Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Aaaaaaaah sleep. I just had another 10 hours. I think I am caught up now. Day 8 and I am feeling pretty good about AF. But I also noticing that going this stretch is also not that difficult for me. Play, I don't find it hard to go without AF. The problem I have is when I do drink is that I can't stop, and not stopping (even for that one night) can cause a whole array of problems. Losing 2 days from being hung over, saying mean things, doing embarrassing things, etc. -- it's a cycle that doesn't make for a very productive or positive life. Even if I am out drinking to have a good time the result is often the same. I laughed because on my story thread someone commented that they didn't see what I would learn from this 30-90 AF this time that I didn't already learn from 9 years sober. I suppose there is some truth to that statement, but on the other hand, I never went into these 9 years of drinking with a plan for modding. I love this thread, but I do see problems with this site overall that can be unproductive for those who don't fit into the typical problem drinking mode or do have aspirations for modding. I did start a binge thread and got a few responses, but I don't think that this type of drinking is the case for most of the people here.

    Dizzy, yes, the morning is usually the most productive for me as well. Late afternoon is hard! I can be productive later in the evening as well. But you are right, juggling the work at home has its challenges. I say, buy the sneakers if you really want them! Glad for the update on your visa. What a crazy long process though, and yes, money always money.

    Chiming in to say I love Greek yoghurt too, but my fave is the Astro Balkin Style. No extras -- just skim milk, cream and culture. I also love it with no sugar. I add fresh fruit (usually just raspberries, but this morning also adding some mango). Space
    , I find eating regularly when I work at home a challenge. My only saving grace is I don't have a sweet tooth. Fruit or jam is about as sweet as I get. Protein with a salad is a great lunch. I also like soup with some bread.

    Sun
    , Growing CANTALOUPES! I only grew them once but I followed some key tips that made it successful (we also had a hot fall which contributed a lot I think). I put them in the hottest bed in the yard so they pretty much had direct sun all day. I also grew them from seed, but if your season is short seedlings would be a better option. The key, though, is in mulching. Although they like hot, they also need the soil to stay moist all day. I used flax hay to mulch because flax doesn't rot. Oh and just like cucumbers it is good to pull flowers higher up the stem once the cantaloupes start growing.

    Will post more later. Time for breakfast and some working time. Hugs, LJ

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Morning, everyone! Day 15 AF...

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Stuck - I'm hoping your turning your tiger sights on that bullshit of alcohol and getting on with your real life because you bloody well deserve it, LA.
        Teezah

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Love the picture and so proud of anyone that has given up. I still am drinking too much gin. Yuck, I have seen it eat away the finish off furniture and it has taken the shine off my granite. Can you imagine what it is doing to my gut. Was frustrated with my Friday and drank way too much, I mark my bottles to keep track of how much I drink.
          I would address everyone but I am in an out too much. this is a great thread that allows people to say there piece or peace, whatever, .
          I have a question, I have set an appointment for an alcohol counselor, and I have been very honest with all my doctors. My question is, is my alcohol problem out there to the world. The reason I have been honest (to doctors) not family is I know I need help quiting.

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            A Dream Come True!

            Hi Everyone,
            I want to share my " dream come true" with you all, I didn't say anything yesterday because I still could not believe that it was happening.

            So, here is the story, I'm sixty four and kind of grew up with music artists such as Joni Mitchell, Joan Baez, and most importantly, Leonard Cohen. I have been in love with him for my whole life, his poetry, his songs, everything about him and have always dreamed of seeing him live in concert. But you know he is Canadian and famous and every time I check out his tour, he is in London or somewhere that I could never hope to see him.

            So now we are both older but I still love him just as much, I have every book he has written and every album, so on Thursday I was riding along in the number 12 bus on my way home after work. It passes in front of the very historic "Paramount" theater in Oakland, I always glance up at it just because it is so beautiful.

            Well, that night when I glanced up, I saw the name, Leonard Cohen, March 2 nd and 3rd, I just about had a heart attack, it was beyond my wildest imagination of something that could happen. The minute I got home I got on the computer looking for a ticket and of course all the reasonable priced tickets were sold out, but lets face it, I was lucky there were any tickets at all and I would have paid anything to see him, so I ended up with a almost front row seat for the most awesome event I could have imagined.

            So last night I found myself there at the theater, I had never been inside and It was beyond anything I could have imagined, the most beautiful Art Deco place in the world and when Leonard came out on stage I actually started crying. He and his band/orchestra played and sang for four hours, I felt like the most blessed person in the Universe.

            Just wanted to share that and would like to post some pics of the theatre but I can only do it thru WTE (I don't know how) and she is not around at the moment.

            Anyway, thanks for sharing this with me. I will try to finish catching up later or tomorrow.

            Love, play

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Hi LJ, just noticing your comment about not finding people on the site who want to modd. Have you looked further into the site? There are threads for people who are attempting long term moderation, it is not in the med section, you have to look a bit further. I also question the advice to join the newbies thread, I did not find them supportive at all except for complete abstinence.

              Anyway, still need to play catch up with everyone here, I'm getting pretty tired about now, I think my cold is getting better but it is Sunday and I have also had almost a bottle of wine so that probably accounts for being tired, tomorrow I take the AB, what a relief

              xoxoxo

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Hi Play ... I am SOOOOO excited that you got to see Leonard Cohen. It's so great when you get to cross off something on your bucket list! I saw him this year for the first time myself. It is truly one of the best and most inspiring concerts that I have ever seen in my life! The set was absolutely amazing and I couldn't believe the talent of all of the musicians who played with him. It was a breathtaking experience. Lucky us!

                Hi Maggie. Nice to see you. Yes, this truly is a very safe thread where you can pretty much post anything and everyone is supportive. I am not quite sure what you are asking, but if you are wondering if it is a good idea to speak to an alcohol counsellor then I would say it won't hurt to give it a try. Keep us posted on your visit if you like. Other people on this thread probably have more experience than I in that arena, but we are all here for you.

                Congrats on your 15 days Stuckin. That is awesome! I am on Day 8 so we can stay close!

                Cheers, LJ

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Hi and good morning or wherever you are !! It is a lovely day - or I hope it will be !!

                  Meggie - good to see you again - I think it is great that you have an appt with an AL counselor ! I was a tad confused though - does your family know? As for your problem being out there for the word to know - that is up to you. the counselor can't say anything so if you want to tell folk, that is your choice. But I think it is great. I wish there was one where I lived - it would be interesting to go to one but I have not been able to find one here. When do you go?

                  Play - how wonderful for you that you got to see Leonard Cohen at last and had such wonderful seats too! I am so happy for you - it must have seemed like a dream !! I am really pleased for you that you managed to go - how exciting !!

                  I actually looked at the AB this morning and am considering taking it today. Then I thought about it and have decided that if I do not stick to my two this week, then next Monday i am going to take it. I almost popped it in my mouth before i could change my mind but then wondered if it was too soon - it was 5.00 this morning and I had a drink last night at 6.00. That was my last one but even so, thought it had to be 12 hours. And now I have had time to think about it. I think it is wonderful for you the way it is working and glad that we talked last night - you have really got me wondering about it again.

                  LJ - good to see you here too. As Play said there are some mods threads - I would have to go to the first page and look and then of course would leave this so won't right now, but will try and see if I can find them for you. Really well done on day 8 !!! Yes, the site has changed a little in that these days it is geared more to abstaining rather than modding, so one has to be careful where one posts and what is said - but if you look you can find some threads that mod.

                  Oh - greek yoghurt is wonderful!!!! I like just plain although the french vanilla is rather nice.....

                  Thanks for the tips re the cantaloupes - I might have a spare raised bed this year so might just try them !!

                  Stuck - loved the picture and awesome on your day 15 !! you are doing so well - hugs to you :l

                  Dizzy - hope you hear about the visa today - you said Monday or Tuesday, so fingers crossed. It would be good to have it finished with !!

                  I have to get ready for work - so see you all later, hugs,

                  sun XX
                  How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Hi all, Im not sure when I last posted, although I have been reading I just kind of havent had anything to say. I am feeling ok today in my mood which is great for me, I got my car back last Friday and have had my daughter staying since Saturday so we have been able to go out together for a drive. Since I was in the car accident 10 years ago a while after that I started getting panic attacks while driving and did stop for a while, then I got myself to be able to drive ok just on the local city roads but not on bigger faster roads and motorways so over the past few days I have been going up and down a road by mine which is a 70mph biggish road and have got myself ok on it, at first I did feel anxious but am now starting to relax. This is such a massive achievement for me and will mean that I will be able to take my family out for days and maybe camping this year.

                    I got my Rhodiola this morning so have started taking it, will let you all know if I notice any change.

                    Hi lj I was just reading about your saying you want to mod and also think it might be a good idea for you to look at the modding threads. I have always thought that I would love to be able to work from home and do envy you and Dizzy, I wouldnt know where to start though so have never looked into it.

                    Its nice to see you again Meggie, sorry your not feeling too good right now but just keep coming and posting and reading, it worked for me:l

                    Well done on day 15 Stuck your doing really well, are you managing to get out of the flat yet? Oh and have you got the gabapentin yet, I have been taking it for ages for pain in fact so long I cant tell you if it helps or not because I dont know what Id feel like without it.

                    Play that is so lovely that you went to the concert and also had such great seats, it was meant for you to get the ticket when all the cheaper seats where sold so you would have such a wonderful time that you will remember.

                    Hi Sun, so you are seeing how this week goes with the drink and also thinking about the AB again, that sounds good, I know you like to drink everyday but it is so hard to keep the levels down and not start creeping up again so its a good idea that you are doing this this week, telling yourself that if you dont keep to 2max you will take the AB may even put you off going over.

                    Talking about Suns cans reminded me that I still have those 4 cans under the cupboard, and still dont want to drink them. Over the weekend I did think that I would like to go out and have a drink, but then my thinking changed to I would like to go out and have lots of drinks, so really Im kind of glad I had no one to go out with.

                    xx

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      Hi, all.

                      Play: wow! Can't say I know who Leonard Cohen is, but I'm glad you had a dream that came true!

                      Sunim ready to go back to spirituality, my life is stressful w clients mad at me and which makes me feel bad. I can't help when there's a bad outcome that I can't do anything about but people just want to blame me. I already started to read some of the lessons and there's a great website by swami J about meditation. Let's get restarted!

                      Space
                      : I've gotten into a few car accidents myself and I know what you mean about having panic attacks. I'll do anything to Avoid going to places I don't know.
                      Alcoholic (or Ally)

                      "Only a fool knows everything.
                      A wise man knows how little he knows."

                      Please feel free to block/ignore my posts through your control panel.

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Hi Play.

                        You posted on my thread but I thought I'd answer you here, since you read this thread more, and Space is here, too. Hi Space.

                        Well... so I was drinking for a few days straight, or a week, or something like that, and I knew I had to stop but was having a lot of anxiety--which is why I was drinking first thing in the morning, you know. I took myself to an urgent aid, got a shot of Ativan and a prescription for more, and came home and dumped all my booze down the sink--which is still painful to think about. Anyway, that aside, I managed the withdrawal on my own for the first few days with the Ativan, and to help sleep, and then tapered off that.

                        I think the point of all that is that not drinking isn't impossible. It's not even that hard most of the time. It just sucks. I'm camped out at home most of the time because I only have to go into work on Wednesdays and Thursdays (except this week, when it's everyday), and I'm too lazy to leave otherwise. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty down, and the nights drag, and sleeping isn't the easiest, but I'm dealing. I went to the AA meeting in my neighborhood the last two weeks, but was too tired tonight, so I skipped it. AA doesn't really help--well, that's not fair, since I have no intention of getting a sponsor or working the steps--but it does remind me that I don't want to drink, or shouldn't drink, or whatever. The difference between this time that I'm sober for a little bit, and last year when I was going to AA, is that this time around I'm not really denying myself much. If I feel like going to the bar I go to the bar and hang out. I can chat with the bartender and talk with the guys a little. I just don't drink. If the liquor starts looking too good I leave, and when I get home there's nothing here to drink.

                        The rest of the time I just do what I'm supposed to do, for the most part. Keep the dishes clean, keep doing the laundry, wash the cats' water bowl. You know, little stuff. I keep thinking I want to take the Ativan recreationally, and abuse the hell out of it, but pills aren't really my thing, and I'm going to run out of it if I do that. And I'm still pretty intent on getting high, but again, I'm too lazy to go find pot. So here I am, sober. Ugh.

                        And yes, the gabapentin arrived today. Took 600mg a little while ago and don't really feel anything. Maybe it improved my mood a little, not sure. I guess I'm going to shoot for 1200mg/day, since that seems to be about what people take. Probably split that into two doses, and wait and see how it goes. If I like it I'll work on finding someone to write me a script for it--I've got enough for almost two months before needing to worry about that.

                        Well, that's my story. Hope everyone's having a good one! :l:l:l

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Oh Goodness .. I can’t even THINK about trying to catch up! ……

                          Hello All! I have missed you!

                          A grand HELLO to the few I see new here … sorry for my late welcomes. Been a bit of a bummer time for me but there is always the light that brings me back here.

                          This will be short as it’s late for me, but so many of you have been on my mind. And HOUTX! Seeing you on Sunday! Whooo HOOO!

                          Play – I felt magic about your post on seeing your dream musician. Seee.. there IS magic in the world! =) And I am STILL waiting for the Spain pictures to post for you too! HA!

                          Sun – I miss you desperately and thank you for our last phone conversation. I have not been in a good way since my accident. You were a breath of fresh air (as always) and I hope whatever your plans are for now that they work out.

                          Space – Sweet Space. I just love your posts and know I read – even if I have not been a place to post of recent.

                          Dizz – A hug to you. I actually dreamed about you the other night. Nothing important – but know you have obviously been on my mind as well. Perhaps it is my niece from London coming in the fall and thinking of you and England the trips …

                          Stuck – You crack me up every time I read your posts. Please never stop being here!

                          Ally - HUGS!

                          And on that note, I will make it short. I read. I am still drinking too much but somehow happen to make it through the days. I had an awful “crash” a few weeks ago – but am recovering from it all. I WISH I could blame it on a fun drunk night …. but it was my crazy low pressure again. *sigh* Thankfully at home in the middle of the night – but still recovering from 44 stitches in my face after hitting the bedframe/floor. UGH. (Thought I should warn you Houtx! Don’t look too cute as I don’t HA!)

                          Back on L Glut and trying to be better about eating instead of drinking too much. It sucks sucking on a straw to drink everything. LOL

                          Just wanted to say hello and let all of you know I think about all of you often …. Even if I missed a name or so … I am just so behind … promise to catch up soon here …

                          With Love.
                          WTE & C
                          XO

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            HI WTE !!!!! Lovely to see you here - I hope that you are continuing to heal. How lovely that Houtx is arriving on Sunday - I know the two of you will have lots of fun together. I want to hear all about it. Yes, it was lovely chatting the other day - I really miss seeing you here though, as do the others. You really need to come back

                            Space - sorry about the car incident - although driving in UK can be hairy. I am happy that you have your car back and are feeling more comfortable on the roads again. Good for you !! :l How is it going with the Rhodiola? It is really subtle - but it does take the edge off I found. Just sort of helps a little.....

                            My drinking was fine last night and yes, I do think about if I don't keep it down then I will take the Ab and it does help!

                            Hallo Stuck - good to see you too and sorry you aren't feeling better. It is grand though that you aren't drinking. I do feel that it is a shame that this thing is so hard for us - you sound so unhappy right now. Hugs and love to you :l

                            Hi there Ally - nice to see you back - are you feeling recovered from your dads visit? yes, we must get started again on the stuff. Hopefully Play saw that too and we can all get going again. I so love not having to interact with people now in the new job so I feel for you having to do so at work. I know how they can be. How is the drinking going?

                            I need to get ready for work...... back later, hugs to all,

                            Love, Sun XX
                            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              Where is everyone?
                              How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                Did I scare them all off? HA!

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X