New here and starting Topa and with a question

[mama bear]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

can I play here??
I am not taking Topa, but I just started Campral....
Mu sweet Sunnu Butt loves it here and it feels nice, polite,loving and safe.
I don't want to intrude, though.
MB
and Wildflowers....thanks for your lovely post...:h
and inquiring minds want to know...did he call yet Houtx??:H

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Now THATS the Houtx I know! Full of life and cheekiness. You go girl! Am so glad I'm an inspiration even though I caved but I think this could be a lesson for everyone (see below to make sense of this) I had a bit of a smile at your 'come to Jesus' remark. Its true though!

You arent going to tell me why you chose your username, are you?

At the risk of having my head bitten off, when you come to this thread, make sure you are signed in before you post and make sure you have clicked remember me. Then type your message in this box here - as long as you like but before you click the post button

• Cick on Edit (it is in the top left hand corner of the screen second from the left) and then Copy
• Then if it makes you sign in againSimply Click on the Quick reply button again, and then on on Edit and then PasteNo need for Word or expletives

Otherwise I'll do this: :b&d:

Sorry, LOL, I've always wanted to use that pic, but never had a reason. It is very odd indeed.

Welcome Poka hon, sorry I didnt welcome you last night, I was in a bit of a state. I am usually much better behaved. I don't have the loss of word thing. In fact the only SE I have is tingly feet and I take grape seed extract for that. I am a big believer in a good multivitamin though, so this could be preventing me from getting some of the other nasties. I was a bit tired the first two weeks and my tummy was a bit upset from time to time for the first month.

Space, so excited for your part for the gardening and sprouts. I hope its stops raining there, it started here now as well! My brother, smart as he is, electrical engineer and all, said the funniest thing the other day. We brought back some seedlings from the market and I left it outside. He said: "You better bring those in in case it starts raining." ROTFLMBO (TM Sunnybutt)

Yello, Mama bear,. :welcome:
Sure you can. The more the merrier. Hows the Campral treating you?

As for drinking, if any of you abbers are missing it - don't! I can honestly say that I have not gained anything from it. Yes Topa has allowed me to drink without the obsession but last night I went on a bender intentionally as my bf was a royal asshole.

:alf:

He has the EQ of a 3 year old and called me fat and hairy! - nice! I had to use all my strength not to say: Well you can perhaps fix your x and your x but you will always have a dark black soul!

Anyway so drinking has not made me relaxed or charming. It made me more stressed out, forgetful, less energetic, more paranoid, made me leave my laptop outside, made me fall asleep with the light on, made me type emails I should not have had, and has left me with a hangover today. So I may go back on the wagon sooner than Tuesday.

Although I hated the Allan Car book - Easy Way to Control Your Drinking (sorry Sun but the guy just keeps telling you that he is going to tell you something great and then he just tell you to stop and not to question it - duh!) But I agree with him that alcohol is just a nasty poison or like Determinator said in the other thread - grape flavored poison.

So don't come over to the dark side, its not nice over here. :eeew:

Lots of hugs and love all around.

:h:X:h

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Now THATS the Houtx I know! Full of life and cheekiness. You go girl! Am so glad I'm an inspiration even though I caved but I think this could be a lesson for everyone (see below to make sense of this) I had a bit of a smile at your 'come to Jesus' remark. Its true though!

You arent going to tell me why you chose your username, are you?

At the risk of having my head bitten off, when you come to this thread, make sure you are signed in before you post and make sure you have clicked remember me. Then type your message in this box here - as long as you like but

Before you click the post button:

• Select all your text
• Cick on Edit (it is in the top left hand corner of the screen second from the left) and then Copy
• Then if it makes you sign in againSimply Click on the Quick reply button again, and then on on Edit and then PasteNo need for Word or expletives

Otherwise I'll do this: :b&d:

Sorry, LOL, I've always wanted to use that pic, but never had a reason. It is very odd indeed.

Welcome Poka hon, sorry I didnt welcome you last night, I was in a bit of a state. I am usually much better behaved. I don't have the loss of word thing. In fact the only SE I have is tingly feet and I take grape seed extract for that. I am a big believer in a good multivitamin though, so this could be preventing me from getting some of the other nasties. I was a bit tired the first two weeks and my tummy was a bit upset from time to time for the first month.

Space, so excited for your part for the gardening and sprouts. I hope its stops raining there, it started here now as well! My brother, smart as he is, electrical engineer and all, said the funniest thing the other day. We brought back some seedlings from the market and I left it outside. He said: "You better bring those in in case it starts raining." ROTFLMBO (TM Sunnybutt)

I'm going to do some research on how many people are affected by the eye and hairloss thing. Both of these SE are gradual and stop once you stop the Topa and I won't research this to convince you but to show everyone who visit this site what the chances are of getting this. I don't like the fact that the possibility of this puts so many people off.

I never realised that when I complain about my mom you may be getting perspective on how your daughters feel, if that makes sense. I understand my mom cant help it and the only thing I havent forgiven her for (yet) are the two suicide attempts, simply because I can't imagine my life without her. When she is v bad I often just rent a chick flick for us and we lie on the couches and eat chocolate while we watch it. No effort required. :l

Yello, Mama bear,. :welcome:
Sure you can. The more the merrier. Hows the Campral treating you?

As for drinking, if any of you abbers are missing it - don't! I can honestly say that I have not gained anything from it. Yes Topa has allowed me to drink without the obsession but last night I went on a bender intentionally as my bf was a royal asshole.

:alf:

He has the EQ of a 3 year old and called me fat and hairy! - nice! I had to use all my strength not to say: Well you can perhaps fix your x and your x but you will always have a dark black soul!

Anyway so drinking has not made me relaxed or charming. It made me more stressed out, forgetful, less energetic, more paranoid, made me leave my laptop outside, made me fall asleep with the light on, made me type emails I should not have had, and has left me with a hangover today. So I may go back on the wagon sooner than Tuesday.

Although I hated the Allan Car book - Easy Way to Control Your Drinking (sorry Sun, but the guy just keeps telling you that he is going to tell you something great and then he just tell you to stop and not to question it - duh!) But I agree with him that alcohol is just a nasty poison or like Determinator said in the other thread - grape flavored poison.

So don't come over to the dark side, its not nice over here. :eeew:

Lots of hugs and love all around.

:h

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I found the following on an official looking medial epilepsy website. Yes, Topamax was developed to be an Epilepsy drug. Well, I read somewhere that it was first developed as a weight loss drug but I'm not sure if that is true. It does apparently cause weight loss in about 17% of people though.

"A very small number of people treated with Topamax developed an eye condition like glaucoma. If you experience blurred vision or difficulty seeing that comes on quickly, perhaps with eye pain, notify your doctor immediately. These symptoms usually occurred during the first month of treatment. If action is taken promptly (including stopping the Topamax), the symptoms will go away.

In adults, at least 1 percent of people taking Topamax for migraines reported hair loss, although the exact percentage was not reported. Given how common hair loss is in the general population, it is difficult to say whether it is caused by the medicine, genetics, other factors, or a combination of these things.

If you experience hair loss with Topamax, talk with your healthcare provider. Depending on how severe the hair loss is, he or she may be able to recommend treatment options. If your symptoms continue to be bothersome, or if your healthcare provider believes the medicine is causing your hair loss, he or she may recommend trying another medicine for your condition."

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for doing the reserch Dizzy, Im still paraniod about it tho, bizzar but its only by reading on here that I learned about those se's, otherwise I may well have already tried it, and then having read about them I started googling them and really scared myself. I have started on the higher dose of the serequel that the psychiatrist recommended now so I will see what happens there. I know its crap about the gabapentin but nothing I can do, I noticed when I take it my breathing is much worse than when I dont so I know it is causing it.

Hi MB lovely to see you here. I used to take Campral, it was the only med for drinking that my doc would prescribe, it did help but I was just taking that for a while and my mind set wasnt right.

Its crap you got drunk last night and have the hangover now dizzy, at least it has reminded you why you want to not drink. I had 1 can last night, dont even know why, yes I do Im scared of getting back to the feeling deprived state.

Houtx, doesnt that mean Houston Texas? you saucy minx!!! good for you, you must be feeling good to even think about doing that

Polka it will be day 2 on topa for you, please keep us updated I want to know everything.

Sun I am sending my thoughts for you to be ok today.

I hope everyone has a good day and weekend xxx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning everyone - WELCOME Polkadot and Jan!!! Lovely to see you here!! I am getting ready for work and will catch up at the other end of my shift!! Mimi - commis. to you on the drinking - but you know what - you get back on the horse! Lorry loads of love and hugs to ALL. Houtx - dying to know if he called.......

Back later,

love, Sun XX

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello Friends,

WTE, I had to LOL about the WTF. No I wasn't directing that to u. It was about me losing my post. I had to many windows open, was copying pasting on other things & 4got what I was doing, e-mailing, etc. So I was ticked at myself, but didn't realize it at 1st. I know the 1st few days I was here & peeps replied back 2 me, I was withdrawing from the alcohol & my mind was so out of it, all I saw was WTF. When really it was WF. I thought people were being rude. At least you know that wasn't the case. At least I hope u know that. Glad your still meeting your goals!.... Hope the sun has been out & you've had time to enjoy some of it, that it hasn't just been all work, work, work.

Houtx, Your post has made my morning full of sunshine on a rainy day. Really!.... You Go Girl!!.... Not only did the Universe line up & the damn timer didn't kick u off this site, as your posts actually posted. Cause I didn't know what the heck I was going to say. I was going 2 let DB handle this. This is her area of expertise! I love the whole thing from start to finish with what happened with Mr. Handsome. Wait..... Let's not say Finish...... You have guts!!!! That T-Shirt. LMAO. I Love It. When I was younger my BFF & I flirted with these two hotties in a black corvette on the Hwy. We got off the exit & they gave us a flyer to their Hawaiian Luau Party. We went to this big party on the hill. Whole roasted pig ( Sorry to our Veggie Friends) ) live DJ, indoor pool. Probably one of the most memorable parties ever. Thanks 4 making me think of those fun times from long ago. I so hope u get a call back!... May the Universe line up for u!!!!..... Don't know how junior high or high school teachers do their jobs, esp in today's world. Good thing next month there's a Holiday, then after that school will be out. Getting to be that time of yr when teachers & students just want it to be over. I volunteered public schools for nine yrs, I remember.

Sunny, Glad to see a post from you. Hope your heart will soon begin to mend. Take as much time as u need. Hopefully, work will take your mind off things. Hugs

Mimi, I can't tell you how many millions of times I asked myself why!.... I lost track. Wondered why would I punish myself? What was I getting out of this. Can u write a list of pros & cons? I asked somebody this once & they said that's what Alcoholic's do until they don't. I was rather stunned, didn't know what 2 say. But, 4 some weird reason I remember this. I'm a little weird tho. hahaha @ me I don't know if ur an alcoholic. That is for u to decide. I just know that I am. It's not my fault!!!! I also finally realized that I needed 2 accept this medical fact or I would surely die!!!!!!....... Takes the pressure off myself by admitting this. Acceptance is the key for myself & many others who are alcoholic. It's so hard hun!... I understand, I really do! I still miss the buzz some days. But most of the time I drank, I couldn't stop at just a couple, I'd get bloody drunk. I was always trying to control my drinking. There were times I could, but then inevitably I'd lose control again & again & again....... My brain doesn't work like normies. But, I'm stubborn!................! The Topa has helped me so so much with the physical part of alcoholism ~ addiction. Are u taking Topamax? Just don't give up!!!!!. Life Is Worth Living!!!!!...... Hugs

MB, You silly girl. Of course your welcome here! DB, reminds me that I don't have 2 walk on egg shells over here. Everybody is welcome here! We don't have a monopoly on this board or own this site! I know it's a med board. Hey, & your taking a med, so even more reason 2 post over here. Campral is a bit like Topa & I'd like to hear how it's working for u. Glad you here!!!... PS. Having sleeping issues too.

PolkaDot, Yes, I think the Topa made all of us tired in the beginning. I think 4 myself the 1st wk maybe two. Play has a gd point. However, if u get hired at ur Interview on the spot, which depends on a # of factors u may not have a chance to test it out. Please make sure u drink plenty of water. I do have a concern that u r taking Sam-E, 5 -HTP, Evening Primrose oil, Gaba Powder & now Topamax. That's a lot to be mixing with. Not sure how your Neurotransmitters are going to accept all these products? I'm sure your very bright & know what ur doing, but please b careful!.... If not already, u may want to consult with a Naturopathic Dr. There is a forum here named Holistic Healing, maybe somebody there can advise if u want an extra opinion about this. Yesterday 4-got 2 say that never had headaches last x on topa. Only a couple this time, but now think it's caused from allergies. It's Spring here & pollen is everywhere, plus hubby has had them. PS. A few pgs back DB posted a link from ages ago, regarding a survey about dosage & side effects. If ur interested.

Play, Yep, all these years of being a caretaker. It started early for me. My dear Mama had so many health issues mental & physical. As a child I often felt like the parent. So, I learned to be a people pleaser, then later a rebel. One of the reasons I wrote that I don't expect people to read my long posts or reply to them, is that I do understand on many levels people just simply don't have time. I write them 2 get them out of my head & maybe somebody will relate, therefore helping me & possibly them. When u wrote that u needed to do ur part, I sensed that u felt obligated or guilty. Maybe I'm way off base. It's so often hard 2 tell what others r thinking from electronic communications. Just last wk my oldest daughter & I were going back & fourth texting & the whole thing got so over blown & was frustrating, cause we didn't understand what we were both trying 2 say. It was really about some trival thing to. Plus people have different styles of communicating as well. Thus complicating things even more. Notice that I put me 1st, then them. This is part of learning the difference between self care verses selfishness. Something that has always confused me. I learned where this came from long ago. Getting others to love me was based on how well I performed. Needing peoples approval. I know this is unhealthy co-dependent behavior. I'm working on it. Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm just happy to be sober & working on personal growth. I do take time out to have fun as well. Balance, balance, balance........ This is the target...... Not a tightrope. It doesn't have 2 be perfect! For that is an illusion!......

Space, Great that u had 1 day AF!.... I know what u mean about that damn emotion fear. Wished it could just be used for its primitive state. It's hard being human with all these emotions. Being female we are generally programmed 2 feel them at more intense levels then males. I was taught that fear means we r either afraid were going to lose something we have, or not get something we want. As u spoke of feeling deprived after having just one beer. I went thru this struggle with alcohol & other things so many times, I'd sometimes wished my head would just fall off. When this happens I have to change my perspective, my thoughts. Which ultimately may change my behavior. I believe they r correct to a certain point. I look at my sobriety as gift not a threat. It's still early on & I have days where I feel deprived & I most likely always will to some degree. So, I'm just going to have to accept that this is how its going to be & that with time it will ease. The ones who've traveled farther than I have repeatedly said this. Then next wk. My crazy head may change it's mind. Will need to practice ODAAT!!!...... I hope ur increase of meds this wk will provide u with some much needed relief. If this continues & continues..... Perhaps, u might think of getting a 2nd opinion. Finding the right combination of meds takes so much time. I hope ur Dr. finds them soon for u, so that u find peace& happiness!..

DB, I knew your goal was for a month or so. Look u did that. Yeah! Drank, found out that it wasn't good. Know why u did & r already back on track. Woo Hoo for u girl!!!!.... What an inspiration u can be 2 others!!!!!. I think ur awesome!!!!!!! If u get tired of the career your in. You can move to the states. Specifically Hollywood, star in Comedy's. Thank you 4 making all of us laugh! Your such a Joymaker!!!!...... Super Smart, Talented, Gifted Gardner, Just A Beautiful Woman!!!!... I love you!!!!... I'm so proud of you & womanhood. Thank you for telling that A-hole to F-off. You remind me on many levels of my 1st born. Her & I are such great friends now. She will be 27 next month. Never new r relationship would blossom into what it is today. I feel very blessed!!!!....

One of your DizzyBee's has invited Wildflowers to take a flight to the UK with the rest of the Hive & swarm that nasty mean ex of yours & teach him a lesson in how to treat a beautiful woman. Instead of frequent flyer miles, their offering free pollination for a yr.

Have a great day peeps! :l

Namaste,

Wildflowers

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I have been on this site most of this day. It keeps me from emailing nasty replies to the bf. Discovering this site is probably the best thing that ever happened to me, no kidding. Well that and the topa.

Today I have laughed with people and cried with some but most of all just remembered how much better life is without AL. Yes, I can have one drink with topa but it’s not a miracle drug. It can’t take away a lot of the bad character defects AL brings out in me. I wanted to get pissed and I did and you know what, it wasn’t fun. I felt out of control, I felt forgetful, I said stuff I shouldn’t have, and that whole addict part of my brain still woke up. Not the have another drink part necessarily. But the cancel your fun appointments and rather stay in your room and have a pity party. Pffft.

At least my period started today so my mood is on the up and up! :bananacomputer:

Space, you are smart with the houtx thing, I never thought of that. Doh!

Wildflowers, you're such a sweetheart. I hope your husband and family know how lucky they are to have you. :l

Not sure about Hollywood. Especially as I'm known to be fat and hairy. LOL. Don't be so hard on the poor ex. He has the emotional capability of a 3 year old. I was upset last night but mostly because of the AL and PMS. I hit him where it hurts because I told him I can't be with him if he can't make steps to drink less and take responsibility for his actions. So he is really hurting right now and the only way he knows how to respond is to try and hurt me back by telling me about my physical imperfections.

Yes, I have some more kilos to lose but you know what I have already lost 14kgs in the last year, so only 10 to go to goal weight! Also, I am well aware I have more facial hair than most women because of hormone issues but some laser issues will zap those babies right off. As for being emotionally retarded, being in denial about your drinking problem and blaming the whole world for your problems? I don't know of any known cosmetic procedure for that... Lots of love would help but being a prize asshole tend to keep that at bay.

When I was in rehab though I was known to be the 'resident shrink' and I truly believe I am a good listener. I could not consider this before because of the depression but if the topa keeps working its wonders and I can get a year AF under my belt I will perhaps consider becoming a life couch specialising in addiction counselling. Sobriety is supposed to be the gift that keeps on giving after all. Baby steps though... And I will need at least a year free of the grape flavoured poison.

Your thoughts cheered me up but I'm a big girl and I actually thanked him for saying those things. I said "Thank you, I do l still love you but this email just made it a bit easier for me. Did insulting me make you feel better? You have the emotional intelligence of a toddler and I'm so glad you made this choice for me as you obviously love clinging to your resentments glass in hand more than you do me you f@cking asshole but much as I'd like I won’t revert to telling you off in terms of your body/hair/penis size."

OK it wasn't perfectly nice but I'm not saint!

As Sun would say - lorry loads of love to everyone!

XOX

[mama bear]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

you guys crack me up....
DB...I am sorry he hurt you.,
My hubs told me this morning that I was childish and ridiculous...it stung and I told him to use nicer adjectives...but we are over it now. I think when you are with someone a long time, you forget to filter your words and will say anything...maybe we just get lazy
No noticeable SE's from Campral..YAY...Topa and Bac made me miserable.
Thanks for the sweet welcome Wildflowers...and SUn - you know how much I love you.
I am enjoying getting to know everyone and I apologize if I miss someone.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

No worries about the bf, MB, one less frog to kiss on my way to prince charming. A bit like alcohol cessation drugs, no? Pete knows, I have had my share of bad luck with pills. Topamax is the first drug to work for my depression so I have tried about 10 others, each of them making me sick in their own little way.

Glad you and hubbie worked through that. We can sometimes say things before we think and it is always good to have a guard at our mouths no matter how well we know someone.

So how does the Campral work? I don't think any of us know anything about it. Although, actually Space did say she used to take it. Also if you are open to sharing, are you taking anything else?

I get a bit testy on some of the other threads when people question why I use drugs to help me with AL. First of all Topa is RXed for me because I have Bipolar. Secondly, I would not consider going it alone if I had diabetes or cancer and I do believe that alcoholism is a disease. So only treating it with counselling may seem like the honest thing to do but I believe you should do anything you can to help you.

DB

[mama bear]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I 100% percent agree DB. I am a breast cancer survivor and treatment decisions were made by me and hubs...why wouldn't alcoholism be the same??
I take Paxil for depression....I have battled low grade depression for years. My plan is to wean off all meds after some good sober time
I have antabuse and Campral. The trick to AB is you have to tak it....DUH!!!!
Bipolar is a bitch and I hate that for you...I really do.
Campral is said to help reduce cravings with all the SE's of Topa and Bac...and as I said earlier.....those two meds made me miserable. I despise not being alert.
I will check in later, but I need to get dinner going....three carniverous teens are here.....Sunni knows how big my Clay is...she has hung out with him!!

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OK, can we have a show of hands how many breast cancer survivors we have here? I now know of 3 but there may be more. You guys are such an inspiration and symbol of strength. :thumbs:

Don't worry too much about my bipolar label. I don't swing so I preferred to call myself treatment resistant depressive. Its only since discovering Topa that I agree with the doc about the soft spectrum bipolar. My mom has it bad. I just had a black veil over me for a very long time and its gone - for now at least and hopefully forever.

I hated taking Bac and especially Nal but I'm taking AB (well will start again on Tue) and Topa. The trick with AB is to rather get smaller dosages and take it every day. Do not skip days as your addict brain will start playing games as in skip one more day... Also I take mine when I wake up as my addict sleeps in a bit but then AB doesnt give me any noticable SE so its easy for me to do. Some people even get their hubbies to give them AB with their morning coffee as a ritual.

OK, its sleepy time for Dizz. Good luck with dinner MB. Love your username by the way. I'm a writer so words and names fascinate me. Its both cool and unfair that you get to hang out with Sunnybutt.

Speaking of :rays:, she's been very quiet today. I hope she's OK.

:l

[PolkaDot]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Lots of great new postings since I last checked! I only have a few moments as I am studying for a big certification exam on Monday.

Playland - Thank you for the welcome! I weighed whether or not to start the Topa and took my first dose yesterday so if it screws up my interview or future interviews it is their loss. Besides, it occured to me that at my age and with so many years of drinking under my belt I often find myself at a loss for words anyways. I will just try to be extra prepared with answers.

Dizz - Thanks for the welcome and no worries! Hope you are having a better day today! Great info on the Topa side effects!

Wildflowers - I did think about the variety of supplements that I have here. Actually, I splurged on a little of everything so that I could see what works best. I take the SAMe in the morning and the 5HTP at night to help me sleep. Actually been taking Primrose oil off an on for awhile as it helps with occasional hair loss caused by my thyroid issues. Been doing just a small dose of GABA in the middle of the day. Will back off one or more of these supplements if I find that I experience any undesirable SE with the Topa to see if it helps.

So this evening I am counting down to a full week being AF! Feeling pretty darn good but proceeding with caution. I tend to operate on a rewards system so will have to stay focused as to not celebrate my first week with a bottle. Maybe I will read my daughter the "Little Engine that Could" this evening to help me keep my eye on the prize!

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Girls, wonderful to see everyone, as I say, I always keep up with the posts but haven't been posting as much as I used to. Wildflowers interesting that you picked up on what I said about needing to do my part. I guess I have been pretty discouraged about drinking again without the Topa, worried that it won't work again like it did before, and very mentally tired since the diagnosis of our baby with the genetic syndrome.

So, I think I have just not had the energy to post much but when I read all the posts, I feel like I am getting the benefit of everyones energy and not putting any of my own into it and I do know that the reason the thread is still going strong is because everyone does take some time to post.

I'm still waiting on the new topa and am excited to start again. Happily the baby is home and doing well and the doctors say that the outlook for this condition is really much more positive than in the past when kids weren't diagnosed until they were a few years old or even adults. Now the standard treatment is to start growth hormone even in infancy and luckily these kids aren't mentally disabled, they are just as bright as any other kid just have things that require lifelong management and alot depends on the family being committed to it. So, she is adorable and we have high hopes for the future and I'm starting to feel better about everything.

Hi Dizz, have been getting to know you thru your posts and as you said you really don't know me too well because I haven't been posting much. I started posting in December of 2011 around page 149 and was on all the time. If you have the time to read a bit from there on you can get a feel for my history. I know it's alot to ask but I don't have the energy right now to do such indepth posting like I did at that time, but I would love for you to take a look back when you have time. Topa was a miracle for me and I wanted to stay on it forever and then got caught without it when I had to go to Spain for the problems with my daughters pregnancy and the premature birth of the baby, and now I am back to drinking just as much as before and oh so so tired of it again.

Ok that's it for now, hi MB, WTE, HOUTX, SUN, SPACE, POLKA and I know I'm leaving people out but I'm thinking of you and sending Light, Love and Joy to each of you. I'm planning to be a regular part of the thread again.

play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OKAY - finally getting to post!!!! Had a very hairy ride home from work - storm that was jusy awful - it felt like my car was being hit with a baseball bat, by hail stones! I couldn't even see the front of my car the rain was so bad and I had to stop in the middle of the road! I have never driven in such bad weather. Finally crawled along at 5 mph until I could pull over and wait it out. I drive a saturn SVU and they have dent proof cars and apart from a few small dents on the roof, it is fine. i took pics of the golf ball size hail stones that were still in my garden when I got home - after about 20 mins!!

Anyway! To try and reply - oh gosh - so much to reply to.

Play - lovely to see you here - I am so pleased the baby is home and doing as well as can be expected - I will be pleased for you when you get your Topa but you MUST be careful with it!!! but you know that. It is just great to see you post - I know it is overwhelming when you come here after a while not posting - there are so many posts but it is best to just jump in and post!

Oh - gosh - my daughter just called so it is about half an HOUR LATER NOW. so little TIME. Polka Dot - I already welcomed you - a feel as if I am going round in circles right now - so much going on!! I really don't think taking Topa right now will screw up interviews. When I first started taking Topa - it did nothing at all to me - NOTHING !!!! I sometimes think it is thinking it might so something that causes it to do something. I wasn't expecting it to do anything as we didn't have this thread then - and it did nothing. I hadn't read anything about the SE''s as I thought by reading about them it would be inviting them. So, I did fione with them. Hope you do well too.

Diz - I am fine - was working today and have had a lot going on. SO many e-mails to reply to and a lot to contend with in other ways as well. I have been trying to get my head around losing ben - Hubs wants us to get another dog which I am fine with so am looking into that too - but evverything takes SO much time. I have had friends apart from this web site that I have had to e-mail and my children that needed time too - there is just not enough time in the day...... Oh - and Jan's Clay is a sweetie - he is a pain in the rear at times but is a big sweetie pie most of the time. :l:l

Space - I am jumping around on our thread - but saw that you drank too much too - I can relate - you said I was brave to help with the doggy op - no I wasn't - my vet Tim, assumed I would - LOL - and I was fine with it - not that one was anything to do with the other but they were posted together - LOL. Sorry - but trying to reply to so many posts is going to be hard!!!

Yes Diz - the other thread was SO hard - it really gutted me - I do not do well with any sort of unpleasantness so just sort of shy away - it just turns my tummy over. The whole things finally seems to be finished with but the whole lot has left a bad taste in everyones mouth.

Wild - your post about your dogs and ther happenings really resonated with me. I do not for one minute think you are looney - hey - I saw my dads spirit leave his body a few minutes before he died so trust me - you are defintely NOT looney!!! I was so happy to read of all that you said - I know that Maggie and Ben are together at the Rainbow Bridge. I think your experience wIth your chocolate lab was awesome. I so believe all of what you said. :l:l

Diz - you asked how the topa is doing for me right now. I hae gone up on it and I think I am drinking over it. I am on 250mg a day. 'Nuff said. HUbs is being really good about everything - he was worried sick about me last week and then with Ben this week -well, it has been bad for both of us. However, I have been online tonight and might be going to see a puppy tomorrow. No more for now.......no, we are not going to get get two - we already have one left - daisy, who is so sweet - she is two sandwiches short of a picnic and is oblivious of everything but is a sweetie. She is a rescue and is deaf and has thyroid problems and has no idea what goes on half the time - I don't even think she knows that ben has gone!! And no, I won't be totally irresponsible re the drink - I think that is what you were asking me? I did overdo for a day or two though - LOL

I KNOW I haven't posted to everyone -Houtx - I haven't posted to you - or WTE - I am sorry - but it is 9.00 and the storms are raging around us and the sirens are going off and I am going to get off the computer. Will continue tomorrow when the weather is better.

Love and hugs to all,

love, Sun XXX