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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Just a shout out to everyone … Still alive and plodding through the days. =)

    Houtx: Hope you got my email back. I really don’t see a trip to Houston in my near future just because of the shop, Charlie, blah, blah, blah. But a very sweet invite.

    How have you been doing with the wine? Are you still taking the L-Glut?

    Diz: You sound like a very busy but happy girl! =)

    Yes, I am hoping this new DR knows something about metabolism! I have always had a very high metabolism and been on the slim side.

    Space: Thank you also for the concern.

    Congrats on your son! You must be very proud – very cool.

    And please be careful about the sprits. I know in that arena we are the same. Vodka evaporates before my very eyes if it’s in the house.

    Have you re-ordered yet? What’s the plan? Glad your tests came out well! I am sure I am in for a tons of them too when the DR appointment ever happens. UGH. But long overdue.

    Play: Good news on the son-in-law and agreeing to at least one appointment of therapy! It’s a start!

    I knew you would understand about this stuff being on your medical record. I just can’t risk it. Plan B would be to again purchase a group policy for the shop, although I really don’t have many that need it (have husbands, etc). It wouldn’t solve it all, but at least they could not cancel me. I fear about the costs. Who knows what will happen with this new healthcare program – and it is so far down the road anyways.

    I have a guy friend that also had an AL problem and confessed all to his Dr. That was years ago. It still haunts him and just a year ago or so he was denied 100% any life insurance policy. Not that I really need any, but that stuff stays on your records forever. Scary.

    And yes Play, the drinking has increased since I stopped the Topa, but I was slipping a bit before that and was really considering increasing my dose. I was at 50/100 up until just about a few weeks ago. Some days I was forgetting my evening dose.

    You sound like you have found at least a small bit of time to relax and enjoy. Oh how I wish I could visit there sometime – maybe. I think you and Sun should come to San Diego! =) I have plenty of room!


    Sun: Too funny about your cherry tomatoes! Charlie gets into my strawberry bed if I leave my garden gate open, but so far has not discovered my tomatoes. LOL

    And stay strong with that darn DR of yours! Argghh. You must feel so frustrated about it all. River delivered in about 2 weeks – if it comes to that.

    **********

    I have not gone back on the Topa and really am not sure what I am going to do. Considering starting a small does again since the DR apt got put back so far. I’ve stopped weighing myself as often just because it freaks me out. But I can say I have eaten “well” the past couple of days – thanks to friends. Something has to stick after dinner last night! HA!

    My “ski buddy” whom I dated at one time (from Match) called yesterday. Said he was in the mood for lobster and would I join him. He really is a sweetheart and asked if he could be brazen enough to invite himself over. So over he came with 2 live Main lobster and all the trimmings. Unfortunately also with 4 bottles of wine to do a “flight”. Shezzz…

    We had fun cooking together and took Charlie for a short walk. Don’t think I posted it here but I fractured my knee about a week ago – thankfully slight! But, can’t walk too far but at least I am off the crutches. Anyways, it was a great meal with tons of butter and breads and even dessert. And then we got to talking a bit serious ….. UGH

    Without going into much detail, I told him about seeing this “under cover” DR. He works in commercial insurance so is pretty up to knowledge on such issues. I explained my fears of losing my policy or increased rates, etc. Flip! So his response? He asked me to marry him! Chit! I would then be on his insurance, blah, blah, blah. And he was damn serious about it.

    This is a guy that 3 years or so ago I felt was getting too serious. On paper he is great and I do enjoy his company. But I could never imagine being married to him! He has 2 adult (late 20’s) sons living with him. He plans on retiring in the next year or so and keeping his house here but spending much time up in Mammoth (6 hours away) which is where his other house is. I stopped seeing him for quite a long time, but we then kind of became buds. We would still ski together and I would stay at his Mammoth house but in the spare room. I have always worried that he was still serious about me, but let it all play out. He is the one I went to the 4th of July party with.

    And then last night. Good grief. I am sure the few glasses of wine were talking as well, but I could not believe my ears when he seriously asked me to marry him. We talked logistics and basically I was not giving him the answer he wanted. I know I hurt him bad without intent! He went to the restroom and I went to another shortly after and when I came back out into the living room – he was gone! I know he takes ADs (no clue what) and had at least 4 glasses of wine so should NOT have been driving! I phoned his cell and he said he left because I “wasn’t getting “him. I feel awful for hurting him again.

    So … I feel like I am living in a soap opera! HA!

    I’m not sure if I believe in such things, but Mercury went retrograde yesterday. Being a Virgo, I am supposed to be overly affected by Mercury. PLUS – I am a triple Virgo! LOL If any more chit comes down the tubes I’m not sure what I am going to do! I swear every time it goes retrograde something weird happens – like last night.

    Anyways, back to the nutrition and eating stuff. I’m having a tough time find “power shake” stuff that is lactose free. I can’t eat ice cream or any dairy other a bit of cheese now and again. I just need to do more research on it. If someone brought me lobster every night I think I could gain weight! HA! HA! Just don’t bring a proposal with it. LOL

    I’m going to try very hard to have a great day today. The sun is coming out and it should be warm again. I wish I did not feel so overwhelmed by everything – but I think it is the wine that is part of the issue. Add to the list of crap on my plate is I now have “ground wasps” somewhere on my property. I finally called a bee company yesterday to see what they could do. They couldn’t find the “hole” or holes that they are nesting in. But I have 2 acres – so pretty daunting project. Charlie has already been stung once (although the bee guy said he probably just stepped on a dead one on the new lawn) but I can’t even walk across in in bare feet. PPfffttt. AND, in him looking at my property, in my courtyard I have a large double chaise. He says “is that a black widow spider web?” pointing to my chaise. Frig! Rattle snakes, gophers popping up on my new lawn, rabbits eating the perimeter of it .. and now spiders??? Needless to say, I am doing a good washing down of my patio this afternoon! I think I need to write a reality show …. =)

    Off to the shower. Bless all of you!

    With love and appreciation …

    WTE

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      OMG - WTE !!!! your life really does read like a soap opera!! You are breaking hearts all over! I bet you were totally gobsmacked when your friend asked you to marry him - how sweet is that!! And you must have felt so - gosh, I can't even think of the word I am looking for - so humbled - comes to mind - that he would ask - obviously he loves you to ask, but to ask when you are going through all this. Oh dear - poor guy. And does this mean you have lost a friend? Oh gosh - you really are having it thrown at you from every which way aren't you? I am happy for you that you have friends, but sad that they want more than you want to give. Sad that the friends that you want more from won't give more. Life is such a conundrum isn't it?

      I DO believe in such things as the planets being in various alignments - sort of - I know when there is a full moon that all the crazies come in to where I work! My F-I-L was really into all that sort of stuff and did my chart for me many years ago, but I haven't had anything read for me for years.

      SO sorry about your spiders, bees, wasps and gophers - not to mention rattlesnakes. Please don't harm the bees will you - they are having a hard enough time as it is...... I do understand about you don't want you or Charlie stung, but bees are a dying species - here they are getting very hard to see - I plant anything I can in my garden to get them to come to my garden. They love my lavender and when katie sees them, she watches them, but seems to know to sort of keep her distance. I am sure one of these days I will hear a yelp and she will have gone too close though!

      I have taken the fence around the tomatoes down - I tripped on it when i was picking toms today and almost broke my wrist. I don't care if the dogs have some of them - I think hubs went overboard with the fence, plus they could still get in from the other raised bed which means they went through my peppers anyway!

      Oh - need to go - back later - love and hugs to all,

      love, sun XXX
      How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Mercury In Retrograde HA!

        LOL Sun! I would never hurt my bees!

        What I DID learn yesterday from the “bee guy” (my, I have a lot of traffic around here! HA!) … is that I have TONS of honey bees. A great thing.

        But - I also have “ground wasps” which can look a bit similar and like bees.

        Accordingly to him, they are loving the water on the new lawns and taking it back to the hive (in the ground).

        They are NOT aggressive nor the type that attack animals (or people) and really there is nothing to be done about the wasps unless he could find the hole(s) where they are living. Which he couldn’t find.

        So I now walk carefully on the lawn and even Charlie seems to have learned they are not a danger and just walks by them and they move as he approaches. Nature is SO weird up here! LOL

        Add a cougar (LMAO HAD to edit this line - REAL Mountain Lions - not as me cougar) this morning and my day is complete! FLIP! And with two young cubs just traversing the top of my hill! She’s hunting for them, or teaching them I guess. Hope my rabbit population drops a bit. HA! Could not grab my camera fast enough … but they are beautiful animals and rarely see them move about in late mornings.

        So.. how about that vaca at my house??? LMAO

        As for ski bud, I TXT him this AM to make sure he was home safe. All I got back was an “I’m sorry”. I think we could patch things up, but I am not being fair to him if I do. Marry him? Hummm. Not in love with him but he sure could solve a lot of issues for me! J/K! And yes, he is in love with me so that is just SO unfair to do to anyone.

        Eating leftover lobster .. so that’s a good thing! HA!

        And hell … let her eat a few tomatoes. They are good for the pups! LOL You MUST take a picture of this happening! Just cracks me up!

        Here’s the famous courtyard … cougars up on my hill this AM. Wasp lawn nowin the back. HA!

        [img][/IMG]

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Woo - so cute, WTE! I am in Dallas visiting my son who is working here & staying wth my sister. So much fun hanging out. UGH - feeling myself about to pass out, will talk more later.

          Nitey nite!

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            Soap Operas All:H:H:H,
            and Houtx couldn't keep your eyes open, Oh No, well first off, yes I did have a nic relaxing weekend, cooked chicken noodle soup for the kinds, comfort food for us all, you know:h, thats what mothers are for, walked on the Ramblas on Saturday also, then actually spent Sunday with the kids and in-laws at the in-laws house sitting by the pool relaxing and had lunch. I actually really like the large family of In-laws here, they have been very welcoming of me andi like their son as well, (my daughter's husband). Space this visit has been totally work and I have had no idea of when relaxation time would come but I have been thinking of something as I am about to explain in the next paragraph.

            I am thinking of us girls having a Girls Holiday here in Spain during the best time of the year next year, late June, the weather is beautiful and there are no crowds. We could have a beautiful apartment in the city for a few days very cheap and also go to the beach house in Begur for a few days. It would give us something to look forward to and be a real treat for us. I know my way around enough that I think it would be rather a nice relaxing holiday. So let's start thinking about it.

            WTE, I would love to come visit when I have some down time, I love San Diego, when my children were young we took a family vacation there every year for many years.

            Any changes for the better WTE? Your place looks just beautiful, By the way.

            Sun, I know that doctors always support each other, it is just a law of being a doctor, they can never go against each other so there is no use to give the real reason for changing doctors. You could say something like that you want a male doctor, or you prefer an older doctor with more experience, just never that you don't get along with a doctor, just make up something. And then just go ahead a buy online also.

            Ok, bye for now, will try to write a little more later, has been a busy couple of days.

            Love to everyone.
            Play:h

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Hi everyone

              Sorry that I've been quiet. I guess I'm just used to having so much free time and having to adjust to sharing a small flat with bf is taking some time getting used to. Not that I'm not loving it, we're just still at that stage where we do everything together when he's here but that will wear off over time.

              We are going to see a Musical/Opera by the Cape Town Opera company on Saturday called Porgy and Bess - a tribute to Gershwin. They reset the musical in South Africa and the tickets are quite reasonable and is at the London Coliseum. And on Monday we are going to an Irish Racing even, so looking forward Have never been to the races but will have to check that I have the right clothes to wear as its a whole day even and formal.

              Yes Space, I will come see you some time but it will have to be in a little while as I have to save up. I only got to bring one suitcase with me and as bf left most of his belongings in Germany we are starting from scratch, so its quite an expensive endeavour. Also, living in Windsor is really expensive, so we registered a card to the house yesterday so we can do online shops at supermarkets other than Waitrose.

              WTE, pleasure about setting up the thread, sorry for not checking up on there more regularly, I'm struggling to prioritise my time and I've got lots of work to do today. Got woken up by a bailiff today as bf didnt register with the electricity company so I just spent 4 hours sorting out his paperwork... So its almost 2pm and I'm only just starting with my work.

              BUT he's really spoiling me in terms of taking me places and even home cooking. Sunday he made me roast lamb and roast potatoes with lovely carrots and beans on the side. I have never had such good home cooking in my life so I guess I'll have to step up my cooking game here. Well, not quite as cool as your guy with his lobster but still

              BTW I think he was way out of line on that one. Something in the way that you explained it almost gives me the idea that he planned it from the start. Perhaps heard you were in a bad space and thought he would 'crawl' into your heart that way and that you will learn to love him in the end. I know he came over as trying to help you but still, thats a very hectic thing to lay on someone.

              Sun
              , have you decided yet what you are going to do about your doctor/meds? I had a laugh over your doggies and that tomatoes. One book I have, the lady that wrote it said her one cat just LOVES eating her tomatoes, so I guess its not that unusual.

              Play
              , a visit to Spain next year sounds like a fab idea, will definitely come if I'm still in the UK. Have to of course see how things go with bf and visas etc but am positive for the moment.

              Hi to everyone else, sorry I have to dash, have a client breathing down my neck.

              :h

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Okay - I went to reply and I think there is a post missing? I know I didn't imagine your picture WTE - was there a post that went with it?????? Where did it go? Why did it go? Am I imagining things? I KNOW it was here earlier - are you fooling with me ??? ROTFLMBO !! BTW - I have never been able to delete a whole post - how did you do that???? I am confused - you must remember that I am a Bear Of Little Brain.......

                Okay - Play - glad that you are enjoying yourself there - yes, Spain is SO family orientated. That must be nice once you get used to it. Not being used to it, it would take some getting used to for me. As far as all of us coming to Spain, it is a lovely idea, but as I go to UK to see my family, i probably won't have enough leave to do both. I will probably be able to come to CA though for a few days but Spain would be too far and on top of UK, too expensive. lovely idea though......

                I so agree with you re Docs always supporting each other no matter what and now I have calmed down a bit, I am probably not going to have it out with her - there is no point. I will ask her if I can go back on the celexa for two months and then have an EKG and providing my heart is okay, go from there. Re the topa - well, I will just have to try and talk to her about that and hope she goes along with it. Just have to be non-confrontational and hope she will be okay with it. If not, then go down in dosage and get it on-line.

                Hey Dizzy - lovely to hear from you - yes, we do understand that you are really busy right now, so no worries about not posting. Just when you can is good. My dad loved Gershwin and played his music on the piano a lot. He would have loved that!!

                You do sound as if you are enjoying yourself - I am so happy for you. I am pleased that things are working between you and b/f. Windsor is a nice area. It will be great when you and space can meet up......

                How is the drinking going - did the both of you stick to your committment to cut down this week? It is hard when you are both drinking together - at least hubs and i don't drink together because of our shifts so if we do decide to quit/cut down, it is easier for us.

                Hi there Space - how are things going for you? Seems a while since we heard from you - hope all is well with you..... :l

                Hi Houtx - how about you too? How are you doing?? Enjoy Dallas - I have never been to Texas!

                love and hugs to all,

                love, sun XX
                How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  DAMMIT!!!! Was doing all fine and good - pad of my hand hit something and whoosh!!! AGAIN!!

                  Too tired and frustrated now to recreate...maybe next time! UGH - pisses me off!!

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    I know its too long since I been here properly, just nothing to say and been drinking too much, not like getting drunk everyday but enough to make me feel like crap and not wanting to do anything else.

                    I eventually got my topa today, I think I have enough for around a months try out going by the schedule in the book but Im hoping not to have to go that high, Im still scared of the se's. So I just took 25mg at teatime as reccommended, so I will let you all know how I go daily from now on.

                    Play I would deffinatley be up for a Spanish meetup next year, but then I do only live up the road from the airpost and can be there in a few hours so its probably a lot easier for me. Having said that I hardly ever get there. but if I have somewhere to go then thats the biggest part of it. Comming to meet up in America is a totally different ball game tho I would love to be a money no object kind of person but the flights there are soo expensive.

                    Talking about expense I have lived in Liverpool all my life which is in North West England so I dont know much about the south but Dizzy I do know that your in probably one of the most costly areas down there, my god girl where do you do your shopping, do they even shop there or do they still all have staff to do it for them have you tried on line grocery shopping that should be cheaper, maybe?

                    Oh houxt, cant you meet a nice IT guy to sort this out for you?

                    Oh just before I go I did read in the book and on here I should take supps to help with the topa se's , I have got biotin as dizzy takes, and also zince and selenium. Is there anything else I should be taking. I aslo take vit b complex and other stuff.

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      spacebebe01;1352142 wrote:

                      Oh just before I go I did read in the book and on here I should take supps to help with the topa se's , I have got biotin as dizzy takes, and also zince and selenium. Is there anything else I should be taking. I aslo take vit b complex and other stuff.
                      At higher dose you might experience (nothing to worry-very common topa SE) tingling in your fingers & toes, eating banana (as a great source of potassium) daily helps to alleviate that somewhat weird but usually minor sensation...as I recall Dizzy recommended grape seed extract as well..

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Hey there Space - and Houtx - Houtx I have NO idea what you do when you try and post - I would love to be a fly on your wall!!! :H:H

                        Space - I didn't really have any SE's to worry about - apart, as Baclofan says - the tingling. I refused to read up about SE's in case it made me start to imagine them before I got them! But you have been around here for long enough that you have heard all about all of them - LOL. I had no problem with anything really. The tingling yes - but that to me was a good SE - to me it showed it was working......I don't often still get the tingling - now and then I might but not very often. And nowhere near as severe as I did at the beginning.

                        Not been in from work long - am doing a clopen so need to start getting ready for bed. Have to be up at 5.00 tomorrow.

                        love and hugs to everyone,

                        love, Sun XX
                        How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Hey y'all -
                          I too don;t know what I'm doing...except, like I say, the pad of my hand relaxes and hits some damn key and the screen goes in all directions. POsting late at night after having a few also factors into the equation! LOL

                          I'm hoping no news is good news from everyone. I'm doing ok here - drinking too much, as usual, not getting shit-faced drunk but certainly just too much, as usual. It's hard to put myself to bed when I don't have to get up the next morning. I peruse websites like Pinterest, Quibids & others, just hanging out semi-intoxicated...LOL I really want to lose 10 lbs this summer & was hoping I'd be there by now. I am not doing too well on that front per the above!! LOL

                          Going to New Orleans next weekend & of course, the eating & drinking is a given...UGH!! So maybe if I can lose a couple this week, I'll feel better gaining it back next week and then will try and go for the gold before school starts in late August. Hate not being able to fit into my clothes...I'm just busting out of stuff and refuse to buy much in the next size (10) when I should just lose 10 lbs.

                          BLAHBLAHBLAH...otherwise all else is well. Glad so with the rest of you, it seems! Keep posting :-))

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            Hi Im on day 3? of taking topa and cant say Ive notcied any difference yet, but I did get way too drunk the other night and yesterday felt like shit again so after spending the day sticking to lagers I took an antabuse this morning to try to get my head together before my sons birthday on saturday. I have just been drunk, and hungover way too much and not able to get anything done at all and its really been getting me down.

                            Right now I do feel like going and getting a drink but thats what I took the AB for so I couldnt because I was feeling like I was going out of control and about to go on a bender at any time, better to stop it before it started.

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              Hey there everyone

                              Space - I didn't notice any difference with the Topa until about week 6 - I know a lot of the others noticed it straight away - I didn't. Not trying to be negative or anything but everyone is different - just don't want you to get down if you think it isn't working - it works differently for everyone. I NEVER thought it was going to work for me and it still doesn't totally. It does to a certain degree but I have to go up to such a high level with it that the SE's at that high are not liveable with. so I stay at a lower dose and just use it as a crutch. Good for you taking an antabuse. That stuff scares me silly. I am not sure if it is the physical or the psychological thought of it.......... anyway - good for you.

                              Houtx - good to see a post from you - it has been pretty quiet here lately - I have a feeling that we are all going through our own stuff right now and just keeping quiet about it. I had to smile - from the way that you talk, anyone would think you were a size 50, and then you say that you refuse to buy the next size up 'TEN' - you are not big at all!!! I have to admit that I have been thinking about going out and giving in and buying the next size down - much as I hate to - I wasn't going to give in either - but am fed up with constantly hitching my trousers up. A belt can only do so much before you begin to look like a sack of potatoes with string tied round the middle.

                              WTE - I owe you an e-mail - sorry. I will get right on that!! I have been so bad this week getting on pretty much everything. Not sure if it is the heat or what it is - been feeling very flat - my docs appt is Tuesday and I am hoping she will put me back on the celexa. Even though it will be a lower dose than I would like, I will see if I can get back to being the me I like! If I can't go back on it - I am not sure if I can go higher on the lexapro. Not even sure if it would make a difference......

                              Anyway everyone else - hi to you - looking forward to seeing some posts -

                              I think I might go and take a nap before bedtime. Want to go to bed but it is really too early. So I think a nap is a good idea. LOL.

                              Hugs, Sun XX
                              How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                Hi Everyone!
                                I hope you dont mind my joining this thread..... I am yet another one of those that drinks wine, and various types of champagne. It becomes addicting, and though I have enough hard alcohol in the house to go on a huge bender, I never touch it. White wine and prosecco are my biggest "frienemies".
                                I have been lurking around here for almost a month, reading what others do and have sucess with. I ordered the supreme pack of vitamins and the book almost when I started, and around a week ago topa from an online supplier. I also went to a doctor around three weeks ago to get the topa and an AD, he refused the topa, and put me on Venlax.

                                I started on 75 mg of venlax per day for 2 weeks, and then he upped it to 150 a week ago. During the first two weeks, i was trying to taper down, with little sucess. One day i drank two glasses and the next 2 and a half or 3 bottles. Thats when i ordered the topa online........
                                About a week ago, I decided to not try to limit myself to the two glasses anymore, as it was having disastrous effects the next day. I decided to just drink slwer, and try to limit the quantity to just not getting too typsy. I have had success with this, and then I started the All One, and rest of the supplements in the supreme pack, just as RJ wrote in the book. That was three days ago. I am not sure what has truly helped me, but I am happy to say that for those three days, i have been able to control myself, even though I went out on the second night, which was my birthday! I feel a real difference since starting the supplements, but i guess it could also be the Venlax that has helped me. I finally am posting because I relate sooo well to WTE.
                                I first learned about MWO early on, in 2006. I even posted sometimes, but lost my account somehow. I was drinking around two bottles a day, sipping the whole day. I ordered everthing, the topa, the cds, pdf of the book. I was afraid to start the topa, and the vitamins well the all one is really scary to drink it. Almost neaseating, still is..... but my body needs it, as when I drink, i dont eat, or not very much. When drinking wine, and not eating, i can lose between 2 and four pounds a day!! I also have noticed that when i drink, I do get very depressed (though i am bi polar, and have alot of anxiety, and have used wine to self medicate since 2004). I never told my doctor about the alcohol, for the same reasons one cant in the US. You just cant. I am at the moment living in Europe, and have an apartment in Las Vegas, and travel back and forth, about 50-50. Were i to tell my doc here the reality, he would put me into a clinic for 3 months.......and everyone would know immediatly. So here I am, on MYO, thankful for another way......and also thankful for my small sucesses, mostly due to all of you! Thank you all of you! I think it just shows that there can be another way with so much love and support.

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