New here and starting Topa and with a question

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good touts to sun, I too think her blood sugar might be low, good thinking Dizz. Gotta go, I'm getting late for work, see you guys later and love you very much and thank you.
Play

[teezah]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Loads and loads going on this week – wow! I’ve had a horrible flu bug since last Thursday and haven’t been able to do much of anything at all. It started off fairly benign then I did too much at the weekend and ended up in bed by Sunday afternoon. Unfortunately DH is away on shift until this Thursday coming so it’s made it extra hard trying to keep on top of everything. Well – tbh I haven’t kept on top of anything except meds, feeds & care. Then disabled d came down with similar (thankfully nothing as bad – we spend a lot of time in hospital with her) on Monday so she’s been off school. I was supposed to take her into respite today so I’d at least have a couple of nights sleep and not have to do any care and lo and behold we have another dump of snow. I’m not confident taking her out in the van in bad weather so we’re stuck! So I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself.

I am however still AF – since 2/2/13, and really chuffed with the whole Topa thing. I’ve stuck at the 75mg and haven’t had any real cravings at all. Just a bit of nostalgia on a Friday and Saturday night.

[Alcoholic]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, everyone!
I'm not posting much but I am reading how things are going w everyone. Actually I wrote a long post about the stress of having my dad here w me but it disappeared again. It's been hectic. He's paranoid and has a horrible temper. I'm stressed out and drinking more frequently- 1-2 drinks at night when we fight. I'm going to convince him to go on Zoloft for his temper. 76 year old man, he's not going to change

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good job Play and Sun!!! And Space! (Maybe that's a little too emphatic, what with the exclamation points and all, but just want you to know I'm following and cheering for you.)

You'll figure out what to do with the weekend when it gets here, but just getting a routine down is the hard part, ya' know? Once you're AF for a bit things start getting better--but then, at least in my experience, it just takes one night of drinking to turn everything upside down, and then it's two or three days at least of drinking. And yeah, I'm speaking of recent experience. An ex called the other night around midnight, told me a whole bunch of stuff I didn't want to know, and then I was drinking until like 6 o'clock in the freaking morning. Grrr. Of course that led to a bunch of withdrawal anxiety, right in the afternoon when I was trying to meet with students, and I ran straight to the bar after, then drunkenly went and got a pizza, and carried that pizza into and around the liquor store, picking up vodka and orange juice with a slice of pizza hanging out of my mouth... And we're talking about such crappy fast-food chain pizza that--I kid you not--a homeless person wouldn't even take when I offered it to him. Then today I have to teach in a few hours, and my boss is observing, etc.

Fun times! So I hope ya'll are doing well, and you'll figure it all out.

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Day Three!

It was a very good day here, slight "yearnings" at times mostly just since arriving home from work.

The minute I walked thru the door I was thinking, Dizz, of what you said to Space about having a good breakfast, so this evening I came in and right away had a cup of hot tea, a big glass of bubbly water and a small dinner while I was also making a pot of soup for the week.

I must say I haven't done things like this in so so long, mostly just came home and got in bed and ate my way thru the evening. I still have lots of energy today, big change. This morning when I weighed, you won't believe this!!! I have lost 2 1/2 pounds since the weekend and also noticed that I was hungry all day but I for the first time had made a bag of goodies to take for the day, an apple, a banana , raisins and walnuts, an energy bar, some good crackers, and munched thru the day.

So far things are a miracle, why didn't I listen to you sooner DIZZ:h and, by the way, I love you idea of the money saved an AL being spent on little luxuries for ourselves, I'm going to do just that, and it is a considerable amount that I spend on AL every month.

This seems easier than Topa or any regular meds mostly because there are no noticeable SE and I also have some days to look forward to of being a regular person. I think the challenge might come to need to motivate to actually keep taking the pill on every Monday, but we have our friends here to help us along. I you hear any talk of me or sun slipping please, please give us a kick in the butt and remind us of our goal:thanks:

Tomorrow I'm going to start posting on one of my topics and about what you guys are going thru day to day.

Ally, your dad is actually quite young, do you think he will actually stay with you long term? Or is it kind of just a readjustment period for him until he is able to kind of start life over again, it is an interesting situation especially with his bad temper, I wonder if you could really deal with him long term, keep updating us.

Dizz, I'm sorry, I didn't realize quite what a bad time you have been going thru, let me know how I can help, I'll be emailing you also.

Space, we just have to figure something out to help you feel better, like Dizz said you need to be able to be a functional person as well as not drinking. I you can't come to Spain next time I am there I will come see you instead, I also want to meet Dizz when I am there.

Stuck, I'm feeling concerned about you after your last post. It sounds as if perhaps the drinking is on the way up now and is making you rather miserable with the drunken behavior you are now putting up with:upset:

oh, I know how awful and discouraging it feels when you know it is happening again. I still wouldn't want you to go back on the BAC, I don't think the SE would be tolerable to you in the end. I remember what you said about not taking AB but how about just thinking on it a bit more, after all it would give you some alcohol free days and some freedom in between to not feel like you are missing out on your happy friend for the rest of your life, anyway just think about it, us three could do it together, but actually Dizz is doing it too and has been for quite some time, and who knows perhaps some others will join also.

Well, I'm sleepy and will see you all tomorrow.

Peace

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all its good to see plenty of posts when I look of a morning, it really helps me a lot, so thanks everyone.

Sun and Play its great to hear how you are both doing each day with your new regime, you are both doing so well, its great tht you are also making lifestyle changes so early Play that will really make a difference to how you feel. I am wondering as well whether changes to your diet Sun will help you feel more energetic, I think Dizzy has a point there, for me also I am going to start looking into what I can change and I think the forcing myself to have good breakfast each day for a week is a great idea. Should we both snack on fruit of a day? maybe we can try this together if you want Sun.

Strangely I havent noticed any difference in money since I stopped drinking, I cant work it out as drinking did cost me a fair bit but I must have just been spending it on more food and other stuff instead for the family without noticing. However I do know I would notice a lot of difference if I stopped smoking, I could really do with someone to do that with.

Stuck you do seem low right now, is there anything I can do to help? Have you any thoughts on what you want to do yet? It must be awful having to gointo work after drinking all night I know you are a young man so can maybe your body can take it for a while but you must still feel like crap with it. If there is anything I can do or say to help please let me know.

That also goes for anyone else here, Dizzy I can understand that you dont want to post when things arnt going well, neither do I really, I cant be bothered but typing and letting us know may help, Im not good at insight and giving ideas but there are others who are, you are one of them and often someone else can see things differently from the outside. How long is it until you plan to come back to the UK.

Whats the plan with your dad Ally, he does seem young to have moved in with you and it isnt nice for you to have to put up with his temper tantrums.

I hope you start feeling better soon Teezah, its hard when you are ill and still have tolook after someone else who is sick, will you be able to get out to respite with her today?

Nothing really to say about me, as not much has changed or happened apart from my son buying the car, it is lovely but makes me nervous as you never really know what may go wrong with a "new" second hand car and why the last owners are really selling it, but so far it seems good. So now I am in a load of debt to him, but I hope to be able to get out more now and also take us on days out which will do us all good.

xx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - a quick fly-by as I need to leave for work. Sorry I didn't post yesterday evening. teezah - hope you feel better soon - how awful that you both got it - and then had snow on top of it !! feel better soon....... and probably best that you didn't drive in the snow anyway!!

Hugs, :l, Sun XXX

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi folks. Sorry to worry ya'll. I guess I'm just about on a proper bender again, so there's that. Woke yesterday and found the leftover vodka/OJ from the "night" before out in the living room, and finished that off, and made up a little bit more before going in to teach. Class went pretty well... Then went for drinks with a friend after, and had a decent time, and then went to the bar by my place after and got fairly drunk. At which point I went home, sat around, passed out, missed a call from my ex, which I returned at about 3 am, and talked with her for a few minutes, then passed out again. And now it's the middle of the afternoon, I didn't go to school, and I'm drinking a little bit again already.

So, yeah, I'd say this is going on a bender, and ultimately intolerable, unfortunately. I wish I could just not care, you know? And just stay drunk. Fuck it. But I'm no fun to be around, and feeling too crappy to even go to the bar right now, which is what I was planning on doing today--I'm skipping school, and was going to go down and do some day drinking and maybe work a little bit, or at least write this letter of recommendation that I told this kid I'd write for him, and have been putting off. But I can't even get myself up and in the shower, much less leave the apartment. So that's not cool.

Anyway, the plan. Yes, there's a plan. Drink a beer. Check. Take 10mg of bac. Check. Order a refill of the bac prescription online, shipped right to my door. Check. Use the long weekend to sort myself out, hopefully. I figure if I get back up to just 30mg/day or so, that should be enough to temper the cravings without turning me into a zombie. And more than that, it'll be a routine that reminds me that I'm trying to not drink. And if I fall off the wagon, it'll be enough to sort of deal with the withdrawal anxiety (for the benefit of those who don't know too much about bac: it's been shown to be almost as effective as valium for AL withdrawal). So that's the plan.

It may be a pretty shitty plan, but it beats drinking all the vodka in my apartment (and Christ, why vodka!? Why didn't I at least buy whiskey, which I would enjoy?), and it beats putting my gun in my mouth. So there is at least a plan. And aside from that, I'll probably continue to post, since it's like reaching out and not feeling alone, even as I isolate myself and stay in my apartment by myself with my cats. Boy, sure not going to ever get laid this way :upset:

[EDIT: Oh, and groceries! I totally need to order groceries today. (I use an online delivery service, btw, because I don't drive, and it's super convenient. But every time I seem to want to add a whole bunch of liquor to my order, for some reason... Can't seem to figure out why I do that... )

[teezah]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Stuck...what can I say?!

Sounds like things have got pretty desperate...and that's an understatement. I'm glad you have a plan, of sorts, but really think you need some more expert opinion and advise on the situation and urgently. Would you post outwith this topa thread so you can get more info from folks with baclofen advise?

I'm feeling like no help here...but I'm here xxxx :l

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thank you, Teez. You're a sweetheart. Things are looking up already today, but that's just because I've had a bit more to drink. You know how that goes, I'm sure. But don't worry about me and bac--I've got quite a history with all that, which I'm sure you don't care to read, but you could, if you wanted, on my thread that's I think on like page 2 by now...

Yep, found it. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...bac-63480.html

Just not sure why I'm having a better time posting here with all of you lovely ladies instead of on my own thread. Maybe because there's a whole lot more activity here, and I can flirt with you all. Mostly unsuccessfully, sure, but hey that's the story of my life .

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Stuck - I am so sorry....... if I was closer I would give you a hug, but seeing as I am not you will have to have a virtual hug instead :l At least you have some Bac coming and you sound as if you have a plan. Have you ever considered taking antabuse? I never had until Dizzy suggested her 5/7 thing. I have to admit, I miss my Guinness but have not had any real what I would call cravings........ I am glad that you are here with us anyway

Teezah - I agree with stuck - you are a sweetheart ! How are you feeling now? And how is your daughter? Has your snow gone yet? I used to hate driving in UK in snow 'cos the roads were always terrible - where I live they clear them really well, and even when they don't, generally the day after snow, the sun is out and where the snow is packed down it gets cleared by cars and dries. I don't mind it over here much at all.

Hi Space - gosh, I have already noticed that I am not spending as much money - Guinness is not the cheapest of drinks ! Plus I don't have to stop off anywhere so don't buy anything else either - double savings !

As far as changing my diet Space - I eat very well for the most part. I have been having my mucky drink and as I have not been drinking have been having a proper meal when i get home from work. I take a wholemeal sandwich most days for lunch or have an apple and peanut butter and a peanut butter Kind bar (yum). I don't eat junk - I don't really like it. I have one soda a day in the mornings after my cup of tea and I drink a lot of water. Sometimes I take a banana too. I am up for eating fruit with you if you want to - the breakfast I can't do - I have my morning cup of tea then my orange soda and then my mucky drink for elevensies. as for the smoking. i am a work in progress on that right now. I am halfway through the Carr book and haven't picked it up since starting the Ant. I think right now, one thing at a time although I have noticed I am smoking a lot less now I am not drinking !

Space I wish you would post when you are feeling down - that is the time you really need to post - but I do understand - and dizzy the same goes for you too. BUT we have all been there - I know i tend to post less when I am down. I think we just want to crawl into our hole and stay there. SO happy that you got the car! What are you doing with the one with the jammed brakes?

Play - that is wonderful about your weight loss. I actually had some ice cream which i don't usually eat - I haven't weighed myself but my clothes are about the same, but I am so happy that you are losing - that must make you very happy !! Oh - I have just re-read your post and saw that you too asked stuck about the AB. Oh and I do agree about needing the motivation to take the darn pill on the Monday - one of the other threads use TTDP or TTFP in place of it - as in "yes, I TTDP". or I TTFP. So, yes you must all keep us on our toes !!!

Ally - I am so sorry you are having such problems with your dad. how sad for you. Does he know how he is being? Was he always like this or has it been since your mum died? I think Zoloft might be an idea for him - how has he reacted to the idea? And how is he being paranoid?

Oh gosh, I have to go - sorry for rushing off - maybe back later,

hugs, Sun XXXX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

i have enjoyed reading all your posts. I am so afraid of the AB but admire those that can use it and get healthy. I need a plan but not ready. I will continue to read all your posts and will learn from you all

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Meggie - I used to feel the same as you about antabuse - I really really did !! But it isn't as scary as I thought it would be. I just can't drink - and I don't wear my perfume or eat Branston Pickle !!

anyway - sorry about rushing off mid post - my eldest called who is 19 weeks pregnant and had an ultrasound today and had some slightly off results. Nothing awful but just not your ordinary run of the mill ultrasound so I needed to chat. Anyway I am sure things will be fine. The docs would have sent her for further testing if it wasn't.

Anyway, I need to start getting ready for bed. Hugs to all,

sun XXX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, probably a short check in today and I'm reporting that things are going really well. I'm rather confused though, I'm wondering why Im not drinking so easily now, but couldn't do that before I took the AB. There is really not a bit of difference except that I took that one little pill. I basically have only a slight craving occasionally, why were the cravings five million times worse than now? It must mean that our minds have a really remarkable ability to change the way we see and feel things due to just what we believe, it seems a bit like hypnosis. I don't think I expressed that very well but it's just wierd that this has been so simple but not before:nutso: but well, it's working.

Also, I have been eating beets soaked in apple cider vinegar, which I love, with no ill effects, don't know about any other danger but I've been fine so far.

Teezah, is the mod alert something you buy at the supplement store? I gather that it is not an RX.

Hi Hippy, I'm happy you have started posting some here and the same goes for you too Stuck, we need some Yang energy:H

Hey Sun, could you please share how to make that cranberry bliss bar, thanks.

HOUTX, I have finally figured out why your posts disappear, I recently had it happen again and it dawned on me why and it is a simple reason but too complicated to write down. Maybe we can talk via phone and I can explain it to you, and anyone else who keeps having it happen, just PM me if you want to have a call about it.

Hey friends, getting sleepy, and I've been sleeping well the last few nights, actually sleeping rather than passing out, it's great, a nice feeling.

Bye for now, see you in the morning.

Love and Peace

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Play I think it's like the interior argument of "should I?" or "can I?" is gone. People are capable of adapting to new circumstances after 72 hours--3 days. No matter what it is. If you're a prisoner of war in North Vietnam, you'll get used to it after the first three days. So you pop an AB and you just know you cannot take a drink, and your brain is getting used to that idea.

You keep that shit up, sweetheart. You're a freaking rockstar, and I'm really enjoying watching you from the sidelines here.

[EDIT: Hi Meggie! Don't worry about lurking or not wanting to pop an AB. There's no freaking way on this green earth that I could ever do that. We each just always have our own ways, you know? And there might come a day when you just say you've had enough. For that one day. And the next day, waking up feeling worse than any hangover, believe me, you might still say that for that one day you don't want to drink. And after five or six days, you wake up feeling pretty good, and you look in the mirror and your eyes are starting to get nice and white, and you say to yourself you know what, I want to be sober today.

And that's it. There's no secret to it. It's simply a decision that you make, every moment of every day.

:l