New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

That is wonderful Airam - at least you are getting some AF days in there - did you think that you would do that when you started this thread? Don't be mad with yourself - you are really doing so well.

Sassy - glad that you are feeling clearer headed in the mornings. I have no idea about the puffiness - maybe the way you are laying in bed? Just hang in there and the cravings will eventually subside - it just takes time.

Hugs, Sun xx

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

sunshinedaisies;970368 wrote: That is wonderful Airam - at least you are getting some AF days in there - did you think that you would do that when you started this thread? Don't be mad with yourself - you are really doing so well.

Sassy - glad that you are feeling clearer headed in the mornings. I have no idea about the puffiness - maybe the way you are laying in bed? Just hang in there and the cravings will eventually subside - it just takes time.

Hugs, Sun xx

You're right Sunny.

And yesterday, I didn't drink that much.
Only one vodka.
One month ago, if someone had told me I'd be drinking only one vodka at night, I'd have told them they were nuts.
It's just that I hate AL so much.
I want it out of my life!

Thank you.


Hugs to you and to all of you friends!

[hoping4better]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone,

This is a funny story that doesn't have much to do with topa or AL except that it was told to me by my psychiatrist who prescribes the topa.

Her grandmother has dementia and a few days ago the family was celebrating grandma's 85th birthday. After she opened all the gifts, she read her card, which apparently made mention of the the fact that she turned 85. "Well!" she exclaimed. "I'm a lot younger than I thought I was!"

Priceless.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

LOL Hoping. How are you doing?

hugs, Sun xx

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

hoping4better;970706 wrote: Hi everyone,

This is a funny story that doesn't have much to do with topa or AL except that it was told to me by my psychiatrist who prescribes the topa.

Her grandmother has dementia and a few days ago the family was celebrating grandma's 85th birthday. After she opened all the gifts, she read her card, which apparently made mention of the the fact that she turned 85. "Well!" she exclaimed. "I'm a lot younger than I thought I was!"

Priceless.

:H

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sometimes it feels like I am doing fine..other times it feels like I am going to have stroke any minute. I think I need to get some outside help. I am taking Topa and I think about it all the time, but mostly I feel I am alone in this. I know I know - you all are here, but I don't know. I can't explain it...

Yesterday was AF b/c Tuesday night when I posted several times so late...I was sooo out of it after "only a few" glasses of wine...but I was SOOOOOOOOOOOO overtired, grading papers, strung out with school, life, my kids, I was on the computer, off the computer...my daughter had been over...I am trying to piece together what happened but I "only had like 4-5" glasses of wine and went in & out of "wakefulness". Why the hell was I posting when I needed to get my work done, packed up and get to bed??

I actually thought I turned in at 12 so I don't know - that's still way too late for me. I do that too much. I've got 9 ft of papers to grade...don't wonder too much if any of your children's teachers are alkies. Chances are pretty good one of them is! LOL Obviously we function pretty well !!

Anyway - it's weird just having 1 AF day makes sooooooo much difference. Tonight I had a hair appt and got home late, am doing work, on here, and feel like sipping a glass or two. That's all. After a day AF I like how it makes me feel renewed...wish it would last. I am taking the wise words everyone offers and the fact this drug acts in mysterious ways. This will work if you work it?! I think yes - :-))

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx - they couldn't pay me enough to do your job! Way to go on one AF day - that is wonderful! I think that your job is so stressful. Yes, the Topa does work if you let it but it is still hard - especially in a stressful environment! Well done,

Hugs, sun xx

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

((HUGS)) Houtx

I understand when you say you feel alone in this. I feel that way too. The truth is that no one in (my) real life knows about this. No one, really no one, knows I'm taking topamax, no one knows how I feel about AL and how much I drink/drank(?). I really don't have anyone to talk about this but the people here. ((HUGS)) Houtx

I've been several days AF. It feels great, but at the same time I'm very nervous. I still feel the need of AL, I'm NOT feeling INDIFFERENT to AL yet and it's like I have to be on guard all the time.
But definetly it's better than before. At least I can do something now.

[mumtotwo]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just typed a long message only to lose it...

Houtx--- hang in there. You'll be OK, just keep telling yourself that and realize that it's mind over matter. I have done many AF days in the past due to determination and know I can do it again if only I can commit and not let others (and just life in general) get in my way. Just try cutting down for now since you are already on the Topa and go from there. Cutting down in general is much better progress than before, right? That's what I keep telling myself. I'm not perfect, but I'm making strides.

Airam--- GOOD for you on your AF days!!!! That is wonderful and it is a wonderful feeling. I also don't have anyone else to talk to about this. I talk to my husband some and he says he supports me, but when he's around and drinking he's just happy I'm not bitching at him about him traveling all the time while I am alone with 2 little ones. I think he prefers me drunk sometimes

We're in this together... and we'll get through it together!!

Sun, how are you?

I hope you don't mind me hanging on to this thread even though I haven't found the courage to make an appointment to ask my doctor for Topa yet... I feel like I know you all through your posts.

Mum xx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Mum (that still cracks me up!!!) please feel free to post on here if you use Topa or not - it is good to have you here!

I know how you feel re Hubs maybe liking it when you are drinking - I know mine prefers it when I do. I got in from work today and he said that he had got me some Guinness..... I am doing fine thanks. Just waiting for the Topa to kick in. I know it is still going to be a couple of weeks and part of me is glad, part of me not...I sort of struggle with that. But once it does, I will be SO PLEASED! I know the first time how long it took so am going on that.

Anyway, glad that you are with us.

airam - you are doing so well! ANY AF days are wonderful. Such an improvement on how things were. you are doing so well.

Hout - hope that you are feeling better. We can all do this, I just know we can. What dosage are you up to?

I have the whole weekend off which is amazing - have a couple of days vacation owing, and plan to spend it mainly in the garden! Talk this weekend people. take care.

hugs, Sun xxx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wow - this thread has been quiet - well, hope everyone is doing well and that is why it is so quiet! I go up today to 100 mg - 50 this morning and 50 this evening. will take it to work with me as I work 2-10 today, but have to be up for an 8.00 dental appt tomorrow morning so plan on taking it around 4.00 this afternoon. last night I tipped some Guinness away - just didn't want it so I think it might be starting to kick in at last - not totally there yet but for me to tip it out is a very good sign! Hopefully the beginning of the end.

How is everyone else doing? Post and let me know? Houtx, Hoping, 2Run, Airam, Mum, Sassy - what is happening with you all?

Hugs to you,

Sun xx

[hoping4better]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi sun and everyone,
Wow, this thread HAS been quiet! What's up with that? I'm just too tired to post! Every time I sit down I just want to shut my eyes. Haven't had an AF day yet -- not even necessarily going for that, just looking for the option if I so choose. I have drank much less, though and feel more in control.

Sun, what does tip mean? When you tip your Guinness? Do you still taste the carbonation? Last time I was on topa I didn't but this time I can feel the bubbles, though they are a little weaker. Beer tastes bad to me, though, and I usually enjoy it.

Hope everyone is ok!

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yes - way too quiet and that's not what we want! Not much up with me except after my downer post, I am doing much better! LOL I had an AF day last Wednesday and just TRYING to keep a grip!! UGH - it is soooooo hard. I could go on and on but it is 10:30 according to my clock and the other things going on, I am resolved to go to bed!! SHEESH!! I could stay up all night, reading and posting. LOL

So I am off to go to bed but I have had a GOOD week - numbers very low, an AF day and...on a personal note, a very nice man in the wings wanting to meet me!! WOO HOO!! Looking forward to that on Thursday. His profile and pics look very promising - he works here, lives "nearby" on a lake near Austin. I can do that...keep your fingers crossed for me, kids!! We shall see -

All else is well. Weather here is nothing short of perfect and makes you finally feel glad to be alive :-)) I am holding my own at 200 mgs. Went up to 250 for a couple of days, but think I am good at 200. We need to keep this thread going. So hope others chime in with whatever is going on!! Seriously. Let's hold hands and just do the kumbaya!! It's important XOXOXO

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there hoping and Houtx - good to see you both here. I have just got in from work. drove home thinking about having a drink when I got in but the thought of Guinness - yuck! I think Topa does something to things in aluminium cans! Oh hoping - when I tipped my Guinness - I was pouring it out. Tipping it away. LOL. Last time I stopped, the first thing that gave me an inkling something was going on, was that I started tipping out the Guinness - couldn't finish a can - it just didn't taste right and I just didn't want it! anyway I got home and poured a Kahlua and Milk (same route I went last time). i worried that if I just went to bed I wouldn't sleep! I remember those nights when I would try and be AF and just go to bed and NOT sleep, so now I try and go down - when I don't have the Guinness, still have something and eventually stop that too - so hopefully I am on the way.

Houtx - you are having the odd AF day too ? that is great!! When you don't have an AF day, are you having less? And the guy that you are meeting up with on Thursday - hope that goes well for you.

Hoping - it isn't so much the carbonation for me - I am not sure what it is exactly. Last time, I drank way less of my diet soda but this time that hasn't happened - the soda is still the same. And I also drink fizzy water in a can too, so it is affecting me differently this time. Are you still drinking beer or have you changed your drink? what are you up to now? I only took 25 this afternoon/evening as I forgot to take it early - remembered it at 7.30 and that is too late for me to take the 50 mg then have to get up early without being really sleepy.

Anyway, lovely to see a few of us here again - as Houtx said, lets keep this thread going! We need it!

hugs, Sun xx

[hoping4better]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi sun and houtx,
Whoa, houtx, AF, you go girl! And you thought you'd never get there! Plus a promising suitor to boot. You'll have to keep us in the Lo0p! (Hi Lo0p).

Sun, my poison of choice has always been wine. I like beer but don't drink it very often. So last night I "tipped," as you put it almost a whole glass of wine. Waste of money, it was a nice bottle (not that pricey, but still...) I poured it, took a sip, asked myself what the hell I was doing, then tipped it. I've often left half glasses but never poured a whole one down the drain. I guess that's progress?