New here and starting Topa and with a question

[mumtotwo]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hiya everyone!! I am going to make an appointment this week (may not get in until next week) but will hopefully work up the courage to ask for it by then. I may just have to try the migraine angle... can say they've popped up and I've done some research and just ask for it.

Welcome to the "oldies" here... I recognize many of you from previous reads on this site. I think you are ALL doing so well. It's so "comforting" to know that so many of us have a problem with wine!! I always thought that the only "problem" drinkers were those that only drank hard liquor so therefore I didn't "qualify"... ha!!!!!! I saw many women loading their carts with wine at Costco today (I didn't buy any) and wondered how many of them fit into our category or if they were all just "stocking up" for dinner parties like normal people do...

Anyway... last night with my husband before he leaves for a week on business and I'm alone with 2 kids... praying it's a good week and not a bad one for me and that the rest of the supps come in so I can start the program.

Have a great night/day everyone!

Mum xx

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Hoping - glad to hear it (Bac) wasn’t too bad for you, but I have heard some real bad stories. I forget if you live alone or not. Hell - I could be MIA for a couple of days before anyone would come looking for me and find me in some kind of trouble.

As for the hair - Christyacc's DR told her that that SE can take up to 6 months to "undo”. I really did not "shed" bad at all. I had been curling, ironing, rolling, highlighting and every other thing you can imagine on what was then 52 year old shoulder length, very fine hair. My Mom had very fine hair and it really thinned as she got older. So I think it was more a combo of all of that, the age, breakage more than loss, hereditary stuff and a hyster a few years before - more than the Topa.

It did take me well over a year to get back to a healthy weight after being off Topa.

We’ll see clearer this time. A few months ago I chopped my hair much shorter which brings out all my natural curls. So no more of that curling nonsense and hardly any blow-drying. It feels really healthy right now and much thicker – I’ll keep ya posted! I just finished week two last Thursday but am at 75 mg and moving to 100 tomorrow.

Thanks for the tip on Rogaine. I was always under the impression it was totally a different “formula” – not just strength. Yep – the liquid is a bit of a pain as it drips. (I use on my eyebrows too – always wanted cool eyebrows HA! No luck)

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Holla to muh gal pals again -
It's been a great weekend. Great to have you back again WTE - and welcome again to the newcomers(me!! LOL) I really have not gotten much of an appetite suppressant off Topa unless I start upping the dose. I have been on it 6 wks and no great weight loss...5 - 7 lbs. that I gained on BAC. I want to lose the 10 that I've gained in happiness since my divorce! LOL Seriously, have wanted that as much as the loss of desire for AL! UGH- kills me. Will stay at 200 for awhile anyway.

So knock on wood, no hair loss I can see, though I do notice the "Topa Dopa"...as I've said, I mispronounce and search for words. It's annoying, but just seems to be a quirk and nothing anyone looks oddly at me for. WTE, you were wise not to get on BAC - it would've made you spacier than I don't know what...a comet! Shoooo, girrrrrrr, go onnnnn.

Anyway - tried to play golf twice today. Got rained out both times. Spent the afternoon drinking beer(just2!!) at a bar with my boytoy, which wasn't all bad!! :-)) Although I wish I had come home and had the chance to exercise. Spent the day doing NOTHING!!!! But it was good...:-)) Tomorrow have good prospects with friends to watch football...hate football but the venue promises men and comraderie...to hell w/ paperwork!! PLan to exercise before I go! Wish I had an extra day -

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning everyone - WTE - welcome back. It is good that you are here - so many have questions re the Topa so it is great that we have another experience!! I hope that this time, your weight loss isn't too bad. I know a lot of folk on here would love to have that problem! Anyway, do you have any plans on getting round that if it starts to happen again?

Mum - however you end up asking for the Topa good luck! When is your appt? let us know what happens won't you?

Houtx - glad that things are still going well for you too - going to the bar and having (just) 2 beers is great!

Airam - So nice to see you again -how are you feeling now? Good to have you back.

And Tay - how about you? How are things going? 2run - what is happening to you too? I feel as if I haven't posted here in a while, but it has only been a few days!! Hope to catch up with you all later,

Hugs, Sun xx

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello Mum - Looks like you’ve been around the block a bit here too as well. Have you tired Topa before? Success?

Mum – I think the idea of asking the DR for Topa for migraines is perfect. Just do some research as I’m not sure how high of dosage they prescribe and he will probably ask you. You may even want to say you’ve taken it in the past with success (if he has not been your DR forever) Good luck and keep us posted!

Had to laugh at your “not a problem if we drink wine” concept – isn’t it the truth! Always such a chic idea back in the day with the girls for a luncheon on the patio on the Bay. I am now one of those gals at Costco – and there ain’t no party planned except for one! HA!

Hey a Houtx! 5-7 pounds was about the rate I was losing too – about a pound a week, except it never stopped. Was OK at first. Lost that extra few I could drop but then kept on losing. So after about 8 months into it I was over 25+ pounds down which was BADDDD. Just be careful. It sounds like the wine is down??? And do tell … is this the old BoyToy????? Which one??? **smirk**

Hello Sunshine! I’ve read so many of your posts. You are quite an inspiration and such kind words for so many. I’m curious as to what made you decide to stop the Topa. Was it that you just felt you didn’t “need” it anymore? Have you started again?

As for me and the weight loss – as I typed above – the same thing is happening to Houtx. It’s about a pound a week that just goes poof. I’m having an awful time eating, but made a real effort yesterday and trying to stay that coarse now that I am more conscience of it this time around. It’s funny, that now that I recall, the log in the book had you list your weight weekly as well as your dosage – although I don’t remember weight loss really being addresses as a possible SE.

I did some serious “healthy” shopping yesterday and bought all kinds of small “snack” items like raw almonds and dried fruits and protein bars and small stuff that I am more apt to nibble on through the day. And I stocked up on Muscle Milk – although that’s a backup plan right now. I would be happy to drop 10 pounds and hold. HA! And, I WILL be in Greece for 2 weeks coming up here in 9 days, so doubt I will have any problems indulging over there! LOL Hopefully mostly on the food and not too much wine!

OK – And please, I am not trying to blow my horn here – I ma just SO blown away by what is happening to me!!! As I have said before, in the past 20-25 years, I can count my AF days on one hand. Really. Really sad.

So after my run of about 4 days of stress, wayyy over drinking, not eating and feeling like I was dying – I had a day with 1 glass of wine . The next 2 glasses of wine. Unheard of. The 2 AF days in a rows! WTH???

So yesterday I am finally starting to feel normal again and not quite so damn polluted. Figures – think about wine. UGH And I need to grocery shop and I ponder as to if I should buy a bottle or not and say – oh well, why not? I will have 2 glasses, and then pour the rest out. I have always dreamed of being able to drink just 2 glasses an evening – I would be fine with that.

I drink KJ Chard and lift a bottle and then think “Let’s shake this up a bit” and put it back. I instead choose a slightly less expensive Merlot. Not that I don’t like reds – it’s just that I drink them in colder weather with meals and tend to sip much slower. Break the patterns – if you know what I mean.

So I get home and put the bottle up in the cupboard where I can’t see it and take my second does of Topa at 5PM and tell myself “we will wait one hour and see how this goes”. And at 6PM I open it and pour a very small glass (not the 4 to a bottle size glass I normally pour HA!) I also poured a large glass of cranberry juice and carried both to my desk. Houtx – you know this pattern! The computer – the wine – here we go!

Sit down and take a small sip and wait for that sweet flavor that I have missed for the past few days to come rushing back and satisfy this “something”. NADA! It was like errrrrrr – I really could be doing without this. And drank some juice and worked on my computer. A bit later took another sip and then pushed it to the back of my desk and went back to my cranberry juice. In just a short time I thought “This is STUPID – WHY am I drinking this when I am not even enjoying it?” And I got up and poured the glass down the drain as well as the entire bottle! HA! I’m standing at the sink thinking – This is just TOO WEIRD! I want to tell someone!!! Ah, but I am in the alone ….

Now I also know that may sound pretty wasteful, but I know that if had I left it around, I would have continued to sip at it – out of HABIT. Not craving and not because I was enjoying it. And come today – any left would be calling at me again. So again the house is AL free and I will start fresh. Yes, I threw away a $9 bottle of wine – but in the past 3 days I have NOT spent $156.48 (or more) on Kendall Jackson Chardonnay!!! I might need to go shopping. LOL

So I’m not sure what will happen today. I am going to increase to 50/50 today from 25/50. I want to be at least at that point before this trip as I know there will be MUCH temptation to be really partying. I am going with a GF that is BIG drinker and group of 42 singles – men and women. I really don’t want to drink this trip away!

I can sure tell the cravings start to hit about 4-5PM and I am ready for that second dose. I am hoping taking 50mg at 10-11AM will help hold that line a bit better.

Well – here is to a great Sunday to all of us on the battlefield!

WaitingToExhale =)

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Morning WTE! I think you are doing really well - I remember drinking my Guinness and thinking "why am I drinking this?" and tipping it out - it isn't wasteful - for us it is money and sanity saved!

I stopped the Topa because I wasn't feeling happy. I am always happy! Even the cart boys at Wal-Mart have commented that I am always smiling - with Topa, I just felt sort of flat. So, after 8 months, I wondered if I titrated down if my happy would come back - two weeks went by and it didn't. then I broke my foot and was stuck at home for a week or so - and thought "hhmm, a drink would be a nice idea". IDIOT. Since then I have found out that it wasn't the Topa, but me just not having learned every how to deal with life AF. Once I started drinking again, my happy was back - and I mean 24/7, not just when I was drinking, which was just a few Guinness in the evenings. so, yes I am back on the Topa - just 25 mg a day and go up tomorrow. I did start it again earlier but jumped in at too high of a dose according to my doc so it just wasn't the same. I do think you are brave hoping it works when you are going on what sounds like a super holiday - wow - but I think we all would understand if things don't go quite as you are hoping. I know I couldn't go AF - maybe try to cut down - but that is way too big of a temptation for me.

I just have to try and figure out how to live my life w/o AL !! I mean, I can stop - but I need to be happy too. Lots of suggestions and many thoughts - just not sure yet. But I will do this, one way or the other. Oh - re the weight loss, I lost probably about, I am not sure - I was roughly 140 or therabouts and went down to 124 at my lowest. But I am now around 130 which is good for me. I still look skinny though - but always have done. I think your stocking up on all that stuff is a very good idea - sounds like you have a better plan this time. I love Dark chocolate almonds and also Brazil nuts and worked out the other day that I had eaten 1200 cals worth - in one day!!!!! Just of the nuts. So I might cut back just a little on those LOL

Anyway WTE - it is so nice to have you here with us - the more that we have that have had experience, the more we can help those who are new to it.

Have a wonderful Sunday - I need to DO something instead of playing on the computer!

Hugs, Sun xx

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE - your news is great!! So glad you are feeling BLAH about the wine!! I can't believe you'd pour good wine down the drain though - I hate to waste the money. But isn't that Blah/ehhh/errr feeling the weirdest?? Not sure if it comes after being sick or what. Today I had those ehhhhh feelings about food and wine. Am having a glass of wine anyway b/c I've been doing paperwork all afternoon and need something, but it doesn't taste very good...can't think of what does. Can't think of what I want to eat, but am hungry-ish.

I get restless and have bites and sips...but that's stopped for the time being. It's a "not sure what I want" feeling! As for the boytoy, yes, it's the one from last year - he's resurfaced, just as a golfing friend though (w/ other benefits on occasion!! LOL). Not a big deal - fun :-))

Good to hear from everyone

[Lo0p]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wait...WAIT. The one with the venison in the freezer?

[hoping4better]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Holy cow, WTE, that is so impressive!!! Pouring wine down the drain?! Drinking cranberry juice? I'm in awe. BTW, if you want your eyebrow hair to grow, don't use Rogaine, use Latisse. I use a generic version of it and get if for $10 a bottle. Seriously. My eyelashes are so long and it's supposed to work for eyebrows too. Wish I could pour it on my head! PM me if you're interested. And I do NOT live alone! I have a 4 yr old, 13 yr old triplets and two stepkids, 15 and 16. Plus 3 cats, one of whom is old and incontinent. Oh yeah, and my husband, haha.

houtx, sounds like you are losing weight to me. I'd take a pound a week for sure!

sun, I know what you mean about living life AF. As I have stopped drinking as much and been more sober in the evenings, it feels weird. I don't know what to do with myself. I could keep going on that bottle....but it doesn't appeal to me.

mum, I know what you mean about Costco. I always wonder the same thing when I see other women with wine in their carts!

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ok - general comments here:
You have to be careful with Latisse, from what I understand. NEVER put it on your lower lashes; Yeah, H4B I'm amazed at how you cope with all those kids! Isn't it funny how we go out of Costco, the grocery store, all the other places we haunt...we space it out so as not to appear like we buy these HUGE amounts of wine that we do. I have several places I go to and buy several bottles of wine that will last me several days. Oh, the dance we do.
But I buy the big bottles - I am on a budget, WTE. You are buying the stuff I save for holidays. So it KILLS me to hear you say you POUR it out. OMG - but I understand. It's kindof like the days when I smoked and I got so sick of it I flushed cigarettes down the toilette. Now that's something you could do!!!! :-))

Anyway - so funny you are lurking on here, LoOp! I tried to FB friend you but have not heard back. Guess you do not want me as a friend! *sniff* But yes, this BT is the one who hunts and stores venison in his freezer. LOL I realized, without realizing it, I have 3 BTs! This one in town and 2 others out of town!! One who I met at a beachhouse party 6 yrs ago and we kept in touch...we flirted and hooked up...he lives in DC and travels the world working for the State Dept. No comment. Fun guy though.

Other BT resurfaced thanks to FB a few months ago...he was a soldier boy in New Orleans when I was there with 2 girlfriends in January of '87. We have just enjoyed a renewed friendship thanks to my sortof unique name off here. He found me! We have flirted and relived that fun night 23 yrs ago...even talked about a reunion. sigh. Wouldn't that be FUN??!! Isn't life a trip...love FB!!

So - good weekend for me, friends~ I was good. Hope so too for the rest -

[Lo0p]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

houtx;963491 wrote: LoOp! I tried to FB friend you but have not heard back. Guess you do not want me as a friend! *sniff*

Hold on there.... :huh:

If you are female, sexy and we don't have any mutual friends then I tend to think you are one of those spam 1-900 marketing type FB personas. I get those like 3 times a week and never respond to them. :H

That's why a little message with your MWO or TSM name can be very helpful.

Are your initials in here? : JAEBSOCHFP (Trying to be sly )

[2Run]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi guys! Sorry I've been missing in action! Sun I think you asked after me a few days ago...thanks for wondering. I've been both busy and a bit down in the dumps/discouraged so haven't been posting but have been following along. You all really seem to be doing so well. WTE, congratulations on your enormous breakthrough. You must feel so relieved to be back on the path! Houtx, what you just said...

houtx;963491 wrote: Isn't it funny how we go out of Costco, the grocery store, all the other places we haunt...we space it out so as not to appear like we buy these HUGE amounts of wine that we do. I have several places I go to and buy several bottles of wine that will last me several days. Oh, the dance we do.

...SO FUNNY...I so do that and always felt ashamed of it and like I was the only person in the entire world to do such a silly thing! And I always felt like the people in the stores knew all along what I was doing anyway. LOL.
So I'm up to 100 today, which is the max dosage my doctor prescribed for migraines. I need to ask her if I can go up to 200 because they're only getting a little bit better anyway but my guess is she'll tell me to stay on 100 for at least 4 weeks before upping it. I've seen a few specialists on the internet say that sometimes 200 is effective for migraines but I think mainstream docs go with the 100 so who knows if she'll even agree. ANYWAY, it's only day 1 but I'm not feeling the big "ah-ha" yet. I wanted today to be "the day" and here I am with my chardonnay. I watched Rain in my Heart over the weekend and was terrified and shocked (have any of you seen it? you can find in on You Tube) yet last night I still had my usual 5 glasses of wine and my standard head ache this morning. What is my deal?! It's like I'm self sabotaging! Why is it so darn HARD?!?! Grrrr. And the appetite is still all over the board...
Gosh...could I feel any sorrier for myself???? Pfffft...
Oh, and the $10 generic Latisse...is that a script?
(((hugs)))

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Lo0p;963506 wrote: Hold on there.... :huh:

If you are female, sexy and we don't have any mutual friends then I tend to think you are one of those spam 1-900 marketing type FB personas. I get those like 3 times a week and never respond to them. :H

That's why a little message with your MWO or TSM name can be very helpful.

Are your initials in here? : JAEBSOCHFP (Trying to be sly )

LoOp - I tried to pm you, but it wouldn't take for some reason. Options were "loopy/loopyloo/etc" ...I am a female from Houston, TX...if you pm me I will tell you who I am am and then we can be fwends!! :-))

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

2Run -
Do NOT beat yourself - I know EXACTLY how you feel!! What part of the country are you in, BTW? Just curious? We are all in this together and at various stages. What is "Rain In My Heart"? A movie/Utube thing? Am very curious. If your Dr won't prescribe over 100 mgs you might consider ordering online. I am sticking to my current dose of 200 for awhile. I am feeling the effects pretty well here and just want to let things "settle in" before I dose up any more. Yesterday I probably could've gone AF, I just wanted a few glasses of wine. I self medicate. I get bored/lonely. Want to feel that buzz and dull feeling in order to sleep.

I got all my work done, went to bed at a reasonable time and woke up feeling great. Hope to do same tonight. I've got more work I need to go sit on the couch and do, so need to get off this damn computer and do it. UGH!! Anyway 2Run, it is hard because it just IS. Life is full of kids and things, and the mundane and scales and money problems and day to day minutia we didn't sign up or plan for. It is not what we thought it would be and then again it is that much and more. But it is not the crap that Hollywood force-feeds us with Caeron Diaz and even Vanessa Redgrave who mumbles her lines and makes it look easy to find her man 50 yrs later. iHurl. "A Classic Hollywood Love Story" they call this stuff. Bull. I watched TSM all day yesterday. 'nuff said

Anyway, 2Run. We drink because we like it and we are on here because we don't like it just enough to want to slow down for awhile. It will be ok. Nne of us are stupid. Lighten up and don't be too hard on yourself. You are young to be looking for help and that is good. The appetite will settle down, I think, according to what sunshine & WTE say, and what I feel. 200 is where I have really felt the prolonged ehhhhhs. So I'm sticking here.

Sorry I rambled. Am feeling the kumbaya...One last thought: Florence Henderson may be a total dork on the dance floor but her bod is a Brick House!! LOL :-))

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi To All!

Sun – I don’t remember losing the “happy” when I was on Topa before – but I had also not stopped drinking before either. Hell, I was trying to hold it to 8 glasses a day! Yikes!

I swear, being stuck in a house and bored can bring any those of us “prone” to head for the AL. Sorry to about your foot and the set back. But it sounds like you back on a path and perhaps have some insight now that it’s just not all about the beast. There is life after – and re-learning how to live it without AL is a whole new game for sure! Hugs to you.

Oh, and as for me being AF on vaca – I know better than to try that. In fact I know better than to try that right now each morning when I get up! HA! I’m not even 3 weeks back into this and if I were to tell myself I am going to be Af – I know I would blow it in my head. Instead, for now, I tell myself “it’s OK to buy a bottle of wine, limit yourself to two glasses and pour out the rest so it’s not around”. So far – I just haven’t wanted the taste. WHAT?????????? HA! HA!

Late yesterday afternoon I needed to go to the corner store and the to the electronic store which also happens to be close to my favorite sushi place. I often buy wine at this place as well. Walked in, headed to the counter and passed right buy the wine. WOW! Thought in the back of my head “I’ll run my errands and if I feel like it later I pass this store on the way home”. Ran my errands and then had a brainstorm! Sushi, which I seemed to be craving the fresh fish – and a small sake. Perfect. No wine to buy in the way home or have in the house afterwards or pour down the drain – and that was what I did. It tasted pleasant with lots of fresh food and I came home feeling wonderful. Now almost 6PM – had there been wine around I may have just poured a glass. Out of habit!

Houtxie! I can SOOOOOOO relate! I am doing the same thing! What do I want? The sushi worked for me. Was reading up on fish and healing the liver. So going to try and do more of that as well as drinking TONS on water with fresh lemon juice from my tree. Isn’t it just the oddest feeling??? I know you drink wine about like I do (maybe not as much) but our patterns were about the same. I really do think we’re on t something here!

You and you BoyToys! Love it! And only Loop would remember he was the one with the venison! HA! HA! Loop the lurker!!!! I need to get something shaking again soon – perhaps a young Greek God? LOL

Hoping! OMG I FORGOT about all those kids and the hubby! How could I???? I have no clue how you do it. In my book – sobriety and children could not survive together.

As for the Latisse – do you have dark eyes? I’ve heard one of the Ses for people with light eyes (and mine are) is that you can get permanent color spots. Have you read that? And hell yeah – pour it on your head! LOL

Hi 2Run – Echoing Houtx. We’ve been down a few paths together with a bit of discouragement. Hell, I was on Topa 4 years ago and trying to hold the line at 8 glasses a day without much success! I have NO CLUE why this time around it has hit me like a shovel over the head. I order from River and did so 4 years ago. I started 50/50 yesterday, so this is Day 2 at that dosage.

So you really Do have migraines on top of this AL nonsense we have all gotten ourselves into? How long have you been on Topa? Does is seem to be kicking in at all?

I’m finding that the biggest trick I am playing on myself that is helping is just keeping it out of the house. I know, sounds simple, but I was always one of those Costco stock up gals! And if it’s here, I say screw it and pour a glass – even if it really is not very appealing right now. I was running around all day and passed a hundred places I could have stopped to buy wine and didn’t. I did take my second dose a bit earlier today- about 4:30 as a felt just a “touch” of “should I go to the corner?” coming on – and never went. I won’t go now and it’s only a few hours before I’ll tuck in with the pup in his bed (beast weighs 98 pounds LOL) to write and watch some TV and another (OMG!!!) AF day!

I’m kind of bummed that there are not more active Topa threads happening right now. I am tempted to back to some of the ones and look some people up and see what happened. I KNOW that when AL stops being an “issue” people fade away – as they do when they get discouraged. But 4 years ago this forum had a MASS of people that were working with Topa!

I’m really happy for those finding success in any manner they can – I just would like to see more people know about Topa again.

Hugs to all of you

WTE