage. But it is a real bugger huh? As for the L-Glut, when I tried Topa B4 I was taking the capsules. I think it was Sun that suggested the powder and WOW! Just a few days ago I forget my little “baggie” on my counter and didn’t have it at work and I could REALLY tell a difference when the cravings began to hit. I just keep a small glass, spoon and the tub of it on my counter in the corner on a paper towel to remind myself - although the cravings really remind me. It’s quick and easy in an inch or so of water and taste like nothing – rinse and go.

I OH SO WELL understand the “escape” part of drinking. I think that is a big part of what started me down this nasty arse path years ago. Lots of trauma and drama in life and it became easier to self-medicate than try to not just curl up in a ball and die. One thing leads to another and pretty soon we’re drinking for everything! Happy times, bad, stressful, celebrations and on and on and on. Hell, everything goes with wine! HA!

I guess, for me, what scares me the most is how progressive this has become over the
years. Never have been a binge drinker, but dang – I can now easily drink from 5 AM until 10 PM without a blink or a stumble, or a hangover because I’m just and all day sipper ….

We have options … don’t forget that. And we will be here for you (at least I hope I stay here this time! HA!) Hugs and I hope things start looking brighter for you. Really – try the L-Glut if it’s the cravings that are calling hard. It’s subtle but helps. I take it 3-5 times day or whenever the day just seems “tougher”.

Space: We are now official the “Pour It Down The Drain” Chicks. HA! I know when I first started doing that some thought I was nutso because I tend to buy nicer wines (cheap wines give me a headache because of the extra sulfites). But when I think about how much money I spend each month on wine and how I am destroying my body and life – to hell with the few dollars down the drain! Just sitting here playing with numbers (can you tell I’m a numbers person?) and if I keep up even what I am doing right now for the next for weeks I will have saved over $400 in one month! Yikes! That is one expensive drain cleaner! HA!

As for being afraid of Bac, the SEs I heard from GFs sounded awful. Three friends, previous TMS gals tried at and all stopped pretty quickly. You seem to be doing great with it and I have many other success stories – especially with binge drinkers. As a “Mediterranean drinker” I find myself in a different group than most around here. Maybe I just need to move to Greece! HA!

Yep – still fighting with the 2 PM start time a bit. If it’s in the house, dang it, I start earlier. I was so proud of myself the other night when I had that full bottle from pizza guy and did not open it (as it would have been a second bottle). But sure enough, home office the next day and I was FIGHTING to get to 2 PM and did not make it much past 11 AM. So again, slow as we go and I am holding those boundaries for now until I get more comfortable with them.

Oh, and as for the L-Glut, I take about 2 TSP in 1-2 inch of water and just toss it back. Usually pretty early in the morning when that first “wine thought” hits and then again whenever cravings begin again. Sometimes even before that final glass of wine I have in the evening.

So are doing so great being able to hold until 7 PM and losing the interest in getting a real good drunk on. Yes, AL is a depressant and it sure becomes a whole new world when we suddenly have a lot more time and energy on our hands to deal with!


Last/Road: Welcome! Did anyone ever settle on your “short name”? Lots of options out there and people having success in many directions.

Dizzy: Yep, holding at one bottle and 2 PM start. Time I did increase to 50/50 2 days ago and so far so good!

The guy thing is just moving along. Get a few emails a week from him about nonsense, update on the dog I helped him adopt (in my damn name) and also as a side story – he drove my Jaguar back to Arizona to take her home and to sell the car for me. *sigh* So that keeps dialogue open as well. He is trying to stay friends, never mention “Anne” and I don’t ask. It’s getting easier. I suppose at 20 something it would not be such a big issue in my heart, but at close to 60 – well, do you have any idea how many toads there are that wear toupees? HA!

Sun: Hope you are feeling a bit more chipper again. Thanks for the All-One info. I’m going to order some today. Adding bananas (and other fruits) may help too as I HATE the taste and the more calories I can get in the better. The good news is, I’ve put 2 pounds back on. Whew! So at least the loss has stopped (for now) and hopefully can reverse it. Never have been a stress eater and on top of everything, the happier I am the heavier I get. Guess it says a touch about how I have been feeling the past 6 months or so.

Get your balance back before you try and go kick butt again!

Sooooo….. I HAD a busy day planned on a day off. My heating/air guy was supposed to be here at 7 AM (his 4th visit) to try and fix my only 4 year old system. It’s now past 830 AM and no sign of him and he has not returned my call. My new sprinkler/irrigation guy who I had an 8 AM appointment with just called to say “something came up” and he had to cancel. Next stop is to take my pup to the vet – there is a weird , almost swollen gland “something” that I discovered a few days ago. Keep your fingers crossed. Then a million other errands after that so I should be good for “holding the line” today.

Yesterday was one of the few times I headed out to socialize a bit after work - casual dinner with a GF for sushi. Which also means sake. I had about a glass and a half of wine at the shop and put the remainder of the bottle in my purse. Raced home, didn’t even take my bag inside, fed the dog, raced to the restaurant to meet her. Had 2 sakes which are about a glass of wine I suppose so I figured that’s my 4 for the day. I was almost home, I live on country roads and decided to pull over, pulled out the bottle of wine and poured it out on the road! HA! I KNEW if I walked in the door with I would be tempted to have just one more tiny glass …. Took my Topa and off to bed! So mission accomplished on Day 2 of the second month and nothing here to tempt me this morning.

And here’s a weird side note on this “guy thing”. He’s not a real heavy drinker, but he loves his shots of vodka and a few beers. Of course when he is around I would always have that around for him. And when visiting him, it was always around his house, and he would buy me cranberry juice as well as he knows I love cranberry vodka drinks. So maybe this timing is all just PERFECT after all. No booze in my house in the AMs at all. That vodka could be the death of me!

And I was thinking … when I am ready for my new goal of 3 glasses per day, to buy one of those silly little 4 packs of crappo (sorry Diz patented) wine and take a real bottle of wine and put that in them. Then chill just 3 tiny bottles and stash the 4th. Hummm…. Wonder if my head can wrap itself around that and not fight for the 4th one. We shall see. Not anything I am ready to do just yet – but planning for more baby steps.

Hugs and love to all …
WTE

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

How wierd, I was just reading your post WTE and started wanting a pizza rather than the wine, haha, I really dont understand what is happening to me, I dont want ot drink the lager, I have just made a cup of tea rather than open the second can. I think if it was wine I would drink it down quicker and be drunk then want more, so no way and I going to get wine. But I might put that pizza in the oven
Is this a full month then you have kept to your 2pm 1 bottle target? Well done Im so impressed.

I have taken l glut twice today, this morning and this afternoon when I was bored and feeling a bit lost.
I baked some cakes for something to do, now I need to find someone to eat them, I think my family are getting sick of my cakes, its started to be my new hobby but its expensive and a pain in that I then have to get rid of them. The other thing is that after baking the cakes I couldnt be bothered making a decent meal for us so the lads had something out of the freezer and I had a blt on toast.

Nothing else to say so bye

xxx

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space – That’s funny about the pizza! And GREAT you don’t want the lager! Rock on!

Hey – and don’t get impressed with me just yet! HA! No – I did not go one month at 1 bottle and 2 pm start. It was my goal to reach and be pretty comfortable with by the end of my first “month” or Week 4. And I did manage that part.

But I started at a bit over 2 bottles and after the first week didn’t make much improvement. Then again can’t expect miracles in 7 days plus I had spent an overnight at with GFs at a resort/casino partying, drinking vodkas and won a boat load of money. HA! I have no clue how much I drank, never got drunk but I am guessing about 12 units (?). So week 2 was not much improvement with blowing it that one night. Week 3 started to kick a bit and I was pretty good at holding the line at Noon or better and dropped to an average of slightly over 6 glasses per day. Better. Week four I kicked butt and while one day I had 5 glasses, another I had 3 = 1 bottle a day average.

Funny, today I got so busy doing stuff and running around and just now went to the store to buy my one bottle and realized it was 3 PM not 2 PM! Hummm.. That will be my final goal for this “month end ” – to start no earlier than 3PM and 3 glasses and be pretty comfortable with it. Yikes!

Wish you lived closer – I’d buy cake from you!!!

Over and out! Thunder storms here and better bring the puter down …

WTE

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Whats a puter?

And I am impressed with you, you have realistic goals and your keeping them over time which should make for long term changes.

I just ate pizza, not a delivered one but a frozen one, it was nice tho, I worry about the weight Ive put on but reckon eating better than being drunk all the time. About a month ago I did the Atkins diet and was doing well on it and wasnt hungry or craving food at all, but then I went of a course for a week and with being out I hadnt organised stuff to take with me to eat and just stopped the diet and havent been able to start again. My son has been off school for the past two weeks so hopefully when he goes back next Monday I will start to get back into a routine again.

xxx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hallo everyone - just got in from the BBQ and am getting ready for bed - have to be up at 4.00 tomorrow morning as I have an early start at work. had a strange experience at ther BBQ - someone poured me a glass of wine when I got there. There was nothing for me to eat except fuit salad (being a veggie) and it was a really yummy fruit salad and I had a big bowl of it - and didn't want the wine. I have always thought sugar and wine are different sides of the same coin. My mum always loved sweets and would eat sweets a lot but would sort of - not exactly act superior over me about the AL, but you could tell that she thought she was better 'cos SHE didn't have the AL problem - but she DID have the sweet problem - whereas I could take or leave sweets. Anyway, after the bowl of fruit salad, I didn't want my wine. I had another sip. then left it. Got hungry again so had another bowl of fruit salad. No more wine. Another bowl of fruit salad. no more wine. I had a total of under a half a glass of wine in two hours. It just did NOT appeal at all. It was really odd. Just wondered if anyone else has every had that happen?

Space - at the risk of boring everyone else to death - my mucky drink, the way I have it, is a banana, some fruit juice (the one I love is dole orange peach mango) almost to the top, then the green phyto all-one, and about an inch of milk. I have really cheered up and can tell it is 'cos of the mucky drink - it makes such a difference to me. Years ago I used to put brewers yeast in it too and might - MAYBE get some and start adding that too. Not sure yet - it is working so maybe not. I love it. You MUST blend it really well. can't just shake it or hand mix it - blend it!! That is awesome that you didn't finish your lager - go you !! Isn't it a wonderful feeling when that happens? Oh - I laughed when you asked what a puter is - it is a COMPUTER !!!!! And do not worry about weight - deal with the AL first - then worry about the weight!! I had a friend who lost a ton of weight on Atkins but in my opinion , it isn't a healthy way of eating (sorry!!) - especially for women - it is better for men, but all that meat isn't good for your digestive system. SORRY. Sorry. Tell me to butt out - gosh I sound like Diz now. The best way to eat is high protein but not as high protien as Atkins says. Now I am going to shut up. No I am not. Have you checked out umm - dang it - Topa brain. Can't remember the other one. There is a similar one to Atkins that is healthier. Heck. I will post it when I remember. might have to e-mail BOB (Big Old Brother) to get the name. Please feel free to tell me to butt out.

WTE - Great on the 2lbs - and the mucky drink will give you lots of nutrients and stuff - do you have the code to get the discount? As long as you blend it properly and mix it with good stuff like fruit juices and bananas it can be yummy - you can add strawberries or whatever you like. When you get it, let us know and we can come up with all manner of delicious drinks for you. You can also add protein powder to it which would give you more calories. No, I am not a stress eater either - when I get stressed I do the opposite - stop eating!! Yes, I will get my balance back before I stop again - but I am determined to stop again. I need to head back to january and find out what supps I was taking that made it so easy for me (and it really WAS easy!!!). On the plus side, I am back to my sunny self again - and think it is partly due to my mucky drink. I have been taking it again daily. I really do think it makes a difference. I was going to take my Rhodiola but gave them to a friend at work whom I thought needed them more than me. She thought I kept half the bottle but I gave them all to her !!! I am feeling good. My youngest is going to Whole Foods on Sunday and will pick me some up. Not that I need any right now.

OH - I picked up my RX for Topa today - got to LOVE having new docs! She had read my chart - I had told my previous doc that I had been taking 200mg but didn't explain that it had been in a split dose - so she (the new one) wrote the RX for 200mg - and I got....... 200mg tabs !!!!! They usually give me enough that if I choose to take 300mg a day I have enough - and in doses that I can split them - I have never had a 200mg tab!! I have to go for my follow up for the heart stuiff on the 24th April so can try and sort it out then. I am up to 200mg a day now but 150 mg am and 50mg pm. maybe I will go 200mg am in a few days ??? I can give it a few more days before I go up and have had no SE's. Who knows - it might even be someones way of helping me?

I know I haven't answered everyone and everything but my bed is calling and I have to be up so early -so must get going. Love and hugs to everyone - ESPECIALLY Play who still hasn't posted or checked in - where are you my friend???

Hi to everyone else - hugs to you all,

love, Sun XXXX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just been on Skype with BOB - the diet is the Zone diet - it has the percentages of protein and carbs and stuff - healthier than the Atkins (JUST my opinion of course) and much easier to follow and continue!!

off to work..... love and hugs,

sun X

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for the tips sun, Im not going to start another diet again, am dealing with the AL and dont want to go rescticting what I eat just now, my biggest problem with my diet is I really dont eat healthy, in fact most of the time I dont eat all day at all, just have cigs and coffee or tea until the evening when I will have a meal but even then I only cook that because of the boys, I think if I was on my own I would be worse.
The good news is I am totallly loosing my taste for coffee, I used to drink tons of it but since I cut down due to doing Atkins I havent gone back up on it. I have maybe 2 - 3 cups of a morning and thats it. I do love my tea tho, which I didnt used to reaaly likke or drink, but its better than the coffee I think and does contain antioxidants. I am slways saying that I will eat a breakfast but never stick with it so I am now having a slim fast shake, I know its not as good as healthy proper food but its better than nothing and the chocolate one is super yummy. Should I take the l glut on an empty stomach or can I mix it in with my shake? does anyone know if it would make a difference.

I am doing some drinving my daughter around this afternoon and need to go and visit my elderly aunt and uncle who I keep saying I will visit but never get round to it. In fact today is probably the worst day I can go in that its the Grand National horse race today, Im not interested in it but they are both into their horse racing but I will try and pop in and see them anyway, (even tho I know they wont want visitors today) My daughter want to come for a meal here tonight, that means no lager, my family still think Im on antabuse and Ive left them thinking that until I go to the hospital and then I might make up another lie about what I am doing, its a long story but they will not accept my doing anything but being AF, The thought of not having a lager tonight is not bothering me at the moment, in fact I wanted to start trying to have some AF days so I can just have today as one. I will see how I feel about it later tho.

Hope you all have/had a good day

xxx

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Scrap what I just said about the AF days, why am I wanting to put myself under pressure, almost as soon as I said it I wanted to put off my daughter coming and have a drink! I dont think shes coming now anyway so I will stick to my paln, it is going really well so why do I want to change it?

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All!

Space: Sun was correct. Puter = lazy typing for computer. HA! And I agree with Sun about the food diet right now. Get the AL under control (which you are doing GREAT) and deal with the weight loss a touch later.

Like you, I have gotten bad about eating correctly anymore. It’s tough not being involved in a relationship and living alone. Hard to get motivated to cook in the evenings for just myself – although I try. I’ve gotten a bit better of recent with drinking less wine, but I can’t tell you how many night I would start something and then end up drinking wine, few smokes and totally forget I had made something and was no longer hungry. ACK. But last night I had Jasmine rice with tons of steamed veggies and it hit the spot.

And …. Bought that bottle of wine at 3 PM and poured the 4th glass out this morning! Really thought for sure I would finish that bottle but by glass 3 and L-Glut – it really was just not calling to me all that much so I set it aside and drank lemon water instead and went to bed. Love those little victories!

As for the L-Glut, I take it on an empty stomach all the time. Make my coffee and it’s usually shortly after I have my one cup that the calling starts so it’s just easier to toss back that tiny amount in the glass. In my head it’s more concentrated and starts working faster for any cravings – but I certainly could be way off.

Sun: Went back on the All-One site and was looking at values of vitamins in each. The green doesn’t have as much calcium as I feel I should be taking because of the L-Glut, but I guess it would be a start! No, I don’t have a coupon and lost my book years ago. Any other method of getting one. And WHY is the green so much more expensive than the “original” formula? Not that I really care now that I have cut my wine budget in half! HA!

Good on you for the non-wine party! HA! YES! I had that happen to me during my last “success” with Topa. I was with a Happy Hour Group I belong too. (good group to belong to huh? HA!) Was there with toms of friends and ordered a glass of wine. It just did not taste good – not that the wine was “off” or anything – it just was not hitting the spot. Someone next to me ordered a Margarita – so I ordered one of those instead. One or two sips – nope. Didn’t want that either and gave it to my friend and ordered a cranberry vodka. One sip and nada. I was there with my “buddy” (yes the guy) who is one of the few people in the world that knows I have this “issue” and he was looking at me like I had two heads. HA! He knew I was taking Topa, but was still shocked. After about 2 hours we left and I had drunk less than 1 unit. It was weird – just did not “feel” like it.

I felt a touch of that last night about half way through glass 3 – it was a take it or leave it feeling. I did finish glass 3 with my dinner but had zero desire to empty that bottle. Oh my, I can’t wait to back to feeling that more often! Topa is not knocking me over the head this time but is slowly doing “something” and I personally find it amazing that just 4 weeks ago I was drinking twice the amount I am now and for the most part it has not been much of a struggle. Few touch and go moments – but I would not call them white knuckling by any means.

Amazing you got 200 mg pills! I am still going to have to buy from River. Wish I could figure a way around that – but I just don’t dare have this on my records in any shape or form. *sigh* I’ve thought about claiming migraines …. Shezzz.

Ok – off to get my day started. The thunderstorms seem over for the time being although it’s still quite nippy outside.

Hello to all who have been a bit quiet of late. Where are you guys??? We miss you!

WTE

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WOW WTE throwing the glass of wine away, good stuff.

I am having a bit of a funny (not haha) evening with the lager. I didnt feel like any at all until about 7.30 when I started feeling like a glass of wine would be nice, most of my benders in the past have started with a bottle of wine which has then turned into a bottle of wodka the next day so I want to steer clear of wine, but I have my lager in ready so I poured a glass of lager, I drank that one and immediately felt like I wanted more, I mean lots more, I had some l glut and carried on making dinner. After dinner I have poured another glass then put it down and forgot about it for a while and I have just drank it, but now I want more again, mind you a few nights ago I had over 2 cans and in the grand scheme of things what the hell am I going on about, really!!! This is what I have decided to do, is not to white knucklle and allow myself to have the 2 lagers a night if I want them, my problem is that after so many years trying and failing with being AF I am still getting used to this.

Today I was convinced I was cured and would never worry about drink again

Baby steps are best, thats the way I want to learn

xxx