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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Hi Play, I know the gabapentin could be adding to the tiredness, I have thought of starting taking it later in the day, I take 3 doses so maybe instead of one when I wake up I could have 1 lunchtime, 1 dinner time, 1 bedtime and see does it make any difference. I really dont want to cut down on the three doses tho because I do think it helps me a lot, it stops the headaches, it may? help my mood, and it may? help my drinking. I put a May? there because I have no evidence of this and with having been so low for so long anyway I cant say it brought me out of the depression when it didnt. But it could have stopped it getting worse, maybe? There are a lot of maybe's there I know. the only way to find out would be to stop taking it but I dont want to do that right now, I am not in a good enough state to start messing with something that does actually work (headaches) and with a chance of it working for the rest.

    Play you did mention you in your post, how are you? and your family, and spain, I really do want to know.

    Hi Sun, its lovely to ave you popping in, I have never had Skye spayed, my other dog has been done because after getting them I let them have pups and it was truly a wonderful experience for everyone, she was such a great mum, but I am too concerned about the welfare of the pups and the massive amount of dogs in rescue centres, especially of the same breed as them. They were a very popular breed for a while so there are so many of them about but then, people probably didnt realise the problems you can have with them and the responsibility so the centres are full of them. I couldnt risk her getting pregnant again and getting her spayed was a big deal, wait until so long after she has been on heat, I tried that but they got together and more pups, how can I keep them apart when she was on heat ... so I got him done. I do feel sorry for him having no balls, I dont know if he knows about it and he cant really have sex anymore which I feel sorry for him for but there was nothing else I could do. I just couldnt in all conciense(sp?0 let them have more pups. Please dont say Im cruel for doing this, some people have and it upset me, I feel bad enough about it already.

    Hi to everyone elsexx

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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Sun ? Present! HA! Glad you are feeling a bit better and back with us ? you were missed sweet lady. Oh poor Katie! Best it be done but we all know how hard it is to see our babies hurt when we can?t explain what is going on. Thankfully she is young and it should be a breeze.

      Diz ? SO excited for you! Hope you are able to get some rest on your flight over, yet I doubt it with all of the excitement. Is only family there to care for your parents ? it sounded like that would be the case, so feel OK about that.

      Play ? Thank you for your words of wisdom ? as always. Yes, one door closes to allow another to open. So true. I think I have buried too much for too many years that it is ?just time?. And WHERE are the pics I was going to post for you???????

      MYO Lady ? I agree with the others that it sounds like an allergic reaction ? the itch I mean. I get AWFUL tiredness from Topa whenever I increase my dose, but it fades shortly and then returns a bit when I increase a bit then fades again. I also get Topa Dopa a bit and while I have never gotten ?lost?, I have missed my street more than once when I was first starting it. Not a dangerous situation, but I seem to lose my concentration for a week or so ? but it returns. The same with any SEs I get ? they fade and then slightly return as I move up and then fade again. I echo moving up VERY slowly if you try again and if the itch comes back, you may need a Plan B.

      Waving hello to MamaBear!

      Houtx ? you are too quiet again. HA!

      As for me, the sun is back out a bit. Thank God. Total radio silence with buddy and that is a good thing. As the days pass, each one will get easier. I am focusing on work stuff, and sadly have to attend a funeral today of a dear friend so have taken the day off. It won?t be sad as it did not come as a surprise and it will more of a celebration of her life held at her home.

      I have moved to Step Two in the landscaping projects so excited about that. New lawn in the front now too. The work crew should be here any moment to re-do some drip systems that are overdue as well. Charlie has discovered how sweet it is to dig a hole and sleep in my flowerbeds in the cool soil in my courtyard? the little bugger! HA! So need a solution for that.

      Landscaper has called a number of times and came for dinner last night. Part of the ?plan? was he was to spray the front lawn early this morning *cough* to kill it off for replacement. Yeah right ? he had to dash to be at another job site as we both ended up getting up late. So again ? his crew on the way. Keeping heart out of it as much as possible but it was a great distraction last evening and I must admit to a friendship developing a bit rather than just mucking about ? so all good. And I even managed to BEHAVE for the most part in slightly sipping wine ? yea!

      Work stuff for this morn and then dressing for this funeral. Grateful it is Friday again?

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        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Space - We have a saying over here because of SO MANY dogs in shelters and dying "DON'T LITTER". I hated having Charlie neutered as such an amazing stud dog - but it was the right thing to do.

        You were NOT cruel ... you were being just the opposite! =)

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          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          OK, so I cracked and had a burger (no chips) and two glasses of wine to reward myself for two weeks without any carbs (except those from green and yellow veggies) or AL for two weeks. Ahhh... feel so much better. I know the AF brigade will crucify me but I'm ready to kick anyonyone's ass who will take me on

          I think I've done bloody well considering the amount of stress I've been under. My mom 'disappeared' for a couple of hours today, turned out she just turned all the phones off and both her and my dad was asleep but you can understand the panic with her past antics.

          So now its 8pm and I'm in bed early with a movie and perhpas a skype date later but I feel much better having had some carbs in me.

          Hmmm, WTE, sorry, I never commented on the Buddy situation. I know it must be really hard for you to let go. I also know that even though you are telling us that this is for the best you are still hurting and its not easy. But in a way I think I'm glad that this situation with the dogs happened. Well, I'm not glad it happened but I'm glad that it will perhaps make it a little bit easier for you to let go, if you take my meaning. I know you love him and will do a lot for him but he has proven time and again that he is not worthy of your love anymore. Case in point, the disapearance, the car, the dog, etc. He's taking care of number one, and I'm glad that you have the landscaper as a distraction right now.

          Perhaps Buddy is finally showing his true colours or perhaps his hurting because you rejected him. It doesn't matter, you deserve better than him. You deserve someone who is financially able to look after himself. If he can't even organize something as simple as having a dog chipped, it just doesn't sound like he is the man for you. I'm sorry. It will get easier with time. :l

          Was the Sun - Present comment a Flight of the Conchords Reference? If you don't know what I'm talking about, then I guess not. Its this really cool cult comedy about these two guys with band meetings... I'll shut up now.

          Thanks Space, you're so cute with your cheerleader emoticons. And of course you arent cruel to have your dog spayed. We have all our animals spayed, I don't really think they notice it. And how will the people know what the dog feel and what they don't? Male dogs that arent spayed also tend to be more agressive and mark their territory more, so don't listen to them.

          My mom did actually have the audacity to tell me over the phone today (when I finally found her) that she is now convinced that one of the reasons she is feeling bad is because I'm going away. Well, she said, well one of my issues is you going away. I simply said, well one of my issues is your constant mood swinging. And she said, well I suppose you are right. I am in the process of distancing myself. It may seem cruel, but its all I can do right now.

          I have organised a trip out to a farm with a big cat (lion, leapard, tiger etc.) sanctuary for the whole family on my last day. She is refusing to come. Its suppose to be a belated fathers day outing as my dad was in hospital on fathers day and I set up a business for him 'Leo helps Rhino' where he makes these cards for a Rhino foundation.

          So she said 'Well you probably don't want to come tonight as you will just have to look at my long face.' and I said 'Yes, to be honest, I dont really feel like coming tonight. I will come tomorrow.' We weren't fighting, I'm just finally allowing myself to look forward to my trip and trying to release myself from this grip her depression has over me.

          So Sunny Butt
          I'm afraid these drive by posts of yours won't do anymore. We want to know how you ARE. And how is your doggy doing? And hello to Sunny's fan club too. :welcome:

          Hi Play, I hope you get to post more soon and that you send pics to WTE also. I'd like to see them.

          Hi to Houtx, Mimi and Trixi
          , drop us a line if you can?

          OK, so excuse me if this is a bit, erm below the belt, but I have a bit of a question here and I have no one else to ask. It is Topa related but I also appreciate that its a bit sensitive. Any of you who have taken SSRI's or anything similar will probably understand why I'm asking. I would like to know if any of you had noticed a difference in sex drive while being on Topamax.

          Now, really, I don't want details, just higher, lower, or no difference will be great. And PM's are also cool. Or if you noticed nothing or don't feel like answering just ignore me. I just noticed that I haven't thought of sex while I'm on it but then I've been pretty much been arguing with bf since then and you all know that women's SD and fighting go hand in hand. So I think I'm worrying about nothing here, but perhaps any of you have seen a study online or something like that? I haven't so I don't think it really affects it much.

          Sorry, like I said, I have no one else to ask.

          Have a great evening everyone.

          Lots of hugs and love.

          :h

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            Well Dizz, what else are we here for:H:H, I take Zoloft and there has been a big difference not in the way I think about sex but in the ease of the act itself (much more difficult) and i have not had the chance to test out the Topa yet

            Play

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              See, thats what I'm worried about! The new mostly sober Dizz is quite terrified about not using AL as an aid to relax on this frontier! And even if I do drink, Topa curbs most of the buzz I can get, it makes me not really enjoy AL as it has changed my brain receptors so now AL just makes me sleepy and sometimes even grumpy - not feel buzzy and outgoing as it sometimes used to...

              Damn... It's probably not like that for everyone as I am very sensitive to this drug and I will probably relax once I'm with him but right now I'm right down nervous.

              I know, silly topic, and you guys have more serious stuff to worry about, so move along people, nothing to see here.

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Hi Dizzy I just popped back so a quick reply, and an honest one, I dont blush on here easily I have found ssri's pretty well kill my sex drive, I just dont have one,... at all, which would probably explain my long term single status. Ive also noticed that when I forget to take them I do start getting erm feelings back in places I forgot I owned, but then I start going mad and thats a bit of a put off as well. :H

                Disclaimer : (In view of my recent talking about my mental health problems I probably shouldnt use the word mad in case some peeps take me too seriously, I do not actually go mad or need sectioning because I miss a dose of ssri's just dont feel too good,... apart from the tingling below :H:H:H:H)

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                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Oh Space, you really crack me up, promise me if your doctor get you the perfect meds and you feel more outgoing, that you'll become a standup. LOL. Thanks, that really cheered me up. :H:H:H:H:H

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                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    I’ll just put it out there Diz. HA! Lack of AL when you have learned to do EVERYTHING with it (including sex) becomes a re-learning process.

                    Harder to relax, harder to be in the “mood”, harder to be um, um um lubricated? Can we say that here? LOL And yes, I have read studies (years ago) that a small percentage of us are affected libido-wise by Topa – but it was very minimal. I am pretty sure it is mostly in our heads.

                    I kind of thought I had forgotten about “down south” too until Landscaper somehow lost his swimming trunks in my spa. Trust me – it will all come rushing back! HA!

                    Buy some nice massage oils. The type that are safe “inside and out” and everything falls into place (so ta speak) LOL

                    OK . Too much info! But you made me laugh and needed that at the moment….

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                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      Okay - finally - I have time for a proper post instead of as Diz puts it - a drive-by !!

                      I have picked Katie up from the vet and she is really feeeling sorry for herself and I feel sorry for her too - poor love - she looks so forlorn....... then I opened the back door and usually both her and daisy go tearing out chasing after squirrels - well, katie FORGOT she can't do that and got about 10 yards and STOPPED. And sat down. Oh dear - she is going to be hard to keep quiet for two days.........

                      Space - you totally did the right thing having your dog fixed - totally !! And anyone that says you were wrong doesn't know what they are talking about. There are so many puppies and dogs in shelters that have no homes that you definitely did the right thing. I wonder how many dogs those folk that said you were wrong have......

                      Diz - glad that you are going to be taking a break before you leave. That is wonderful. You really need to do that. Catch your breath and get yourself together before it is all go again.

                      Okay - I don't think I am even going to get into this conversation about the libido and the topa. I laughed my head off at your lots talking about it though. Lets just say it sort of all went downhill after my BC so I have no idea if the Topa does anything or not!! And after 30 years it isn't so important anyway - although many people would disagree with me I am sure. But I do agree that the AL did play an important role for me - very definitely, so am not sure how it would be without AL - that poses an interesting umm - dang, can't think of the word. Whatever. Interesting something or other - LOL. You all seem to have lots of advice without me giving any so i shall just sit back and enjoy the scenery!! Including WTE giving advice re the landscaper losing his swimming trunks in the spa - :H:H As WTE says - EVERYTHING has to be relearned without AL. I had never thought about life like that.......

                      And Space - you cracked me up too - I needed a good laugh today and I darn well got it from you with your post and your eerrrmmmm - tingles and places you forgot you owned - lovely !!

                      And Play - who hasn't had a chance to test out the Topa yet..... I honestly have no idea if Topa has that SE. I KNOW that SSRI's do.... I wasn't going to comment was I? Well, AL helped...... until the BC.

                      Diz - I am not going to say anything at all about you having 2 glasses of wine - but then I wouldn't would I? :H After all, I am the bad penny. Seriously I think you have done so well..... glad that your mum was fine - I don't blame her for turning off her phone to be honest - my daughter (eldest) actually called work once to see if I was there 'cos I wasn't answering either my home phone or cell phone once....... I was gobsmacked and really annoyed. I will NOT be tied to my phone and NOT be available 24 hours a day....

                      WTE - I never really commented either on the Buddy situation - there was so much going on with me at the time - I talked about the gigi situation but not the Buddy situation. I am so sorry for you with it but I think in your heart you know that it is time to let it go - really hard when you feel that it was the one....... but we usually remember just the good times - never the stuff that niggled us. Maybe it is time to move forward now?

                      Diz - do NOT let your mum guilt you at all. You need to live your life.... if she chooses to be miserable that is her choice, but please don't let it affect you. You can only feel how you feel - don't let others make you feel how they want you to feel. Please? let your trip to the Big Cat Farm be a happy one.

                      Laughed at your reference to my fan club - Jan and Nora are posting here to say hi cos I am not posting on the One Step at a Time thread. I am just going to be posting here.. this is MY safe place. I am not posting anywhere else any more.

                      And so to me. I am doing much better. the meds have kicked in to a certain extent. I am just on the 10mg and am tempted to up them to 20mg myself. It would be at least 10 days before I can get an appt with my doc - and we all know how much I love her!! I will call for an appt on Monday but might go ahead and up the dosage anyway. I am way better than I was. The walking watering can of last weekend is no more and a couple of folk at work have commented that I look better and I do feel better but not as good as I know I can feel.

                      SO - is that an improvement on my drive-by's my dear Diz??

                      love and hugs to all, Love, Sun XX
                      How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        so....Rome has to come to you, eh?
                        OK!
                        I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                        Live in the Solution....not the problem

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Rome... Ive missed why you where talking about it but I love Rome, maybe I could miss a few ad's go to Rome, who knows

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            mama bear;1343270 wrote: so....Rome has to come to you, eh?
                            OK!
                            HUH ???????
                            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              OH - I get it !!!!!! ROTFLMBO - sorry - a tad slow in my old age......
                              How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                The walking entering can, oh that's funny, sorry I know you didn't feel funny at all, I guess you just can't help being funny, oh my, kind of like Poo.

                                You guys, there is way too much for me too post indicpvidually about but please know that I have been reading and crying and laughing with all of you. I am trying to find time to tell you everything that is going on a d send some pictures to WTE and I actually have a Plan that is lifting my spirits, I will post soon, maybe it will be a treasure hunt.

                                Love,
                                Play

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