Hi Everyone.
Sorry I?ve been a bit quiet ? just seems like a lot going on right now.
Baclofan: Thank you SO much for the info. I?ll discuss it the DR on the 19th. Gosh, that still seems SO far away ?
Sun: I don?t envy your hear wav. Have been seeing it on TV. I?ve never understood how people can live in places that have that type of climate so often. I go bonkers having to live in AC ? hardly ever turn mine on. Windows are always open and for the most part I get a nice breeze coming up the mountains from the ocean. Enjoy that pool! Wish I had one.
Rainy: Good to see you and so sorry to hear about your husband. I will echo Sun in saying that double dosing may not be the way to go. There are studies that say it is MORE effective to move up slowly. We?re here if you have any questions about the dosage.
Play!: Loving the pictures ? send more! And yes, make sure you get a spot of fun in for yourself as well!
Space: I hope you have ordered more Topa as it can takes weeks to arrive (at least it does from River). Maybe you should chart as well. I REALLY felt it help me is seeing which direction I was heading.
Houtx: Hope you had a great BD!!!
As for me, I am just in a damn funk. I?m pissed off at myself for how much wine I am drinking and counting the days until I can see this new DR. Was almost tempted to start Topa again ? but then got on the scale and OH-OH! I just have to ride this out for now.
Had a lovely time at the 4th of July party although we did end up leaving early. My friend was not real pleased with me and he had left his car at my house. I tried to talk him into getting someone to drive him by later ? but he refused. Charlie was having a BLAST at this big compound and waterfalls and 40-50 people giving him attention.
I had been told that no fireworks displays were close. Bad information! About 8:15 PM they (the city-not party givers) fired off a test one. OMG! Charlie went totally nuts. I was out of there pretty quick and thankfully home before and big ?shows? began. I am far enough up in the hills to be away from all of it and with the windows closed and TV on, he was fine. I had given him a small dose of doggie valium ? but at the party it was REALLY loud and way too close. Oh well ? It was fun for a few hours anyways.
I did my final farewell to ?buddy? yesterday. Honestly cried for hours about it all ? but it is just time for him to be gone. There just comes a point sometimes when the hurt becomes too much. I don?t feel treated as a friend any longer in any way, shape or form. I feel used and abused by him. And so I sat and wrote an email and cried and wrote and cried. I just all the crappy history out there right up to this recent nonsense. I know it is for the best, but it still hurts. Almost losing Charlie was the final straw.
He responded briefly, but mostly to criticize me ? although he did say he understood and wished he had been a better person in my life. He said good-bye as well. I will hurt for a while ? but I know it will ease with some time. I just feel so damn alone in this world right now. I need to change my will, and I honestly can?t think of anyone that important things to me like my hoes and shop, who I would will them to. I have one living sister who I am not close to at all. My Dad is in his mid 90s. My half-brother living abroad is already filthy rich. It?s weird. No, it?s painful to think about. How did I get here? I feel like someone stole my joy ?
Must go as it?s my time to open the shop. Thank you to everyone for the support and advice. Hugs to all of you ?
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