New here and starting Topa and with a question

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I Love Everyone Here In Our Gang!
Ok, Mimi's situation has really set me to thinking about all of us and I feel that as women most of us here on this thread with this alcohol problem have have probably had low self esteem at least sometime in our life and the self medicating with alcohol was how we started dealing with it. As time went on we crossed that line and it became an addiction. I have done alot of work around building feelings of self worth and am at a very healthy place in my life right now (I have my moments) but in general I'm very positive and self confident, of course I'm still struggling with AL because it is an addiction.

My new idea is that I would like to start a "Sharing Plan" between the ones of us on this thread that want to take part. This would mean that those of us who want to take part would need to be willing to share names and addresses (in private messages) so that we could share helpful Books and CDs, rather like a Library. Books are something that could be sent back and forth and CDs could be mostly burned and kept by each of us.

I have tons of hypnotherapy CDs regarding topics such as "Positive Self Talk, Live Your Dream, Alcohol Freedom, and Many Many More. These are CDs that I paid alot of money for, some I bought for myself and some I bought for my daughter who has awful depression. I would love to burn copies and send them to anyone who would like a copy. I bet we all have resources that we could share with each other.

I think this would be a fun thing to do. So, I guess if anyone else wants to try it we could just start saying what we have to share and then PM if we want to receive it.

OK Gang, more to each of you later.
Play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Very quick reply - will post properly later - what is a 5th wheel please????

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Im having difficulties reading through these posts right now, its all the talk of marriage and relationships, I had a very stormy of and on violent relationship with my husband, he died 5 years ago and in truth I always believed we would grow old together. I dont know why I still grieve for him, we had split up and he got together with other women but up until around a year before he died we were so close and the best of friends, he was diagnosed schitzophenic and was violent but I thought that as he got older he would get better with the violence, it was because of that we had to split up, I was scared for myself and my kids. Most people thought I should have hated him for that but I didnt, I still loved him I just couldnt be with him. I will be 50 this year and John is the only man I have ever loved and had a real relationship with and I cant imagine anyone who could replace him.

I dont know why I had to put this out on here, I dont know when I will stop missing him or wanting him to still be there, never probably.

Sorry to bring the thread down with this

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OMG who was the person with the cat whose leg was in cast, that has just been on a bbc tv show, I think they where on this thread does anyone know who it is?

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Space, that is not bringing us down, remember this is group therapy, we are here for each other, period.

play

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

And Mimi, the idea of having to be "grateful" to a husband or else feel guilty makes me cringe. OF COURSE it would be nice to make decisions together, well, not just some of the time, but most of the time, and talk and communicate and do things like that like healthy couples do most of the time. Your husband seems very selfish and self centered to me, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, it just seems like the truth to me and like Dizz said, he certainly has no innocence in this whole matter at all, I'm shocked that he can even think that he is so upstanding and guiltfree.

Well, I guess I said my bit for now, Mimi, you are beautiful, you are an intelligent, you must start to believe in yourself and look in the mirror every day and tell yourself how wonderful that you are.

hugs,
play

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I cant find the pic but I know Ive seen them on here, can anyone remember a littlr kitten wearing a jumper with its leg in cast, please tell me you do, Im not going mad I showed my son cos it was so cute, whose cat is is. It was the same pic on tv

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dear Space,
I so feel for you about your husband and I do really really understand how you can love someone and have to leave them at the same time and also keep loving them and that you can't imaging that there is anyone that can take their place.

I had a boyfriend that was severly bi-polar and refused to take medication, but he did self-medicate with alcohol. He had very extreme lows and very extreme highs and when he was very very high he had very irrational behavior that very nearly got us both killed several times. We were both outdoor enthusiasts, backpacking, hang-gliding, back-country skiing,

I followed him everywhere and a few times felt that I was lucky to come back alive. Eventually I had to leave him and we stayed good friends and both still loved each other, he later killed himself because he was so tormented by his condition. I too have felt that no one will ever replace him even tho it was too dangerous to stay with him.

Space, don't feel that you are bringing us down, it's good for us to share, talking helps, it really does, it hurts us to keep things inside all the time.

love,
play

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space I think I remember seeing the cat on yahoo news.

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, I don't actually think I will come back as a bug, but I do believe in reincarnation, I'm not trying to get around to religion or anything, just an aside about the "bug" situation. So, I just want to make sure I come back as a human:H, we have many more opportunities for growth as a human rather than as a bug

OH my Gosh Struggles,
I'm sorry you lost your temper with your daughter, I remember doing that with my own children and I didn't even drink when they were that age, so it happens to us all, remember that, I think kids just get on our nerves sometimes and we lose it, now I know you feel especially bad because you were having such an awful day with the cravings, well, forget about it, apologize to your daughter, tell her you were tired and worried and you love her and will try not to do it again, and she will forget all about it.

Now, I don't believe in spanking, and I never did spank my children, except for one tiny time, so my oldest daughter was 3 the other was 1 and they were squabbling and driving me nuts and i picked up the oldest one and swatted her on the behind "ONE" time with a hairbrush and I swear to God that was it.

Now they are grown adults and have memories like elephants and they make sure to tell everyone that I spanked them with a hairbrush when they were little. No matter how much I protest this false image they portray of me, everyone always believes them and I am seen as a "mean" mother.

So, struggles, don't worry too much, you won't come out ahead no matter what:H

play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey there Space - I am sorry about John. Schizophrenia is a very difficult thing to deal with and you and your childrens safety HAD to come first. You did the right thing for you all at the time. I am sorry that you lost the love of your life - you will never know what would have happened which is probably why it is so hard for you now. All you can do is remember the good times that you had, and there must have been some good times..... then you have to move forwards. hugs to you dear Space....:l

Mimi - yes, I can understand you wanting to do some things together - even something like shopping for a 5th wheel - will someone please tell me what a 5th wheel IS !!!!! I know I have mentioned Rhodiola until I sound like a broken record but it is worth a try for your down feelings - New Chapter Rhodiola Force 300. Not a wonder drug. Just takes the edge of. I promise I won't mention it on here again for at least a few weeks everyone!!!!

Diz - you have to love brothers!! Yours sounds like mine!! How funny..... Are you feeling a bit better? You sound as if you are.

Play - I think your idea is a great one - and I totally agree with you - I love everyone here in our gang too - I think we are all a great bunch! I think your idea of sharing books and Cd's is a great one - I have a lot of yoga DVD's but am not sure if I can burn them or not - I can try anyway, I also have some relaxation cd's too...... and meditation Cd's and of course no end of books. I know that I, for one would love to try the CD's that you mentioned some time ago, from another web site - hypntherapy Cd's for AL? can't remember who they were by now, but I even considered buying them - just haven't got to it.....

Oh how funny - I started writing this post about 2 hours ago but have been called away for phone calls and such- and thought I had better check and see if anyone had posted - there have been lots! Space - I do remember the person with the cat with the leg in the cast but it could have been that they just found the picture on line somewhere.

Play - where did you see Mimi's picture? And as you know, I too believe in reincarnation, but as you said, we had better not get into religion - I never discuss religion, politics or fox hunting in public. LOL Laughed at you spanking your children the once and them remembering it. I never spanked my youngest but I did spank my eldest three times - but she really drove me to it...... I am not proud of it but she knew which buttons to push - to this day she still does !!! I remember MY mum asking my little sister what memories she had of when she was little, thinking she would give some lovely memory - and my little sister thought and then said "of you chasing me up the stairs with a slipper". LOL!! We weren't spanked a lot when we were children - but we knew not to cross the line.

SO - change of subject. I have been really bad about not taking my L-Glut and am telling you all here in public that starting tomorrow I am starting taking my L-Glut and Kudzu again. I basically have stopped taking both of them for reasons totally unknown to me. So tomorrow I start them both again. Promise !!

And on that note, I need to start getting ready for bed. I am early shift tomorrow - Yeah!!

hugs to alll,

love, Sun XX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yes Please, what is a 5th wheel? and is it really big deal to get a new one?

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space, just Google, kitten in a cast, and the picture will come up.

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

A 5th wheel is a travel trailer. You hooked it up to your truck and you pull it down the road, camp, travel etc...

Space, I remember the kitten in a cast. I think it's in one of these pages but I don't know how far back you'd have to go.
And Space I am sorry for your loss, you just don't "get over" some things. Especially when you loved him but his mental illness made it so tragic and dangerous. You did what you had to do to protect yourself and your kids.

As for exchanging book idea's, cd's etc..... I am all in. A few of you have my email address but you will have to let me know how this "club" will work.

I need to get a good nights sleep as I am both mentally and physically exhausted.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh gosh Mim - he bought a travel trailer without talking to you about it??? yes, I agree - that is something we would have bought together..... hope you feel better this morning after a good nights sleep..... :l:l

off to get ready for work,

hugs to all, Love, Sun XX