New here and starting Topa and with a question

[ifulovelife2]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello everyone.

I don't normally venture into the Topa thread but I know my friend Space is having a hard time of it and I just wanted to offer her my support.

Sweety, I know you're having a rough time of it right now and you probably just want to curl up in bed with a bottle and a movie on your laptop, but use your laptop to reach out to your friends as well, OK?

We love you, Space.

M
X

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

:goodjob: I'm really proud of you for doing two nights alcohol free, that's brilliant. I'm also relieved that you've done Zoloft before because the nausea kind of drove me a bit batty and I didn't really like it but if it worked for you before it means it will again with a bit of patience.

Everyone's different but for most people Topa takes a little while to kick in and you have to be able to be in a position to 'listen' to 'hear' it talking to you. Like I said to Space whenever I have a huge amount of alcohol either in my system or I'm withdrawing from it, there is very little antidepressants or something like Topa can really do but I think you will see a difference soon.

Everyone else is a bit quiet today but I've found this thread invaluable in my first few weeks so please make yourself comfortable and tell us a little about yourself. I think you've probably learnt a little about us but if there's anything else you want to know, feel free to ask.

:l

[Alcoholic]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, Dizzy:

Your story about the 105 year old stock exchange person convinced me. I shall empty all my retirement savings, sell my house, spend all my earnings and savings now, that way the government can take care of me when I'm 65. Really, if I just quit working now, spend all my money, empty all my accounts today, I can retire NOW at age 40, since the government will have to support me. That's a savings of 104 - 40 = 64 years of work! That's like a life time of savings!

But that's just a dream, I gotta get ready to go to work now, I donno why since that logic I just spelled out earlier sounds so much better!

[Freckleface]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks Dizzy. I am definitely feeling withdraw symptoms. I've been getting headaches and feeling shaky. I hope I can keep up the AF nights. My family is going to Vegas for Thanksgiving and I know I will be tempted. I'm going to increase the Topa over the weekend to 50 mg. Hopefully that will take the edge of any cravings.

[Alcoholic]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space: hang in there, please post and I hope you and your son are getting along better...

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone - okay - home from work and feeling kind of tired and nauseated. so am not posting - going to go to bed. have to be up at 4.00 for work. will post tomorrow after work.

love and hugs XXXX

[Alcoholic]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh no, sun I hope you are not sick! Are you pregnant?

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Alcoholic " Oh no, sun I hope you are not sick! Are you pregnant?"

Oh I must laugh Ally I'm sure you know that Sun and I are way beyond that although since having grandchildren now I find myself wishing that I could do it over again and enjoy them more, I suppose that is what grandparents are for.

Sun, hope you are not sick, maybe just tired and getting up early, Or Are You Pregnant?

Love, play

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Winning, welcome here andi would think perhaps you ordered from River Pharmacy as they are out of Canada and also the pharmacy promoted on the MYO site. They are really great I think, I order my Topa from them and find them very friendly and professional, you might just try looking them up online and calling their contact number to find out if you ordered from them, they have really great customer service and you always are able to talk with a helpful person when you call them, give it a try, and also please stick around here, we would love to have you be part of our "gang" here, we have lots of friendly people who can be of help on your journey and lots of couches and easy chairs in our living room, in fact for some of us it is time to light a fire in the fireplace and get very cozy.

Love, play

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Bruun,

I so totally get what you are saying about avoiding the best times of our lives because of anxiety and I think at least for me I tend to isolate myself just more due to the drinking, it's difficult to venture out of my comfort zone which is being mostly by myself and letting AL rob me of my motivation and energy to have a life. Even work has become more difficult to than before, must be because I am a bit older and the AL is taking more of a toll on my body and mind.

Space, I'm wondering where you are, how you are and what you are dealing with today. Im sure it must be awful to have your family there to witness every setback that you have, it must make you feel even worse about yourself to have the binges where they are really aware of them, I so feel for you, but don't give up:h

Still remember that you are the one really mostly affected by this, your children are growing up and must see that you are struggling and doing your best at this time and they have to let you find your way, and they will be OK because you really are doing your best and making headway with this issue and you are getting there little by little.

Your children may not understand this now but the time will come that they will be adults and will have more understanding of the situation and will see how bravely that you are trying and they will love you for yourself.

So, No matter what your family's attitude, I feel that you must continue to be true to your beautiful spirit of desiring to change and grow into the amazing new person that you are becoming, this is your quest, not your family's.

So, I say Be Strong, assert your personal power, look to your goal, I for one have come to see you as a focused, determined and extremely motivated person:l and I have admired you ever since I started reading your personal thread.

So, see you in Spain!!!

Love play

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All!

I hope everyone is having a good Saturday … many of you in my thoughts today ….

Well, CAVALIA!!! WHOA! I can honestly say that I have NEVER seen such an incredible production in my entire life! It was BEYOND what I ever could have thought it would be. The entire evening was total bliss and funny and met great people and just did NOT want it to end!

We had bought the VIP tickets so arrived about an hour and a half before the show to an amazing buffet of really elegant foods. Oh, and open bar, *sigh* But I was pretty good and my GF was the designated driver so all good there. Amazing food and the tents just astounded me in how they were all set up – this looked like a fine dining restaurant complete with chandeliers! People with trays fo food besides the buffet … and it just went on and on.

We then were escorted to our seats in the “Big Top” which was actually much more intimate feeling that I would have thought. We were center stage in the seventh row! And it starts with music and a flute player and the lighting .. awwwww. And then two baby stallions arrive with freedom to walk this AMAZING stage set up.

It just went on from there and you were almost not sure WHERE to look/watch as SO MUCH was happening! Scene after scene and it just can’t even explain how it all was! That lasted for an hour and then we were escorted back to our “restaurant” with a full dessert bar and lounging for a half hour. Then another hour of the show ….

I am SOOO impressed with how many stallions they have trained to be together like that! There were 48 horses and if I remember correctly, only 20 something of them were gildings. No mares at all. And yet they ALL looked so pleased and proud and I’m not sure who I was more impressed with – they riders or the horses! BOTH! I think I fell in love with a few on the long haired young guys! LOL

After the show we were taken on a private tour of the stables. These beasts are BEYOND some of the most magnificent horses I have even seen! And so now that I have gone on and on about Cavalia – I will only say that IF you ever have a chance to see it – DO IT! It was worth every penny spent!

One down side – my damn toes! HA! I own a huge collection of boots and SO badly wanted to wear any of them! LOL But, I ended up stuck wearing open toed short heels because both of my big toes have monster bandages on them! How was THAT for crappy planning. HA! Oh well ….

OK .. I have waffled enough. (in Suns term – may need to add that to the Dictionary! HA!)

Oh, and NO reaction to the flu shots or any other shots. Guess that is good news!!

Meeting up with an old friend to have dinner and go see Flight movie tonight. =) He just calls out of the blue .... HA!

Hugs and Bless to all ….

WTE & Charlie

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there

I don't really have time to check in as BF and I are spending some time together. He is busy preparing some chestnuts and brisket to be roasted after we've been out boots shopping for me and playing Wii sports for a couple of hours.

Tuesday's my birthday so we're going into London tomorrow for a sightseeing tour and again on Tuesday to see the Lady in Black at the theatre - excited!

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you Freckleface and that you're doing very well. Don't titrate up too quickly, rather follow the schedule of the book, do you have the My Way Out Book? You can do this if you take it one day at a time, Topa can be a great tool, as well as some of the other supplements we use like All One, Kudzu and L-Glutamine.

Hope you are feeling better Sun and Space and glad you enjoyed the show WTE. Have you heard of Space, Play?

Got to run unfortunately but will check back in soon.

:l:l:l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone - sorry I haven't posted. Just got in from work.

first of all - welcome to Freckleface - I hope that you were on the 25mg for a week - you need to tirate up at the recommnded rate - that is really important with Topa. Faster is not better. I am so impressed with you being AF though - I waited until the Topa kicked in - which wasn't until a MUCH higher dose ! good for you !! Hope the sick kids get better soon - that is enough to drive you to drink1 Please keep posting - we love having a new face........

Winning - when you ordered the Topa - didn't they e-mail you a reply to having got your order? Didn't that tell you who they were? how long ago was it?

Ally - Himself told me about the stocks - but the way I look at it is that we don't need the money yet and when we do they will have shot up again - LOL. SOMETHING will happen anyway and the money will magically be there....... I have faith - :H

Space - I am worried about you - nice of you to check in on her Ifyoulovelife - she is very special to us too and we all worry about her. Space, I have Pm'd you and you still haven't answered me - please do........ I am working crazy hours right now and am not around to skype but am off on Monday - I hope I can catch you then some time during the day?

Hi Bruun - good as always to see you here too...... I miss it when you don't pop in and post......:l

Dizzy - thanks for giving us an update on your goings on. I think you will have a WONDERFUL time at home and probably are looking forward to the time on your own. Good for you sticking to the three lagers a night. that is what I am aiming for (well, not lagers but you know what I mean). I actually had three Guinness last night so am getting there. As for the happy meds kicking in - I am not sure - will catch you up on me at the end of my post.

Ally - I laughed at your calculations of the government supporting you if you sold everything now - nice plan. HOWEVER, the slight glitch in that - have you SEEN government housing ??????? ROTFLMBO !!!!! I suppose I shouldn't really post that and might have some people up in arms against me so be prepared for a deletion.

Playland - we really are going to miss you until you get settled and sorted in spain - I miss you already - LOL. I know you will be busy and have to get over your jet lag and stuff. But hope your flight went well and you arrived safely...:l

WTE - you are MIA. Yes, I know I told you I wouldn't bug you. I lied. I want to hear how Cavalia was - it looked amazing. And how Charlie is and how you are.

Okay - now to me. NO, I am not pregnant - go and wash your mouths out with soap all of you. :H EVEN if it was possible - which it isn't, I would sooner poke pins in my eyes!! Seriously, I have been nauseated for about 5 days - just a rolling type nausea which doesn't go away. I eat something and it might or might not stop - I don't eat and it might or might not stop. I had this two years ago - and it lasted for 5-6 weeks. i didn't go to the doc 'cos I kept thinking it would go away plus the fact you all know how wonderful my doctor is. Finally two years ago, I DID call the doctor and couldn't get an appt, but they called in some anti-nausea tabs until I could get in - and the nausea stopped - even before I took ONE tab !! I did take one this morning and it helped slightly. I feel lousy - last time I lost weight which I do NOT need to do. I will not wait 5-6 weeks this time and will see how it goes. Same time of year too - someone at work said it is stress but I don't feel stressed AT ALL.

If any of you have any ideas at all, PLEASE PM me. I cannot bear the thought of this for the next 4-5 weeks. It is miserable. The odd thing was, it going away totally on it's own - the doc said it must have been a virus of some sort.

Anyway - I have waffled on enough as usual - going to get going,

love and hugs to all,

love, Sun XXXX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey all -
Good to catch up on everyone's posts, altho too numerous to comment on. Sun, you seem to work too hard! Diz - I am so glad you are still happy and busy with your new life in the UK. WTE, the show sounded awesome!! Glad you're having some fun. Play, Space, the rest - always good to hear and catch up.

I am doing fine. Wish better, but ok. I had a Health Screening last week and my blood pressure was way up, and something else...glucose, I think...all alcohol related, I know. I'm feeling TOPA dopa without even being on it!! At school talking to my classes, I'm finding a profound loss for words, unable to complete a sentence without pausing, it's been happening in the last 6 months or so, and I am worried about myself. I wonder if I am capable of ever being in a relationship b/c I just want to come home after working out and get on the computer and drink wine. I dunno - worried about myself long term.

I had plans with a guy friend/ FB (mostly a fuck buddy historically) who has been in the background of my life for years, to go see To Kill a Mockingbird on the big screen Thursday. 50th anniversary, we made plans, I bought tickets online. Told him I would follow up the day before or morning of. Night before & morning of I texted him...didn't hear shit until 2 hrs before showtime he texted me "Sorry - can't make it. Have a work reception at XXX I am required to attend". The fucker works for himself!!!

I was soooooooooo pissed, but then not really, I was expecting it. He has a history of standing me up. Disappointed but fine, I went to the movie anyway, had a great time with my bad self. Bought popcorn & drank smuggled in wine. I played golf today with my girlfriend, it was the perfect day, we were paired with 2 very nice men...Life is good except for the fact I am living it 1/2 the time under the influence.

Hate feeling guilty and remorseful about stuff...just waking up the next day groggy & red-eyed. The wet, watery, red eyes are my nemesis!!! Some days better than others, but for the most part, my alcoholism is a constant in my eyeballs. UGH -

Onward & upward, one day at a time. Good to come here, read, worry & vent about the same stuff. Thanks, y'all. Hang in & take care :-))

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Okay - please excuse me if I vent here - NOTHING to do with AL. EIGHT HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS !!!!!!! I woke up to a gurgling sound. The loo and bathtub were filling with water. Long story short - our sump pump was backing up - there was a blockage somewhere. It is Sunday. It was backing up into the loo and the tub. Gurgling and it went back down. gurgle and it came back up. Gurgle and it went back down. Never overflowing but....... so we called the plumber. $825.00 later the problem is fixed. $330 an hour !!!!!!!!!!! It would have been cheaper to go to Home depot and buy a porta potty and wait until Monday OR check into a hotel for the night ! EIGHT HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS !!!!!!!!!!!! I am in a state of shock.....

I just can't believe they can charge that much - wonder what the techs get paid? I find it laughable that amount per hour. That must be so much more than they get paid - I too worked today!!!!!!!!! LOL. Did I earn $330 an hour ????? I wish !!!!! A week is more like..... sorry - I HAD to vent.......... I am just SO upset!!!!!!

Am on my third Guinness and will try so hard not to get a fourth......I have been really good but this has so blown me for a loop. I know the booze doesn't help, but I keep thinking about the credit card darn it.

And Space - I am so worried about you - you are not helping by not posting. Where are you? I am off tomorrow - please Skype me? I will keep an eye on Skype and see if you are there - Skype me and if I see that you have called I will Skype you back. PLEASE.

Houtx - good to see you. Laughed at you smuggling in wine to the movies !! You bad girl you !! So sorry your friend didn't show. Why are you feeling Topa Dopa without being on it? Aren't you my age? (not saying what that is but I think you are). Don't know why I am asking you 'cos you take so long to post that you never answer questions anyway.

WTE - It seemed that I somehow missed your post when I was posting - now there is a surprise. we always seem to post around the same time, yet I caught the post after yours, so I have no idea what happened there!

Cavalia sounded AWESOME. I wish it would come my way -but there is more chance of pigs flying than that happening. Maybe we can watch out for when they are your way again and try and co-incide a visit for then? I would LOVE to see them - it really sounds amazing.

Hope that you enjoyed the Flight Movie - did you go with who I thought you went with?

I am calmed down a bit........

Please post other people - with Play gone, and Space not posting and WTE really busy that sort of doesn't leave many others........

Love and hugs, Sun XXXXX