New here and starting Topa and with a question

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sassy .. With ALL due respect . and I MEAN THAT!

I think we all would like to believe that our heath professionals are there to help us, be our guides and stand up for us, sadly, in the grand USA, that is not reality in many a case.

I'm not headed on a witch hunt here, and each person should do what they feel is correct for them, but this forum, the TSM site and others on the Internet all over the World as well are filled with stories of people that have "confessed" to AL abused - only to have it rear it's ugly head later on with insurance issues.

I am in California. I have a very dear friend who is a woman of 53 years old. At 50 she discussed "over drinking" with her DR. She had a medical plan with a large company she worked for, for many year in a high paying position. They suggested counseling and Antibuse - both of which she agreed to. (Didn't work - but that is beside the point)

Two years later, with down-sizing, she was laid off. Forced to onto Cobra but unable to find a job after that ran out? Guess what showed up in her records? I am 3 years older than her and she pays almost 3 times the amount for personal insurance than I do. And I pay $298 a month. A life insurance policy cost her almost 5 times what it cost me - and she drinks LESS than me.

Sassy - I WANT to believe like you do. But I have been proven wrong. You CAN NOT be honest with your DR about this addiction unless somehow you are 100% CERTAIN you with be covered FOREVER by some government or employment policy. I dare to say that most of us are not in that situation.

Keep it off your records. Do your homework. Know about "migraines" . Perhaps trust in companies such as River? Hell - I don't have the answer but I am NOT giving up my "files" to the DRs to hold me hostage for the next 10-15 years!

Stepping off soap box ... sorry .. I just think it's important to know. Read at TSM and how many regrets ever getting a DR involved and how they can't get life insurance now ...


My Pocket Change - I think I have some Euros left over =)

[Dreams2thrive]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sassy I know what you are trying to say. Sobriety is the most important issue. We should be able to go to our doctors for help because our health, our sobriety, is our #1 priority.
However, I am afraid going to my doctor was the best AND the worst decision I have made in my life.

On one side of the coin, I think Topamax is a miracle. A lifesaver and I am soooooo glad I got it. But, I got to see a copy of the "official" records sent to the insurance company and my doctor chronicled our entire conversation and at the bottom for diagnosis it says "chronic alcoholism". That's it - I am labeled for life. These notes have been sent to the insurance company and probably scanned into a system somewhere. I know MIB has the info and every insurance company checks MIB. I am lucky I have group health insurance at work, and if at some time I lose it I am in serious trouble.

I'm not suggesting taking meds without consulting a doc is a wise choice either. I just wish some things could be kept off the record. I know I got burned.

[Dreams2thrive]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

On a happier note, I remained AF again today.
How is everyone else doing? Thanks again for all of your support, wisdom, and laughter.

I bumped up to 50mg today. As far as SE's go, I am feeling a little foggy headed and have a strange taste in my mouth. Maybe thirsty? I get the whole "feel like I have a headache without the headache" thing. Searching for words, which is not good in the business I am in. Oh well it's worth it.

I have been taking AllOne. I feel really tired but still have energy. It's weird, I guess the way to describe it is a lack of motivation. I need to get exercising but I just don't feel like it. Blah....

Good night everyone.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, I have just got in from work, have poured myself a Kahlua and milk and read through all these last posts since this morning and decided to put my tuppence worth in. I think the whole system stinks! I am lucky in that first of all my children are grown and out of the house so don't need to worry about life insurance for them, secondly, hubs is retired military and so we have really good insurance so don't have to worry about what is on our records (I don't think) as when i am older I go to medicare or something but (I think) still have access to military health. We were given the option a couple of years ago to up my life insurance for Hubs without a physical (I had breast cancer a few years ago so premiums anywhere would go way up) and I said he didn't need any more anyway - he is the main breadwinner - if I die, he has enough. LOL. However, on a more serious note, for those of you that can't disclose the AL issue and now I understand why not, I think the only option is to get the Topa on-line. I really see no other way. Anne (thank you SO much for understanding!!!!), I agree - go the migraine route - and if the doc won't go for it, then get the Topa on-line. I have no idea what the dosage is for migraines but whatever it is try and get it then go from there. It isn't worth jeopardising your and your families future. For what it is worth - and sorry for the waffling - although I do do that rather well even if I do say so myself, but that is my opinion!

Dreams - the funny taste in the mouth is a common SE - did you not have that before? are you drinking soda from a can? that is why I can't drink Guinness any more - although I do drink soda now - just don't drink Guinness. go you on another AF day - that is SO great to hear. I quite envy you in a funny way! I need to start the all one again - I felt good taking it and have stopped.

WTE - I feel for your friend! That must be so hard for her - Cobra is expensive to begin with - and that she is still drinking - she must feel gutted. And I don't think you were on a soap box - you were just giving us your feelings and experience of it - we all need to know these things - they are important - I had no idea how it worked.

Sassy - I had to laugh - you gave your 2 cents - I gave my tuppence worth - the difference between two countries!

Hoping - if you pay in cash and don't use insurance - can they still trace it??

July - the flat feeling was my biggest problem too - but as my doc said - it WAS NOT the Topa! It was life without AL! So maybe this time, if you feel the same, we can put our heads together and try and work it out????

Illuminae - hope that you did indeed have a slip and find that your Topa had arrived!

houtx - Clare, hope you are both doing just fine. I need to get to bed. day off tomorrow. got someone coming to do all those little odds and ends jobs that mount up round the house.

Talk later - hugs to all,

Love, Sun xx

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Morning All!

OK ? Trying to catch back up again with everyone besides the insurance topic. HA!

Airam ? That?s funny that your SO lied about his age online too! Just cracks me up! I actually met a really neat guys about 2 years ago that floored me on our first date when he confessed to being 60 instead of 55 as his profile said. I really didn?t mind the fib because he came clean on our first dinner date and he really DID look 55 and is very active and still snow skies, etc. Great guy, but not for me. His nick name is D2 (Houtx will know this HA!) so I cracked up when someone here typed a nick similar to that.

More AF days will come ? hang in there. Sounds like you have really cut back. I ?held? at a dosage for awhile if I was feeling SEs rather than move up too fast. Not sure what the others think ? but it worked for me. I also get really tired on Topa.

Dream ? Welcome!!! And welcome to the damn wine club! HA! Like you, I am a couple bottles a day drinker ? or should say I was. Getting better and just re-started again myself. You sound like you are on a fantastic roll! It really seems that starting ?too high? makes this stuff not really work ? you are another case were that may have been the situation. Hummm? So happy you are here to share your journey. And I see we are both in So Cal! And CONGRATS on your AF Day!!!! WHOO HOO!!!

Claremont ? Houtx is the Queen of lost posts! HA! I always type in word and paste it here as I always seems to be doing 3 things at once and the phone is ringing and sometimes I am typing this for and hour or so ? And had to laugh at your ?millionaire? online guy. LOL Ohhh the stories they can come up with.

You sound like you are making some real progress on Topa! Hope to be right behind you again soon.

Hey Sunshine! Thanks for the words on my ?re-start?. Just wasn?t quite sure whatto do when I knew I had messed up. Gezzzz. I did start again yesterday. Here?s to hoping that it ?kicks butt? again as fast as it did a few weeks ago! I am SOOOO ready for this to happen again!

Illum ? WOW! You are rocking without Topa yet? Fantastic! I really think it IS much like quitting smoking 0 in that much is the mindset as well and you really have to want it. And it?s so wonderful that you are helping others in such a nasty struggle ? so happy we are here for each other ?

As for noticing how others around us drink once we have slowed down a bit ? yep, big time! I?m still drinking 5-8 glasses of wine a day/night, but that is about half of what I used to drink? UGH. And still, I watch others around me and already have been canceling plans with ?friends? since my return thinking ?I just don?t want to be around that right now?. Very odd.

Hey ? Just saw you are in SD too! I also order from River and have never had an issue. But it can take a bit. I normally get a phone call from River on the day it arrives at the post office reminding me I can pick it up ? it requires someone to be home to sign for it and I am usually at work.

Mum ? Hello! I am also a ?Mediterranean Drinker? in other words ? start often in the afternoons and just continue through until bedtime. No little ones ? but I can sure find excuses! HA! Never drunk but just maintain a wine buzz all day and evening. Terrible ? so I can relate.

I?m sure you?ve read the previous posts about DR or no DR involvement ? and will need to make your own choices. One of us should do some research and find out what IS the proper dosage used for ?migraines? and would that be a viable story to use?

FROM THE WEB / A SITE ON MIGRAINES:

IHere are his recommendations for safely tapering up to a therapeutic dosage level:
? Week 1: 15 mg - -25 mg at bedtime />? Week 2: 25 mg, twice a day
? Week 3: 25 mg day dose, 50 mg bedtime dose
? Week 4: 50 mg, twice a day
? Weeks 5 - 7: maintain 50 mg, twice a day. If that isn't working progress through weeks 8 - 11 if necessary
? Week 8: 50 mg day dose, 75 mg bedtime dose
? Week 9: 75 mg, twice a day
? Week 10: 75 mg day dose, 100 mg bedtime dose
? Week 11: 100 mg twice a day
? Weeks 12 - 18. Maintain 100 mg twice a day.
? If 100 mg twice a day doesn't give the desired results, he recommends tapering down and off Topamax rather than going to a higher dosage because the clinical trials are showing that there is no benefit to going higher.OK this is interesting, Recommended for migraines. =)

Not THAT far off. At least it could be a start?

Hey July! Yep ? Got all my rest and almost feeling back to normal. Good grief ? can I sleep on Topa! HA! Hope you cold is getting better and your Topa arrives soon. Hang in there ? you sound like you have the resolve to make this happen!

Hi Hoping ? How are things? Better? Know you were feeling a bit discouraged there for a touch ? is it going any better? This is not an easy road for sure ? but we are there for you.

So ? It has been pouring down rain for the weekend and major thunderstorms over night. Still slept pretty well ? thank you Topa! HA! I started back on it yesterday late afternoon ? which seems to be a good time for me. If I take it too early I am falling asleep at work, and too late and I am having a hard time getting my bumout of bed in the mornings. I decided to repeat my last ?success? a few weeks ago and that was starting at 50mg (not 100mg! HA!) an hold that until I felt I felt the tiredness subside. That?s really the only SE I am getting this time around. That and REALLY thirsty. I get a VERY slight ?almost? headache (someone else said that) but I think it?s almost the same thing as when I am hikingor skiing in high altitudes and am a bit dehydrated. So if anyone if having that symptom, try drinking even more water and it seems to subside.

I?m back to drinking more than I wish I was, but I will give the Topa some time to do its thing again. Trying to stay focused on a real limited amount of wine in the house, as that was a real ?trick? for me before. If it?s here ? I drink it. Dammit. HA! I have 5 glasses of wine in the house yesterday and managed to not go out and buy anymore. That, sadly is good for me ? and the house is again AL free.

Off to work and we shall see how today goes.

Hugs to all!

WTE

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning all - WTE - that is a good idea copying and pasting from word or something - I have only lost one or two but it is so annoying! I had forgotten about you taking the 100 mg tabs instead of the 25 or 50 - gosh, no wonder you were sleeping so well!! LOL It is strange the way that the Topa doesn?t seem to work as well when we jump in at a higher dose too.

Oh - what is SD? You said to Illum that you noticed she was in SD too? Just wondering what SD was?

That was really nice of you to post that info about the migraines - Anne, I really think that is the best route for you - just get it in your head that you get migraines and a friend takes Topa and has had WONDERFUL results on it, and you REALLY want to try it, yada yada yada.

Re when I take my Topa - I take my am dose when I get up and it has no effect - I take my pm dose around lunch time or just after - if I take it any later, like WTE I find it hard to get out of bed the next morning but when I take it in the day I don?t notice any sleepy effects. Strange.

I do have a question and would like input from you all as to your opinion. As you all know, my drink of choice was Guinness. The Topa has made me feel very anti Guinness - so what do I do? Switch drinks! Now, I was wondering if I should go back to the Guinness and not buy anything else? That way I would only have the Guinness which hopefully I wouldn?t want to drink. Last night I had the Kahlua and Milk - I had two - but as I said, I don?t measure it and I am sure that I have a hefty amount. I was wondering which would be a better way to face this trying to go AF. What do you all think?? Oh and I don?t really notice a difference when I take the Nal too so have stopped taking that. I went up to the 100 mg twice a day yesterday. So am hoping for results VERY soon.

Hugs, Sun xx

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning! I'll refrain from giving any advice in the whole insurance discussion, I just wish everyone the best in making the right decisions for themselves. I'm a veteran and a federal employee so I have really good coverage and previously obtained life insurance, so I think I'm okay. And anyway, I'm doing this on my own now. I did first start on the Naltrexone from a psychiatrist who is an addiction and adolescent doctor. I'm not sure if he put AL down or not, as he uses Nal for other addictive behavior as well.

Let's see, sadly, no slip from the post office yet.

Sun: SD is San Diego. Maybe I got too specfiic in location but it appears WTE and Dream are both in southern california as well - we california snobs do so like our wine!!!

I think you should try the Guinness experiment just to see what happens. It certainly couldn't hurt. I know that when I don't have wine in the house but still feel like drinking, I would have 2 or 3 vodka drinks tops and they'd take me much longer to drink than wine. Beer in the house goes completely ignored for me.

WTE, thanks for your encouraging words!

All - Are we still going to try a wine-free (or reduced drink) Wenesday? I know I said it would be hard for me b/c we usually go out to dinner and hubby always orders a bottle of wine, but it looks like he's going to be driving an hour north after work tomorrow to look at a motorcycle for our son, so I can change the bahavior pattern.

Thought I was over whatever crud I had last week as I was feeling really good yesterday, but today woke up with sinus congestion again. I think I might have an infection as it doesn't exactly feel like a cold.

I drank 1 bottle last night. That last glass was kinda big and I really could have done without it, so why didn't I?? I have this real hang-up about finishing the bottle. Think my new goal will be to try to leave that last glass in the bottle.

Hope everyone is having a good day!

[Dreams2thrive]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Illuminae - I think you may be on to something there. It's almost impossible to not finish a bottle once you are 3/4 down unless it's like bottle #2. So maybe that might be a good challenge for all the winos out there. Whether you are on bottle 1 or 2, your challenge is to not finish the bottle. Ah it may be futile for an alcoholic to take on such a challenge, for if it were that easy none of us would be here.

Sunshine - Sounds like the topa is starting to work for you. Let it do it's thing. I still have a bottle of wine in the house and I am totally not tempted to drink it. But if you are still craving the buzz I think maybe you might still have some time to go on the Topa but in the meantime don't shoot yourself in the foot. I wouldn't keep Kahula in the house. Go for the Guiness and if you want the buzz that badly you'll drink it and then the Topa will have the chance to work the way it was intended. You won't drink it. hopefully...

WTE - yes I am in Sunny - eh... rainy southern california! Doesn't this weather make it harder to wake up? As if Topa wasn't enough.

Good luck to everyone tonight

[SassyLassy]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Barely 2 glasses of wine tonight-cause that's all that was left. There were unopened bottles, but hubby didn't want to open them, and I didn't want to really, either. He had some tawny port, but I don't recall liking that, and didn't want to try now. I told him , "I don't want to find some new drink I like at this point in my life"...good for me.!Now to bed.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ladies, I cut to the head of the line! LOL

In other words, I cut thru about 4 pgs of your posts in order to just say HI!! I wish I could read them all and I wish this LOOOOOOOOONG thread could be more organized...I will go back when I have more time and read what I missed, I promise!!

Wish we had our own personal thread or something that people could pop in on. Alas, no one here able or willing to do that like on TMS...So we keep just keep tagging onto one long thread & I guess is ok, just seems long and tedious sometimes...

Mr Austin Dock Guy is coming in town tomorrow so not catching up then either. We shall see....he is very nice, has not overwhelmed me at all when he's gone...I like his voice mails!! Hmmmmm - the jury is still out! LOL We shall see - alls well! Hope so too w/ each of you :- ))

[Dreams2thrive]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yay Sassy! That is GREAT!!! Good for you.

Houtx - what is TMS? I am with you, it's hard to read all the posts and also be courteous and reply to all. At the very least time consuming. I see you are trying out some online dating? I did that about a year ago. Hahaha met some interesting people and one guy who taught me a huge lesson, I'll leave it at that

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello to ALL!

Sunshine – I am exactly as you with the tiredness with Topa. When I went to the 2Xs a day and was at work, the morning dosage didn’t seem to bother me unless I was at home. But one look at that sofa – and it’s ALL OVER! HA!

As far as the change of drinks, I am trying to remember what you did the last time around when you had “success”. Didn’t you stay with the Kailua and then that just started to fade? I think the original idea was to “help you sleep” and that should have passed. Perhaps try going back to the beer and see what happens. If you are not happy with what the cravings/habits are now – shake it up perhaps?

Illum – Had to laugh at your So Cal wine comment. How can you NOT be a wine snob in California?? It was so very chic to drink wines with the girls at luncheons on the patios and the such. A very common weekend outing is the wineries! Wine tasting dinners, wine, wine wine! HA!

And Illum – that crud seems to really be going around these parts. I had a touch of it too. DR said NO tablets to dry up your nose but rather Musinex (sp?) or it gets worse.

And I used to be like you on that last glass” in the bottle thing. As silly/stupid/wasteful as it sounds, when Topa starting kicking in for me – I starting pouring it out! Really. When I had that feeling start of Errrrrr .. do I really want this – I would dump it right then. The temptation was gone. For me – if it’s here – I drink it. UGH.

Sassy – Which bring me to you! Unopened bottles and you had 2 glasses! Congrats!!!! Me? Where the hell is that opener??? HA! I admire your control! I will bless the day I will actually be able to have a wine rack in my hose again that actually has wine in it!

Dreams – Yep. Nt so sunny CA these days! How did you do last night?

Hey Houtx! Riding the fence huh? LOL Well – enjoy the company if it feels right. How is the Topa going for you?

So, I managed another 10 night of sleep last night – going to be mega beautiful soon with all this sleep! HA! Came home to a dark, cold house and it was pouring rain (sunny CA my arse!) and after feeding the pup it just felt good to get into fuzzy PJs and watch TV – which lasted all of about 15 minutes. At this point I don’t care – my body must need and I remember this SE from Topa the last time around and it does fade for me.

Not a bad day for me - 4 units or a touch under. Even at only Day 2 of being back on a “normal” dose of Topa (50mg) I am being to feel a slight “something”. I actually had no wine in the house last night and while I was tempted to pick up a bottle, I bought a small bottle of brandy instead. Made one hot brandy with lemon and I suppose over poured a bit so calling it two units. And surprisingly while it was nice and comforting for the evening – it was enough. Went to bed with a tall glass of lemon water feeling totally satisfied. Sweet.

So is today our challenge day? I was hoping I would be up for an AF day, but after I blew my start “out of the gate” with the 100 mg goof up, I’m not sure I am quite there just yet. Today is Day 3 for me back on a proper program.

Wishing everyone the success they hope for today and this evening …

WTE

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning all
Well - so much for my plan! Not only did I finish the kahlua, but also drank the whole 4 pack of the Guinness!!! LOL Oh well, maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all. Back to the kahlua - yes WTE you are right, I did just go on to the kahlua and then fade that out. So I think I had better go back to Plan A. I am not sure what you mean by shake it up?

Houtx - it doesn't matter if we can't go back and read all - we will all catch up in just the last couple I think - generally we know from the last few what is going on.

Sassy - go you, that is great!!

Anne - your appt is tomorrow isn't it? have you decided what you are going to say yet?

Re the reduced Wednesday - I will go for that tonight - I am doing the closing shift and then opening tomorrow morning so get home around 10.30, and have to be up around 5.30 so it shouldn't be too difficult - I almost feel i am cheating! Especially after last nights debacle!!

WTE - it sounds as if you are beginning to change too - good for you!

Talk later everyone,

Hugs to you all,

love, Sun xx

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, seems like last night was a catastrophe for me too Sunny.

I had been drinking moderately (2 drinks) every night. Monday was an AF day.
Last night I was very depressed.
I'm very stressed at work. My boss is very rude and disrespectful. My mother and father are not feeling well and I'm worried.
So I opened a bottle, drank the whole bottle and two shots of tequila. :no:
Of course I'm hungover today.



No drinking tonight. I hope.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, I wouldn't say last night was a catastrophe for me, but we went to dinner and shared a bottle of wine and then I drank another one at home even though I started the night telling myself to try the "leave some in the bottle" challenge. WTE good for you on the strength to dump it out as soon as you get the thought. That still seems like a crime to me. Though I did walk away from a glass at the restaurant that had a healthy sip left in it. Hubby and kids were ready to go and I had no feeling like I needed to chug that last bit.

So this would be a "normal" amount for me usually with no problem, but guess what - headache again this morning! I hate that! Need to use that as further incentive to keep the amounts lower.

We'll see what tonight brings. And I was thinking - I don't want anyone to get bummed out if you say you're going to try for the AF or low amount day and don't make it. Let's not be our own worst enemies or god forbid like an AA meeting! If you want to do the challenge and succeed, great! If you don't make it, no biggie, keep going with your treatment as best suits you. We all know ourselves better than anything, but if the encouragement of the gals here helps, terriffic!

And to Houtx, I kind of like this one thread where we all know right where to go to see what's up. And I don't think anyone is getting their feelings hurt if each of us doesn't address a specific comment to everyone else every time. The individual threads on TSM are good too, but I find myself wanting to read every new post every day and that takes up a lot of time!