New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yes 2run I do, but don't have a TV up in my new yoga/meditation room - .......yet. Thanks.

Sun xx

[2Run]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

That kind of thing tends to get in the way of meditation anyway. ;D

Just dumped out my only glass of wine. Blech. !!!!!!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good for you. LOL

hugs, Sun xx

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - Been a couple of nights since I posted...All these posts are good stuff about the top of the mountain & the bottom of the gutter. The one glass vs the bottle. Isn't that what got us here in the first place? Sigh. If only we could do all we want to do by 9 pm, settle down with that glass or two of wine and call it a night. Alas - those glasses seem to get better and better. My post Sunday said 1 a.m. which was weird. I thought I logged out @ 11...I know I went to bed earlier than that! Hmmmm...Anyway -

Welcome Taytay and anyone else new here. This whole appetite suppressant thing is so weird! The first day or two on a new dose - and you could just not care less about eating. But your stomach then turns inside out with the gnarling craving for food which you don't feel like eating any of. The thought of drinking?? Ehhhh, well, maybe something, but not anything with bubbles - ewwww tastes flat, right?! I read your post the other day, Sun about your not really seeing changes until you got to about 200 mgs, so hoping the same is true for me. And don't be too stressed about this new start! It will be ok!! We are all in this together - so good luck with your quest finding a Dr tomorrow! Be your sunshinedaisy self, girl :-))

As far as loss of appetite for eating & drinking, it is really sortof up & down/ in & out/ off & on /a waviness of a feeling for eating & drinking. But no real loss of appetite until I have upped my dose. During the day I need to eat in the morning and then late afternoon. After that I am not really hungry. But then I have a teenager over for dinner/homework I feel like I should eat a few bites with, even though I'm not really hungry. Sometimes I have wine, sometimes not. Basically in the last month since I've been on Topa I have lost 5 lbs. - I feel like I have eaten like a bird without really trying too, so it's kindof doing my head. Oh well. I'm fine with that. There's too much else to worry about right now...

I am lucky I have not been plagued with any other SEs and just hoping the other shoe doesn't drop (whatever that might be on the SE scale!!). I really and truly hope and pray this is MWO...I had 2 glasses o' wine last night when my daughter was over and felt very calm and peaceful. On Sunday as I later posted, I drank all afternoon while doing marathon paperwork, but I was ok - stayed up late to get it done. I should have quit way earlier than I did, but it was ok.

I just have had this sortof "peaceful" habit of drinking a fair amount of wine every night for the last 20 - 30 yrs or so. Give or take a few while the kids were babies & toddlers. It stayed the same for years and years...and then it grew and grew. I was a runner, have always worked out, a professional, blah blah blah...I don't want to quit. I just want to quit for a while. Like weekdays. A month. A long time. Forget about it. Then remember about it. Or have 2 every night and that's it....

But I have now had this post up here for the last hour and gone off & on & apologize!! At least I didn't lose it!! LOL Hope alls well out there. BOO HOO!!!! I JUST WANNA LOSE 10 LBs and MAYBE GO BLAAAAHHHHH EVERYDAY FOREVER OR AT LEAST MOST DAYS FOREVER TO ALCOHOL!!! :-)) XO

[NoraC]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Houtx - understand!!! Wow - I understand. :l:l:l

I am on 200 mg. I actually was doing fine. Could have done quite well not drinking. Hubby coming home tomorrow from vising his Dad. Talking to him. Listening to him and it was an immediate reflex. I need to work on that. :upset:

[taytayhi5]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey All

I have lots to say to everyone...most of all thank yous! but right now I am tired. I have been at work for 12 hours and 12 hours in jail is no fun...esp on the start of my Topa. I hope you all are well. I will be think of you and will get back to you as soon as I can.

:l

[taytayhi5]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

thinking...

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning everyone - Houtx, would love to comment on your post but am rushing to get ready for work - Tay - you work in a jail? That must be extremely stressful for you. I could not do that - good luck with the Topa - we are on the same days I think! Got to go people - love and hugs to all,

Sun xxx

[mumtotwo]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone. I am struggling so much with this and can relate to all of you. I have been on this site off and on for over 2 years but aside from a couple weeks AL free and a few other days here and there haven't actually "committed". I have finally purchased the book and several of the supplements. I just ordered the CD's and the kudzu from the MWO store... so now for the Topamax. I don't know how to get that... one day I think I'll ask my doctor and the next I change my mind. I don't want this going on my medical records.

I am a stay at home mother to a 3 1/2 and 5 year old and my vice is wine... I can drink a bottle or more when I have it around, and although I've tried switching to beer I find that lately I drink enough of that to almost equal the wine consumption. My pattern is usually every other day... I can't tolerate much but I drink like I can. This is not new... I've been drinking like this since I was in college. I'm ready for a change!! I drank 2 bottles of wine on Monday night and felt like I'd been hit by a truck yesterday... yet now I'm ready for another glass... I can't wait to get the rest of the supplements and to find a way to get the Topamax!!

Sorry for the rant... hopefully you can all understand!

Mum

[havefaith]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Mum
This is what I did- Topomax has been used for migraines forever. so when I went to my doctor, I just told him that I have used it in the past and it worked the best. And I believe I started off with 25 mg.
Most Doctors will not give this to you for alcohol related issues. Good luck. It works!
I've been AF for 3 months......

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Welcome mum !! You are from US - but your name is 'mum' - are you English? I am!! Why don't you want the Topa going on your records? Or is that a silly question? Anyway, I am back to day 2 or 3 with the Topa - I had a massive great - can't call it a slip - so I guess it was a full blown fall - but Topa is really good. If you have read back through this thread, you will see many of us at different levels - some have been up at 300mg (ho hum wonder who that was??) and then had to start over - but anyway - you will get lots of support from us here - we are a great bunch - and they are all SO supportive. Just wonderful friends to have. Welcome and hopefully this time, you will beat that demon AL. I know I am hoping to finally!!

Hugs to you, Sun xx

[taytayhi5]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello Friends~

Yes Sun, I work at a jail. It is sometimes stressful but most of the time dull. I work over nights and the hours suck. I want to do something else but there is nothing out there right now. So here I sit. At least I have all of you to chat with at night now

Mum, you sound like me....only I could do wine everyday! I did drag my feet on getting the Topa. Luckly my Dr is wonderful and gave me the script right away. It has been , what, three days, four now and I feel pretty good. A bit ditzy. Very thursty. Not super hungry and not really thinking about wine except for the fact that I am thinking about how I am not thinking about it! I have a feeling in the days to come I will have to go from 25mg 2x daily to 25 3x daily, (I am a tall drink of water). But so far I am very hopeful. My Dr. said he would look into Bac this week but as of right now I want to stick with Topa because it seems to be working so far.

I have also been watching Rain in my Heart and reading a few Women for Sobriety books.

I am so thankful to have found you all. I have no idea where you are or what your deal in life is other then we have a shared struggle in this life and that means I am sorry for you but glad I am not alone. We can beat this, can't we?

:l~ From MN

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning Tay! Rushing round getting ready for work but saw your post - yes we can beat this - and it is so good to have each other for company - not that I would wish this on anyone, but if others have to have it, we couldn't wish for a nicer bunch than those here!!

Have a wonderful day everyone Hugs to you all,

Sun xx

[mumtotwo]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thank you all so much for your support!! It means more than I can say... I've struggled with this and posted once or twice in the past but have never been REALLY ready to do this until now (I say this with glass of wine in hand... WHEN does it end?? I'm swearing not to have much tonight).

havefaith-- That's a good idea. I'm nervous as I started with this doctor almost a year ago and probably didn't tick "migraines" on the paperwork. I've been back to her once to get on an anti-anxiety drug back in April, and mentioned then that I found that I was drinking wine to ensure sleep and deal with the stresses of having 2 little ones. I'm afraid that if I come up with migraines all of a sudden she'll give me something else to take and don't want to ask for something specific as I'm worried she'll be "onto me". I've thought about being up front with her about it and asking if she can leave it "off the record" and just help... I don't know if I'll gather the courage for that.

Sun-- I've been reading back quite a bit in this thread and think you are doing an AMAZING job!!! We all fall and then have to pick ourselves back up. My problem is that in the past I just fall and then say "oh, well... this is OK too, why should I quit?" To answer your question I lived in Sydney for nearly 2 years and joined the MWO forums when I lived there, although never posted then, just read a lot. I miss Australia terribly... all my close friends and neighbourhood. I still find myself speaking in Australian/English terminology and forget it until I'm "called out" by my American friends (in a good way, of course!)

Tay-- I admire you for working in a jail and getting sober at the same time!! Good on you!!! I'm having wine 2 nights in a row now... so I guess I CAN do it when I really put my mind to it... HA!!! Need to put my mind to NOT doing it!!!!

So thankful to everyone on here and happy we can all go through this together. Now to get the courage to ask for the Topa and I'll be right there with you all!!!

Mum xx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Mum (it really seems funny to me writing that!!!! LOL) - my mum does NOT drink as she constantly reminds me!! We have a wonderful thread going here - and so much support too. thanks you for saying I am doing an amazing job - I suppose because I caved, I don't think so - I feel I let all the newbies just starting Topa, down!! of course though when I did cave, I wasn't on Topa - so maybe it doesn't count. Anyway, it is great to have you here. I agree with you re Tay - working in a jail and getting sober at the same time. WOW! I think it would drive me to drink. So Tay - you have my every admiration! How are you doing today?

Oh mum - I have to smile - you were posting with glass of wine in hand - I am posting with glass of Guinness in hand!! Now I play the game of waiting for the Topa to kick in which I know will take weeks for me. half of me thinks "good, now I can drink again without worrying", the other half thinks "But the others are at least TRYING not to drink while waiting for the Topa to kick in". Good Angel, Bad Angel.

Havefaith - it is great that you are here to share your success with Topa - Bac seems to be the drug of choice these days, although recently there seems to be an interest in Topa again which is good I think (I might be slightly biased).

Nora - I didn't know that you were veggie too - me as well! I have been thinking about Antabuse too - years ago, I did get some from a friend (who has since died due to AL) and took half a tab and was terrified that I would use perfume with Al or makeup or something - it scares the living daylights out of me!

houtx - how are you doing? And Airam too? 2run - how are you feeling? I am feeling SO much better than when I posted the other day - lots more positive and optimistic! I AM going to beat this and you all are too! WE CAN DO THIS. I love the support here. Thank you all so much.

love and hugs,

Sun xx