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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Morning Diz - sorry we aren't all posting as much - yes, I am fine now thanks - everything is all behind us and we are all moving forwards!! No, I work all weekend - two of the managers are off so it is my turn to work this weekend - both days - closing tonight and open tomorrow, but the open is an 8.00 going in, so isn't that bad.

    Re posting here SO much - I try to keep up with it, but months ago, only used to post every few days, and if I am honest, do find it hard to post every day........ but try!! LOL

    So sorry about the POS - that can be so painful I have heard - what are you doing about it? We have books in the store about it and I had a lady in the other day buying up a load of different books on it...... poor you - just what you didn't need.

    Mimi - laughed at you buying sexy shoes but not having anything to wear with them - what a picture THAT conjured up!!

    Last14 - so sorry for the trouble you are having with your son - it is SO hard when our children have problems isn't it? you want to sort it for them - but it is the same as with us - THEY have to want to deal wuth it and do it themselves. I do hope things improve for you - my heart goes out to you for what you are going through. One can easily drink over the Topa if he wants to - so it isn't an easy fix......

    I am off to water the garden - supposed to get a 30% chance of rain today - if I water we will get it, if I don't we won't - so am going to water anyway! LOL

    Hugs, Sun XX
    How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Hi everyone.

      I was taking topa for a little over a month and at 75mg, stopped drinking completely. I felt bettter, but was kinda cranky at times.

      Anyway, I fell of the wagon big time. I went to the store, bought beer...don't have any excuse or reason and didn't have a desire....just a nice sunny day and my brain said just one. Funny, because I walked out to my car and back in the house 3 times before I gave in. That was 3 weeks ago and I am back to drinking 16-24 beers daily....I stopped the topa the first day I took the drink...but I take it at night so basically I was too drunk to remember....well then the cycle began.

      I have been drinking already today...it's only 10am, but it was my stupid, alcohol saturated brain that told me the only way to feel better with this hangover is a beer...so I did...dumb I know.

      Anyway, my question is, since I take the topa at night, can I start it again tonight even through I drank? I know my dr. asked if I had anything to drink while on it in the beginning and I was like...I could have???? who knew....I was too scared to mix it with alcohol, so I just didn't and it didn't take long for it to kick in for me.

      Any advice? I was doing so well, and for no reason, f***d up. What is WRONG with me?

      Just feel desperate..:upset:

      Thanks, Tammy

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Dizzy you are like the Headmistress who keeps us all in line, when you wernt there we all started misbehaving :H

        Will you get medication for the POS, a docotr told my daughter they wanted to test her for it and she wont go back, she is to scared to get the diagnosis but I keep on telling her she needs to find out about it.

        There is so much gone on in this thread and I have been here, just not so much, we didnt get away for the weekend, my mum wasnt feeling good and my eldest son said he didnt want to go so that just left me and my youngest son and with me having my back bad and not being able to stand or walk for long it wouldnt have been much fun for him. I am dissapointed I would have loved just the two of us to go to get to spend some time with him.

        I am always very envious of people who can speak different languages, I have been to so many Spanish classes and never really managed to learn much at all, its worse then because when I go to Spain and speak to someone in Spanish they go and answer me, and I dont have a clue what they are saying.:H

        Sun is it a bookshop you work in, and do you work there or own it, you have probably said but I have forgotten, again Im glad you are ok and moving forward from the upset you have had lately.

        Last your sons doc sounds like an arse, does he have a reason to not prescribe the meds that could help your son stop drinking until he has stopped drinking without them. If he could just do that he would have done it already. You say he has binges so maybe he could go between binges and just lie about the amount of time he hasnt drank

        How are you doing today Az, keep us updated I am thinking of you, has the stoned feeling worn off yet, there are a few threads about bac but I cant think of anyone just starting right now, and its hard for me to remember how I felt when I was taking such low doses, but I can remember my daughter accusing me of being stoned and getting quite paraniod about it. It remineded me of why I could never be a pot head, even tho I tried pot as a substitue for drink plenty of times it just never worked. dont know what thats got to do with your situation,nothing really I just thinking with my fingers again, I think Ive taken that up as a substitute for talking to myself :H

        Houxt, Play, and WTE where are you, Miss Dizzy is back so I hope youve all got a letter to explain yourselves:H

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Hi Tammy. In short - yes, you can drink while on Topa. If you are going to start it again, you need to start at the 25mg dose and work your way up again. I have tried jumping in at a higher dose and it does not work. The Topa doesn't work for me until I get to at least 250 - 300 mg daily. So do continue to drink until it kicks in. NOT that I am saying drink - you get what I am saying - LOL It makes no difference if you are drinking on it or not - which is a shame. you can drink over the Topa too - one has to have some modicum of will power when you get to the point where the Topa 'works' for you. I am sorry you drank once it was working for you, but I did the same thing so know where you are coming from. And had to start ALL OVER AGAIN. And here I am. Hopefully to the point where I am stopping again. I am down to 2-3 a night though. We all mess up, so stop beating yourself up, think positive and move forward instead of looking back. Loads of support here my friend - it is good that the Topa works for you. So, just start again at the beginning and listen to the Topa. If you have any more questions, post - read, ask....... PM me if you want to. I wish you all the best :l

          Sun X
          How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            cross post Space - hi there :l
            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Yay Dizzyso glad you are back and yes this thread is rather boring without you.

              As for me and my hubby going to couples therapy that is something he would never do. If given an ultimatum between divorce or therapy he would have to choose divorce. I honestly think it's like a fobia of his. Like people that can't leave their house, or are terrified of heights. Intimate talks are the same for him.

              He could still be more affectionate, spend more time together, do more small talk, etc... but he just doesn't do these things. When we do go on vacations together he is a lot of fun and is a completely different person. We still don't have those intimate talks but we have fun and we laugh together. To bad we aren't like that all the time.

              Well, I am falling asleep while typing but wanted to check in with all of you.

              b.t.w. i am taking the topa 75mg a day. i decided i hadn't been off of it very long so I went back up to 75 rather quickly without any problems. 25 in the a.m. and 50 in the p.m.
              :hitme:
              Day 1:4/4/2014

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Hi guys (well gals, but you know what I mean)

                A big shout out to all the mothers today. I hope your children spoil you. Its the most important job in the world. :h

                I've been feeling down all weekend and I feel like drinking. I didn't get out of bed yesterday and now today I have to go to my other brothers house to celebrate his and my mothers birthday and mothers day and everyone will be drinking but me. I feel like breaking an arm just in order to give this one a skip.

                I don't know, I was just doing so well until the POS came along and sucked up my money and now I'm broke and having to deal with bf head on and having to take Metformin which is giving me a new bunch of side effects and it just feels like everything I worked for is in vain and I might as well have kept drinking as I'm right where I started off.

                Mimi, perhaps Sunny can give you some advice? I definitely can't offer marriage or even relationship advice. I quite liked Dr Phil's book Relationship Rescue and that other one Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus, perhaps you can pick up some tips on how to better understand his side of things or how to find ways to get him to please you without making him uncomfortable? I'm glad you're back on the Topa, I think you were doing well, and as some people mod on it, don't be too hard on yourself if you slip up once or twice. It does make it much easier to stay on the wagon though.

                Space, lol, funny that the youngest one is the headmistress. But fine, I will be that as long as I'm aloud to hand out corporal punishment. It sucks about your weekend and your back and your oven... Its basically why I've been away. I hate writing when I feel down. But I guess if this is an account of my drinking/sobriety then I have to be honest at all times. Learning a new language is difficult, I'm lucky in that I'm surrounded by English every day. I'm trying to learn German but its bloody difficult as I only have one German friend and also its much more difficult to learn a language as an adult. Kids just have more available brain space and less things on their minds. LOL.

                Oh and it makes me so angry when people react like your daughter. Its like my older brother who clearly has adult ADD but is too afraid to get diagnosed. I told him its like being scared someone tells him he has curly hair. She'll probably just get Metformin and the bonus is she'll probably lose weight. It upsets your tummy in the beginning but that goes away after a while. It can cause interfelity, excess facial hair, irregular periods etc.

                Hey Tammy
                , I'm sorry to hear about your relapse, but the best thing you can do is to (as Sunny would say) put on your big girl pants and stop beating yourself up about it. It happened and there is nothing you can do about it. Get as some 25mg Topamax pills as you can get and start taking 25mg tonight. Try to drink a bit less on it as it will increase your hangovers and it will also signal to you to drink less, something you will miss if you are on long binges. The fact that you stopped on 75mg indicated that you probably don't need a much higher dose than that but you may have to go up higher. 25mg pills are handy as you you can then play with your dose without having to cut up any pills.

                I think what happened to you is what happened to me after 30 days and what is happening to me now again. We take our Topamax, it takes away our cravings, we are content, we start thinking of ourselves as normal people, then life comes along and makes up really happy/sad/bored/excited/restless/etc. and we say well I can control my drinking now so I'll just have one. And cue possible disaster. One can mod on Topa but it is extremely difficult and time consuming, you can follow WTE's progress. You can't simply go from AF to modding as its not the same at all. Even if you have one year AF with topa, you have to start from scratch if you want to learn how to mod with it. So there is my 2 cents, I hope you will join us. I'm sending you lots of :l's and love and positive thoughts. You have taken the most important step, realising you have to stop and reaching out for help.

                Sunny, only post when you can. Its always nice to hear from you. And its true about watering the garden Like today, they predicted rain but there isn't a cloud in the sky... I'm just taking Metformin for the POS at the moment, its for insulin resistance and also to treat the cysts. Its not really painful, just to my pocket and to my ego as I had to ask bf for money I have to still read up about it. The last thing I wanted was to take even more medication. But thanks for asking.

                WTE, Az, Last14, Houtx and all the others - thinking of you.

                Let me go break my arm...I mean go get ready for this thing.

                :h

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Hi Dizzy, I soo get where your coming from feeling like you would rather break your arm than go to the celebration.
                  You can have time off from being headmistress if you want so put that cane away.
                  Its really crap this getting down with our mood, I hope it passes quickly for you, I have no advice because I cant seem to do anything about it myself. You will do well to just go to this thing, and might even enjoy yourself, if you dont at least you wont have to fel guilty about not going. The money and bf thing must really sting, but it is good of him to lend you the money and help get you out of a hole but I hope you dont now feel indebted to him emotionally because of it.

                  I had a very wierd dream last night that I was getting married to a guy who used to be a friend of my husbands, he died a few years ago from pancriatitus ? drinking anyway, but it was an awful dream in that the wedding didnt happen and it was a disaster, and everyone was ignoring me, they all went off to wherever and left me on my own walking round the streets in my wedding dress. I had a dream the night before about going on a day trip and not being able to find the other peeps on the trip and not being able to get home, in it I either had my youngest son with me, but he was younger, or my dog!
                  I dont know why Im mentioning this its just on my mind.

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Hi, Play Here

                    Hello all my friends here, happy mom's day, I think most of us are moms, if you are not, happy day to you also.

                    So, Space, I totally know what you mean by that you open a can out of pure boredom. I have occasionally gone on a fast for a couple of days and it is amazing how much of our time is taken up by cooking, eating and cleaning up, actually just amazing. And in the evening for me especially, if I have been at work all day it is not so much the boredom, hmm, how can I explain this feeling, a mental image of the relaxation of having a wine glass in my hand, the image doesn't work so well with a water glass in my hand, a milk glass, or such other things. Now I do know that this is from years of doing this over and over and it is a habit that is ingrained in my mind, not even the effect of the alcohol, (especially when the Topa is having its nice effect of decreasing the craving), just the mental image of the wine in the glass while I am doing whatever I am doing. Last time when I had good results with the topa I got where I would just fill up the glass with wine so I could see it sitting there and that most of the time was enough to fulfill the mental need and I sometimes drank a few sips and as time went on I usually had a glass of wine in the evening and worried about it all the time.

                    Mimi, my only thoughts on the marriage are that if you have been with this man for a considerable number of years it might be wise to try to wait out the feelings of dissatisfaction - develop a life of your own that you enjoy while he enjoys his life of his own and when the two of you take your holidays have the fun and laughs and let the marriage rekindle itself, at least take the time to be sure of what you want to do because if you end it you want to be very sure that is what you want to do.

                    Last, welcome, I also would say how sad I am about your son. I also have a son that has had a major alcohol problem since high school. I have never been able to influence him in any way about his problems. It has taken him losing literally everything and everyone in his life except his immediate family for him to wake up to the fact that he will lose his life (and he even tried to take his life) if he does not start to take responsibility, and only in the last year he has started to work on it. I do know that unless a person wants to help themself, there is no way that you can force them to do it. I think the best thing that we can offer is our prayers and sending of healing light and loving energy to them.

                    Oh MY, Dizz, you had to borrow money from the somewhat BF, how awful that must make you feel, :upset: I'm so sorry, hope it gets sorted out soon.

                    Tammy, it sounds like Dizz is giving you good advice about the Topa, just pick yourself up and start all over again, we all have done quite a few times ourselves.

                    Hi Sun, Mimi, Wte, and Everybody and Anybody that I missed, I'm thinking of you. I'm doing pretty good, topa is definitely making its prescense felt, very subtle, I have to be careful, but the craving is definitely much better, YAY. My mom is doing good, of course she thought I was staying ALL SUMMER, LOL, where did that come from, I don't know, I skyped today with my daughter and the baby, oh they are both beautiful and the baby weighs almost 7 lbs., pretty good coming from 3 lbs at birth, can't wait to go back and hold her.

                    Ok, bye for now, sending much love and good thoughts to you all,
                    Play

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      Hey ppl & Happy Mother's Day!
                      A quickie post as it's late here & I spent so much time reading to catch up. Glad everyone seems to be doing well...myself included. This weekend my cousin came in from LA and my sister came in from Dallas...we all went down to the coastal suburb where my my poor aunt was living to try and finish cleaning out and sorting thru shit. WE were all amazed at how this once compulsive clean freak let herself and her house go to hell. We toasted to cleaning out a closet or doing some kind of major clean out of our houses 2x/yr. Easier said than done, but OMG - when you go into an elderly person's home and try to sort thru the bullshit...THROW IT OUT!!!!!!

                      The upside was we laughed like hyenas all weekend long! It was torrential storms Friday night when everyone got in, but the weather cleared and it was mild w/ very low humidity. Plus I was in control of my damn drinking...guests didn't arrive til 11 Friday night, we stayed up til 3 talking & laughing. I was fine. Sat. stayed up late again with a couple of different players...I was fine until about 2 a.m. when I just nodded off on the couch while my sister and cousin were still talking...ehhhhhh, thankfully, overall, I feel really good about my behavior. We all drank, I was in control. Could it possibly be some help from L-glut??!!

                      I want to comment on so many ppl's posts here...Last14, Mimi, Space, and Struggles, not to mention PLay, Sunny, anyone else I left out...I am so tired as I write this. But so looking forward to ordering TOPA and starting again. Sure would like to hear some input as to costs/effectiveness/customer svc/ etc
                      as to various sites to order from...??

                      I'm seriously thinking about being more serious about the "plan in place" you all mention. I definitely had a plan for not drinking as much this weekend w/ my sister and cousins...thankfully they wanted to drink a bit more than they usually do, which was enough for me!! It all really worked out very well. I was never out of control...

                      Then today we met up for Mother's Day brunch, just 4 women (my aunt w/ 3 nieces)...only my aunt ordered a drink. The rest of us were like ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....I really have no desire before 3 pm much less before noon!! lol

                      Anyway - good time this weekend! I'm doing much better. Need to tell you all about telling a gf at dinner the other night to "SHUT TF UP!!!" Totally not drunk when I did so....UGH

                      Happy Mother's Day to all!! XO

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        I have been reading a bit around the board and found this which I thought might be of interest to anyone thinking of taking topa but who hasnt got the book, or like me and has bought the book 2 times and still managed to loose it.

                        09-07-2010, 10:56 PM
                        Luciarising
                        Member

                        Join Date: Aug 2010
                        Posts: 13
                        Gallery: 0


                        WEEK1: Morning Dose 0 mg WEEK 1 Afternoon Dose 1 x 25 mg

                        WEEK 2:Morning Dose0 mg WEEK 2 Afternoon Dose2 x 25 mg

                        WEEK 3:Morning Dose1 x 25 mg WEEK 3 Afternoon Dose 2 x 25 mg

                        WEEK 4: Morning Dose2 x 25 mg WEEK 4 Afternoon Dose2 x 25 mg

                        WEEK 5: Morning Dose2 x 25 mg WEEK 5 Afternoon Dose 1 x 100 mg

                        WEEK 6: Morning Dose1 x 100 mg WEEK 6 Afternoon Dose 1 x 100 mg

                        WEEK 7: Morning Dose 1x 100mg & 2x25mg (total 150 mg) WEEK 7 Afternoon Dose: Same as morn.

                        WEEK 8: Morning Dose 1x100 mg & 2x25mg (total 150 mg) Week8 Afternoon Dose: Same as morn
                        WEEKS 9-12 all the same as week 8, giving you a total of 300 mg a day

                        I dont know if you can do a quote from one thread to another so I just copied and pasted it.

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Hi all

                          Thanks space, I do kind of feel indebted to him. We got along fine until we ended up in another little scuffle which finally made me realise why he reacted so strongly to the email I sent him. He totally misunderstood what I meant by it. I basically meant he should get over the stuff that happened to him in the last 5 years but for some reason he dragged something really traumatic into it that happened 15 years prior, something I wouldn't dare send him an email to 'get over or get out'. So I dunno, maybe this solves it or maybe it doesnt.

                          Yesterday was kind of fun, just our core family, my brothers wife had to work at their shop. My older brother made a very lovely lunch of leg of lamb with all the trimmings and we just chatted. My mom's feeling much better so she handled a lot of the conversation and I could just kind of hang low for a bit.

                          Play and Houtx, glad you are doing well. I'm just going to crack on with work this side so I can repay my debts.

                          :h:h:h

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            Good morning everyone

                            Glad you all had a good weekend - I worked the whole weekend and we were SO busy! I was totally drained when Igot in yesterday late afternoon - youngest came over for a while then I finished a book and went to bed! Had 2 guinness - didn't even want the 2nd but drank it anyway - Huh! If I am REALLY honest I didn't really want the first...... the Topa is finally kicking in properly I think...... although haven't I said that before??? LOL

                            Diz - I didn't know they put one on meds for PCOS - what does the med do? Never mind - I will Google it. What a pain for you - more meds and so sorry you had to borrow money too. It always seems to be a catch up with money doesn't it? Anyway hope you have a good day today.... hugs to you :l

                            Space - I keep posting the titration scehedule too - it is on this thread a couple of times and I keep telling myself that I will make a note of which posts so I can just cut and paste it for folk but never do that! so thanks!

                            Yes Houtx - one must have a plan - or I have to anyway - it really does help - and the L-Glut does too - not that I have taken any in a few days - again! I can't help re the ordering from various sites as I get mine from my doc - Play orders hers from on-line so she might be able to help....

                            Mimi - I am pm'ing you - not that I can help much but I will PM you anyway :l

                            Hi Play - pleased that you can feel the Topa beginning to work - and lovely that you got to Skype with your daughter. I love Skype!! Had to laugh at your mom thinking you were staying all summer - oh dear!!

                            Struggles - how is the Topa going? you know only to go up as the titration schedule? Don't try and go up faster - it doesn't help and in fact makes it worse as then you have to start all over again - how are you feeling?

                            Hi to everyone else - have a great day -how are you all doing?

                            Hugs, Sun X
                            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              Hi sorry Struggles we must have x posted when you posted last time and I didnt see you there, its crap when we fall over and go back on the drink badly but your definatley not the only one whose done that, I have many times and its a matter of picking ourselves up and making a plan so I can look positively at what I am going to do.

                              Ive never taken topa and havent seen the schedule on here until I noticed it today, that one was from Sun so thanks to you Sun, I just popped it on here for anyone who may want it, I know when I took baclofen a big problem I had with it was that I didnt have a schedule to follow and was just winging it, it is not a good idea at all.

                              everyone has been so busy so I cant reply to you all but I am trying to read and catch up

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                Oh my – do I have some catching up to do! HELLO ALL!

                                Well, I survived the holiday for the most part. There are times I think I am getting too old for this nonsense. Then again, can’t figure out how the heck to retire unless I find one of those old rich guys and can learn to keep my eyes closed real tight. HA!

                                As is customary as we near close down after a major holiday, I order pizzas and this time they wanted margaritas (there are 9 of us). So I’m not real pleased with myself and drinking but it wasn’t really to excess and nowhere close to where I was just a few months ago … just off the mark of my current goal of 3 glasses of wine. UGH. And 3 of worked a half day again yesterday for the last minute shoppers although we are in a small historic village that doesn’t see much traffic on Sundays but we had a good day... and a few Margaritas. So I had 2 days counted 6 drinks total which is totally going to blow my week, but oh well.

                                Thankfully I have never been a binge drinker so most likely this doesn’t mean I am on a bad roll but rather had a bad couple of days. Bummer. Even forgot my Topa last night as I totally crashed on the sofa when I got home, after having a spot to eat, walked Charlie a bit and fed him and it was over for me!

                                I was faithful with my L-Glut and Topa (50/75) the rest of the week although I skipped my All-One drink a number of times as I was dashing out the door at 4 AM morning after morning. SO great to wake up today with a day off! Yes!

                                Diz – Thank you for my pardon on not posting. HA!

                                I’m so sorry to hear about your POS. And the insult added to injury of the debt and having to request help with funds. UGH. But, you are a one heck of a strong babe and you WILL work your way through this all!

                                Mimi – Oh my goodness! Is your grandbaby OK? Just read about her bone. Yikes!

                                So, did you find a dress for those sexy shoes??? What an image for sure! HA!

                                And congrats on your sober Friday night considering the situation ….

                                As for the L-Glut, not sure if the stuff in the caps would dissolve as well as the powder would (?) Long ago I had the caps and they did nothing for me. The powder is the trick in my book. =) I take it up to 5 times a day sometimes. I DID notice (had not seen this before ) that my container DOES say “between meals” . But I take it whenever, first does before my morning coffee.

                                How fun about your dog! What is she on TV for? A commercial??

                                Space – Is that a back still acting up? Dang!

                                I have VERY odd dreams all the time. I used to try and figure them out but now just consider them to be like a trash can that is being emptied in my head each night. I wake up every morning remembering them, giggle sometimes, sometimes feel a bit down because they are sad and at times am just downright exhausted because I feel like I have been running around busy all night. LOL

                                And to answer a question a bit ago, yes, I track every drink on Excel on a silly little spread sheet I created. I track the times of day I take my Topa and the dosage so I can keep track of when I increase, and I pour a regular bottle of wine into tiny bottles and then put them into the door of my frig as I drink them so I can always count them that night or the next morning. Then type in the number and put them back in the little carrier. I track what I am averaging for the week per day, the month so far, etc. I know it may sound like excess, but it makes me feel good to see stuff like this:

                                Before Topa Monthly: 9.00+ Per Day
                                Four Weeks on Topa: 6.57 Per Day
                                Eight Weeks on Topa: 3.14 Per Day

                                WHOO HOO! HA!

                                Play – Hi there! I was going back and catching up on posts and saw your comment about the funny taste on carbonated beverages when taking Topa. I think I remember everyone saying that before too. Or was that when taking Nal? But used to hear it a lot and no mention of it now around here. I’s not a soda drinker (or beer) so have no clue …

                                And yep, love San Diego but still miss the Bay area. Yes, it’s gotten silly expensive here, but so has a stay in San Francisco! My lil’ sister lives in San Mateo so I am up there from time to time to see her and old friends.

                                As for setting a “drink goal” and charting it – Yep. I’m not perfect (see above HA!) but it gives me something to aim for. I try and stay really realistic with myself because I know me and if I “miss the mark” too often I get discouraged and just give up on all of it. It’ the reason I made my goal 3 again for my 3rd month and added to that – “doing it with more ease” and having a few AF days again.

                                Will also say I understand the boredom thing as well. A very sweet friend of mine (now passed) who went AF years ago used to say to me “it’s amazing how much you can get done when you stop drinking”. It’s so true – but sometimes there is TOO much time. Not that I don’t always have a ton of things I SHOULD be doing. But I have no children or much family left and none close. So unless I am buried in my work and home stuff and bits of time with friends – I have WAY too much time to be bored (or lonely) and drink.

                                SO happy to hear the Topa is kicking in!! You go girl!

                                Rainy – Where are you? All OK?

                                Last - Welcome to our little family. I’m so sorry to hear about your son. You’re getting (IMO) some good advice here in that no one can make him do anything he is not ready to do for himself. Very sad but true and I will chime in with wishing him and you all the best and light and prayers.

                                AZ - Welcome also. I’m not much help when it comes to Bac as I have never taken it. Best of luck in your journey and healing!

                                SUN – Sweet Sun! So have you gotten some rest (since I read one of your posts and am still catching up!) Did it rain?? HA! I managed to torture and kill off a few plants in my garden this week as somehow the circuit breaker tripped and the sprinklers were not coming on and we had some very warm weather. And of course I was just too pooped to check on anything until yesterday afternoon. Dang – Hate when that happens!

                                Struggles - Welcome and hope you are still with us. I am still catching up. What is “wrong” with you is the same thing that is “wrong” with all of us here that are sharing and trying to find a solution … and working together to support each other, share information and find our ways. I thought Sun’s post to you was brilliant. She’s right … no sense in looking back. Pull up them bra straps and get back on that horse! HA!

                                Houtx! - WOW WOW! You sound great and on a roll! Having good times with family and friends and holding things in control – ROCKING!

                                What a project you guys too on. Glad you were able to have some laughs along the way. Can’t even imagine what all it took to get through it.

                                As for the Topa – I am still a River fan. I think starting back up, the 75 worked best for me with a pill cutter. The price is right and although it’s a pain right now doing the 50/75 because getting the 75 mean chopping into ?, I will be moving up soon. 25mg are the easiest to do – but they also cost a touch more.

                                So – a belated Happy Mother’s Day to ALL! We are all Mom’s in one way or another … even if our children have wet noses! Charlie gave the best present of all … smiling and greeting my clients with love and affection through a crazy CRAZY week.


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                                (And Diz - I am NOT proof reading this - so get over it! HA!)

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