New here and starting Topa and with a question

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wildflowers, I'm sorry to hear you are also stressing so much. Did your doc change your pills? I always think of you as my Topa buddy as we are both bipolar and have a similar effect from it. I am now on 62.5mg and as I'm now not drinking I am feeling slightly manic again. Do you think that's perhaps whats happening with you? My cravings are under control but I have heart palpitations, problems sleeping, I'm also cold ALL THE TIME, I don't want to eat, my tummy is upset, I'm in all just not a very happy bunny.

I was just wondering if you draw the conclusion that Topa could be causing this for you. I am a bit self absorbed at the moment as I'm stressed so I'm sorry if I don't pick up everything so if you mentioned a huge stressor that could also be it. But otherwise perhaps your dose could be looked at - you alternate between 62.5 and 75, right? Remember these pills have the power to make us manic, so we have to be very careful. Perhaps we should take a page out of WTE's book and keep a journal of our dose and our feelings every day.

When I saw PDr. yest the appt was so rushed there was no dialogue. I'm going to call & reschedule a longer appt time for my next visit. ( per his request, that I declined yest as at the time I was in a hurry & not thinking clearly) I'm still taking 75 mg., 50 mg PM & 25 mg AM. Cause, of my relapse in May, ending on the 22nd. I will also change my appt from 6 wks to 4 wks. Decide then if an increase in dosage is needed.

When I saw him in 07-08 there was never any official diagnosis of anything other then I'm alcoholic. Except that he agreed with my old counselors & psychologist of PTSD & GAD. The one I saw in my twenties for marriage counseling. Then my re-hab & private counselor in 07-08. All gave these diagnosis's. In 07-08 when I saw PDr said I might be bi-polar II, but it's too hard to make a diagnosis until there's a good amount of sobriety time. I agree 100% The old chicken & egg routine. I do think if anybody drinks large quantities of booze for yrs like I have it's very possible to end up with mental health problems. I do know when the drinking got out of hand, it stemmed from major anxiety & depression, mainly situational ( I think).

I love that you write how Topa makes you feel & yes you are my Topa buddy & I do think we have similar symptoms, so maybe I am Bi-polar. My hubs says I'm not as up & down now, but then again I have some sobriety. The up & down b4 could have been from all my drinking.

I didn't take my topa last night so I could finally sleep. Did this a couple of wks ago. I have a headache now tho. No appetite, drank coffee, cold, tummy crap. Doesn't seem to matter if I eat or don't.

I'm going to take care of me now. I need to finish my collage that I'm working on for Baby Bears & BF arrival on Friday. Big move on Sat with 1st born moving out. Yeah!.... Don't get me wrong we are very close!.... It will be one month of sobriety for me on that day ( 6/23 )

No worries about being self absorbed. I'm going to start practicing more of this myself. I need to!.... Not out of selfishness, but out of self care. I'm finally understanding the difference. Just before I turn 50. Woo Hoo!

Take Care,

Wildflowers :h

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Play, I'm not trying to be hurtful to anyone!... Sorry you took it as a lecture! That is not how I intended you, or anyone else to perceive it!

I've offered a ton of love & support on this thread!.... Laughed, cried, cared & worried with you all!...

saying that if you are not totally AF you are not in a position to give any advice to other people.

There were several issues going on at that thread. Some I agreed with & some I didn't. This was just one issue in particular, I & some others disagreed with!..... :upset:

Dizzy & Space have already gave me excellent advice. I'm too tired to repeat & type it.

I'm happy that you are there supporting your beautiful family!

Take Care,

Wildflowers :h

[Trixiebelle]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone,

I have a question for anyone who orders from Goldpharma (or anywhere for that matter).

I ordered Topamax from them and got 100 capsules for $64. I went back to put in another order and searched for Topiramate and it returned 100 capsules for $51.14.

Is it because Topamax is the brand name like Johnson & Johnson and Topiramate is the ingredient like paracetemol?

If that is the case, can anyone recommend what they are using.

(The gear I'm using hasn't kicked in yet, so I hope it's not a dud lot.)

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thay are just made by different companies Trixie. The topamax one will be the original company that made it, probably why its more expensive.

[Trixiebelle]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Cool, I'll just get the cheapest one then - thanks Space, you're awesome.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

I had such a draining day, out all day doing errands for my parents and I do feel resentful that my mom cant snap out of it and that my dad is incapable of appreciating how much it takes of me to offer up a day when I have so few left.

Trixie, some claim the brand name is better but I take a knock off called Toplep (not available on there) so I'm afraid its a bit like Forrest Gump's box of chocolate's analogy, you never know what you're going to get until you get it. Good luck, and I hope yours kick in real soon. Its great to see that you are so excited about it.

Sun Hope you are feeling a bit better and that you are treating yourself to some well-needed R&R. :l

WTE - What can I say but :biatch: you should have given in for all of us here not getting any. You know, taken one for the team? So we could live vicariously in your soap opera like story? LOL. It sounded so dreamy until you send the poor boy off to the cold guest room. No, good for you, you had a really fun time and you did something that you could live with in the long run. And he'll be back... And you know that phrase, I taught you, whose your momma?... Just kidding!!! Just really glad you had a fun time. Hopefully soon I will have some fun stories to share soon.

Well, I will as my plane ticket has been paid for and at least some of my shit has been sorted out and my clients are on board and know I'll be in London. I'll also have a cell phone contract there that gives me a local South African call in number for ten pounds a month, so for them it will be like I'm still working from Cape Town. How did I change that from sexy stories to work stories so quickly? I don't know, I must be a skilled writer. LOL.

A friend of mine just heard she has been picked to me the MAC cosmetics representive in Scotland, UK and Spain, so she's also moving over in a month's time. I'm really glad as I only have two friends of friends living there, and Space! but this girl is quite special. Just a pity they are my brothers BESTEST friends so he's going to be really lost without the three of us.

Sorry you're so tired Space. I guess just look at all the possibilities. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue 6 years ago, I had a very high count of the Cytamegalo virus in my blood. I picked it up from a tummy bug and my body never got rid of it. Thinking back I think it could have been that but it was probably just the depression. I don't think the Citalopram does anything for my depression. And I think the Seroquel just makes you tired. You need another AD an that will help lift your mood and energy.

Wildflowers, yes, same as above, take everything into account. I pick up a lot of the same things in you than I do in me at the moment and I'm highly stressed and I upped my topa dose. I'm hypothyroid though, so not sure about that one. And I'm also OCD, I try not to admit it and nearly cracked when my brother mentioned it to the counsellor in rehab. I have these little habits, like I can't go to sleep if all my cupboard doors arent closed, or the locks and shoes in the room arent aligned. Its not super bad but its embarrassing... And when I sit down to work I sometimes get racing thoughts of like I HAVE to first make supper before I write this and then whatever I do I can't get it out of my mind.

I'm glad you are giving yourself some me-time. Its all about balance. I think when I get to the UK, I'll probably write a bit less but then I think I'll still make time as I love you guys so much. Just share with us what you're comfortable with, pick an AF thread, and then be kind to yourself. And enjoy your Baby Bear!

I can't see further back on this page so I'm going to log off for now.

I need some me-time now, perhaps a movie under the duvet and a hot cuppa tea. I do feel the effects of the Topa much more clearly when I'm AF. Not sure if it just took time to build up or if it really works better without booze but my mood is definitely better at times without the beloved behated poison. :sigh:

Lots of love and hugs to everyone.

:h

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just a quick query for WTE, didnt you get suspicious that he had brought his swimming shorts along with him to look at your garden:H

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

At least he HAD his swimming suit with him. There's no telling what the little minx would've said had he said he didn't have any on him!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh I dont want to think about that

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

It?s late, I have been CRAZY busy today with the shop BUT . had to respond to Space and Diz while I laugh ...

Nope? this is So California.

In my car at all times is what many of us refer to as our ?gym bag?. Swim suit, sweats shirt and maybe long pants too, sunscreen, (for chicks a quick make up touch up stuff), tooth brush and paste, flip flops, a beach towel, a baseball cap, cute cover up or throw on dress thingy, hair tie .. oh and a condom,. HA! Was kidding about the condom but I think I may have one rotting in there somewhere.

NOTHING is formal in So Cal and you end up from going to work to the beach to a dinner in nothing flat.

HA! Can?t write anymore but all my years in other countries I still forget how casual we are here in comparison ?.

Love all ... he is doing my irragation and sod tomorrow morning whileI am at work. Hummm.. his quote really came down! LOL LOL

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Waiting you must live in a different so Cal than me! And I grew up here-ha!

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

WTE - he's going to 'do your irrigation while you're at work'??? :woot: Won't your colleagues mind? Or are you going to send them out to lunch at least? No good on ya, and I'm glad its getting done, it must be a pain to have broken irrigation in the middle of Summer.

I know what you mean Bruun, Cape Town is pretty much the same as So Cal as far as I can tell but its pretty much to do with your personality, looks etc. too. A town can't really determine your social life.

I packed up my 'gym bag' when I was 24. Now I won't dare to bare myself to any strangers in a bathing suit and I'm no longer the type of person who just decides to go to the beach on a whim. I'm only in my early 30's but I have grown into who I am and its actually lovely when you accept that you are a homebody who doesnt like it when people just pop in on a whim or phone you ten seconds before a party etc. I used to feel guilty about it and now I just say - this is who I am.

In terms of inviting him to sleep in your house, I would SO not have done that in Cape Town. Now, perhaps some women would still have done that here but the issue is not sex here, its safety. I live in one of the most dangerous countries in the world and the idea to invite a perfect stranger to sleep in my house is as foreign to me as to have ET sleep over.

For the same reason I would NEVER have sex with a stranger. We also have one of the highest if not the highest HIV rates in the world. Having a one night stand is simply just not something you do. Also, because of the bad unsafe public transport during the day non existent public transport at night, everyone has to drive home and they often have road blocks, so hardly anyone gets trashed anymore (a good thing)

So I had complete culture shock going to pubs and clubs in London in 2004-2006 seeing the girls getting shitfaced and then 'pulling' and leaving with some random guy. I have a male friend, and I can tell you he isn't a looker, and he has so many stories of girls who slept with him. He said that when he took out a condom, they often asked him why he wanted to use it, was it because he had an STD? Even though I'm an alcoholic (although at that stage I wasn't yet) those girls really appalled me, throwing up the one minute and then 'pulling' the next, and behaving in such masculine ways.

I had my bf take an HIV test if he wanted to not use a condom and he agreed and you know what the UK doctor said - your gf is quite demanding, isn't she? A DOCTOR actually said that! I'm sorry but just because you live in the UK doesn't mean you can't have contracted HIV. Besides his ex is from Russia, is 50 and has a relationship history as long as her arm, so I wasn't taking any chances.

Anyway, not sure where that rant came from, the sex with stranger and that stuff had nothing to do with what you said WTE, I know you are discerning and careful, I think I was just trying to explain my and the SA mindset in general. I like discussing differences between countries and cultures, people often do that in the media but here we get to do it in person.

Where is everyone else by the way?

Lots of love and hugs,
:h

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

And happy Summer Solstice to All! :rays:

Except to Trixie, who like me is stuck with Winter Solstice. Ah well, good excuse to build a crackling fire tonight.

:h

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

The drinking and pulling culture here is pretty disgusting now. I used to work in town of a night on a burger van and some of the things I would see young girls do really saddened me. I dont even think the girls realise they are being taken advantage of. I know when I was young and drunk I didnt or even when I did I was too drunk to do anything about it. There would be people having sex in doorways so drunk that they probably wouldnt know about it the next day, one night I was walking down the main road and there was a girl who had stopped to have a pee right in the middle of the road and then fell over so she was then lying in the road with her knickers round her ankles and skirt hoisted up just pissing over herself, I couldnt believe it, I went to ask did she need help and the lad with her told me to f off. I think now with increased cameras and police they have managed to clean the place up a bit but I do wonder what people make of it. A lot of these young peeps are students as well, the future of the country!! Liverpool has been trying to attract more tourists but I definately would not want to take my family out for a meal in some areas.

Do you get scared in Capetown Dizzy, knowing its such a dangerous place, or are you confident you know how to avoid places, people ect. Whenever I see South Africa its always on either nature programs, ie the penguins and beauty of the country and its wildlife, or its about crime and its showing really bad drug dens ghetto type places. We dont get to see the normal type of life there. I am also very interested in other countries and cultures.

I am still plodding on, still tired but also still sober so thats good. I actually feel to ill to drink so there is a positive in it I suppose.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Its grey and raining here Dizzy so even tho its officially summer here Im more like you and Trix in the winter today