New here and starting Topa and with a question

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Whats an RV?:H

I havent got much time and was just going to have a quick read though but I am fuming over this so called "Buddy". He is really taking the piss plus more piss now, how dare he sell your car to his new GF for a knock down price, and now he just owes you more money. Have you tried to get some kind of repayment thing going with him or will he just not do that. I do think its time for your friendship to end, he is disrespecting you so much. You should tell him how much he has hurt you over the whole money situation and now over the car. Sorry If Im out of line here.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

spacebebe01;1319654 wrote: Whats an RV?:H

Sorry - but this is so funny!!!!

We all speak the same language - sort of !!!!!! Don't we ??? An RV is a Recreational Vehicle Space! Sort of like a big caravan - except you don't pull it along - you drive it. they cost as much as a house usually!!

Anyway - will be back later to post - love and hugs !!

Sun XX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh I know the thing, I have seen them in films, I used to thinkI would like to rent one and drive around America in it, but then I remember all the driving and change my mind. I would need to get a BF to do the driving and thats a whole different story.

I need to be accountable and hope you all dont mind if I use this thread to do it. I want to list what meds I take and what I drink each day.

So last night was 4 lagers, 50mg bac, the lager is causing me to go to bed too late, over the past week or two I have been going to bd around 12 which is too late for me, but I am staying up to finish my lager. not good

[struggles]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Morning...uuuuuggggghhhh.

I made 4 days and caved. I think I had 12 beers yesterday. It was the first real sunny and warm summer like day this year and the pool is open and I was cleaning the deck and remembering how much "fun" it is to have beer in the sunny warm weather...yea, well that was the boozey part of my brain winning this because that was NOT A FUN TIME last year and it was NOT A FUN time yesterday....I got lazy and never finished the deck, sat on my ass and drank beer while facebooking.....what a waste of time and money I could have used on a couple new flower pots that I could have puchased today IF I had finished weeding around the deck! SOOO today is day one...again. It's going to be almost 90 here and I still have to weed and mow the lawn...but I will do it without beer. I did dump everything I had left and tossed it. I never took the topa yesterday and I think it's time to up the dose.

For me, it's all or nothing. I wish I could moderate, but I have proven to myself that I cannot.

Thank you all for the support.:h

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Space – Never “out of line” with me!

His friendship is hard to give up after so many years. But when it comes to money, he is nothing but a knucklehead.

There was a day, going back 15+ years ago that I almost lost everything. My partner had died, I had spent every dime I had trying to keep him at home before he died, (he was dying of Lou Gehrig’s) my only asset left was my house up north and it was headed for foreclosure, my shop was still struggling and the balloon payment was about to come due and if I couldn’t make it, it would go back to the previous owner and I would end up with nothing. Zip Zero.

Buddy, as only a friend as we were not yet involved as lovers, stepped up to the plate and allowed me to put over $40K on his credit cards. I really don’t know where I would be right now without that gesture of kindness from him. Of course I paid it off like clockwork and in fact a bit early. The shop was finally mine, I saved my house and finally sold it which allowed me buy this one and now my shop ROCKS! HA!

So over the years we have helped one another. There was just this one BIG boo-boo I made in a business deal with him that should have been documented better. And yes, there is a payment plan in place, but at this rate we will both be dead before it gets paid off. Seriously. The kicker is, the company would not even exist if it were not for my start up investment funds, and he now lives primarily off the profits.

He is THE kindest and most generous person I have ever known in my life and his sister is the same way. If I asked him for the shirt off his back, he would give it to me with no questions asked. But he struggles (through his own choices) and knows that I am not desperate for the money. (but I am far from rich!!) So it has all gotten to be just weird, and toss in the new GF and it’s become a real murky bowl of soup.

And who the hell wants to drive your BFs Ex GF’s car anyways??? That’s even weird to me …

He knows I am upset. I think he feels guilty as well. He is caught between trying to make his GF happy and keep me OK. I’m not good at staying mad at people – but I’m going to work on this for at least awhile! HA!

WTE

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Is it going to take the girl from Out-in-the-sticks-land we call South Africa to say it like it is?

We all speak English, but I think I’m the only one apart from Airam, who started this thread, who isn’t a native English speaker.

This sums it up.

Space: Whats an RV?:H

Sun: Sorry –but this is so funny!!!!

I know that Space and Sun is from the UK and that although Sun now lives in the US we share a common UK bond as I've lived there for 3 years.

I don’t know anything about RV’s or 5th wheels... LOL.

Sorry, needed half an hour to collect myself off the floor there.

If someone held a gun to my head and had me vote for the BEST POST EVER I think it’s a toss-up between Sun’s lost post and Space’s post on the gardening thread.

Sun is funny because she speaks from the heart. Like I said earlier today, she reminds me of Piglet... in the best way possible.

And I don’t think Space realises how funny she is.

Perhaps it takes someone like me, with a warped sense of humour, especially on a cold and rainy day like today, it being amplified by me being in bed with a cold.

But every time I read any of Space’s posts today I just crack up laughing.

So, as Sun haven't been able to retrieve her "Best post ever" here is the funniest Space post I can find right now. It’s from the gardening thread.

“Please don’t people go chopping up your worms, they do not multiply, the head end can survive if it’s not too badly damaged but while the tail end may wiggle around for up to a few hours it is dead.”

(Sorry for the inserted apostrophes and edits, Space, it was perfect the way it was)

WTE, I think Space is right. It really does sound to me like your buddy is taking advantage of you. I’m not sure if he was or is or drinking but if I was to guess I would say he is. I have said this before but you remind me of a friend that I used to share a house with. She is also from America, was 20 when she moved from New York to Cape Town 30 odd years ago. The similarities between you and her, and her friend and yours are staggering to say the least.

She has a very successful PR business and also has her struggles with wine and after 7 years she has finally realised that she simply can’t live under the same roof as her friend. He is a nice guy and to be honest if it was a perfect world it could have worked. BUT, like you, she has a keen sense for business, and this guy has no sense for making money. He has adult ADD and is a builder and she has spent so much money trying to help him build his business...

I think as women we can sometimes keep trying and trying as we keep trying to see how something can work in theory. You have given me some great advice in the last month and now I’m going to try and give you some. This guy KNEW he was screwing you when he sold your car to his new girlfriend. I may be making some mental leaps here but I think subconsciously you know that if it wasn’t for the fact that he was useless with money, the two of you would be together right now. Feel free to tell me to go jump off a bridge.

Anyway, sorry to hear you caved, Struggles. Perhaps you should give the Topa some time? :l

And Space, yet again, you gave me some giggles with your about the RV, and how you would need a boyfriend to drive it. I know road trips are supposed to be fun but I too hate them to be honest.

Nap time for me, speak to you all later.

:h

Edit:WTE:
I have since read what you have wrote after I have posted this and I think I have made too many mental leaps. So I will end with this. You can be the better person. So you have lost some money and you have lost him as a partner. BUT you can come out of this as the better person.

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Struggles –

I often wonder the same thing – am I fooling myself on being able to ever drink like a “normie” again.

I do so great for a while and then hit a slippery slope and there I go again – like you.

I think we need to let go of our “errors” (mine the whole past week!) and start with a new day (which includes our Topa!)

I think my downward slide may have been a bit in part the result of not increasing my Topa when I should have. Are you charting or keeping track when you should go up? I move up a bit slower just because I suffer from such intense tiredness every time I do increase, but maybe you should be on “schedule?

I think the thing I HATE the most about drinking is what you speak about – how LAZY I get! The laid best plans for a day go to hell when the AL comes out and then we are so pissed off at ourselves the next morning. So I hear you!

I’ve never taken AB, but if you are certain you are an “all or nothing” kind of person, maybe chat with some of the others here that have that as part of their “toolbox”?

Go easy on yourself and hope today is a better one … for all of us! ***Hugs**

WTE

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Diz –

Would never tell you (or anyone here) to jump off a bridge! Sometimes we just can’t see the forest for the trees … or as my late husband used to say “a pork’s nose is not a plug”. (And if anyone can figure that one out – you are from South America! HA!

No, Buddy is not a drinker. He will have a few beers or a few shots of vodka or share a bottle of wine when out for dinner. But it a very rare occasion to see him over do it.

He doesn’t suffer from ADD or anything similar, what he suffers from is what I refer to as “Early Stardom”.

As a kid he grew up always wanting to be a drummer. He ate, slept and dreamed drums and didn’t do great in school because he was always drawing pictures of drums instead of paying attention in class. He belonged to a number of “garage” bands in his teens … one went on to play slightly larger venues and then hit the jackpot in 1968. He was 21. They hit the charts and made the Top Ten on BillBoard.

Suddenly he was famous, in all the teen magazines, flying around the world playing, on International broadcasts. Making tons of money, cutting record deals and he’s in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. He was wild and crazy and thankfully never got strung out on drugs but played around with them a bit as well as booze. Married one of his groupies for 1 year. HA! And, like many bands, it all starts to slide. The group broke up when he was 29 years old. So now what? No college, no other jobs, he never really saved because he didn’t see the end coming. And so he played with local bands and life went on and he married again, but no kids. Tried to fit in as best he could.

But HOW does anything ever compare to that? He is an entertainer at heart and a musician. The roar of the crowd is at his very core of his soul. For years he was a parts manager for Mercedes (when I met him) and hated it. Also a Mortgage Broker (which he also hated). Few other things to make ends meet – but playing is what he loves.

He divorced and was remarried when I met him and lived next door to him and I was also married. That’s how we became buddies. We were a foursome. None of us had kids. I used to tell his wife “I don’t know how you live with him!” HA! HA! She was working her ass off and he was mucking about doing home loans and doing a half ass job of it. But he was fun and funny and we became great friends. When he divorced and I divorced and moved away we remained friends. It wasn’t until years later that we got involved. I SHOULD have remembered how he was with money WAYYYYY back then. LOL

Diz – You bring a very good point that I guess I deep down I knew, but really had not thought about. Yes, I know if it were not the money issues I would probably have given “us” another shot. But, I also think you may be right that Buddy may very well realize that as well … I had not really thought about that until you mentioned it. So really, what does he have to lose if he “plays into the GFs hand” since he has already lost his option with me …

I’m just staying quiet. No sense in ruffled feathers. Lessons learned. (I wish I would remember them! HA!) And at least I can take the Jag off my damn insurance policy.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE, today it feels like all of us can’t see the forest for the trees …

It really made me giggle when you said "as my late husband used to say a pork’s nose is not a plug”.

And also, I'm from South Africa, not South America! :H

Today's just one of those very weird days, it feels like its been going on for forever.

It's one of those Wintry Sundays that I just want over with.

I can relate to what you said and what I mean is that sometimes we really struggle to see things for ourselves and it's only when someone else points it out, that it becomes clear.

:sigh:

[struggles]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE~

What's AB? I just got in from mowing the lawn...with a PUSH mower and that's a sure fire way to cure a hangover! ha! I love reading your posts, it's like my own secret soap opera I am enjoying hee-hee...sorry it's at your expense. So did you shit can that girl or just set her straight? Does she know that you know about her drinking? You are in a tough spot with that one.

I am in the spot you were in years ago financially...except I lost my husband to a skinny, bleach blonde, fake boobed, barbie wannabe who thinks it's okay to get involved with a married man who has two small kids....of course he was the innocent one....NOT:H

Anyway, I only work parttime but fought to keep the house and am still fighting it. It's a daily struggle and one that I know I will not win with booze in my life...one of the reasons I was slapped with reality.:upset:

I was on 75mg of topa and had NO cravings what so ever and then I lost it and when on a three week HUGE bender...I called in sick, stopped seeing people and drank all day, everyday. I stopped last Tuesday night and yesterday faltered. I need to up it to 75mg again and go from there. I was on 75 for about 4 weeks with nothing to drink at all when I hit that binge, so I'm guessing around the 4 week mark, I may have to go up. The thing is, when I took the first sip of beer yesterday, it tasted like crap...sour and tangy and I just guzzled it....I wouldn't eat food if it tasted like that

Anyway, it's back to day one and back outside to do some more work....sober.

Tammy

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Diz - HAD to reply to this … I KNOW you are from South Africa, HE (the Ex hubby was from South America. HA! Born in Paraguay, and raised in Brazil and Argentina and Brazil.

How’s THAT combo for a blonde all-American to try and be married to? NOT!

BTW, “A Pork’s Nose is Not a Plug” translates in very poor English to: Imagine an American electrical outlet and that it can look similar to the nose of a pig. So in other words, “ things are not always as they may seem …”

Can’t wrap my head around your “winter day” … as I am in shorts already at 830 AM.

Over and out …. Charlie just asked to take him to the doggie park … and he always gets his way. =) Surgery in 4 days. Cone head coming up!

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Struggles .. I have spoken the mag
ic words to Charlie : DOGGIE PARK! so have to dash .. but be back in a bit. Frig! Push mower?? With a hangover???

Chat in a bit!
WTE

[COSGringo]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

RV / Camper

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

LOL re the A Pork’s Nose is Not a Plug South Africa/America/Winter/Summer thing.

Its just been a weird day so I thought I would clear things up re where I am.

All I can say is I promise it is shit cold today and I havent really gotten out of bed. It doesnt really get cold in Cape Town (well I was born in Zimbabwe, then South Africa, then Namibia, then South Africa, then London...then Cape town again...anyway...)

Struggles as far as I know AB is Antabuse.

WTE, its funny how doggies understand words. They say dogs have the intellgence of 5 years old kids and cats of 2-3 year olds.

Our dog Lucky has always been skinny but our grey cat Charlie and ginger cat Max have both picked up weight for winter. Max eats like a champ but I've noticed for the first time today that he is starting to resemble Garfield... The thing is I can't stop feeding him as he then just go eat at the neighbours and when they stop feeding him he starts killing the local wildlife...including rabbits his own size.

All of our animals are rescues and they all have their own strange little personalities. Lucky the dog is obsessed with his tennis ball and you can't say the words 'ball' or 'walk' in front of him. Also, he won't tolerate any sort of violence in the house. Not that there is any but if we have any sort of play fight he will charge and bite... not too hard but not too soft either...

Charlie the grey cat had a bacterial infection in his right leg so he is a small cat but is actually the alpha male of the house. (Unfortunately I'm the only female) Both the dog and the ginger cat lets Charlie dominate in his own way, which is not in the way you would expect. But even though Max is much bigger and stronger than Charlie, whenever Charlie comes to fight him, Max will lie down and take it like a wuss

I forgot what I was going to say...

Anyway. Its 6.15pm here and I need to get some dinner.

:h

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

SO MANY POSTS! Oh goodness, I just turn my back for two minutes and this is what I come back to!!!!

Diz - loved the little polar bear - so sweet!! And yes - WHERE is Wildflowers - we haven't seen her for ages..... I too, always come here foirst thing after I get up and see what has been written - which is why I wondered where you were Diz - you missed a night somehow!!

I was wondering if a 5th wheel was something like a 5th burner which I didn't know what that was either initially but couldn't think why Mimi was upset about that if it was a 5th burner...... then wondered if it was like a 3rd wheel - or is it a 3rd - shoot, can't remember the right word - darned Topa - anyway I am just getting in deeper here so will go onto the next bit. Oh I laughed when you said I reminded you of Piglet!!! rushing in demanding to know what it is as if my life depended on it - - YES - the 3rd thing meaning you aren't needed - THAT 3rd thing! but a 5th thing. And no, someone doesn't buy something like that as a way of showing love - someone buys that to show he is the boss and CAN. Sorry - shooting my mouth off......

the worms - I felt so bad - I used to till my garden until I saw I was tilling the worms - and just couldn't bear to do it anymore. I felt SO bad. I mean - to accidentally chop one when one is gardening is one thing but to till them - on my gosh - heck no.

Roosters. Hug them. They hate it. If you hug them, they will think you are the alpha rooster. And behave. If they start getting out of line, you start hugging them again. Of course when you are in rehab, you sort of can't do that can you..... LOL Or hug your neighbours either. (neighbours rooster I mean) Yes, they should start at sunrise - that is the whole point of roosters. Oh - talking of hugging roosters - I was in the local supermarket yesterday and needed a plastic bag in the produce section and they are down fairly low and this chap was standing right next to them so I sort of reached my hand down and grabbed for one and he saw me and went 'oh sorry" and stepped away - and I said 'sorry - I wasn't going to touch your leg - hopefully - I mean OBVIOUSLY." DAMN TOPA!!!!!!!!! He burst out laughing and said ' hey - if you like ...... DAMN TOPA and getting words muddled!!!!! He was wearing shorts too which made it even worse!!!!!

OH.......My........GOSH......... I did the same thing again. EXCEPT I had copied up to here this time. My brother called me on Skype and somehow I managed to close the tab that I was on. Oh gosh - I am so cross with myself. I had gone through so many more of your posts. this time I am not amused. AT ALL. I know - well, I thought I hadn't closed any tabs - they were still here when i got back - but my post wasn't. SIGH. sad. Going outside.

Oh dear - WTE - I answered your entire post - about the rattle snake about work, about buddy about the g'f getting the jag - everything. OH! I am SO STUPID. I am furious with me. Now, shall I start all over? I really should.......

I am almost scared to leave the computer....... although I have copied this to here now. Okay - I am back..... WTE - I was so upset to hear about your neghbours dog - you will have to watch it with Charlie - do you get a lot of rattlesnakes there? we only get black snakes - called Black snakes, and garter snakes. I empathise with your problem with your lead designer - as a NICE manager, I know what you mean - but you do have to remember that you are the boss TOO! I know I have surprised one or two folk at work when I have actually been 'the boss' as opposed to 'sun' when it has been called for. Re Buddy - does it dawn on him that when he says you can't make money from a friend - he is doing just that from you???????

Struggles - I feel for you - BUT, Topa is not meant as something that you take and immediately stop AL. I mean, one can if they want to, but most folk don't use it that way - from the amount that you were drinking, although to most people 12 seems a lot, you still did well to me ! Have you considered trying Antabuse as well as Topa? You do well on the Topa and you then know that until the topa kicks in, you just couldn't drink..... Oh - we have a push mower and hubs keeps on at me to get rid of it but I refuse to. One day I will use it - LOL Back to Topa.. I am dithering about whether or not to stay at the 300mg. I am sort of fighting the beginning of depression I think. I will continue to fight it and keep taking the 300 for now. Ages ago someone posted a post called "Why Anti-depressants Don't Work". I looked for it for ages all over the site and couldn't find it - then found it in my favourites - I had actually bookmarked the website and they had some neat links to other sites to help with depression - one site involving some 'tapping' which I did last night - and I felt better!!!!! So I shall take it day by day and see how I go. Take the Kudzu, the L-Glut and the topa. Yesterday I had all of one whole Guinness and forced that down me! Anyway I digress - sorry - I think you are doing so well - no worries about your slip - I am amazed that you went as many days as you did - you impress me!


I also had to laugh when Diz summed up our posts - reading it as it sounds - I really got the giggles! And I take being compared to Piglet as a compliment !!! Love the whole Hundred Acre Wood crowd so being likened to any is fun!

WTE and Struggles - I SO agree with you on how lazy we get once the AL comes out - why is that? I was up at 5.00 this morning and had done a days work by 12.00. I have been playing on the computer with Skype and this site ever since 12.00 and have just poured a Kahlua and milk. i know for a fact that I won't do much more today! I am going to bake a lemon raspberry tart actually but doubt that I will do much more. Oh - I might iron too, and maybe run the hoover through....... but yes, it does make us lazy!

Oh WTS - your ex must find life so different from what he imagined - and a porks nose is not a plug - I am not going to touch THAT one with a barge pole!!!!!

Oh gosh - I really need to get going - I have to go and start the lemon raspberry tart - there are still posts to reply to, but I must get going - my back is starting to ache from sitting still for so long.

Love and hugs to all - all enjoy the rest of your Sunday however short a time there is left of it :l

love, Sun XX